Nightlight

By pure luck, Brimstone had a mission for Fade. It was something Fade really needed to get Nightmare off her back and distract her from whatever mess she was feeling about her relationship with Neon. She only hoped they'd be able to talk after both of their missions had ended.

At the end of their briefing, a quick recon mission in Norway, Fade asked Brimstone "Did you send Neon on a mission earlier today?"

The old man looked her up and down and frowned. "No, she's got the day off," he said carefully. "With Raze and Reyna."

Fade could easily tell he was also hiding something. All at once, her doubts returned. What was Brimstone hiding?

"But, Fade," Brimstone said, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I promise you nothing's wrong. In fact, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Trust me. Trust Neon."

He gave her a comforting smile, and Fade slowly nodded back.

"Alright," she said. "Thank you."

Brimstone gave her a thumbs up, then patted her on the back. "The team's waiting," he said. "I promise, everything's fine."

Fade nodded, turning and heading down the empty corridor to the hangar. Her sense of worry was somewhat alleviated, knowing Brimstone always tried to look out for all of them and do what he thought was best. If he was so confident nothing was wrong, Fade shouldn't worry so much.

The mission turned out to be a big waste of time, the lead that they picked up on being a misunderstanding due to a communication error.

As they flew back, Fade found herself getting antsy again. Would Neon be back? Could they talk? What would Neon say? What would her explanation be?

Beside her, Killjoy suddenly squealed out in excitement. Fade jerked away at the high pitched noise basically directly next to her ear, wincing as Killjoy said "Oh, sorry. But I'm so excited! Raze finally got her hands on some new tech that we've been needing for a long time! She's already back at base."

"Fifty creds it's illegal," Yoru smirked.

"What?" Killjoy gasped indignantly, head shooting up to glare at Yoru. "Of course not! Turkey legalised a lot of good tech. If we buy it there, it's not illegal."

At the words 'Raze' and 'Turkey', Fade's head immediately swivelled back to look at Killjoy. Did that mean Neon went to Turkey as well? Why would she go along if their trip was for Raze to get some 'legal' tech?

"But when you bring it back..." Yoru said, letting the sentence trail.

"Oh, but we live on some unknown island way out in the ocean," Killjoy said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "The American rules don't apply there. It's too far out."

Yoru made some unconvinced grumbling sound, clearly unwilling to give up on his credits so easily. "I'll ask Brimstone," he said instead.

For the rest of the ride, Fade was even more restless. Neon was probably back at base, and their inevitable 'confrontation' was a lot closer than Fade was comfortable with.

When they landed, Fade hung back, head down, and let the others go out first as she agonised over how she should start the conversation.

"Fade, if you don't get out, you're coming with me to Australia," Skye called, a friendly grin on her face as she stepped into the vehicle.

"Sorry," Fade said with a start, somehow not noticing the Australian.

"What's wrong?" Skye asked. "It's Valentine's Day. Go spend some time with Neon! She's been waiting for you for an hour now, and everyone can tell she's anxious to see you."

Valentine's Day? Fade vaguely knew the day existed and what its purpose was, but not much else around it. She wasn't too concerned, though, as Skye's words caused her doubts to somewhat dissipate.

"She has?" Fade asked, finally lifting her head to stare at Skye. She could feel her spirits lifting at the idea of Neon missing her, and the prospect of spending quality time with her again.

"Of course!" Skye laughed. "Were you really so down because you didn't get to be with her for a day? Come on, Fade. I didn't know you were such a big softie!"

"What?" Fade blushed, shaking her head as she started down the ramp. "No, that's not-" she began, only to stop as she realised yes, in a way, that was why. She was feeling lonely because she didn't get to spend time with Neon and Nightmare made it worse by dragging out her insecurity.

Skye laughed again as Fade's phone buzzed repeatedly in her pocket, something that annoyed Fade to not end.

"That's probably her," Skye said, "Wondering where the hell her girlfriend is because Raze and Reyna have already found theirs."

A small smile formed on Fade's face as she checked her phone, for the first time not bothered by the ungodly amount of texts spamming her because of the affection the gesture meant. Indeed, it was Neon. The texts wrote:

FADEEEEE

WHERE ARE YOU

KJ AND EVERYONE'S BACK

BUT YOU'RE NOT

YOU BETTER COME SOON

OR I'M HUNTING YOU DOWN

AND DRAGGING YOU BACK HERE

Fade couldn't help but chuckle, her spirits soaring.

