Tony curls into Sam’s chest and he wraps his arm tighter around his waist. Making friends with Rhodey while they bonded over how much they both god damn hated their superior at the time was probably the best decision of his life thanks to it leading to meeting the infamous Tony Stark. Sam heard all the rumors and all of that but Rhodey insisted none of them were true. Within five seconds of knowing Tony Sam knew Rhodey was a damn dirty liar, Tony was everything the media said he was, the problem was that they left out all the other things he was too. First he was sweet and caring and had a thing for nicknames- Rhodey had several that thankfully had not extended to Sam. Second, he might be an impulsive ass about ninety percent of the time but the media had no idea how fun that was to deal with. And third, his sex life was ridiculously exaggerated and Tony liked to play it up for his own amusement.
He would have thought that he’d hate Tony Stark but within a matter of hours he decided that he liked the man, and within two weeks he decided that maybe all those stupid romance movies weren’t lying about people being able to fall in love that short of a time frame. He didn’t admit that to himself for a more reasonable eight months though, just to prove those stupid movies wrong.
Riley had warned him off more than once, telling him he was going to get his heart broken but Sam kept in contact with Tony anyways. It wasn’t that Riley didn’t make good points or that Sam didn’t trust his opinion, it was that he sensed something about Tony that no one else seemed to. Actually no, Pepper and Rhodey sensed it just fine but no one else seemed willing to look past Tony’s near offensive arrogant exterior to notice it was all an act to find a pretty nerdy guy actually. Sam found that attractive mostly because Riley didn’t like most of the same things he did and try as he might he couldn’t even begin to keep up with Sam’s intelligence. Tony kept up just fine and they liked to talk about other scientist’s work frequently. Tony talked about his inventions, Sam talked about top-secret military things he wasn’t supposed to talk about but did anyways, and they got along great.
Even with all that it still threw him for a loop when Tony asked him out on an actual date, looking all nervous and adorable as he did it. Rhodey, who had apparently been hiding around the corner, let out an embarrassing squeal and an ‘awww’ that Sam had footage of in case he ever needed to blackmail the man. Tony had not been impressed with the whole thing but Sam agreed to go out with him and he had seemed a little less upset after that.
“What are you thinking about?” Tony mumbles into his chest.
Sam smiles and presses a kiss to the top of his head, “the first time you asked me out,” he says and Tony groans.
“Oh my god, can we never think about that ever again? This is why I stuck to one night stands for most of my life- they’re way less embarrassing,” he says. “Want some nachos? I’m feeling like nachos,” Tony says and he’s off and out of bed to go do his thing. Tony, Sam has learned, was pretty much a nonstop ball of energy when he was awake.
*
Sam sits back as Bucky and Steve argue for a few minutes before he turns to Natasha. “What are they arguing about? They look pretty into it,” Sam says, looking at the two arguing outside. They didn’t tend to argue all that much but whatever they were into it was heated at the moment.
“They’re arguing about what Tony Stark is like in bed. Bucky thinks he’s kinky, Steve thinks he’s secretly romantic,” Natasha says and Sam frowns.
“Are you being serious right now?” he asks. There was no god damn way they were arguing about what Tony was like in bed with enough ferocity that they were currently drawing attention from people outside.
“I’m being dead serious, Sam,” Natasha tells him with her Serious FaceTM on.
He looks back out the window at his friends wildly gesturing around and then looks back at Natasha. “Okay this is ridiculous, what are they actually arguing about?” he asks. Maybe Steve wanted kids and Bucky didn’t, that made sense. Steve adjusted to his PTSD way better than Bucky hasn’t and that would actually call for real anger and am flailing.
“They’re arguing about Stark, I told you,” Natasha says.
Sam rolls his eyes, “well he’s both, I don’t know why they seem to think it’s one of the other. I mean if I knew. I’m just guessing,” he says, remembering that technically no one knew about their relationship. Tony had wanted to come out with it over a year ago when Sam left the military but then Obadiah Stane tried to kill him and his company has been in the process of some heavy changes.
Sam was happy to let it slide because Tony had way more important things to worry about than how America and beyond was going to react to him dating Sam. And if he as honest he wasn’t looking forward to the backlash himself. There was bound to be plenty of good reactions Sam knew, but the bad reactions were always louder. People might be more accepting of race and they might be more accepting of LGBT+ rights, but they weren’t nearly as accepting when those things mixed. And neither he nor Tony were gay, they were both bisexual and the years he was going to have to spend explaining that dating a man didn’t magically make him only attracted to men already sounded tiring.
So he left well enough alone and kept his relationship to himself within his friend group too. He didn’t know how tony felt about his friends knowing and even though Tony’s friends knew he had to consider that Tony only had three of them. Sam had a way wider friend group than that and Clint had a big mouth, and so did Natasha for that matter. Sure she knew when to keep a secret but she also liked gossip more than any normal person had a right to.
