Abandoned

Heimdall had said the trip wouldn't be pleasant, but Thor had underestimated just how unpleasant. The dark energy Heimdall had conjured made Thor feel drained and slightly woozy; two sensations the thunder god wasn't used to. Plus, he now understood exactly why people didn't take the trip to Hel very often. It was dark, incredibly dreary, and far creepier than Thor had ever imagined. He'd heard stories about the river of weapons, but he hadn't thought for one moment the stories were actually real. Now that he was standing at the foot of the bridge, staring up at a giantess who was at least ten times his height, he wished he'd done a bit more research before embarking on this particular journey.

Loki was pacing back and forth in the common room, muttering various expletives he'd heard the Midgardians use when they were highly disturbed. He couldn't believe his brother had been so stupid. Actually, he could. However, he couldn't believe Stark had allowed Thor to leave the tower knowing where Thor was probably going to end up.

"So you're telling me that my strong but brainless brother is likely traveling to Hel at this very moment because he thinks I'm dead?"

“Yes, but the point is, Odin wants you dead, and the only way I can think to protect you from his unearned wrath is for you to join the team. Show him that you’re working with us, not against us.”

Loki glared at the metal man. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to throw Stark against the closest wall for allowing his brother to leave, or explain exactly how much danger Thor was in at that very moment. He decided to take a few deep breaths, even though they didn’t soothe him as Banner claimed they would, and do the latter.

“Tony, my daughter is not going to be happy to see my brother. You see, the last time she saw him, he was dragging her out of Asgard on Odin’s orders. Though the thought of him squirming in her mere presence brings me joy that I cannot express to you, I absolutely must insist that we help him. She may kill him.”

Bucky had been silent until Loki started talking about going back to Hel, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer.

“No fucking way, man. You almost died there. You’re not going back.”

 Tony glanced between the two in obvious confusion.

“What do you mean? Was she not happy to see you?”

 Loki glared at Bucky before giving Tony a look that said we are not discussing this right now .

 “Of course his daughter was happy to see him! That’s what almost killed him. He’s got two kids there. Two kids and a lost lover. He wanted to stay. In Hel , Tony,” Bucky added for emphasis.

 The scowl on Loki’s face grew darker as Tony gave him a sympathetic nod.

“I’m...sorry, Loki. That must have been difficult. I’m sure Fennie is glad to have you back, though. It didn’t take her long to realize I wasn’t the real you, even after I stole your dirty clothes.”

Fennie had crawled up in Loki’s lap the second he and Bucky arrived at the tower, and she’d been sound asleep since then. Tony attributed that to the fact that she hadn’t slept at all the entire time Loki had been gone. After she'd realized Tony wasn't Loki- even though he was wearing Loki's face- she had taken all of her frustrations out on Tony and Tony's favorite recliner. 

It took Loki a moment to realize what Tony had confessed to, but once he did, he was nothing short of horrified. The very idea of wearing his own dirty clothing was abhorrent, but the notion of Tony wearing any of his clothing was disgusting. He might have to burn everything he owned just to be sure.

“I’m sorry… what did you say? You-- wore my soiled clothing? Norns, Stark, that is…”

“Fucking repulsive, I know,” Tony muttered, “but I did it for her,” he nodded at Fennie. “She was downright pathetic.”

Loki looked at Fennie, who was sleepily purring in his lap, and he had a brand new fondness for Stark. If he'd done something so ghastly just to make her happy, then he must love her. 

"Thank you, Tony. I'm... touched," Loki murmured. 

Thor hadn't had much luck convincing the giantess to give him a break, but he did figure out how to get in without actually passing through Hel’s gates. It seemed Mjolnir was useless to him- a sad fact he hadn't been counting on, so he managed to climb what looked to be a rather tall tree before leaping over the wall.

“Well, if it isn't my long lost Uncle…”

Thor nearly jumped out of his skin as he whirled around to face the smooth, silky voice behind him.

 Hel looked quite different than she had as a child. Her hair was matted and her eyes were sunken in. She looked as if she hadn't eaten in at least ten years.

“Where's Loki? What have you done with him?” 

Thor wasn't in the mood for a family reunion or long-winded preamble. He just wanted answers. 

“What do you care? If you must know, he's here... Arranging his new home,” Hel’s cackling laugh bounced off of the walls, and she snarled at him.

New home…

“He can't stay here, Hel. You let him go right now! This place is…”

“My darling Uncle Thor, Hel is what you make it,” she purred, brushing the side of his face with her withered hand, “but if you want him to be able to leave, you’ll have to take his place. My dear father is dead.”

Never in Thor's wildest nightmares did he actually believe that Hel would want Loki dead, even if it meant he would be here with her forever. Evidently, he'd judged her far too optimistically. 

Thor had raised Mjolnir before he realised it would do him no good, and Hel simply laughed harder.

“What good is that thing to you now? What are you going to do, banish me? You may not have been completely responsible for separating me and my brothers from our father when we were young, but you didn’t help us either. You were utterly complacent, which is downright despicable considering how you walk around boasting your love for Loki. You’re a fraud .”

Thor glanced around. Everything was gray. It was as if the dust and ash from every other realm had settled there. He brushed at his chest plate angrily in an attempt to make it shine as it usually did, to no avail. The thought of spending eternity there was sickening, but the thought of Loki spending eternity there was even worse.