"Alright, thank you, Skye," she said.

"No worries, go get your girl!" Skye encouraged.

Fade turned and jogged down, spurred on by Skye's energy.

~~~

Neon watched as Raze ran to hug Killjoy, excitedly showing her the parts she'd texted her the second they'd returned back to base, the two rambling on about what they could use it for. Something about lasers and advanced detection.

Yoru had dashed off somewhere almost immediately, but Neon didn't pay his words too much mind.    

Omen and Cypher had also appeared, strolling at what looked to the impatient Neon like a snail's pace. There was no way Fade was slower than them, right?

Peering out to the direction of the hangar, Neon couldn't see the familiar black and white hair nor the confident, slightly teasing face she was so intimately familiar with.

Whipping out her phone, Neon texted Fade a series of messages, spamming her in the way Fade hated. She was anxious to show Fade her own gift, as well as spend what time of the special day they had left together. She hoped Fade was feeling better than when she'd seen her at midnight.

Finally, a minute after she left Neon on 'read', Fade walked into the common area with her hands in her pockets. It was a move Fade made when she didn't want to be acknowledged by others, often paired with a hunched back and head bent down with eyes roaming the floor. Neon had seen a lot of that when Fade first arrived at the protocol.

As soon as their eyes connected, Neon was glad to see Fade take her hands out of her pockets and change direction. She dashed up to her girlfriend, hugging Fade closely.

"You're back!" she exclaimed. "What did you do?"

"Nothing much," Fade said as she returned the hug, albeit a bit loosely.

Neon glanced at Fade, a bit worried. The Turkish agent wasn't usually so evasive with her answers. In fact, for a bounty hunter that kept information close to her heart, she was always very open and told Neon a lot. She had a lot of things on her mind all the time, and Neon was like an outlet for her to unburden them.

But right now, with her face so emotionless like she was hiding something, Neon was sure something was wrong. She took Fade's hands in her own, noting how clammy they were, and asked "You sure? We can go to my room if you want to talk in private. I have something there for you, too."

The reminder of her gift caused Neon to stare up at Fade in nervous anticipation, anxious to know her answer and hoping her choice of the gift was a good one.

Would Fade like it? What if there was some negative cultural association? Neon had asked Cypher to do a search on her gift to make sure, and the information broker had told her it was fine. Still, Neon was nervous about what Fade would think of it. She'd spent too long scrolling through various websites and bouncing ideas off of her friends.

In fact, Neon was pretty sure Jett would scream if she mentioned 'Fade' and 'gift' in the same sentence one more time.

"Something for me?" Fade asked, looking surprised and suddenly worried.

"Uh, yeah," Neon said, trying to look into Fade's eyes to see what had her so anxious all of a sudden.

Fade refused to meet her gaze, seemingly considering her proposal, then nodded. "Alright," she said.

As they walked, Fade said, almost defensively "I didn't know it was Valentine's Day today."

Neon glanced up, surprised. "Don't you celebrate that in Turkey?" she asked. Valentine's Day for her family was special, a time for every loved one, not just partners, to come together and celebrate together.

"Well, I know it exists," Fade said, anxiety and apprehension apparent in her voice. "And a lot of people use it as a marketing trick, but no, we don't really put much emphasis on it."

"That's fine," Neon said, a bit confused on why Fade was suddenly telling her this.

She soon got her answer when they reached Neon's room. Fade glanced rapidly between her and the door, anxious in a way that was not at all like her usual, confident self. "No, uh, I have to confess I don't exactly have a gift for you," Fade mumbled, looking away from Neon. "I'm sorry. You don't have to give me your gift, though, you could probably return it depending on-"

"What- no!"

At first, Neon had been surprised and disappointed to know Fade had let what she considered to be an extremely important event slip. Valentine's Day for her was to be treated just as importantly as a birthday would be, so she hadn't expected Fade to be so ignorant about it.

But almost immediately, her disappointment was gone and replaced with understanding. Obviously, some cultures wouldn't put the same amount of emphasis on the same holiday. There had always been a lot of cultural dissonance between every agent in the protocol, from holidays to actions to everything.

So when Fade started talking about returning the gift, Neon cut her off.

