Fated Marks

“Hales…” Clint whispered gently shaking my shoulder.

“Mhmm.” I groaned.

“Hey time to wake up, we’re about to land.” He said.

“Let’s go back to Italy.” I said making Clint chuckle.

“I wish but it’s time to face reality.” He said.

“I know.” I said with a sigh as I sat up. The plane started its descent into New York. Once we grabbed our bags from baggage claimed we took a shuttle to the parking lot, got into our car and drove home.

As much as I was not looking forward to having to deal with everything it was good to be home. We could hear Lucky barking from inside the house probably letting Nat know we were back. Clint unloaded everything before we headed inside.

“Honey we’re home.” I called out before Lucky tackled me down so I’d hug him. “Oh Did you miss me? I bet you did.”

“Don’t I get a hug?” Natasha said.

“That and more.” I answered before I kissed her. “How was the staycation?”

“Quiet, relaxing, would have been better if you were here.” She said.

“Aww… missed you too.” I said. “And we brought souvenirs.”

“Including…” Clint said pulling out two bottles of wine.

“Gimme.” Natasha said reaching out before noticing something missing on my left ring finger and giving Clint a look. He shook his head without me noticing.

“So who’s hungry?” Clint asked.

“I could go for stir fry.” I said.

“Stir fry does sound good.” Natasha said.

“I’ll get on it.” He said.

“What did I miss?” I asked Natasha.

“Nothing just a lot of TV.” Natasha said. “Oh and I watered your tomatoes. Friday wouldn’t stop reminding me.”

“When they’re ripe and you get to eat spaghetti and meatballs with fresh tomato sauce you’re not going to be complaining.” Clint said.

“Or bruschetta.” I added. “Who knew something as simple as tomato on toast could taste so good.”

“You two are so domestic.” Natasha said.

“And you love it.” I said kissing her cheek.

The Following Morning…

It was a Monday, if that wasn’t enough to make the day get off to a horrible start the fact that we were all going to have a meeting after breakfast and I was going to show them what we had found at her house in Paris definitely did it.

“Mhmm.” I groaned into my pillow.

“Uh I hate jet lag.” Clint said.

“I made breakfast.” Nat called out before pulling the blankets off the bed.

“Nat!” We whined.

“There’s coffee too.” She said.

“Is it too late to go back to Italy?” Clint said. “Hell I’d settle for Canada.”

“Donuts, Maple syrup, universal Healthcare, could be worse.” I retorted.

“You’re the ones that called a meeting.” Natasha said.

“Uh don’t remind me.” I said.

“Should have made it a dinner meeting.” Clint said.

“Too late for Tony to drive back home.” I reminded him before sitting up.

We finished eating and did a bit of gardening and unpacking. Before we knew it, it was time to go.

Tony was surprisingly early and already waiting for us in the conference room and Steve was well… not.

“Friday, tell Spangles to hurry the hell up.” Tony said.

“Before I forget… I brought you something from Florence.” I said taking out the package.

“Biscotti!” Tony cheered before kissing me. “You’re my favorite soulmate.”

“I’m your only soulmate.” I reminded him before giving him another kiss just as Steve walked in.

“Sorry, meeting ran long.” He said taking a seat. “What’s going on?”

“So before anything we need to make one thing clear. This does not change anything…” I started.

“You’re engaged!” Tony shouted out and Steve paled.

“What? No!” I said. “Why would you think that?”

“Well you went on a romantic vacation, you live together, practically married already… I mean the next step is obviously getting married or at least a shot gun wedding… wait are you…” Tony started.

“Tony.” I said trying to get him to focus.

“Cause that would be…” he started.

“Tony! No one here is having any babies, well not yet anyway.” I said. “And technically we’re all married in Asgard so…”

“Hales…” Clint said reminding me what we were all here to talk about.

“Right not the point, okay so we met up with my dad in Paris who decided to ignore me and is still digging into my mom’s past and where she’s been all these years. Turns out she’s been living in Paris this whole time. She’s obviously not there anymore but we took a small detour to her old place and looked around.” I said.

“And?” Natasha said.

“We found this.” Clint said taking out the photo and sliding it across the table so that everyone can see.

“Is that…?” Tony started.

“Alexander Pierce.” Steve said.

“Your mom…” Natasha started.

“Dragon Lady.” Clint and I corrected.

“She looks… cozy.” She finished.

“Your mo-“ Steve started and I just gave him a look. “She was involved with the head of Hydra.”

“Closely involved by the looks of it.” Tony said.

“It makes sense though, Hadrian was close to Pierce. He was her way in.” Natasha said.

“Or it could have been the other way around.” Clint said.

“Either way this just got a lot more complicated.” Steve said.

“Hydra, the gift that just keeps on giving.” I said sarcastically.

“You need to move into the compound…” Steve started.

“Wow hold on a minute…” I said.

“Your mom is Hydra.” Steve said.

“She has links to Hydra, probably made a lot of connections through them.” I said. “And you do remember you guys took out Hydra months ago, got the scepter back, Ultron made a Banksy in Strucker’s cell?”

“We got most of Hydra but there are still small cells…” Steve said.

“Cells that you all have a handle on.” I said.

“You need to take this seriously.” Steve said.

“I am, but I’m not getting carried away. I’m looking at this objectively. Her connection to Hydra was through Pierce and Hadrian. Pierce is dead and Hadrian’s head is probably mounted on the wall of some Bratva pub in Moscow.” I said.

“Then why did you even bother to tell us any of this?” Steve said.

“Because if you’d stop jumping to conclusions and looked at this with a level head you’d see you can use this to track her down and stop whatever she’s doing.” I said.

“We look for her business associates, track down money from any deals, paper trails that lead us right to her.” Natasha said. “Get one step ahead of her.”

“That’s a long shot.” Steve said.

“I’ve done more with less.” I said

“So you’re finally going to deal with this?” He said.

“No, I meant it when I said this changes nothing. You have a whole wing full of people who do this sort of thing, put them to work.” I said before opening the bag of souvenirs and taking out the book on Italian renaissance art. “Oh and I saw this and thought of you. Hope you like it.”

“That’s it?” Steve said frustrated. “And you’re all just okay with this?”

“Dragon lady hasn’t made a move in weeks.” Natasha said.

“I made the best security system I possibly could which coming from me means the best in the world, short of installing heat seeking missiles and they’re less than ten minutes away from the compound five if Barton drives. Friday can remotely deploy the iron legion from here and they’d be at the farm in under two minutes.” Tony said.

“And I also live there.” Clint said.

“I’d say it’s the H-word but I don’t want to jinx it.” I said.

“Guess that settles that. Hales what do you say we take the helicopter and fly over to the Hamptons for a few days… enjoy the sunshine, freshly caught lobster dinner…” Tony said.

“Mhmm as nice as that sounds I can’t leave for the weeks. I have an early appointment tomorrow morning.” I said emphasizing tomorrow morning.

“Aww… beach day then?” He said. “Fly you back before midnight Cinderella?”

“I’m good with that. Pretty sure after two uninterrupted weeks Clint’s getting sick of me.” I teased.

“Never.” He said kissing me. “but I should stop hogging you.”

“Okay then, Just want to say hi to everyone and give them their presents then we can head out.” I said.

“Kay.” Tony said kissing me as I walked out.

Third Person’s POV-

As soon as Hayley was out of the room…

“We have to do something, she’s not taking this seriously.” Steve said.

“Steve she’s taking all of the precautions she can.” Natasha said.

“The farm is practically Fort Knox.” Clint said.

“You don’t even lock your doors most of the time.” Steve retorted.

“Because Friday monitors anyone or anything that comes within ten feet of the property line and automatically locks all the doors if it isn’t someone on the authorized list.” Clint said. “Friday even lets us know if there’s a plane flying over us and makes sure it isn’t going to crash into us.”

Natasha just arched an eyebrow at Tony as if asking ‘Really’.

