Under Pressure

Breakfast was fun. They sat in the school cafeteria and ate both of them trying to fight off the lingering awkwardness with empty chatter about their upcoming finals and post graduation plans. They definitely didn’t talk about the way they’d spent the last twelve hours attached at the hip or about how much they both secretly loved it.

Then Steve had to leave for class and Bucky was left alone with his thoughts. His blonde haired, blue eyed, art dork with a dazzling grin thoughts. Sexy cuddling in bed in their underwear thoughts.  Bucky groaned heavily as he dropped his forehead onto the slightly sticky table in front of him.

“Dude that’s gross,” Clint said as he sank down across from Bucky at the table.

“Wha-” Bucky asked lifting his head.

“That table hasn’t been cleaned properly since before the great war and you just voluntarily put your face on it,” Clint said between bites of his breakfast burrito.

Bucky scowled and rubbed his hoodie sleeve against his forehead. Clint was known around campus as the human disaster so if he told you something was gross it was probably closer to toxic.

“Want some,” Clint asked nudging his plate toward Bucky.

“No thanks Barton,” Bucky said with a smile, “By the way you’ve got salsa on your chin.”

“Wanna lick it off for me?”

“In your dreams bird brain.”

Clint winked and Bucky threw a balled up napkin at his face.  

+++++++

Steve wanted to lay on the floor and die of embarrassment.

All the way to the art studio to work on his thesis, Steve replayed the events of the last 24 hours over and over again in his head.

Bucky’s smile, the warm uplift of his lips, the way his nose scrunched up and his eyes crinkling in the corners, it just stuck in his head like a song playing on repeat. Every time Steve pushed it away his mind replaced the image with reminders of just how right Bucky’s warm body had felt curled in Steve’s arms.

Then the guilt over manhandling Bucky and invading his space would rise up forcing Steve to close his eyes and shake away the memories.

And around and around it went until all he wanted to do was put his head in the pottery kiln.

“You okay man,” Sam asked breaking Steve out of his cycle.

“What,” Steve asked.

He was standing outside the Art building trying to decide if texting Bucky an apology was the right move or if pretending the whole thing never happened would work better. Sam should have been on his way to the Psychology building but instead he rose from his seat on the steps where he’d been waiting for Steve.

“I asked if you were okay,” Sam said, “I haven’t seen you think that hard since that time you lost the car after-”

“Lollapalooza,” Steve finished, “Are you ever going to let that go?”

“No I am not,” Sam said, “You had me walking around Grant Park for hours. In the dark might I add.”

“I found the car eventually,” Steve argued.

“We could’ve been stabbed Steve.”

“But we weren’t,” Steve pointed out, “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I just come see my best friend?”

“You’re supposed to be in class,” Steve said, “And we both know you’re being weird so just get on with it please.”

“Fine,” Sam said, “What’s going on with you and Barnes?”

“Who said anything is going on with me and Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Peggy. She told me she saw the two of you being and I quote ‘adorably chummy’ with one another last night at the student showcase.” Sam said using air quotes and a ridiculous accent when quoting Peggy.

“She’s exaggerating. Why were you talking to Peggy about me and Bucky,” Steve asked.

“Pegs has no reason to lie,” Sam countered, “What were you doing at the student showcase with your ex-boyfriend?”

“He’s not my ex-boyfriend,” Steve said automatically.

“Excuse me?” Sam asked.

Shit. Steve thought.

“Sam do we have  to talk about this,” Steve asked, “It’s really complicated.”

“Yes we do and I don’t care,” Sam said.

“Fine,” Steve said resigned, “But not here.”

“Works for me. I have laundry to do anyway,” Sam said.

+++++++

Bucky’s lab course was just ending when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Nat: Where are u? We need to talk.

Bucky stared down at his phone. His stomach sinking down towards his boots.

BB: In the lab u ok?

