Chapter 8
Raw screams and Lucky's persistent barking woke Steve, bouncing off the walls and shaking him to his core. Like a shot, he ran to Bucky's room and threw the door open to find the man sitting up in bed.
His body was trembling, shiny with sweat and staring straight at the wall in front of him blankly.
"Buck…?" Steve slowly moved forward but before he could get close enough, Bucky let out another animalistic scream. It was angry and loud, sounding like it was stripped from his throat.
"Bucky wake up," he said gently, voice shaking as he tried to stay calm. "Please, wake up." Steve kneeled beside the bed, feeling just as scared as Bucky, pleading over and over until his throat was sore. Lucky whined, putting his head on his paws and curled up next to Steve.
Hearing Bucky scream and whimper at something he couldn't see or fight made Steve feel helpless. All he could do was wait for the human to wake up.
"Don't let them take me," Bucky cried, more lucid and panicked now that he snapped out of the nightmare. Looking closely though, Steve could tell that even when Bucky was awake- the nightmare wasn't over. "Don't let them take me, Steve. I can't go back. I can't do it again. I cant-"
Slowly, making sure his intent was obvious, Steve climbed up onto the bed and let himself get pulled into a crushing hug. They were both shaking, gripping each other close and rocking a little.
Steve drew small circles into Bucky's back with his finger tips, patiently waiting for Bucky's chest to stop violently heaving.
"Nothing can hurt you here," Steve whispered into the soft skin of Bucky's neck. "You're safe now."
"It felt so real," he whispered back, holding Steve to his chest as if he'd disappear. "They had me in that chair and- And I forgot. I forgot about Becca and ma and if I'd remember, they'd drag me back-"
"Oh, Buck-"
"Don't let them take me back, I don't want to forget again," and he sounded so small. So vulnerable that all Steve could do was hide his face in the crook of Bucky's neck. "I don't want to forget you."
Steve lifted his head up from Bucky's shoulder and looked him right in the eye, "They are never going to hurt you again. I promise."
He nodded, still not letting Steve go. Breathing normally now, he took in Steve's rumpled appearance- from his dorky candy cane boxers and thin shirt to his bed head.
"Sorry for waking you up, Stevie," he grabbed the blanket to cover them up. "I usually wake up before that part-"
"This is a reoccurring thing?" Steve asked, snuggling close to Bucky to stay warm. The man gave off lots of body heat and kept both arms wrapped tightly around Steve.
"Nothing you need to worry about," he shrugged and cut off any protest Steve was about to say. "Sleep here? I think I'll sleep better next to someone."
Steve snorted, letting his head drop back onto Bucky's broad shoulders with a smile, "Only if you tell me a story."
He was joking but Bucky nodded, giving him a small smile as he actually considered it. For Steve, being this close to Bucky was a gift in and of itself. Nothing gave him that same fluttery feeling in his gut and being this close to Bucky's bare chest had his heart hammering against his ribcage.
He hummed, shifting so Steve was laying against his front, "There were these two best friends in Brooklyn, New York…"
The second time he woke up, it was to Bucky's large hand pressed against his forehead. Half asleep, he sighed happily and rubbed his face against the humans rough palm.
"You never told me you were part cat," Bucky said chuckling, waving some plastic stick in front of Steve's sleep heavy eyes. "Open up, I need to check your temp."
He groaned and did as he was told, Steve had been ignoring his sudden fatigue. Chalked it up to stress and didn't think about it again but he should've realized he was getting sick.
"Yup, just like I thought. You've got a fever," he tsked as Steve groaned. "I told you to stop going out in the cold, now look at you."
Steve rolled his eyes, "You also said you weren't going to play nurse."
"We both knew I was lying," he said with a grin, leaving the room with Lucky at his feet and returning with a steaming bowl of what Steve assumed was soup. "Gotta keep you fed and hydrated."
He took the bowl with a grateful nod, relieved that Bucky wouldn't try and spoon feed him like his ma did.
"Look at you," Steve teased, blowing on his spoon of soup. "Already had soup done and everything."
Bucky put a bottle of Gatorade on the nightstand and smiled shyly, "Well, yeah. I took care of my sister when she got sick."
"Becca, right?"
"Yeah, Rebecca. Don't let her hear you call her that though," he said with a laugh and gave Lucky a pat on the head. "Back then we didn't have all these fancy cold medicines. Which one should I get for you?"
He didn't dare to dig any deeper in Bucky's past after last night, instead he ate his soup dutifully. He wished he could taste it but it was difficult to taste anything when he had no sense of smell.
"I can get it, Buck-"
"Nope," he cut off. Popping the 'p' and shaking his head. "We take care of each other and right now you're sick so let me do this?"
It was a question and Steve didn't doubt that if he asked Bucky to let him take care of himself that he would. But this was something Steve could accept his help for, after his ma died it was hellish to do it himself.
"If you don't mind…?"
"Of course not," he said, pointing at Steve's shirt. "Not trying to sound like a creep but you need to take your shirt off so I can clean you up."
Steve gripped the front of his shirt and frowned, "Clean what?"
Bucky tilted his head, "You're sweating up a storm, Stevie. I'm just gonna use a rag to wipe it off so you can rest easier. " He held both hands out and gave him an odd look. "But I don't have to? I usually only cleaned Becca's face…"
He didn't find it creepy or weird, it was actually kind of sweet that Bucky would offer to help clean his sickly self up. The problem was, he had no way of hiding the numbers on his chest.
"I um," Steve looked down at the blanket uneasily. His bony shoulders slumping as he looked to the side at Lucky.
"Nevermind, we don't have to if you're body shy," and now Steve was blushing brightly. "I shouldn't assume. I'm sorry for sticking my foot in my mouth."
He watched Bucky run both hands down his face with a long, suffering sigh.
"Don't stress it, Buck. You didn't know," he reassured him with a smile. "Not all of us have soldier fit bodies."
He rubbed the back of his neck, the tips of his ear pinked, "There ain't nothing to by shy of, doll. But I will go get you some of that cold medicine, you need to get better before the party."
Mentioning Loki and Thor's anniversary party was a sure way to have Steve groaning in frustration again. Bucky took the empty bowl out of his lap and actually reached around to fluff Steve's pillow.
"You'd really make a good nurse," Steve said with complete seriousness and Bucky chuckled.
"Ain't that lucky for you then?" He replied, booping Steve's nose and grinning wider when Steve scowled.
And it was, Steve was very lucky indeed.