“Really some of my best work.” Tony said. “Cap hales is completely safe. She’s doing everything…”

“She’s acting like nothing wrong.” Steve said.

“Because there’s nothing wrong. Her mom hasn’t made a move in weeks and when or if she even does we’ll handle it.” Tony said.

“Am I the only one that remembers the year we spent visiting her in the hospital because she ended up in a coma after telling us everything was handled?” Steve said.

“You mean the coma your soulmate put her in?” Tony retorted.

“He was brainwashed.” Steve snapped.

“Guys, you had this fight for a whole year, give it a rest already.” Natasha said.

“Look Cap we’re taking all of the precautions and more. She’s not meeting with any  psychopaths behind our backs, she’s actually talking to us and keeping us in the loop. What more can we ask of her?” Clint said.

“She should be here with all of us where it’s safe.” Steve said.

“She’s safe at the house and that’s where she wants to be, I don’t see what the big deal is.” Tony said.

“When she isn’t at home she’s here or with one of us. She’ll be fine.” Natasha said.

“You’re really all okay with that?” Steve said in disbelief.

“Yeah.” They all said.

“Stop worrying so much old man. You know what you need? A vacation a week or two away from here to remind yourself that there’s more to life than going on missions.” Tony said. “Just say when and where and I’ll set it up.”

“I can’t just leave whenever I want Tony. I actually have responsibilities.” Steve said.

“That’s the whole point of a vacation to take a break from those responsibilities.” Tony said. “Speaking of, I should go. Don’t want to keep the missus waiting.”

“You’re not married.” Natasha said.

“We are on Asgard.” Tony said before he walked out and called over his shoulder. “And Bali.”

Hayley’s POV-

“Okay so Vision not really what you’re reading right now but in case you want a break I got you a book on Ancient roman philosophers and one on architecture.” I said handing him the books.

“The ancient romans were very ahead of their time and so many of their buildings are still standing and very intact. I’m sure these will be interesting. Thank you Hayley.” Vision said.

“Enjoy.” I said handing her a small pouch with the red blown glass necklace and matching earrings. “Wanda I got you a little something from Venice hope you like it.”

“They’re so pretty, thank you.” Wanda said with a smile.

“Sam, I got you booze and cheese for your date with… I forgot her name.” I said.

“Mandy, she’s from accounting and thanks.” He said smiling.

“Any of you guys seen Bucky?” I said noticing he was missing.

“I think he’s in the gym or his room.” Rhodey said.

“Well I’m going to pop in and say hi before I head out with Tony.” I said. “See you guys later.”

“Bye…” They all said.

Bucky wasn’t in the gym so I went looking for him in his room.

I knocked on the door and not even a second later he opened the door. He had just gotten out of the shower and if his dripping hair wasn’t enough of a giveaway the fact that we was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist was.

I couldn’t help but stare at him. I mean wow…. I’m pretty sure I drooled a bit. Why were all of my soulmates hot? I mean… he was wet and I could see all of his muscles… and the arm just… weirdly added to that hotness.

“Ehem.” Bucky cleared his throat trying to get my attention he awkwardly turned his body a bit to hide his arm.

“Hey uh… I’m about to head out but I wanted to give you your souvenirs.” I said offering him the boxes with treats and his leather jacket.

“Thanks.” He said awkwardly holding them with one hand.

“It’s a jacket… Just saw it and thought of you so. Uh yeah… I’m gonna go… bye.” I said.

“Bye.” He said quietly before closing the door.

I walked down the hall shaking my head with a goofy smile on my face.

‘Uh get it together Hayley’ I thought to myself. ‘We are not going there. We’re just friends.’

“Ma’am, Mister Stark is waiting for you in the hanger.” Friday said.

“Right, tell him I’m on my way.” I said heading over.

The Following Morning…

After a great beach day with Tony where we just hung out and talked about everything and nothing at the same time he dropped me off at home. I fell into bed next to Clint and that was it until the following morning when my alarm rang.

“Nooo.” I whined.

“Too early.” Clint nuzzling his face into the back of my neck while he pulled me closer.

“It’s too far…” I said.

“Stay.” Clint said.

“Can’t.” I said. “Have that appointment with what’s his face…”

“Mhmm.” Clint sighed.

“I’m gonna get up.” I said gently squeezing his hand before lifting his arm up so I could slip out. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek before going to get dressed. After my thermos was filled with coffee I got in the car and drove into the city. I walked into the office to check in with the receptionist and sat down waiting to be called in. To my surprise Steve actually showed up five minutes after I did. Early.

“Morning.” He said.

“Morning.” I said.

“How was the beach?” Steve asked.

“Good.” I said. “Still can’t believe Tony voluntarily chose to spend a day out of the lab.”

“He must’ve really missed you.” Steve said.

“Must’ve.” I said before I took a sip of coffee. “hit any traffic?”

“Nothing I couldn’t drive through.” He said. “Motorcycle.”

“Right.” I said.

There was another ten minutes of awkward silence before they were finally allowed into the office to start their session.

“Morning guys, Hayley hope the vacation was good.” Kevin said.

“It was great ate a ton of pasta and gelato.” I said sitting down. “How’d you guys get along without me?”

“We talked.” Steve said.

“We did.” Kevin said. “We should probably talk about how we left things before your vacation. I know Steve had some thoughts on the matter.”

“I think we all had thoughts on the matter.” I said.

“Well we spent the last couple of weeks working on healthy communication skills.” Kevin said. “So we can continue where we left off and in our last session. Hayley you said you felt smothered by Steve’s expectations for your relationship and Steve you said you felt like Hayley wasn’t going to giving you a fair chance compared to everyone else. Let’s build on that not by putting blame on one another by using I feel statements.”

“Steve why don’t you start.” Kevin said.

Steve took a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay uh Hayley I feel like you don’t put as much effort in our relationship like you do with everyone else.” Steve said.

“Steve I feel like you ignore me.” I said.

“I…” He started about to retort but Kevin cleared his throat reminding him that was not the point of all of this. “I also feel ignored.”

“I feel like I’m not a priority to you.” I continued. “Like you’d rather dodge bullets or jump out of planes without parachutes than have to spend any time with me.”

“It’s my job Hayley.” Steve said.

“It was your night off.” I said but remembered what we were trying to do. “And I understand your job is important but the whole point of being on a team is that all the responsibility isn’t just on one person.”

“I feel like you take any opportunity I have to speak to you.” Steve said.

“I feel like I’m the only one that makes an effort.” I said.

“Because you don’t give me a chance to.” Steve said.

“I feel like we’re in therapy so we can have a chance to talk and work on us and you’ve been fighting this the entire time.” I said.

“Because we wouldn’t be in therapy if you’d just listen to me to begin with.” Steve said frustrated.

“Steve…” I started.

“No, You never listen to me or you pretend to listen to me and just do whatever you feel like anyway.” Steve said.

“Is this about yesterday?” I asked.

“Of course it’s about yesterday. You said it yourself your mom…” Steve started.

“Dragon Lady.” I corrected.

“Your MOM.” He emphasized “Is dangerous she raised Hadrian.”

“And me. I know how she thinks and I’ve actually dealt with her before.” I said. “Your problem is that you’re a control freak and hate it when people don’t follow your orders.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe.” Steve said.

“The house is safe, the only reason you don’t like it is that you want to keep me locked away in the compound where its convenient for you because for some reason you hate being at the house.” I said.

“You’re so damn stubborn.” He said.

“Says the guy that’s still in denial about us needing therapy.” I said.

“If you would just do as I said…” he continued.

“I’m not a soldier Steve you can’t order me around…” I said.

“Wouldn’t be having these problems if I could…” he said as an afterthought.

“I feel like you want me to be someone I’m not.” I said. “And I’m not going to change who I am to make you happy. I think for myself. I don’t always follow the rules or do things the right way according to you but my instincts have kept me alive so far so I’m going to keep listening to them.”

“You told us you were letting us deal with her because that’s our job. Keeping you safe is our job too.” Steve said.