Nat: omw

The feeling of dread got worse as Bucky read his friend’s text. Natasha almost never came to the lab. She didn’t have anything against the Engineering department but as she put it ‘the potential for painful death and dismemberment in there is too high to risk it’ and honestly she wasn’t wrong. Between Tony’s experiments in body augmentation and flight and Bruce’s studies in gamma radiation, the lab was a bit of a war zone and with Natasha being a dance major, the risks to her person were rather high.

The fact that she was coming down there meant something serious had happened. Bucky felt conflicted on the one friend he hoped his friend was okay on the other hand he hoped it was something other than his personal shitstorm.

Of course it was about his personal shitstorm.

Nat arrived at the lab ten minutes later looking furious. Bucky had already cleaned up his station in anticipation of her arrival and was ready to go as soon as she stepped in the doors. Tony saw her before Bucky did however and was able to let out a long teasing ‘oooh you’re in trouble…’ before Natasha was able to sock him in the arm.

Bucky blanched upon seeing Nat’s rage face and immediately walked up to her.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“No,” she said curtly.

“What happened,” Bucky asked still feigning ignorance.

“You’ve been lying to me James,” she said softly, “for months . That’s what’s happened.”

“How did you find out,” Bucky asked.

“Does that really matter,” she countered.

“Yes,” he said.

“I went to your apartment last night and met a nice girl named Carol Danvers. She informed me that she has been living in your apartment for the last two plus months after the previous owner was evicted for nonpayment.”

“I can explain,” Bucky said desperately.

Nat didn’t say anything. She just folded her slim arms across her chest and eyed him angrily. Bucky reached forward to rest his hand on her shoulder but she twitched out of his grip easily. Bucky swallowed heavily at the sight, hurt bubbling up hot and quick behind his breastbone.

“C’mon Natalia please,” he pleaded, “I am so sorry. Please let me explain.”

After a tense moment of silence she gave him a short nod.

“Fine,” she said, “Explain.”

Bucky nodded back gratefully.

“Not here,” he said.

Without another word Nat spun on her heel and walked back out of the room leaving Bucky to scamper after her. They walked back to her apartment in tense silence. Bucky kept offering apologies and Natasha refused to look at him. The door was barely shut behind Bucky’s back when she turned her scowl on him again.  

“Well,” she demanded, “Let’s hear it.”

Bucky took a deep breath and with tears in his eyes he told her everything. Her anger remained as he talked about his family’s turmoil; the divorce, the affair and now the financial struggles. Though the more he talked, the more he thought that maybe all of her anger wasn’t directed at him.

“So that day,” she said softly, “The breakdown. It wasn’t over your breakup with Steve?”

“I never even dated Steve,” Bucky said, “that was all a cover.”

“But why James? Why lie to me ?”

“I was ashamed okay,” Bucky said, “My family was falling apart, my life was falling apart. I was broke, scared and ashamed. I didn’t want you to pity me.”

“Why would I pity you,” she asked.

“Come on Nat,” Bucky said, “Your family-”

“No one’s family is perfect,” Nat interrupted, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Not ever. Not with me.”

It was the same thing she had told him after he'd lost his arm. It was her way of telling him she loved him. He should've known she'd be there for him. She'd always been his rock, the constant source of love and support in his life and he felt like shit for having doubted her. 

Bucky couldn’t take it anymore and lurched forward letting Natasha wrap him up in her arms.

They hugged for a few moments in the middle of Natasha’s living room. She pulled away first and if Bucky didn’t know her as well as he did he wouldn't be able to tell that she had been crying. But he did know her and the signs were all there. Her green eyes were slightly red and there was a sadness lingering in the corners of her trademark smirk.

“I’m still mad at you,” she said, her voice holding far less anger than before.

“I deserve it,” Bucky said.

“So,” she said visibly pushing away the emotions, “ You faked a relationship and lost your apartment. Where have you been sleeping?”

Bucky bit back a wince. The impulse to lie was there on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed past it. No more lies. Natasha was his oldest and best friend. She deserved better.

