"All right, what's up?"
Skye looked around the common area of the Bus. Normally, there weren't this many people waiting for AC...err..Agent Coulson...to come back from a mission.
Then again, to the best of her recollection, AC hadn't ever been sent off on a solo mission before.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Skye." retorted Jemma, idly checking her laptop, Fitz at her shoulder.
Grant snickered. "Don't play innocent, Simmons. You're here just like the rest of us..."
May huffed and continued mixing her drink.
"Could someone clue me in?" Skye tried again.
Grant chuckled. "It seemed that an old contact of Coulson's was ready to switch sides, turn herself into SHIELD. But she wanted Coulson to hammer out the final details."
Skye rubbed at her chin. "But isn't Coulson dead to the rest of the world?"
"Fury figured that was the point," May added. "A way to wiggle free. So..."
"So Coulson went. Got it. But why is everyone waiting?"
Grant continued, "It seemed that the last time Coulson and this contact touched base, Coulson got the intel out by...ensuring...she was asleep, and then stealing all her clothes to get a head start."
"They were in Northern Sweden at the time. In December." Fitz's eyes gleamed. "It's a SHIELD legend, pictures on the Intranet circulated for weeks..."
May tossed him a glance. "You weren't in the Academy at the time, were you?"
Simmons' eyes narrowed. Fitz flushed.
"Or so I heard..."
"Anyways, the terms that Coulson had to show up under were..."
"Please, please, don't say in the nude, Ward...that's a mental picture I don't need..." groaned Skye.
"Believe me, Skye, when I tell you I don't need you to have that image either." came Coulson's dry voice from the doorway.
The team looked around, and Skye let out a laugh. Ward was outright smirking, the scientists were hiding their smiles behind their hands, and even May's mouth had turned up slightly at the corners.
Phil Coulson glanced around the room, mentally cataloguing the responses, Skye was sure, for the next round of performance reviews. It was worth it, though.
AC looked as comfortable in the little powerblue outfit as he did in his normal tailored suits. The peakaboo slit in the tunic just captured the top of a scar, and the mini-skirt rode way too high up his legs as he strode across to the bar. The stewardess's hat completed the ensemble, and it seemed that he had discarded the shoes at the earliest possibility.
"Nice legs, AC," chortled Skye.
Coulson didn't even toss her a glance, as he took the glass May set down in front of him.
"In SHIELD, we have to step outside our comfort zones for the good of the mission on an ongoing basis. I'm sure your SO will remind you tomorrow morning that it's not overly wise to comment on Agents with higher clearances than you."
"On it boss," said Ward behind her. Skye could just see the hours of burpees in front of her, and winced.
Coulson tossed down the glass's contents and shared a pained look with May.
"Leave cancelled?"
"Thinking about it..."
The murmurs behind him abruptly stopped. Coulson turned to face his younger Agents.
"To reiterate, Skye, and the rest of you, there are times when you do what you have to do for the mission. So, yes, I wore this to the dive bar that Melissandra picked out. Yes, I convinced her to come in. Yes, I fought our way out of that bar in this outfit when damned HYDRA showed up to make sure that didn't happen. And whatever else happened is none of your business. "
He paused.
"But, in the end, we have a new asset..." Grant snorted. Coulson glared at him. "Who has information vital to our interests in Europe. And she's fairly grateful to SHIELD to be alive."
Coulson headed off towards his quarters, but, at the last moment, he turned and looked them all in the eye, and fired off his last comment before hitting the showers.
"In short, Agents, I made the damn sell in dis dress."
The disbelieving groans followed Coulson down the hall.
He smiled. May owed him $20.