“I have a state of the art security system and I live with a former assassin, I’ll be okay.” I said.

“And just like that you’re ignoring me again.” Steve said.

“You mean like you ignored me when you stood me up on our date, or all the other times I’ve asked you if something was wrong?” I retorted.

“You just come and go as you please…” he said.

“It’s a free country.” I said.

“You make plans without telling any of us…” he said.

“I make plans with anyone who makes an effort to make plans with me. You don’t.” I said.

“How can I when everyone else takes up your time?” Steve said.

“I’m at the compound everyday but you hardly ever make the five minute drive to see me.” I said.

“And interrupt your happy retirement?” Steve said.

“There it is again. You’re so damn stuck on that. What do you want from me?” I said.

“I want an actual relationship.” He said.

“Then put in the work. We’ve been having the same fucking fight over and over again and we’re not getting anywhere.” I said.

“Because you don’t…” he started.

“Oh give it a rest. There’s two of us here. Our problems are between the two of us. You are just as much to blame as I am here.” I said.

“You’re ignoring me again.” Steve said.

“Cause you’re putting all the blame on me again.” I said.

“You know why I talk to Peggy so much about us? Because she actually listens to me.” He said.

“Again we’re in therapy because of you and me. I don’t talk to anyone else about our problems. And the woman has dementia half the time she has no idea who you are or what you’re talking about.” I said.

“You don’t have to….” He started again.

“Okay, looks like we’re almost out of time for today.” Kevin said. “I want to end this session by finishing off with one last I feel statement from each of you. How do you feel right know?”

“I feel… frustrated.” Steve said.

“I feel…” I said before pausing for a second. How did I feel? I was frustrated, we aren’t getting anywhere. I’m annoyed we keep having the same fight and that for some reason Steve kept bringing up Peggy. Like what the hell was up with that. I could say annoyed but that wouldn’t really get us anywhere and would probably lead to another fight so I went with… “Decaffeinated. Going to need to make a Starbucks run before I head back.”

“Alright for this week when you guys talk to each other…” Kevin started before he noticed the awkward looks. “I’m assuming you two do speak to each other outside of our sessions, I want you to speak in I feel statements.”

“Be open and honest. That’s the point of all of this to communicate how you’re really feeling to one another.” He said. “Alright, I’ll see you both next week.”

“Thanks Kev.” I said grabbing my things and heading out.

Tony was stuck in meetings all week and Will was working or having brunch with Winn which left me with nothing to do but head home…. Or…

One Hour Later…

“Ah!!!” I said throwing the Axe into the Captain America Poster on the wall.

“Miss your hour’s up.” The attendant said a bit freaked out at the mess I had made in the room.

“Really?” I said not expecting that. It hardly felt like I had done anything.

“Yes.” They said.

“Oh just one last thing.” I said taking another swing at the poster jabbing the axe in Steve’s crotch. “Now I’m good. Thanks.”

With that I took off the protective gear, made a quick stop for some coffee before I headed home.

Clint was home surprisingly. I would have thought he was going to be at the compound but no he was working out in our home gym in the basement.

“Hey you.” I said.

“Hey, didn’t think you’d be back until later?” He said.

“Tony’s stuck in meetings all day and Will’s working or with Winn.” I said. “What about you?”

“Team got called out on a mission.” Clint said. “Besides felt like being home today.”

“Wanted to check on the tomatoes huh?” I said.

“No but they’re okay.” He said. ”Though it is time to give someone a bath. It’s a two person job.”

“He is starting to stink up the place.” I said in agreement as he jumped down from the pull up bar and walked over to me before running his finger through my hair.

“You have plaster in your hair.” Clint said.

“Yeah made a quick detour.” I said. I must’ve hit that wall harder than I thought I did. “Checked out this place that does work our regimens by letting you tear down walls in old warehouses and buildings. It was fun.”

“Was that a part of therapy?” He asked.

“Nope but it was fun.” I said. “Should we shower before or after Lucky’s bath?”

“After.” Clint said Just as my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey sis.” Rebekah said.

“Hey Beks.” I answered. “What’s up?”

“Oh nothing just calling to see how the vacation went? Any news?” She asked.

“Besides the fact that Clint and I are now banned from ever riding a gondola in Venice, no.” I said.

“How do you get banned from riding a bloody gondola?” Bekah said and I could hear John laughing in the background.

“Clint decided to stand up on a moving boat in the middle of the great canal and fell off and then when he tried to get back on the he knocked me into the water. Caused a bit of a traffic jam.” I explained and she laughed.

“Wow of course that would happen to you lot.” She said.

“How’s everything at the farm? How are the kiddos?” I asked.

“They’re great, Adam wants us to get him a dog.” Bekah said.

“That could be fun.” I said.

“I already have two kids under three Hayley I don’t need another one.” She said.

“Guessing Nate started teething and is keeping you up all night?” I said.

“He also has colic.” Bekah said. “Anyways are you and Clint by chance free in about two to three weeks?”

“Uh we’re pretty free why?” I asked.

“Well the anniversary of when we first met is coming up and we thought it’d be a good time for our first family trip to visit you all?” Rebekah said.

“You’re always welcome here. We more than enough space.” I said.

“You sure you’re ready for a house full of kids and family?” He said.

“Beks I have seven soulmates, I think we can handle having you, John and the kids over for a while.” I said.

“Great to hear, we’ll be there in two and a half weeks for a week and a half.” She said.

“Looking forward to it.” I said before I heard crying in the background.

“Have to go, someone’s up from his nap, if you can call the ten minutes he was out a nap.” Rebekah said before hanging up.

“Well looks like we’re having house guests.” I said.

“It’ll be good to have them over… though we should probably babyproof a bit.” He said.

“Yeah Adam does have a tendency to climb on… everything.” I said.

“We can go to the hardware store tomorrow or the day after and get some things… maybe a high chair and one of those foldable bed things.” Clint said. “And some toys so Adam doesn’t get bored.”

“We can take him to the zoo, or the state fair.” I said.

“Oh that’d be fun.” He said.

The Following Day…

As always Wednesday’s were mine and Bucky’s farmer’s market, sweet treat, people watching adventure day, or as Nat called it even thought it wasn’t, our date day.

But as soon as I saw him he was acting weird.

According to Sam he was acting the exact same way he always did. The frenemyship was going strong.

He didn’t really say anything to me he just shrugged or gave an uncomfortable grunt. Which was weird because I normally got a shoulder shrug and a hmmm and he’d at least make eye contact.

I was in the common room catching up with Wanda and vision who was telling us about something he read in one of the books I had given him before we headed out when Steve walked in.

“Hayley.” He greeted.

“Steve.” I said.

“I feel really glad to see you.” He said. Okay he was going with the literal interpretation of our homework assignment. He was trying I had to give him that so I decided to go along with it.

“I feel really glad to see you too.” I said and it was quiet.

“I feel like it would be really nice for us to have picnic lunch together here when you get back from the farmer’s market.” He said.

“I feel like it would be a better idea to have a picnic lunch outside of the compound another day.” I said.

“I feel like I have an opening today I might not have tomorrow.” Steve continued.

“I see and hear you but I feel that I already made plans with Bucky to go to a farmer’s market that’s farther away but closer to all the orchards so that we can also visit a bakery that makes the best berry tarts in the tri county area.” I said.

“I feel like that’s an unnecessary risk to take for something you can get at any bakery.” Steve said.

“I feel like a getting away from here might do Bucky some good.” I said.

“Then go to the farmer’s market in town like you do every week.” He said.

“No we agreed to go weeks ago.” I said. “If you’re so worried why don’t you come with us.”

“I can’t I have a meeting with…” Steve started.

“Uh hi am I interrupting?” Sharon said. Wanda and Vision just turned to her and then back to us.

“No we were just finishing up.” I said smiling at her. “Bucky you ready?”

He just nodded and started walking out.

“Hayley I feel like you should listen.” Steve said.

“And I feel like you should listen too.” I said. “You sure you don’t want to come?”

