Psychology be Damned
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#2: A Little Personal Space Invasion Ain’t so Bad
#3: Trouble is you
#4: Chace Crawford
#5
Chris Evans wasn’t a difficult person to drag out of his office or bed but if given a choice, he would rather catch up on much-needed sleep and rest than go out and socialize these days.
This year however, the young CEO of Christopher’s Haven Hospital for Children found himself standing in front of the open doors of his closet, about to pick out an outfit to go to his friend’s New Year’s countdown party later in the same evening. Not only that, he was going to have a date for it - thanks to Sebastian, of course.
According to the photographer, he recently got to know someone who would be great for Chris to get to know. Her name was Hayley Atwell, she was from England, residing in Bel Air and she was a model.
“You got a model to be interested in me. A model. Are you for real?”
“Yes and she’s very, very excited to meet you.”
Most guys would jump at the chance but the blonde wasn’t sure if anyone from the crazy fun world of entertainment and fashion industry would be want to be in the same room with someone like him. He wasn’t door knob boring or anything but something about it felt a lot like mixing oil and water.
He had questions. “What did you tell her about me?”
Sebastian’s lopsided smile had a little playfulness to it. “Only the good stuff.”
Unfortunately, he was neither stupid nor self-involved in any way but “you showed her that picture of me, didn’t you? The one when I was just in my towel.”
The other man bit the inside of his cheeks. Caught. “Well…”
Okay, so he was feeling his hard-earned abs way too much that night. The lighting was great for a shot but “that was supposed to be private and you said you’d delete it from your phone.”
“You know what? Until today, I still can’t place the word “awkwardly shy” with that face and body of yours,” he stated, as-a-matter-of-factly and everything in his opinion of the matter.
“So she liked what she saw.”
“Yeah. And so much for the good stuff ,” Chris scoffed. “Can I give it a miss? I’ve other plans, actually.”
“Really? You’re only telling me that now.” Sebastian folded his arms and cocked his head to one side, disbelieving. “Okay. What are they? Does it have to do with sitting behind Mount Paperwork?”
Mount Paperwork, the Hell but lying was not his forte, even if he paid himself to. “Er…”
His housemate was done. “Malibu Pier, five ‘o’ clock. We’re walking over to Chace’s place from there. He’s got this little bonfire party going on at his Amarillo home and there’ll be games and dancing and whatever until the countdown begins. Okay?”
He was 35-years-old but he was going to goddamn whine if he wanted to. “Why are you so persistent ? Doesn’t mean you’ve started dating again, I’ve to meet someone and do that too.”
“Oh, au contraire , mon frère! You totally do.”
Sebastian’s snort was so majestic, it almost offended Chris on a very personal scale.
“Come on, man. She’s gorgeous and not a total airhead - she’s smart. Like, really smart,” he then went, smart to coax the blonde into the idea before Chris could completely flip it out the window.
“Okay! Hayley’s like, the female version of you - almost. It’ll be fun if not interesting. Don’t overthink it, it’s just a date. I mean when was the last time you went on one anyway?”
He wasn’t sure if meeting another version of himself was a great idea too but it was going to be what it was: after four whole years of being single and making work = life > everything else, he was going to a party with a hot stranger because his housemate said he totally should.
“What are you? The dating prophet now?”
Bounced off the other man like nothing, of course. “Yes, yes I am. So do me a favour and don’t overthink things - just come as the hot stuff that you are and all will be well.”
“Hot stuff?” The blonde grinned, feeling sheepish by it. “Did she call me that or was that you?”
“Christopher Evans!” His housemate groaned, rolling his eyes hard like so damn done . “Do not overthink. Okay?”
Fine, then.
Let’s get this party started.
The New Year’s eve celebration at the infamous beach was already drawing large number of party-goers onto its shoreline even before the sun had begun to set. Chris was so glad that he managed to work up a pump at the gym earlier in the day because it was definitely screaming ‘battle of the beach bods’ where he was at - Malibu is serious sexy business like that. Those who come to play at this side of LA is always ready to slay and that evening was no different.
He was quick to spot Chace at the entrance of the Pier, standing next to a makeshift stall that was selling beverages and ice cones, his arm linked with a woman’s, laughing at something she just said into his ear. Thick, chestnut brown hair, smiling eyes, brilliant smile, snow white skin - Hayley Atwell was, as described by yours truly, drop dead gorgeous.
But there was one serious problem - he couldn’t keep his attention on her.
Instead, Chris’ focus was drawn to a pair of very blue eyes that came into the viewfinder of his sight from seemingly out of nowhere, only to stand out like gleaming sapphires among the sea of interchangeable faces. They caught him swimming through the crowd and all of a sudden, time slowed down. Chris felt himself moving without really taking any steps, as if the ground beneath his feet had shifted to the sensation that fluttered in his stomach.
The first word that came to his mind was wow.
They exchanged smiles and just like that, everything else around Chris was reduced into a colorful, moving blur. Once again, he was struck with awe - and it was at that very moment that Chris Evans had to question himself whether he’d really lost a screw somewhere for thinking that Sebastian Stan was the most beautiful person in the entire place right then, bar none.