“At the library,” he admitted.

“Are you serious,” she asked, “James.”

“It’s fine,” Bucky said, “I was careful. Nobody ever saw me.”

“That’s trespassing,” she pointed out, “You could’ve been arrested.”

“But I wasn’t. No one knew. I was like a ghost story.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and shook her head at him and his recklessness.

“Well that stops today,” she told him.

“Yeah I know,” Bucky agreed, “I finished my last shift there right before break. I’ve been lucky they haven’t called for my keycard back.”

“Lucky you aren’t up on charges or expelled,” Nat corrected, “From now on you’ll stay here with me.”

“Ew and listen to you and Clint’s nightly courting rituals? No thanks.”

“Clinton doesn’t stay the night,” Nat lied loftily, “Besides do you have a better idea?”

“Living in a van down by the river?”

“You’re an idiot. Where are your things,” she asked.

“Still at the library,” Bucky said, “I’ve kept it all in my employee locker or in the book storage.”

“We need to go get them,” she said moving towards the door.

“What right now?” Bucky asked.

“Yes,” Nat said, “Right now.”

Bucky resigned himself to doing as Natasha said especially since he was still carrying around an enormous ball of guilt for the way he’d lied to her lately.

As they made their way back outside and onto the street Bucky realized that as painful as it had been confessing to Nat he’d gotten off fairly light. She had glossed over the whole Steve thing and that was a blessing in itself.

“So how long have you been in love with Steve,” Nat asked pulling him from his thoughts.

Bucky tripped.

++++++

Steve stood outside the library trying to think of what to do.

Sam stood beside him eating a bag of Doritos and laughing.

Ever since he learned about Bucky’s string of ‘big, dumb, fat, lies and Steve’s ‘even bigger, dumb, fat, crush’ he’d been chuckling.  They were two enormous idiots who were perfect for each other as far as Sam was concerned. Now he just had to sit back and wait to see how long until they figured it out themselves.

Watching Steve fidget as he tried haphazardly to find Bucky had started of hysterical and now as Steve paced in front of the library it was just kinda sad. So Sam being the good bro he was decided to help.

“You have a cellphone,” Sam told him, licking the cheese dust from his fingertips.

“Yeah and?”

“Barnes has a phone,” Sam said slowly.

“Yeah Sam I know that. What’s your point,” Steve said annoyed.

“I don’t know Steve,” Sam said sarcastically, “Maybe you could, and this is just a wild suggestion I’m pulling out of my ass here but maybe you could try calling him?”

Steve stared at Sam for a moment the annoyed look draining slowly from his face only to be replaced by an embarrassed blush. Without a word he turned his back on his friend and pulled out his phone to try calling Bucky.

Sam shook his head and went back to chuckling.

++++++

“I’m not in love with him,” Bucky said catching up to his friend.

“Oh?” Natasha asked, “Then why were you canoodling with him last night at the student showcase?”

“I don’t canoodle.”

Nat smirked and turned her phone around flashing a picture of Bucky and Steve. They were both laughing. Bucky’s face was turned towards Steve’s and his expression revealed his crush on the other man so obviously that Bucky felt himself blushing all over again. Desperate to change the subject Bucky went on the offensive.

“You were there,” he asked pointedly.

“No of course not,” Nat scoffed, “I had rehearsal.”

“So you had one of your minions tailing me?”

She laughed delightedly and shook her head. Bucky had always teased her about her sneaky spy ways. They had a running joke that she was an operative for a shadow organization and she not so secretly loved it.

“No,” she admitted, “Clint and Scott were there. You know how Barton is, like a bloodhound for free food.”

“True,” Bucky agreed, “And that’s why you went to my house. To confront me about fooling around with an ex.”

“Exactly,” she said, “So did you?”

“What,” Bucky asked.

“Fool around with Steve. Clint said you went home with him.”

“I am going to kick birdbrain’s ass,” Bucky muttered.