“I have a job to do.” He snapped. “Can’t walk away from my responsibilities.”

“Good to know where your priorities are Cap.” I said walking out.

“Hayley I’m serious…” he started.

“So am I.” I said walking out of the common room. Bucky was already waiting for me in the garage. “Sorry about that.”

He still didn’t say anything. We got in the car and made our way to the market. It was a lot bigger than the one we normally went to and there was a lot to see. I found some of the ingredients Clint had been looking for that he couldn’t find in any grocery store. I also learned that shallots were basically smaller onions so it was also an educational trip. Bucky wasn’t as animated as he usually was. Normally he would make small talk with some of the elderly farmers ask them about how they would make them or at least give them a smile or something.

After we grabbed dessert we found a nice spot at a rest area that had a nice view of the farmland. We even saw a few cows. Bucky still wasn’t talking and I was done.

“Bucky?” I started.

“Mh.” He groaned.

“Look I can handle one soulmate refusing to actually tell me what’s really going on with him but I can’t handle two so please can you tell me what’s going on with you today?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything.

“You haven’t said anything all day. Is this about the weird conversation I had with Steve because the I feel statements were our therapists idea.” I said.

“You stared at me.” Bucky said.

“Huh?” I said confused and he refused to look at me just stared at the ground.

“Yesterday when you knocked on my door and you saw me… you stared at it.” He said.

“Oh.” I said. I did stare but I mean I’m pretty sure I didn’t see anything. “I didn’t see anything.”

“it’s hard to miss doll.” He said.

“Well I mean it was covered.” I said. “I may have seen a shadow.”

“Shadow?” Bucky said confused. “It was right there.”

“I know but it was covered.” I said.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky said even more confused.

“What are you talking about?” I said confused.

“The arm.” He said.

“Oh. That makes more sense.” I said.

“What were you talking about?” Bucky asked.

“uh… nothing just… I mean are you mad I saw the arm?” I asked.

“You were staring.” Bucky said.

“Sweetie.” I said reaching over to gently put a hand on his but he flinched and I quickly retracted. “Bucky I’m sorry I stared at you but I wasn’t staring at the arm.”

“It’s hard to miss.” He said.

“Bucky you’re a tall, extremely handsome, muscular man who answered the door completely naked except for a towel around his waist. I’m only human,” I said. “and that’s really hard to miss.”

“But…” he started again.

“Bucky you’re really hot. Like asphalt in the desert on the hottest day of summer okay? I know I shouldn’t have stared and it sounds very shallow to just focus on your looks but you’re… like yeah and the arm doesn’t take away from that it kind of adds to it.” I said.

“I run a bit warmer but I don’t see how that…” he started.

“Hot means attractive.” I clarified and he was quiet for a minute.

“Oh.” He said and we just stared out into the distance in silence for a minute. “Thanks.”

It was a minute before anyone said anything.

“Are we okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He said slowly reaching over and putting his hand over mine, giving it a feather light touch at first before letting it rest on it.

“You want to head back?” I asked.

“Not yet.” He said. “It’s nice out here.”

We stayed there for about another hour before we headed back. I took the scenic route. Mostly because Bucky was deep in thought but he had a small grin on his face. He seemed really relaxed, more than I had ever seen. Course once we were back at the compound we sat in the car for a couple of minute just listening to music.

“We should go into the city.” Bucky said.

“That could be fun.” I said.

“Make a day out of it.” He said.

“There’s a lot to do.” I said. “Just say when.”

“I need to work through some things first.” Bucky admitted.

“Take as much time as you need. Brooklyn isn’t going anywhere.” I told him and he nodded before he looked at the doorway and his smile faltered. “Thinking of making a break for it?”

“No just thinking.” He said with a far off look.

“Well mind if I walk in with you so Steve knows I brought you back in one piece?” I asked.

“I think he was worried about you too.” Bucky said.

“Was he as much of a control freak in the 40’s as he is now?” I asked Bucky.

“He used to pick fights with guys bigger than him.” Bucky said.

“So that’s a no right?” I said and he just shrugged. “Thought so.”

We got out of the car and walked back in. I didn’t realize it at the time but we were standing closer to each other now. Our hands brushed against each other as we walked a few times. As we got closer to the common room I saw Steve was still talking to Sharon and they were both laughing. He hand was on his arm.

“No I’m telling you her face looked like a tomato.” Sharon said and Steve laughed.

“Hands on her hips or crossed I can see that so clearly.” Steve said laughing not even realizing we had walked in until we stood across the counter from them. I just arched an eyebrow looking at where Sharon’s hand was before I looked up to Steve’s eyes. “Oh you’re back already.”

“It’s three in the afternoon.” I deadpanned.

“Oh gosh I must’ve lost track of time. I should really get going.” Sharon said. “I’m meeting some of the other agents for drinks later. You should stop by.”

“Well maybe.” Steve said completely ignoring the irony of that statement. “If I finish all my paperwork.

“I’m sure your paperwork can wait until tomorrow.” Sharon said.

“We’ll see.” Steve said before Sharon left.

Bucky started putting all the produce away while I unbagged everything.

“Friday can you tell Nat I’m leaving her that iced hibiscus tea she likes so much in the fridge for her.” I told Friday.

“Of course ma’am.” Friday answered.

“Thank you.” I said.

“You guys got a lot of stuff.” Steve said. “You know we get groceries delivered.”

“Yeah but this is all organic and straight from the source.” I said taking out a bunch of apples.

“Did you guys get your berry tarts?” he said looking at Bucky but all he did was nod.

“They were as good as they said they’d be. Worth the drive.” I said handing Bucky the strawberries. “Well you got us both back in one piece like I said you would so I’m going to head home now. Enjoy your drinks.”

“Uh…” Steve started.

“I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” I asked Bucky.

“Thanks Doll.” Bucky said with a small smile, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze something Steve didn’t miss. “I’ll let you know about that trip.”

“Sure thing.” I said smiling at him before I let go of his hand and walked away.

Third Person’s POV-

Steve was still in shock at the interaction he had just seen. Bucky not only smiled at Hayley and even flirted with her but he initiated physical contact.

“You guys must’ve had fun huh?” Steve said awkwardly.

Bucky didn’t say anything just nodded as he bit into a berry tart.

“You planning another trip?” Steve asked.

“Brooklyn.” Bucky said.

“Brooklyn?” Steve said surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to go there?”

“Might be good.” Bucky answered as he kept eating.

“That’s a long drive, you’re probably going to be gone for an entire day.” Steve said and Bucky nodded as he munched on his pastry.

When he was done he was quiet for a minute before finally…

“You need to be better to Hayley.” Bucky said.

“What? Did she say something?” Steve asked.

“No. She doesn’t have to.” Bucky said as he started walking away.

“Did you bring one of those tarts for me?” Steve asked.

“No.” Bucky said as he walked away.

Hayley’s POV-

I got back to the house and everything was oddly quiet. Normally Lucky would at least whine until I called out to him but all I could hear was the low sounds of the TV and soft snoring. On one couch Lucky was lying on his side while on the other Clint was lying on his side with his head on the arm rest. He was totally going to wake up sore if he kept sleeping like that.

I kneeled next to him and gently ran my fingers through his hair.

“Hmm.” Clint sighed with a smile.

“Clint, sweetie wake up.” I said as I gently nudged his shoulder.

“Mhm Hales.” He said. “What time is it?”

“Just a little after three.” I said. “Did you fall asleep watching tv?”

“Yeah. Had a bit of a headache. Must be from the jetlag.” He said.

“Probably.” I said. “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nap? Your back’s going to bother you if you keep sleeping on the couch.”

“Yeah. Nap with me?” He offered.

“I was going to do laundry.” I said.

“We can do that tomorrow.” He said.

“Okay.” I said. You didn’t have to tell me twice to procrastinate doing laundry. We headed upstairs and got into bed. Clint was on his back and I was cuddled close to his side. Moments like these always made everything seem better than they were.

