Blind
The world was in absolute darkness and his eyes were on fire, and they hurt like hell.
Loki didn't know where he was, or how he got away, and what the hell had they done to his eyes, but he couldn't hear his captors any more, which was a good sign. But the rest of his thoughts was melting horror and barely held up scream at how much is eyes hurt. He couldn't see anything, they could be right behind and he wouldn't. He couldn't know anymore, where he was, what was around him... and the pain.
He'd try to think, to guess where he was because of the sounds or the feel of the place, but he couldn't think beyond his pains, and his red-blood eyes, consuming him. His magic wasn't working properly, too busy trying to fix his numerous wounds (the eyes were the worst, but there was so much more) and failing spectacularly, a self healing needed an amount of energy and concentration that was impossible for him in that moment.
But he couldn't... He couldn't just stay here, they would find him again, and do something worse. He thought it must have been acid, what they put in his eyes. He had felt it, slowly eating away the nerves, the soft tissue, everything. Breaking it down, corrupting. He was fairly convinced that he would not see again, and he would take that, if it meant the pain would stop. It had been hours, and his face was still on fire, his eyes were in the worst pain he'd ever felt (and boy, did he know pain) and it was near unbearable. Death was tempting.
But before he could give in to that temptation, somebody found him.
The city was on fire and nearly all of the the members of their had been taken prisoner or worse, but Steve and Natasha still held out hope that they would find clues, that maybe some of them would get free. They were the Avengers, they had many resources.
It was in the middle of a broken down street, where they spotted a familiar figure, who was in a terrifying state.
“Loki?”
Loki nearly jumped, until he recognised the voice. The Captain... or was he?
Steve knelt next to Loki, trying to assess the damage. Whoever had done this to him was a monster of the worst kind. His face was a carnage, the eyes deep red looking at nowhere (all of them, completely red) and still leaking blood, both of lips split and raw, ligature marks on his neck and many other wounds that were still bleeding, in his stomach, in his leg, just below his neck.
Loki took a step back... he couldn't trust.... why would the captain be here? Just where he was, when he needed him the most. No, they knew that he couldn't see and were using a friendly voice to lure him back.
“No...” he muttered under his breath.
“It's me, Loki! It's Steve, Steve Rogers, you know me.”
“You're not him.” Loki whispered, although deep inside he knew if it was them he would probably be already in chains and being taken back. But he didn't know. He couldn't see, the world wanted to hurt him and his eyes were on fire. It hurt too much to think.
“It is me! And Natasha, look!”
“Loki, can you see us?” Natasha asked, although she was pretty certain of what the answer was.
“I can't see anything.”
Steve sighed. Tried to control his sadness. Hadn't they been through enough?
“Loki” Natasha said “the people who did this to you...”
“They are still coming. They'll take me back. They said they weren't finished with me. I just... I couldn't endure it. But they'll come... they'll take me again.”
Natasha cocked her gun, ready to strike.
“I'll keep watch.”
“You hear that Loki, Nat's watching. You won't be taken.”
Steve got closer, trying to get a better look at Loki (they needed to stop all those bleeds before they tried to move him) but Loki shied away, his hand going to where he knew his knife should be.
“Loki, how can I make you.... wait.”
Steve carefully took Loki's shaking hand and guided it to his face.
“Touch me, feel my face. It really is me, Loki, and I am here to help you.”
And so Loki did, went around the Captain's face with his blood stained dirty hands. Steve never complained, just let him do, and hoped it would at least help calm Loki down a bit. Loki felt everything: the nose, the beard, his ridiculous eyelashes. It really seemed to be him.
“Ok?”
Loki faintly nodded. He was so tired, but still on edge. He couldn't rest with all that pain and horror overwhelming him.
“Now I am going to try and fix you up, all right? For us to move you someplace safe, we need to fix all these, or you'll bleed out.”
“...would that really be so terrible?”
“Hey! None of that with me, ok? I understand that you're in a world of pain and that not seeing anything can be scary, but you'll get better, ok? You can't give up.”
Just the uplifting words he needed. This was all a trap, it had to be.
Steve tried to move Loki's shirt remnants to see the biggest wound, but Loki shied away, blood red eyed wide with panic.
“Loki, you have to trust me.”
But the fire in his eyes hadn't stopped and his head was turning, and he couldn't goddamn see what they were doing, or if they really were who they said they were...
“You're just here because I wanted somebody to help me. You're my imagination, dream up rescue. This can't be real.”
“We're your dream rescue team?” Natasha said, from the background. “Wow, I'm blushing.”
It was the kind of dry humour she liked, but still.
The Captain took a small knife and placed it on one of Loki's hands, then placed the armed hand on his chest.
“That's where my heart is. You could kill me if you wanted to, but I let you get your hand in there because I trust you with my life. Now I need you to trust me with yours."
There was silence. Loki felt a heartbeat under his hand. Steve continued.
"Now, I know right now it may feel like it's not worth holding on, but that's just the pain talking. If you let me, we can you help get through this.”
After some silence, Loki's hand dropped, and he calmed a bit. Nobody but the Captain would do something as stupidly brave as that. What with their past, and who Loki was... Maybe he was truly safe.
“I'm sorry... I may have some trust issues. I am not a trustworthy person, and my parents, who I trusted the most, lied to me my whole my life...”
“Understandable. But I'm a trustworthy guy, aren't I, Natasha?”
“He is.”
Loki tried to breathe, to stop feeling like every touch would be a blow. He was so unused to this darkness, and his head so foggy from the pain, it was difficult.
“I will say everything I do, so that you don't get startled, ok? Now I'm going to open your shirt to look at your wound.” Steve said, careful, gentle.
They stayed like that for a while, with the Captain narrating what he was doing “now I'm going to bandage your arm”, “now I'm going to put pressure” and some occasional “sorry I'm hurting you” and “It'll be over soon”. And then they got to his eyes.
“I don't think there's much I can do, but just close them and I'll put this cloth to at least protect them from the smoke, yeah?”
It was just a piece of his shirt, that he tied with a knot on the back of Loki's head. There was something too sad about seeing him with that bandage in his eyes.
“I'm sure Tony or Shuri will find a way to help you, don't worry.”
Loki drew a sad smile.
“I'll miss the light. And the colours, most of all. I'll miss the colours.
Two tears fell down Steve's face and he was almost glad that Loki couldn't see them.
He held out his hand for the god, and helped him up.
Loki swayed but managed to start walking to the car, with Steve guiding him, being his eyes.
Loki was almost calm enough to finally sink into oblivion, pass out knowing that somebody would catch him. But there was a voice, talking to him.
“Thank you for trusting me, Loki.”
It should the other way around, Loki thought, but was too drained to mention. It was too...complicated.
“Thank you for caring enough to ask for it.”
His black world wasn't so dark now that he had a voice to guide him.
A friendly voice, in an unfriendly world.