And, true to her form, Natasha leans forward. “So you’re saying you know what Tony Stark is like in bed, then?” she asks, grinning wide and leaning forward.
“Oh my god, no, I’m just saying the guy can be both kinky and romantic at the same time. Tell Steve and Bucky to stop arguing about it, it’s weird and a little unsettling,” he says, looking back at his friends arguing outside.
Natasha gives an exaggerated nod, “sure Wilson, sure.”
*
“You better have something useful because standing outside yelling about how we were supposed to be in a heated argument about Tony Stark’s sex life was uncomfortable and bizarre. If we attracted stupid amounts of attention for nothing know I will be very upset,” Bucky tells Natasha, looping an arm around Steve as he presses into Bucky’s side. They didn’t fight… well ever honestly so this was an uncomfortable experience for them both.
Steve had wondered if Sam would be able to determine that they weren’t actually arguing about Tony’s sex habits through the window of the restaurant they were outside of but Clint informed them that lip reading was actually really hard and there was no way he’d know even if he was paying close attention. The benefits of having a deaf friend, Bucky supposed, though they all learned that apparently he couldn’t read lips and didn’t know what the fuck they were saying unless he had his hearing aids in or they were using sign. The good news was that Sam was clueless too so they could continue on with their investigative journalism without worry that Sam would catch on.
Natasha grins, “guys, he all but admitted that he and Stark have at the very least slept together. Apparently he’s kinky and romantic,” she says, her face bright like she’s delivered the news of a new Messiah of something.
Bucky sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “he didn’t even admit that they were together? What the hell, Nat?” She was supposed to get him to admit that they were together, they all knew about it anyways. Sam wasn’t exactly subtle about his relationship or his constant defense of Tony and his actions that Sam knew way too much about. Obviously he had a personal relationship with the guy. Bucky traced him back to some time spent overseas stationed at the same base as one James Rhodes, which was obviously where he and Stark met, and Natasha was supposed to prove their wild conspiracy theory about their friend dating a celebrity. Except all she proved was that they had a one night stand probably, which was total bullshit because Bucky put in a lot of work to prove this crazy theory. They were all super excited to learn that they knew a person that was dating a celebrity but no, Natasha had to bust their hopes and act like they should be excited about it.
“You two lack imagination, oh my god. Have you two gotten so used to fucking each other that you forgot that there’s no romance in one night stands? Obviously this is an ongoing- Steve, why are you making that face?” she asks, hands on her hips as Steve’s face turns a bright shade of scarlet. Bucky thought it was adorable but Steve looked betrayed by his body’s reaction.
“He hasn’t slept with anyone but me. And excuse you, I’ve romanced my one night stands,” Bucky says, taking offense to her comment.
Natasha rolls her eyes, “being nice until you can stick your dick in them doesn’t count as romancing, Barnes. And Steve- please go fuck someone else, play the field. I promise you Bucky isn’t so good that settling with him is what you want to do,” she says.
Bucky opens his mouth to let Natasha know how offended he was but he ends up closing it because he has no words. “I think I’m just fine, thanks,” Steve says primly and Bucky huffs out a satisfied noise before deflating a little.
Natasha shrugs, “fine, if you ever consider threeesomes I’d highly recommend asking Phil. He’s more adventurous than he looks and he’s very flexible. Anyways, so we all but have a confirmation of Sam and Stark dating. But why haven’t they come out with it? Stark is shameless, I doubt he’d care about being bisexual and he’s been friends with Rhodey since he was ten so I doubt this isn’t a weird case of racism. Ideas?” she asks, looking between the two.
Steve looks pinched an annoyed, “well now that Natasha has stuck her nose into my sex life I think we should just leave them alone because caring about it is weird. And they obviously haven’t told anyone because Tony almost died last year thanks to his business partner and he’s been revamping the company. That takes time, he’s got better things to worry about than his relationship being public.”
Bucky laughs because of course Steve would say ‘leave it alone’ and then spit out a totally plausible if not probably theory on why they weren’t out with it. “That sounds right. But there’s no way Stark’s friends don’t know so why keep it from us?” he asks, looking down at Steve, who shrugs and makes an ‘I don’t know’ sound. He looks up at Natasha, who squints off into the distance.
“Betrayal,” she whispers dramatically and Bucky rolls his eyes, deciding he’s gotten as much use out of Natasha as she would allow.
*
Sam walks into his apartment to find Phil perched at his table with the kitchen light on over head and his hands folded in front of him. He has a pleasant smile on his face and Bucky lingers in the background with his arms folded across his chest. He frowns because this was the way they typically arranged themselves in an interrogation room, right down to Bucky looking intimidating with a metal arm in the corner. No one knew that it was basically for aesthetics, it just looked impressive and Bucky had a number of other odd arm designs like it.