Two Days Later…

I had given Steve a few days too cool off and myself while I was at it but I thought it was time to finally talk or at least try to spend some time together.

So I packed us both a lunch so I could surprise him in his office. He could work while we ate so it was a good compromise. Comfortable silence was better than tense passive aggressive silence.

“Wow, something smells good in here.” Clint said as he walked into the kitchen.

“I already left you a plate in the oven.” I said kissing Clint’s cheek.

“Awesome, so I was thinking about heading over to the hardware store to buy some babyproofing things. Apparently we’re supposed to babyproof the toilet.” Clint said.

“What for it’s not like Any of the kids go to the bathroom on their own.” I said.

“Adam does.” Clint said. “You don’t want him sticking his fingers in the water or worse.”

“Ew.” I said grossed out. “How about we go together? I’ll pick you up after I have lunch with Steve.”

“Sure. You guys going out?” He asked.

“No he’s been working a lot so I’m going to surprise him with lunch.” I said.

“Lucky him.” Clint said. “Text me when you’re on your way back?”

“Course. See you in a bit.” I said kissing him goodbye before I grabbed everything and headed to the compound.

I showed up and made my way straight to Steve’s office. It was late enough in the day he wouldn’t be overseeing any training or working out with the team and he still hadn’t started his afternoon workout so my timing was good. At least I thought it was.

His door was open so I knocked mostly out of courtesy just as I started to hear laughter.

“Knock knock.” I said.

“Hayley.” Steve said surprised to see me.

“Hey, thought you might be busy so I brought you lunch.” I said lifting the lunch bag only for me to notice the takeout from a diner in town. Then I saw the blonde agent that just always happened to be around. “Oh hi.”

“Hi...” Sharon said awkwardly. “It’s Hayley right?”

“Yeah.” I said.

“Sorry I’m just really bad with names.” She said.

“It’s alright.” I said. Not at all a bad sign that a spy was bad with names.

“Sharon stopped by and brought lunch…” Steve said looking down at a bacon cheeseburger and his fries.

“Oh.” I said. So much for that idea…

“Its from that diner Steve was telling me about the other day. Finally got around to trying it and thought he might enjoy it.” Sharon said. “Have you tried it?”

“Yeah, their oreo shakes are great.” I said. “I’ll leave you two to it then.”

“I can go.” Sharon said.

“It’s fine.” I said waving her off but giving Steve a look. He just looked completely oblivious to what was going on. “I’m sure Nat or one of the guys will love this.”

With that I walked away but not before I heard Steve laugh at something Sharon had said. I got to the conference room and saw Nat, Wanda and the guys already there.

“Hey guys.” I said.

“Hey Hayley.” They all mumbled out.

“Did you just get here?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah I was going to surprise Steve with lunch but he was already in a lunch meeting.” I said. “So if anyone wants…”

I didn’t get to tell them what was in the lunch bag before Sam, Rhodey, and Wanda had taken the bag I had set down and were already grabbing what they wanted.

“Oh score mac and cheese!” Sam said.

“Turkey pesto wrap!” Rhodey said.

“Cookies!” Wanda cheered.

“Alright then.” I said.

“Did you eat already?” Natasha asked sounding a bit concerned.

“I’m not that hungry.” I said. “I’m going to head out. Clint and I have some errands to run.”

“Thanks for lunch!” Sam said.

“No prob.” I said walking out.

Third Person’s POV-

Natasha walked down the hall towards Steve’s office. His door was open and he was working on something on his computer.

“Hey, did you contact come through with anything?” He asked.

“Not yet.” Natasha asked. “Hayley stopped by.”

“Yeah she popped in for a sec.” he said.

“Yeah she brought you lunch. Made all of your favorites.” She said.

“Did she?” Steve said still not even bothering to look at Natasha.

“You’re an idiot.” Natasha said.

“What?” Steve said finally looking up.

“You keep complaining that she won’t give you any attention or treats you differently than the rest of us but when she does try and she really is trying, you ignore her.” Natasha said.

“I didn’t know she was coming and Sharon…” He started.

“Sharon isn’t your soulmate.” Natasha deadpanned. “She came to surprise you knowing full well you probably weren’t going to stop working and she still came.”

“I tried yesterday and…” Steve started.

“You tried on the day you know she always has plans with your other soulmate.” She said. “Stop being an idiot and fix your relationship.”

With that she walked out and Steve groaned leaning back in his seat frustrated with the entire situation.

The Following Monday…

“Hayley.” Kevin greeted. “Didn’t think I’d see you today. Isn’t our appointment tomorrow?”

“It is but I thought I could use a solo session.” I said.

“Taking care of yourself. That’s good. I mean when I first met you, you the only therapy you were willing to accept was the pre-lunch rush at MacLaren’s.” he said.

“Oh trust me I was tempted but, my DD is currently happy and in a seemingly stable relationship and I live kind of far.” I said.

“Still counting that as progress.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said.

“So what exactly pushed you into coming here today?” he asked.

“Well last week we did our homework and started speaking in I feel statements.” I said. “We may have taken it a bit too literally and started every sentence with I feel until we had a disagreement and went back to arguing. Steve asked me out so I had to turn him down and when I tried to surprise him with lunch he was in a meeting with someone else. Anyway after that things were tense and he’s stressed over on thing or another because he’s a control freak but that’s his issue not mine.”

“Uhuh.” Kevin said taking notes. “And the agent he was talking to?”

“Sharon, she’s Peggy’s niece also a former shield agent that spied on him back when he was in DC.” I said.

“Oh small world.” Kevin said taking more notes. “Though I still don’t see how that led to today.”

“I’m getting to that. So things were tense and it had been a while since we…got intimate. I know what you’re going to say, you can’t use sex to avoid your problems or solve them and I wasn’t. I was trying to get him to unwind and for us to have some fun together…” I said.

“Intimacy is actually a key to determining compatibility and I was going to bring it up once we got through some of the superficial issues you two were facing.” Kevin said.

“Kev, Steve is a super soldier from the 40’s that spent seventy years on ice and I was raised by a psychopath murdering older brother and a sociopathic manipulative mother who at one point actually sold me to black market organ dealers. We’re nothing but superficial issues.” I said. “That’s not even counting any issues involving Bucky.”

“Good point.” He said. “So you two had sex…”

“Not there yet.” I said. “So I wanted to make it fun for him and went with a whole 1940’s theme. Spent hours on youtube learning to put my hair up in victory rolls. I bought freaking hot rollers to make sure I looked authentic. I found the perfect red lace chemise and heels and then hacked into Friday to make sure he would be in the compound and that I could sneak in without anyone seeing me which in a building full of spies was a lot easier than I thought it’d be. I get into his room so that I’d be there right after his afternoon workout and I set up you know lying in his bed seductively. I’m waiting there for a good half hour before he finally walks in.”

“So you did it…” he said.

“No. Then the Captain walked in after his workout sees me on his bed and all he says is ‘Oh’” I said.

“Oh? It’s understandable he was surprised.” Kevin said.

“It wasn’t a surprised ‘oh’ it was a ‘Oh its you’ oh.” I elaborated.

“Oh.” Kevin said starting to understand why I was upset.

“And he doesn’t do anything he goes to his closet and gets a fresh set of clothes says now’s not really a good time got into the bathroom and showered completely ignoring me.” I said. “So I left and most people would start to doubt themselves, self-esteem would take a hit but I work out a lot Kev, like five miles and light weights to stay toned every morning. So I know I looked amazing that day and I’m trying, like a lot so I just have to ask what am I doing wrong because I don’t know anymore. I mean what more can I possibly do?”

“You’re doing everything you can Hayley. Relationships are hard and you said it yourself you have a lot of things to work on. It takes time to see progress and you’re trying your best, you know it, I know it, I’m sure Steve knows the only thing you can do now is keep doing what you’re doing and take care of yourself too.” Kevin says. “I mean after you left the compound did you talk to anyone else about what happened or how you were feeling?”