“Tell me what I have to do. I can’t let him stay here.”

Hel smirked, and it sent a thrill of fear down Thor's spine. 

Hel had absolutely no use for Thor. He wasn’t her primary goal. Actually, Thor was only the bait for a much larger fish. All she had to do was convince Thor to stay, and the whale would come to her. She wouldn't even have to move...

Loki didn’t know what he would tell Tony yet. In fact, until he spoke with Thor, he really had no clue what Odin was actually planning to do to him. Tony had said Odin wanted him dead, but Loki honestly didn’t understand how that sentiment was any different than it had been several days ago, or even several years ago. Odin had never shown him any kindness or regard whatsoever.

As he lay on his bed, stroking Fennie’s fur and trying to find comfort in her soft purr, he imagined what his daughter might do with Thor, but he didn’t think for a moment that she would do him any real harm. Sure, she detested Thor, but she wouldn’t actually kill him. Would she?

“Loki? Can I come in?” Bucky’s voice was quiet, and Loki was slightly shocked that he had asked permission to enter this time around.

“It’s open,” Loki muttered, unsure that he could form many more words than that.

 “I’m sorry I told Tony about what happened. I didn’t mean to- I dunno, give something away. I know how hard it is to be the guy that everyone thinks is unbreakable when you’re really the single most broken person in the room.”

 “S’alright, Buck...I would have told him eventually anyway. I just don’t want it getting back to Fenrir. He would think I didn’t want to stay here with him, and that just isn’t the case. I… I was overwhelmed by everything. Hel, my sons, my Angel… I can’t believe Narfi and Váli are there! I thought I would never lay eyes on them again. I thought they were in Valhalla...and I knew I would never be worthy.”

Bucky started to dispute Loki’s self-deprecating claim, but he stopped himself. Loki had enough to think about without also considering the status of his immortal soul.

“So what are you going to do? I told you Tony would try to recruit you!”

Bucky seemed excited that Loki had the opportunity to become part of the team, and Loki couldn’t understand why. It was an invitation born of pity and concern for his safety, not of admiration for his skills or honor.

“I’m not really a joiner, James. I’m sure you’ve realized that by now. Besides, I would be the worst Avenger ever. The second my son was in any danger, I would stop everything I was doing- including protecting a fellow teammate- to save his life. The entire world could be burning down around us, and I would save my son . I missed that opportunity the first time, and I will not be guilty of doing it again.”

Thor felt different. Not bad different. Definitely not. Actually, he felt incredibly peaceful, and he couldn’t remember exactly what he’d been so angry about just moments ago. As he looked around, he realized he must have been teleported somewhere because Hel was suddenly... nice. Not Asgard nice, but nice nonetheless. He was just about to start walking around to familiarize himself with this new place when Hel reappeared in front of him.

“You’re smiling now, darling Uncle,” she purred. Even she looked different. Beautiful and elegant, though her body was still... unique. One side of her face was definitely blue while the other was pale white.

Though Thor felt better, it didn’t take him long to remember why he was supposed to be angry.

“Where is my brother?”

Hel smirked, just as her father might have done, and poked his cheek with one long fingernail.

“How should I know? He left hours ago. He and that handsome man he referred to as ‘Bucky’ left with Sleipnir. Norns only know where they’ll end up now,” she said; her smirk growing more menacing.

Thor took one more long look around him as the truth began to sink in. Loki hadn’t been in Hel when he’d arrived. He had shown up there thinking he was going to rescue his brother, but now...now, he was dead- trapped in Hel without a prayer of leaving. 

"Alright, so let's say you don't actually join the Avengers. But what if you just helped with missions from time to time?" Bucky suggested. "They might need you. I can think of at least three that we could have easily won with your help; one of which did not go well." 

Just then, Tony appeared at the door, and Loki didn't feel comfortable discussing the situation anymore. 

"Hey, I was just thinking... maybe you should do that thing," he said, making a strange waving motion with his arms. 

Loki narrowed his eyes, not at all sure what Tony was trying to say. 

"What thing, Stark?" 

"You know... the thing," he made another odd motion.

Loki rolled his eyes, looking to Bucky for translation. Bucky drew his eyebrows together for a moment before his eyes widened in understanding. 

"Oh! Duck and cover!" Bucky made the same motion. 

Loki scowled. "Are you both having some kind of stroke? Just tell me what you're talking about this instant, or I swear..." 

Bucky leaned over and whispered in his ear, making Loki lean away uncomfortably.

"The magical shield thing. You know, so dad can't see you..." 

"Dear gods, he is not my father!" Loki bellowed, but he did as the two men were asking, silently acknowledging that it was a smart thing to do. 

Several hours later, Heimdall searched the cosmos for Loki but could not find him. Odin was standing so close to him, he could feel the All-Father's breath on his shoulder. 

"I sent Thor to retrieve him, yet he has not returned. Where is Thor? What has Loki done with my son?" 

Heimdall could feel Odin's barely contained wrath, but he did not want to tell Odin that he could not find Thor either. Heimdall rarely felt threatened by anyone, but at that moment he knew he was in a very bad situation. 

"All-father, Thor went to Hel...to find Loki...but I cannot see him."