He had, according to him, spent too long being ashamed of his arm and he was done with that so now he decided to swing to the other side of the pendulum and drew attention to it purposefully. Sam’s favorite reactions to this were from children, who always asked what happened to the horror of their parents. Bucky’s favorite reaction to date was the time he told some poor little girl it just fell off one day because he didn’t eat his vegetables. His response was different every time but that one was genius.
It didn’t explain why he was in his living room with his Intimidating ArmTM when he knew Sam knew it was all bullshit. If he wanted to be a dick he could just go pry it off Bucky’s body not that he’d consider doing that. Actually he totally would, he’d just wait until Bucky was drunk and then he’d stick it in a high shelf and watch Bucky cry about it- literally. He was a weepy drunk and everyone but Steve liked to take advantage of it. Putting the arm up high just meant Steve wouldn’t reach it seems how he was approximately three feet tall. He would have shared his plans with Phil but he was too busy looking at Sam like he was about to try and pry information out of him.
“If this is an intervention I’m not an alcoholic, I’m not on drugs, I’m not addicted to porn or video games, you will have to pry my addiction to Toddlers in Tiaras out of my cold, dead hands, and I am not telling you anything about any of my bonding activities with Riley,” he tells them.
Phil narrows his eyes a little as Bucky tries to cover his laugh with a cough. “Tell us about your relationship with Tony Stark,” he says in his Interrogation Voice.
Sam rolls his eyes, “Phil, I’ve seen you play all your tricks, they aren’t going to work on me,’ he tells him.
Phil leans forward, “so you’re not denying you have a relationship with Tony Stark?” he asks.
“Sure I do, me and most of the damn world. Who hasn’t read at least one headline about the guy and formed an opinion? Do you guys want Riley’s grape juice? He keeps leaving it in my fridge and you both know my opinion on grapes,” he says.
“Yeah, sure,” Bucky says, earning an annoyed look from Phil. “What?” he asks.
“You just ruined the whole mood of this thing, I can’t recover from that. Don’t accept grape juice from the people we’re interrogating,” Phil tells him. “And also I wouldn’t mind some either.”
*
Sam watches his phone continue to buzz but he ignores it as he reads over one of Tony’s new papers for some science journal. “Are you going to answer that?” Tony asks, frowning at his buzzing phone.
He looks up at it as it buzzes for the fifth time in a matter of seconds. “Nope. It’s probably all my friends thinking that they can annoy me into telling them that we’re together,” he says as he continues reading over Tony’s discovering a new element. Well, discovering was a loose term- he straight up made the element. That was more than a little impressive and surprisingly sexy.
Tony frowns, “you haven’t told your friends we’re dating?” Tony asks.
He looks surprised at this and Sam’s brows draw together, “well no, you didn’t say I could and I figured… Well I mean you’re a celebrity, people act like knowledge of you life should be public record and I didn’t want to say something about us dating before you were ready for me to say something. Sounds too much like what media outlets do to you all the time for me to be comfortable with it,” he says. “That and my friends are being annoying at the moment so they can suffer and not know.”
Tony looks at him for a long moment before smiling wide, his eyes crinkling at the corners a little. “This is why I love you, you know,” he says. Sam wouldn’t have thought much of it if Tony didn’t immediately make a ‘what the hell did I just say’ face while his eyes tripled in size, clearly indicating he was serious about that previous statement.
Sam smiles, “I love you too Tony. And this paper is good; I can’t believe you managed to work in five insults to Justin Hammer in a paper that honestly has nothing to do with him. I aspire to reach your level of petty,” he says and Tony laughs, relaxing a little. Sam knew he wasn’t much of a relationship type of guy and most of the time it showed so he figured the small change in subject would make him more comfortable. Obviously he was right.
“Thanks. Man I hate Justin Hammer. His face makes me want to punch things and I can’t even remember why now, I’m just angry he exists. Anyways seems how your friends are annoying you about us you know what would really piss them off? Telling the media before them. Serves them right for being nosey,” Tony says in a singsong voice.
Sam throws his head back and laughs, “see and this is why I love you, you’ve always got something petty up your sleeve. By the way there was an actual argument that took place about whether or not you were romantic or kinky in bed. People were staring,” Sam says and Tony frowns.
“What?”
“Me too man, I said that they weren’t mutually exclusive and then Natasha decided that was me admitting to something, which was totally not true. So I definitely think that they’ve earned finding out that we’re dating when Fox New inevitably whines about it,” Sam says.
Tony grins and jumps up, “ have like five statements prepared for any idiot who says something stupid, what to hear them? Rhodey helped me draft them,” he says and Sam nods immediately because the only one more salty than Tony about people sticking their noses where they didn’t belong was Rhodey. This was bound to be good.