“You’re actually the first person I told any of this to.” I admitted.

“What about Will and Natasha or Clint?” he asked.

“Will’s on top of the world right now. He’s doing amazing at work and things with that Winn guy are apparently going good and after everything I don’t want to ruin that for him by unloading on him. Also he’s been a bit hard to pin down. And as For Nat and the rest of my soulmates I like to keep boundaries. Like I don’t tell how things with one of them are going with everyone else and vice versa. Give some sense of normalcy. Plus they’re a team I don’t want to mess with that dynamic.” I said.

“So afterwards what did you do?” Kevin said.

“I went home. Chopped some wood, that really helped.” I said. “Though we’re in the middle of summer so we have a ton of wood we’re probably not going to use anytime soon.”

“You could always have a bonfire or use it for a barbeque pit.” Kevin said.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll tell Clint, I think he had a recipe for ribs he wanted to try.” I said.

“You’re doing good Hayley, I know it might not seem like it but you’ve come a long way. And I’m not just saying that because you pay me a lot of money.” Kevin said making me laugh.

“I think it evens out with all the mental and emotional trauma I’ve put you through.” I said.

“More or less.” Kevin said. “Looks like our time is up. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will.” I said. “Thanks Kev.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He said before I walked out.

It felt good to unload and actually talk about it. I felt lighter and even slightly relieved. Slightly but there was one thing that could make me feel even better.

Two Hours Later…

“Ah, you stubborn bull headed control freak!!!” I shouted and I shot a paintball gun around the Captain America rage room hitting posters, lunch boxes, piggy banks and everything with his spangly ass on it. There was some heavy metal song playing on the speakers.

“Say hello to my little friend jackass!” I said shooting up the place.

“Uh miss your time’s up again.” The attendant said through the speaker.

“I need another hour.” I said.

“Miss we need to clean up.” They said.

“I’ll pay double, now turn the music back up.” I said putting my goggles back on and reloading the gun before I shot up the place again.

Finally I was out of things to shoot and had met the maximum allowed hours, a rule they had to enforce for the first time ever and I left.

I had tired myself out and it was a long drive so I got home showered and took a nap.

Third Person’s POV-

“Where’s Hayley?” Nat said as she and Clint lounged in the common room.

“She’s in the city, said something about going shopping with Will.” Clint said.

“Uh… Will’s in his office here.” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said.

“I just saw him.” She said before Clint quickly took out his phone and called Hayley but she didn’t answer.

“She’s not picking up.” Clint said.

“I’ll run a trace.” Natasha said.

“Shit do you think her mom…” Clint started.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Natasha said.

“Who wouldn’t…” Steve started as he walked in.

“She’s at the house.” Natasha said quickly and Clint and her got up.

“What’s going on?” Steve said.

“Nothing, I’ll be back later.” She said running out alongside Clint.

Hayley’s POV-

It was a really nice nap. I would have slept longer if it weren’t for the fact that someone was really loud when they walked into the house.

“Hey.” Clint said as he walked in with Natasha behind him.

“Hey.” I said rubbing my eyes. “What’s up?”

“Oh nothing just checking in.” he said.

“How was shopping with Will?” Natasha said.

“Mh the usual.” I said.

“Really? Cause we ran into him at the compound.” Clint said.

“So you already know I didn’t go shopping with him.” I said sitting up.

“Where’d you go?” Natasha said.

“I’d rather not talk about it. I’m all talked out. And kind of sore.” I said stretching my arms.

“Hales did you… go see Dragon lady?” He asked.

“What?” I said confused about why he would even ask that.

“You snuck off and now you’re not talking.” Natasha said.

“I didn’t go see her.” I said.

“Then where were you all day?” he said running his fingers through my hair and combing out bits of blue and red ceramic bits from the Captain America memorabilia I had smashed earlier. “And what’s in your hair?”

“Krasivaya?” Nat said.

“I went to therapy and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.” I said.

“I thought that was on Tuesdays?” Clint said.

“I went for a solo session and to blow off some steam.” I said and they both looked at me concerned. “There are things I can’t talk to you guys about.”

“What things?” Natasha said.

“It wouldn’t be fair of me to say. We’ve got to have some boundaries to try and keep things fair even though I apparently still don’t.” I said kissing Natasha’s cheek before Clint and going to shower.

Tuesday Morning…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

“Uh” I groaned as I smacked my hand onto my phone to shut it off.

“Don’t go.” Clint said wrapping his arms around me.

“Don’t tempt me.” I said as Clint started kissing my neck.

“Clint….” I whined.

“Stay.” He said. “It’s too early.”

“No, I have to go.” I said.

“Then how about ten more minutes in bed.” He said.

“I’m gonna fall asleep again.” I said.

“Not if I keep you awake.” He said.

“Just ten minutes?” I asked skeptically.

“Well you’re in a rush… unless you’re okay being a bit late.” He said kissing along my collarbone and slowly moving his hands lower and lower.

So ten minutes turned into twenty… and then I had to shower which when Clint joined me turned into another ten minutes. Overall I made good time. I was only ten minutes late.

“Morning, sorry I’m late. I pressed snooze one too many times.” I said sitting down on the couch on the opposite end of Steve.

“Should’ve set an earlier alarm.” Steve said as an after thought.

“Don’t worry we were just catching up.” Kevin said. “I can see the I feel exercise helped you guys talk without fighting.”

“We didn’t fight it was just tense.” I said.

“Maybe because you were being hostile.” Steve said.

“How could you tell? you seemed busy.” I said.

“It’s kind of hard to miss.” Steve said.

“Yeah, not the only thing that’s hard to miss.” I said.

“Okay guys I’m feeling some resentment and maybe we should get that out in the open.” Kevin said giving Steve a look but he looked away and didn’t say anything. “So you planned a surprise… date on Saturday and Steve decided not to go on the date… Steve what exactly happened there?”

“I made plans with some of the agents. It’s good for morale and team building.” Steve said.

“Yet none of the rest of the team went.” I said.

“It was for the other agents on other teams, the specialists…” Steve started.

“Sharon.” I said.

“She was there too.” Steve said.

“So you passed up an opportunity to spend one on one time with your soulmate, time we could have used to bond and reconnect to eat fifty cent wings and beer can’t get you drunk.” I said.

“You turn me down all the time.” Steve said.

“So it was payback?” I said. “I already had plans with Bucky and even then I invited you to come with us. You chose not to come.”

“Then you should understand I had already made plans.” Steve said.

“You said you’d think about it.” I said.

“You never make plans to spend time with me.” Steve said.

“I turned down a date night with Tony so I could surprise you.” I said.

“Oh.” Steve said.

“You’ve got to stop saying that.” I said not even looking at him.

“Steve it’s obvious that Hayley is trying but there seems to be something holding you back.” Kevin said.

“I’m trying I really am I just… I don’t know what you want from me.” Steve said.

“I’ve been telling you for months what I want. I want us to get back to the way we were talking like actually having a conversation that doesn’t end in fighting. I want you to be happy that I’m finally safe and retired and happy and not hold it against me that we’re in different points in our life. That I’m in a place where I’m ready to settle down and you aren’t. I don’t hold it against you, I really don’t but I want to know that someday in the distant future when you finally do decide to hang up the shield you see something for us.” I said.

“I don’t want to retire.” Steve said. “One way or another that isn’t an option for me.”

“So when you’re in your eighties you plan on still being out in the field until one of your hips gives out in the middle of a fight.” I said.

“You wouldn’t understand you’ve always run away from your problems.” Steve said.

“Steve, I’m right here dealing with our problems even when you’re making it really hard for me to be.” I said.

“You don’t understand what it’s like…” he said.

“Then tell me.” I said.

“Peggy always understood, from the beginning she just…” Steve said.