Fade stared at her, wide eyed, and Neon quickly continued before the Turk thought she was angry at her. The depressing tone she had taken was enough of an indicator to show that she was in a very bad headspace in that moment.

"It's ok if you don't have a gift for me," Neon said, gently taking Fade's hands in her own, even as the older agent slightly flinched away as she approached.

"I get it, and I don't mind. It's just a cultural difference, you know? Like that time Sage didn't want to clean the floor because it was Chinese New Year or something."

Despite Fade's mood currently being rather down, Neon was glad at the small smile she managed to get out of Fade as they both recalled how Sage started panicking when Sova tried to sweep the sand off the floor after their visit to an island in the Bermuda Triangle.

"But you obsessed over it for so long," Fade protested. "I could see you struggling over it for weeks. How can I just accept that without giving anything back?"

"Because if you don't accept it, I'll be even more sad," Neon pouted, giving her best puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, alright," Fade said, leaning forward and for the first time initiating physical contact as she briefly hugged Neon.

Smiling in triumph, Neon returned the hug tightly.

"Come on," she said, skipping to her door and opening it, going in and glancing back to make sure Fade was also coming in.

"Do you want to just cuddle after this?" Neon asked, knowing cuddling and talking was something that helped Fade feel better when she was down.

"That sounds really nice," Fade said as she entered, her reply so fast that Neon had to hold back a laugh.

Going straight to her table, cluttered with decorations, reminders of family, and cool objects she found, Neon grabbed the bright yellow box in the middle of everything.

The gift she had chosen had initially been kept in a simple, brown box, the lid taped down. However, when Neon told the Turkish sellers that it would be a gift for a friend, they'd hurried off to find her some wrapping paper and string, transforming the plain exterior into something that looked more like a present.

Neon almost felt like a schoolgirl with her crush as she offered it to Fade, who had taken a seat on her bed, shyly and anxiously watching as Fade glanced at her once before pulling the string apart and carefully undoing the folds of the wrapping paper.

Neon took a seat next to Fade as the lid of the box came off, staring at Fade's expression like an eagle as she searched for her reaction.

Fade took the object out, and the first thing that flashed across her face was recognition.

Neon had settled on a Turkish lamp after much consideration.

She knew that Fade often struggled in complete darkness due to how it reminded her of the pit that was Nightmare, a yawning black hole that hungrily ate up all light and hope, plunging the world beyond the length of an outstretched hand in darkness.

The second reaction was surprise, Fade's face transforming from an emotionless wall to a smile, eyes widening slightly as she turned the main piece of the disassembled lamp back and forth.

It was a night blue shade with red and yellow patterns, forming a sort of star shape that repeated around the circumference of the lamp.

"It's like a nightlight," Neon began nervously, unsure what to make of Fade's surprise. "You know, because...you don't like complete darkness?"

"It's beautiful," Fade said, her grin slowly widening the more she looked at it and touched it. "I love it."

Turning to Neon, Fade gave her a brief, chaste kiss that left Neon blushing before turning back to the lamp.

"I'm glad," Neon managed, lingering on the feeling of Fade's lips and the warmth in her eyes and voice.

After admiring it for a few more seconds, Fade looked back at her.

"I'm really sorry I don't have a gift for you," she said, an apologetic look coming into her eyes. "If I knew it was Valentine's Day today, I would've prepared something-"

"Fade, Fade," Neon insisted, shuffling closer so their thighs were pressed against each other. "Please, it's fine," she said, looking up at Fade, the Turk staring back down at her, heterochromatic eyes fixed on her like she was the only thing in the world.

"I don't need gifts to know how you feel for me. You always show me in your actions and words. So don't worry," Neon said.

Fade gave a short laugh, briefly touching her head to Neon's. "Alright," she said. "Thank you."

Neon smiled in satisfaction as Fade put the lamp back in the box, setting the whole thing on Neon's bedside table as she got fully onto the bed. Turning to Neon, the Turk asked "Cuddle?"

Neon grinned at how eager she was and scooted back, settling down next to Fade and holding her.

Although she didn't want to send the mood back down a dark path again, Neon figured it was better for Fade to voice out why she was so distant so they could work through it together.

