Voicemail Messages
Steve walked into the conference room, juggling his tablet, coffee and notes. He had spent the last three hours putting the latest news of SEE (the name stuck even if everyone refused to acknowledge what it stood for – except Tony). As the mapping went on, Steve began to see a pattern and he was eager to present his possible idea at the weekly conference. Due to concern about the emergence of SEE, there was now a weekly interagency meeting where all the information was discussed and chewed over. So far, the Avengers group, backed by international organizations (JTC, Interpol, etc.) was managing to counter the multiple attacks from SEE, but they still hadn’t been able to get ahead and figure out what SEE’s overall plan was. Steve thought he might have found a thread to pull.
He assumed the conference room was empty until he heard a giggle from one side. There was Tony Stark. He was giggling over his phone in an empty conference room. Steve was just about to slide back out again; Tony tended not to acknowledge Steve outside of meetings and other professional obligations. Although he was no longer reacting to Steve as he might to a snake – so that was progress, according to his therapist. But Tony looked up and saw him.
“Rogers, you have to hear this!” beckoning him closer and laying his phone on the table. “Pepper got me a new PA and gave her access to my business voicemail and, I guess she got bored.” Then he slid his finger on the thin screen and a voice began to speak in a calm, professional, ‘this is the voice mail of an important person’ way.
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Start. He is not available. Please leave a message.” That sounded completely normal and Steve looked at Tony. “Wait for it” the genius replied, and the next message played.
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Stark. Mr. Stark has stepped out for coffee. He was muttering about Kenya so he might be awhile. Please leave a message.”
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Stark. Mr. Stark is unavailable as he has been taken hostage by a supervillain who is demanding Fudge Town cookies. As these cookies have not been commercially available for a few years, he may not return your calls in a timely manner. Please leave a message.”
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Stark. Mr. Stark is unavailable as he is currently pursuing his lifelong dream of starring in a Broadway musical. Please leave a message.”
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Stark. Mr. Stark is unavailable as he is attending a meditation workshop in the hopes of balancing his chakras and attaining a higher level of consciousness. Please leave a message.”
And then, with both of them laughing, came the final one.
“You have reached the voice mail of Tony Stark. Mr. Stark just constructed an inter-dimensional portal and went through it. The portal then exploded so I doubt Mr. Stark will ever return your call. Please leave a message.”