I don’t know what happened next… I thought that I was calm and in control. I grew up with Hadian’s homicidal outbursts and dragon lady’s cold hearted sociopathic attempts at parenting if there was one thing I could do was stay calm in a crisis and keep my cool in a heated argument. Sure we had fought a couple of time but there was always a point of no return that I never crossed. The line that if I crossed it would probably cause irreparable damage to our relationship but he just had to keep pushing me and I finally snapped. I really really snapped.

“Fuck Peggy!” I shouted.

“Hayley!” Steve exclaimed.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass! Fuck Peggy! Fuck anyone with the last name carter! She’s nothing to our relationship. She’s a withering old woman who lived her life while your ass was frozen in the Atlantic and who you just won’t leave alone and keep using as a stupid excuse to avoid owning up to your mistakes. You’re almost a century old grow the fuck up!” I shouted. “I am here working my ass off to make this work for you and me so the least you can do is cut the bullshit and meet me half way.”

“You have no right…” Steve said.

“I have every damn right.” I said glared. “I’m doing all of this for us. I drag myself out of bed every Tuesday morning at the crack of dawn to be here with you when all you’ve done since the first day is complain and deflect and make me feel like I’m the problem. A relationship is two people. Our problems are not all on me. This is our time so for the sake of our relationship while we’re in here, Peggy doesn’t exist, she means nothing.”

“She’s not nothing Hayley.” Steve said clearly agitated.

“I get it…” I started.

“No you don’t. You never could.” He said.

“I know she represents your old life everything you left behind in the forties…” I started.

“I was in love with her, and… I still am.” Steve finally admitted.

“What?” I said not fully processing what I was hearing. “You told me she was your friend. Your good friend.”

“We started off as friends and after Bucky fell we became more. We didn’t get a lot of time but the time we did I had hope of a life after and I just… I don’t get that life.” He said.

“So you and Peggy were… romantically involved.” I said trying to compartmentalize everything I was feeling while I tried to fully comprehend what the hell Steve had just dumped on me.

“We were in love.” Steve said.

“So this entire time, the entire time we’ve been together, hell the entire time we’ve known each other you lied to me.” I said.

“I didn’t lie.” Steve said.

“Really? What do you call it when someone lies to their soulmate and tells them that their ex girlfriend who they’re apparently and knowingly still in love with is nothing but a good old friend?” I retorted. “Not once in the almost three years I’ve known you did you bring it up. Not once.”

“You lied to us too.” He said. “The entire first year we were together you lied about who you were, went behind our backs and did so many things and we never held it against you.”

“You never held it against me? You bring it up every chance you get. And that was a completely different situation. It was life and death. Hadrian had a gun to your head.” I said.

“It’s the same thing I was trying to protect you.” He said.

“You don’t get to decide that because when it comes to people your judgement and common sense are severely lacking.” I said. “Keeping secrets to keep people from reacting in a way you don’t like isn’t protection it’s called being a coward. I can’t even look at you right now.”

I got up and started walking out but Steve grasped my arm.

“Hayley…” he started but I yanked my arm out of his grasp and left him there alone.

I marched out of the office and went to my car. I sat there for a minute trying to calm down but I was pissed. No way I was ready to talk or even see anyone right now so I went to my happy place.

Two hours in the Captain America themed rage room and I was still pissed. I sat on the floor next to a box of ceramic mini caps and I threw them against the opposite wall one by one thinking how the fuck did we end up here. We were good. I mean we survived Hadrian, Hydra, a coma, Ultron and our downfall was a Steve lying about still being in love with a 90 something year old dementia patient. What the fuck?

I was half way through the box when my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey sunshine.” Tony said. “Just checking in see if you were coming by today.”

“Uh Yeah I’m kind if blowing off a bit of steam at the moment.” I said throwing another ceramic figure.

“Rage room again?” He asked.

“Yeah just cooling off. Might need another half hour though and also need to run a few errands.” I said.

“Want me to pick you up?” He asked. What he really meant was ‘have you been drinking please don’t drive’.

“No I’m okay. I’ll text you when I’m on my way, we can grab lunch or something.” I said.

“Okay,” He said. “Call if you need anything.”

“I will.” I said before hanging up. I got up and started placing the figured on a table before picking up a paintball gun and shooting each one before focusing on the poster on the wall and hitting it with a sledge hammer. Then I was done… or at least out of things to break I headed out. There were a few things the hardware store closest to the house didn’t have so I picked up the last bits of babyproofing gear before heading over to the tower.

I spent most of the day deflecting Tony wanting to know exactly what was going on by trying to keep him focused on what he had been working on or listening to him complain about how pepper and the board wanted him to do a better job of managing the Avengers side of things.. well the boring administrative things. Apparently things were a bit of a mess since everyone was in charge of their own thing and stuck to just that.

I gave him a few suggestions he would ask about. I left with enough time to get back for dinner where Clint was waiting with Nat.

“Something smells good in here.” I said as I walked in.

“I’m trying a recipe for baked rack of ribs.” He said. “We also got mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, biscuits, gravy and a salad.”

“I made the salad.” Nat said.

“He didn’t let you make anything else did he?” I asked.

“I boiled the water for the macaroni.” She said.

“Wow, full spread for just the three of us. This is nice.” I said. “What’s the occasion?”

“No reason we just knew you probably had a really long day.” Clint said.

“Long drive.” Natasha said.

“We’re not talking about therapy.” I said bluntly.

“Course not but if you did…” Clint said.

“And you know we can keep a secret. It’s our job or just mine now.” She said.

“I’m all talked out at the moment but those biscuits as calling to me.” I said reaching over to grab one. “Mhmm this is amazing.”

Nat and Clint exchange subtle looks glancing to me out of the corner of their eyes and back at each other.

“Anything else going on?” I asked.

“No I was just about to head out.” Natasha said.

“But we’re about to eat?” I asked.

“We’re having a night survival training exercise.” Natasha said. “Make sure no one’s going soft. Break in the new recruits while we’re at it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Packed you dinner.” Clint said handing Nat a lunch pack.

“Thanks.” She said before heading out.

“Did she seem weird to you?” I asked Clint.

“No she was just really looking forward to it.” Clint said.

“She was?” I asked surprised. Natasha wasn’t really the outdoorsy type.

“Yeah, getting to put the newbies through hell is one of the perks of the job.” Clint said.

“If you say so.” I said kissing his cheek. “Oh I stopped by the store and grabbed the last couple of things we need to babyproof this place.”

“Good, don’t need to worry about shelves falling down and crushing Adam when he tries to climb on anything or him sticking a fork in the electrical socket.” He said serving the plates before as I grabbed forks and knives.

I was looking through our Netflix queue trying to pick out a movie while Clint was in the kitchen looking at the ring box debating whether or not to put the ring on the plate or put it through the rib bone before realizing the barbeque sauce would make the ring dirty and sticky.

“You know this is exactly what I needed. A bunch of my favorite comfort foods, a good movie and someone to cuddle with on the couch. I just want to relax and unwind, definitely sleeping in tomorrows.” I said still looking at the screen and reading through the movie summaries.

Clint sighed and closed the ring box. It wasn’t a goodtime. Just one look at me and he could tell something was bothering me. So tonight was not the night. Instead he sat next to me and started joking around, trying to make me laugh. He even let me pick the movie and watched White Chicks for like the hundredth time because he knew it always made me laugh.

One of the many reasons I love him.

The Following Day…

Picking up where we left off the prior morning… and the night before we spent all morning in bed just being lazy and making out. We eventually did make it out of bed and had breakfast. Clint was working on putting in a loft in the barn as a man cave slash extra storage space but we all knew it was really just a man cave.

“I’ll be back later.” I told Clint. “Want me to bring you anything?

“Some berries so we can have some cobbler and ice cream?” Clint offered.

“Mhmm that did look good.” I said kissing him. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” He said before I walked out.

The compound was as busy as it always was. The common room was empty with the exception of Steve and you guessed it… Sharon.

They were talking about something and she had a hand on his arm. She was leaning towards him he looked completely comfortable.

“Ehem.” I said clearing my throat loudly.

“Hayley.” Steve said moving his arm and straightening up. “I…”

“Where’s Bucky?” I asked.