She didn't immediately bring that matter up, though, letting Fade settle and seeing if she wanted to start the conversation. The Turk usually voiced her thoughts and troubles out during their cuddle sessions without prompting, and Neon didn't want to make her uncomfortable or upset.

They snuggled together, revelling in each others warmth. Neon was on her stomach, side pressed against Fade, who was on her side and facing Neon. Fade's arm was wrapped around her, and Neon had her head pressed close to Fade's chest.

Finally, after a couple minutes of silence, Neon finally spoke up.

"Is there something up?" she asked. "You've been quiet and distant today, and you didn't look well this morning, or well, at midnight, when I left."

Fade sighed, but didn't immediately answer. She just pressed her head down against Neon's, breath washing gently against the scalp of her head.

"The entire time yesterday, you were planning the trip and gift?" she asked.

"Yeah," Neon said. "But there wasn't any other reason to go to Turkey so Brim wouldn't let me go. I'm so lucky Raze needed those parts and Reyna got some jewelry for Sage delivered to Turkey, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get it."

"I could hear you coming and leaving for a long time," Fade said. Her voice was quiet, soft, a bit wistful, and Neon knew she should listen closely because Fade was revealing her thoughts now.

"I wondered when you'd come over to talk or just be together, but you never did. You didn't tell me why, either. I was scared, I thought you were avoiding me, especially when I finally saw you at midnight and saw the fear and surprise in your eyes. I didn't know why you were leaving without telling me, opening and closing the door so quietly."

Neon nearly spoke up in protest at that, heart wrenching at the thought of the confusion and despair Fade must've felt. She suddenly realised what her actions looked like to Fade, realised what she must've been thinking because Fade had told her early on her experience with relationships in her life.

Fade had told Neon about how her family abandoned her, alienating her because of her powers and throwing her out of their house. How she refused to have friends when she acquainted herself with the Turkish underground, partly due to the risk that came along with backstabbing and the emotional ties and dependency that friendship brought. She was terrified of them.

Although Fade had expressed multiple times that she was thankful for her love with Neon, expressing how she'd never felt more alive and loved, she'd also admitted that she was scared because of the very same emotional ties that their relationship brought.

"I don't think I could handle it if I lost you," she'd admitted. "I'd lose so much more than just you."

"I'm sorry," Neon whispered, shifting onto her side to wrap her arms around Fade. The older agent squeezed back, and Neon continued. "There's no excuse for me. I forgot, and that hurt you a lot. I should've realised sooner, I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better in the future."

Fade didn't answer verbally, but the way she pressed her head into Neon's shoulder and hugged her harder told Neon she wanted her closer, and Neon took that as a sign that she'd accepted her apology.

It took Neon about 5 seconds to realise Fade was silently crying, and she nearly flinched in her panic.

"Fade?" she asked anxiously, gently thumbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. "What- uh, is this my fault? Fade, I'm sorry," she tried, a tad panicked, not sure how to help and wondering if she'd misinterpreted Fade's actions.

"No, no," Fade said, face still pressed against Neon. "It's...it's ok." They stayed together, Neon uncertain but obliging and silent, giving Fade what space and time she needed to calm down as she continued rubbing circles around Fade's back.

Slowly, Fade's sniffles disappeared, but they stayed in the same position, tightly wound around each other.

"Are you good?" Neon asked, a bit nervously, a few minutes of silence later.

Fade hummed in affirmative, her head falling back down from Neon's shoulder onto the bed as she looked over and gave her a small smile, eyes still red and puffy from her crying.

"Better now, thanks for the talk," she said softly.

Neon didn't answer verbally, her eyes zeroing in on little streaks of tears still on her girlfriend's face that hadn't been soaked up by her shirt.

Letting go of Fade with one hand, she reached forward to thumb the tears away.

Fade went rigid for the briefest second, but then immediately relaxed, slightly leaning into Neon's touch with that same small, appreciative smile still on her face.

Relieved that Fade was feeling better, Neon let a smile come out as well, pressing closer to snuggle into her girlfriend and continue their cuddle session.