“Be careful,” Nat warned, “He doesn’t miss.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“No. I didn’t fool around with Steve. He just let me crash on his couch.”

“Hmm,” Nat said cryptically, “But you wanted to.”

“Sleep on a fold out couch?”

“Sleep with him ,” she corrected.

Bucky cleared his throat and looked away his face burning. She laughed and punched his shoulder.

“So what your plan?” she asked him.

“My plan? To leave him alone.”

“Is that what he wants,” Nat asked.

“C’mon Nat of course it is. I mean he’s a really nice guy and he’s been really good about all this but I’m sure the last thing he’s thinking about is starting a relationship with the guy who’s been dragging his name through the mud these last few weeks.”

Bucky’s phone began to ring in his hoodie pocket cutting him off mid-rant.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Nat said swiping Bucky’s phone before he could get to it, “I mean he’s calling you right now for what looks to be the third time in a row. Hardly something one does when one hates someone. ”

Bucky tried to snatch his phone back but Nat was limber and quick, managing to keep it out of his reaching hands while swiping to answer.

“James Barnes’ phone. This is Natasha speaking,” she said mock professionally.

“Oh. Uhh...Hi. Is Bucky there,” Steve asked, “This is Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Hello Steve,” Nat practically purred, “I’m sorry. Bucky is on his way to the library to pick up his things. Can I take a message?”

Bucky tried tickling Nat to get his phone back but aside from a few graceful wiggles and one adorable giggle like sound she resisted.

Then she kicked his shin.

HARD.

“Oh! No that’s okay,” Steve said brightly, “I’m at the library already looking for him. I can just wait and talk to him when he gets here. Thank you though.”

“My pleasure Steve,” Nat said grinning at Bucky like a shark, “See you soon.”

“I hate you,” Bucky said when she’d hung up.

“You don’t,” she argued, “Now hurry up. It’s rude to keep Prince Charming waiting.”

++++++++

Steve spotted Bucky walking towards them across the square. A curvaceous redhead at his side. Strangely his palms felt sweaty so he wiped them on his jeans.

“Stop that,” Sam said absently, “You’re just going to talk to him. Maybe ask him out for coffee. It’s not like you’re asking him to join you on the front lines or into the jaws of death. Relax.”

“ I am relaxed,” Steve said, “I just didn’t think I’d have an audience for this. In fact you can go you know. Like anytime. How about right now? You leaving right now would be the best .”

Sam laughed.

“Oh no. I’m not going anywhere,” Sam said grinning, “Captain Awkward is gonna need my help. There’s no better reason for me to hang in.”

Steve scowled and Sam clapped him on the shoulder then squeezed reassuringly.

++++++

Bucky and Steve stared at each other while also trying to ignore the feeling of their friends watching their every move.

“Heya Buck.”

“Hi Stevie.”

Stevie? Sam mouthed. Buck Nat silently mouthed back. They mocked the two's obvious lovesick greetings to one another and then smothered laughs behind their hands.

Blushing furiously Steve ignored the peanut gallery and plowed on.

“So you’re here to get your stuff huh,” he asked, “I take it you came clean to your friends?”

“Uh yeah,” Bucky said, “And I know we’ve already hashed this out but I still feel like I should apologize about a million more times so..I’m sorry. “

“It’s okay Bucky,” Steve said, “Really. In fact I was kinda wondering and you’re totally free to say no but I was wondering if you’d like to hang out again with me sometime? Maybe get coffee or see a movie?”

Bucky grinned.

“Yeah? I mean yeah,” he said, “Definitely. I’d like that a lot.”

“Great,” Steve said, “Well, um, do you need help moving your stuff? Where are you gonna stay now? I mean, you don’t have to tell me that if you’re not comfortable. I was just thinking you know, if you haven’t found a place yet the foldout is still available.”

“Smooth Rogers. Real Smooth.” Sam muttered.

“Die in a fire,” Steve hissed over his shoulder at him.

Sam laughed.