“I saw him in the gym a while ago…” he started.

“Great.” I said as I started walking out before calling out over my shoulder. “Watch the hands it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.”

I walked down the hallway and ran into Bucky just as he was coming out of his room.

“Hey, I was just coming to look for you. Ready to go?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He said. “Should we tell Steve we’re leaving?”

“He’s in a meeting.” I said gently patting his shoulder as we walked out.

We did our usual rounds and Bucky politely played along when one of the older ladies started to flirt with him. It was adorable. Finally we grabbed ice cream and went to our usual spot in the park.

We were quietly just enjoying the sunshine and people watching when Bucky surprised me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Hmm?” I asked confused.

“You’re… quiet.” He said cautiously.

“I am?” I said realizing I hadn’t really said anything. “Huh… guess I have a lot on my mind.”

“Hmm.” He said. “How’s therapy?”

I looked at Bucky confused.

“It’s… going.” I said. “You’re being really social today.”

“My therapist gave me homework.” He admitted.

“Well you’ve got admirers now.” I teased.

“I’m old enough to be their parents.” Bucky said.

“You’re looking good for a 98 year old.” I said picking at my ice cream, not really craving it at the moment. Then a thought came to me. “Hey look I know you don’t remember everything from back then but Steve was friends with Peggy Carter so I’m guessing you were too?”

“Mhmm Vaguely. I met her a couple of times but Steve worked with Her and Howards more than the rest of us did.” Bucky said.

‘Closer than you’d think buddy.’ I thought to myself.

“Why are you asking?” He said.

“No reason just something I thought of.” I said. Truth was I don’t know what I was hoping to find out. Maybe I wanted some answers or guidance or a sign telling me where we were supposed to go from here or Steve constantly comparing me to her got into my head more than I thought. Fuck when did I become this insecure?

“We should go.” Bucky said.

“Yeah.” I said throwing out my ice cream that I hardly touched.

I pulled up into the garage and parked. I wasn’t going to go in but Steve was waiting for us.

“Thanks.” Bucky said.

“Anytime.” I said smiling at Bucky as he got out.

“Hey how was the Farmer’s market?” Steve tried asking Bucky who only gave him a shrug as he passed by him making his way in. I shifted gears and was about to pull out when he started talking. “Hayley can we talk about…”

I didn’t say anything. I kept looking straight and slowly rolled up my window and sped out of there without even giving him a second look.

The next couple of days were pretty quiet. Mostly stayed home to help get everything ready for Bekah’s visit. Steve tried calling a few time but I rejected them all.

I had another session, this time via skype since it was going to be shorter. It didn’t really make me feel better. I was still jumping back and forth from being angry to being conflicted and just… numb.

Tuesday Morning…

My alarm went off and instead of shutting it off I grabbed my phone and threw it away.

“Hales?” Clint said still half asleep but waking up by the sound of the crash.

“Sh…” I said turning onto my side and running my fingers through his hair as I kissed his jaw. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mhmm.” He sighed as I put my arms around him and cuddled into him. Clint relaxed and we both fell asleep.

Meanwhile in the City…

Steve had just walked into Kevin’s office. Hayley still wasn’t there and she still wasn’t taking his calls.

“Morning… uh Hayley’s still not here. Probably running late again.” Steve said as he sat down.

“Actually we had a session yesterday and she thought it would be best if you two had individual sessions this week.” Kevin said awkwardly.

“She just decided that on her own again?” Steve said getting angry. “We’re supposed to be here together to work on us and she just…”

“Steve.” Kevin said snapping him out of his rant. “You dropped a pretty big bomb on her. She’s going to need a minute to process it.”

“She hasn’t talked to me since she stormed out of here last week.” Steve said frustrated.

“She just found out that not only did you lie to her from the beginning but that you’re in love with someone else.” Kevin said. “I think she’s going to need a little more than a week. In the meantime we should work on you and what you’re feeling.”

“I’m fine.” Steve said.

“You’re in love with your 90 year old ex girlfriend and your relationship with your soulmate is falling apart and your other soulmate came back from the dead.” Kevin said directly. “Still think you’re fine?”

Hours Later…

I woke up well rested. Clint was next to me playing with my hair. We were still in bed, relaxing and just enjoying being with each other.

“Not that I don’t like waking up next to you in the morning. Because I love that but aren’t you supposed to be in therapy right now?” Clint asked.

“We’re doing solo sessions this week.” I said gently cupping his cheek as he rested his forehead against mine.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I said. “Just working through things.”

“So you’re free all day? You up to go hiking?” Clint asked.

“There’s that spot we keep we’ve been wanting to check out, with the waterfall…” I said.

“Good weather for it.” He said.

“Let’s go after breakfast.” I said moving to get up.

“Not yet” Clint said pulling me back as he kissed my neck and nuzzled his face making me laugh as he pulled the covers over us.

One Week Later…

I spent an entire week thinking about how we were supposed to move forward from this, if there was a way to move forward from this. And I had come up with nothing.

I hadn’t seen him in two weeks. He came by the house and I sent him away, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to throw something at him. My mood was all over the place lately it was either from stress or the stupid serum was slowly making me go crazy before it killed me.

Anyway I had to face him eventually so I dragged myself out of bed and showed up to therapy.

I sat in the waiting room. Steve showed up a few minutes after I did.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey.” I said taking a sip of my coffee.

“I uh…” he started. “I called a few times.”

“Broke my phone.” I said.

“You can go in now.” The receptionist said.

“Thanks.” I said standing up and walking in.

“Morning guys.” Kevin said. “Hope you had a good week.”

Neither of us said anything.

“Well we have a lot to work through. Hayley how are you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m… processing.” I said.

“Steve?” Kevin said.

“I’m frustrated. I’ve been trying to talk to you all week and you just refuse to but when I….” he started.

“I didn’t want to see you because I didn’t trust myself not to do something I might regret later.” I said.

“And now?” Kevin said.

“I don’t know.” I said.

“Hayley I didn’t mean to hurt you…” Steve started.

“Stop.” I said. “Just stop… I don’t want anymore excuses from you.”

“I’m trying to explain.” Steve said.

“Explain what? That you thought lying to me was a good way to start our relationship or the fact that you’re in love with someone else?” I said.

“So are you and I don’t hold it against you.” Steve said.

“I’m in love with my soulmates and you understood that was the deal from the very beginning and honestly out of everyone I thought you’d understand. You have two soulmates.” I said.

“I met Peggy when I thought I didn’t have anyone.” He said.

“Stop fucking bringing her up.” I said. “I spent this entire week trying to figure out where we go from here or if there’s even anywhere else to go from here.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Steve said.

“You’re in love with another woman. All of our problems start from there and instead of owning up to them you kept trying to pin this all on me. You would rather get shot at than talk to me. You can talk to everyone but me.” I started tearing up.

“How can I tell you anything when you won’t listen?!” he shouted in frustration.

“You don’t even try to talk to me.” I said. “You chicken out or deflect or just make excuses and blame it on someone else.”

“I’m told you how I felt and you ignored me.” Steve said.

“Because you keep comparing me to her and no matter how much I try to make us work I can never live up to the idea of what you think you could have had with her. For a while there you had me doubting myself, and I’m not that girl. I’m not perfect but I know my worth and I know I deserve better than this.” I said. “I can’t keep going in circles with you because while I admit there are some things I need to work on, I’m not the problem here. I need a break.”

“I agree therapy isn’t getting us anywhere, I think if we took some time to just be us…” Steve said.

“No Steve I need a break… from you.” I said.

“Y-you want to break up?” Steve said in shock.

“This isn’t working, we don’t work. There’s no point in me being here trying to fix us when you obviously don’t want try” I said. “You need to sort yourself out because it’s not my job to fix you.”

With that I got up and started leaving.

“So that’s it? You’re just giving up on us?” Steve said.

“You already did.” I said before slamming the door closed and walking away feeling lighter than I’d felt in months.