“Well I was planning on staying at Natasha’s for a bit but having a bed, even a foldout does sound preferable to her heinous excuse for a couch. I swear that thing is trying to murder me.”

“It’s Russian. It was built for function and durability not your delicate disposition,” Nat said defensively.

“My statement stands,” Bucky said.

He turned back to Steve who looked positively adorable. His cheeks were pink making his blue eyes look even bluer and he was laughing that full body laugh that Bucky just loved.

“So yeah,” Bucky told him, “If you’re serious and if Sam doesn’t mind. I’d love to camp out on your couch. Just til I’m back on my own two feet.”

“It’s no problem,” Steve assured him, “Sam doesn’t mind a bit.”

“I don’t?”

“No because you’re moving in with your future husband in a few weeks leaving me without a roommate anyway,” Steve said.

“He told you,” Sam cried in surprise.

“No. You just did,” Steve said smiling, “Congrats man.”

“You sneaky shit,” Sam said hugging his friend, “Thanks. Now come on let’s go get Barnes’ shit.”

+++++

They were nearly done dragging in all of Bucky’s stuff when Steve went into his bedroom to get the spare linens. Bucky followed him in, surprising Steve just like he had last time he’d stayed the night. And just like that night Steve’s head filled with images of all the things he’d rather be doing with Bucky in his room besides grabbing blankets.

Bucky smiled as if he could read his mind.

“You know Stevie I was thinking,” Bucky said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, “I mean there's a good chance that sleepy Steve is going to drag me in here anyway and it worked out so well last time that I was thinking maybe I could just bunk in here with you instead of out on the sofa.”

He stepped closer to the blonde until their chests brushed gently with every breath.

“I think I’d like that,” Steve said huskily, his eyes on Bucky’s mouth.

“Good, so would I,” Bucky admitted.

He brought his hands up to frame Steve’s face and the blond leaned in closing the distance between their mouths. The kiss was warm and sweet. Just slow drags of their lips until Steve pulled back slightly to breathe and Bucky began mouthing at his jawline.

“Maybe we should test it out,” Steve offered, “Get in the bed and make sure we both fit.”

“Good plan,” Bucky said sucking a mark onto Steve’s clavicle.

They began removing their clothes quickly, jeans and shirts hitting the floor in frantic whoomps as they stripped to the skin and fell into bed.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous,” Steve groaned, tugging on Bucky’s hair to get him to bare his throat.

“Barely register next to you sweetness. Hottest thing I’ve ever seen I swear,” Bucky said.

Steve rolled onto his back and tugged Bucky to spread out on top of him. It didn’t take long for them to begin rolling their groins against one another chasing the electric bliss building between them.

“For a semi homeless guy Barnes sure has a lot of shit,” Sam complained as he entered the apartment with yet another box, “Where is he anyway?”

Natasha looked up from where she was spreading a sheet across the foldout mattress.

“He went with Steve to find some spare blankets. I think they went in Steve’s room.”

“Aw, guys, no.” Clint said coming out of the bathroom.

“What,” Sam asked.

“What do you think,” Clint said, making the ASL sign for sex with his hands then pointing towards Steve’s closed door.

“Are you serious Rogers,” Sam yelled.

“Yes! He’s hugely serious,” Bucky called back.

“Bucky shut up!” Steve cried embarrassed.

“TMI asshole!” Sam yelled.

“I don’t care! It’s the truth. Now kindly shut up so we can concentrate,” Bucky yelled.

“You know what,” Clint said, “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

“Mine too,” Sam agreed, “Let’s go get something to eat on Steve. I figure it’s the least they can do since we did all the work while they played grabass.”

He picked up his friend’s wallet and pulled out a couple twenties.

“Wait for me,” Nat said grabbing her purse, “What those two idiots do in the bedroom is their business.”

Bucky listened to their friends leave then smiled down at the sexy man beneath him who was currently nibbling on Bucky’s pecs and moaning hotly.

“Now where were we?”

Fin.