Why is this happening again?
The Universe had a lousy way of putting him in some kind of lapse in its time because he didn’t get to process what just hit him. Sebastian was suddenly standing before him, drink in one hand and waving the other in front of his face with, “Hello?”
Maybe he was imagining it but he was standing a little too close for comfort. The brown-haired man was practically leaning against his chest and looking up at him like Chris was a whole foot taller (an inch did make a lot of difference) with those eyes. So freaking blue, they were surreal. Practically magical, Hell.
The CEO couldn’t respond, it was motherfucking strange. When he finally did, Chris felt like he was crashing back to Earth at breakneck speed, only to mess up in his landing by squeaking out a very embarrassing, very choked-up, “oh. Hey. Hi, Seb!”
Oh my God. What the Hell, seriously. What the Hell?
“Hi,” the photographer went, appearing to be a little confused with something. “Are you okay, man?”
Because the music was too loud, the distance between the two of them had to shrink to enable optimum communication. That was what logic told Chris. Nevertheless, a forming knot in his throat was threatening the (slightly) older man into further speechlessness. Chris was quick to snap out of it this time, thankfully.
Overlooked the fact that he sounded like a goddamn dolphin, too. “I’m good! So sorry I’m late.”
Maybe Sebastian noticed. Maybe he didn’t. He didn’t tease him about it and instead said, “no kidding. We’ve been waiting for you since yesterday! Did you get my texts?”
Yesterday, Christ. He chuckled at the over dramatisation of his lateness. “I did. I was driving.”
He could have taken a step back had he felt weirded out by the severe lack of distance between them but he honestly wasn’t, so he didn’t. They’d been housemates for almost a year and personal boundaries were crossed many, many times - space invasion was normal.
The only thing that was starting to get to Chris was Sebastian smelling like woody-vanilla and lime and tequila and so fucking good .
Come to think of it, he’d always smelled so fucking good. “Parking was Hell, should’ve Uber-ed down instead. And then this crowd! Crazy.”
“Yeah but you smiled right at me,” Sebastian went, questioning that with a brow raised. “And then you sort of spaced out. I waved and you just stared like you didn’t see me or something. It was very weird.”
Yeah, it goddamn was. “Well, you’ve this new haircut and everything - I had to do a double take. You look totally different, I almost couldn’t recognise you earlier.”
What do you know? You just told a lie with a straight face, Evans. Achievement unlocked!
“Really?” His housemate was suddenly smug as Hell. “I loved it so much but it was a bitch to care for over time so…” He made a chopping action in the air with his hand. “...Off it goes.”
It was an image straight out of a magazine: Sebastian had traded his shampoo advertisement worthy long hair for a sleek, medium pompadour with a sexy undercut to boot. He coupled it with a neat, light stubble on his perfectly crafted jawline and... damn, son.
Why his guy chose to be behind the camera instead of in front of one was a mystery. And Chris should really stop staring, but damn, son. “That’s a mean fade. Which salon did you go to?”
“One of the hairstylists I worked with did it for me this morning. It looks like a lot of blow drying effort to get some volume up here but it’s really low maintenance.”
He could really talk about hair, this guy. “So…no more of that swish-swish thing it does whenever you walk or run. I think I’ll miss that the most. Were you emotional?”
“When she hacked it off? A little,” Sebastian laughed and then ran a hand through the top part of his hair, setting it into place like there was ever a strand gone rogue.
“But the history with it has got to go,” he sighed, determined. “And this can still do that. Not much of the swish-swish but it bounces!”
Has he always been this adorable?
“Nice. So!” Chris was quick to calibrate himself from another potential malfunction from looking too long into those eyes. “That’s one way to welcome the new year, huh? New year, new hair.”
“Yeah.” His housemate agreed. “Very mainstream for me but, yeah. New year, new hair, new me, new life, hopefully a new house…”
He’d been hunting for one forever, alright . “Speaking of, you know that you can stay with me for as long as you….are paying rent, right?”
“I know ! But I overstayed my welcome. I need to get out of your home and have my own place. If I wasn’t so freakin’ busy, I would’ve gotten that cute little townhouse up at Sunnywood.”
“Nonsense,” the blonde snorted, ridiculed. “Didn’t think I ever told you this but I was a little anal with my personal space until you moved in. My first time renting out one of my rooms and I got you for a tenant - you’re like, a total blessing.”
The cheeky roll of Sebastian’s tongue between his lips was habitual but it never really interested the blonde so much until then. “Blessing, huh?”
Chris hadn’t started drinking yet but he was feeling very good. Whatever that was dancing in his stomach doubled upon seeing Sebastian’s smile widening at what he said. “What is it, Seb?”
He was straight-faced with it. “Are you flirting with me? Please tell me you are because that’ll mean all my dreams are coming true.”
“What? No.” Chris laughed, tickled pink. He could be playful, too. “I didn’t know I’m the man of your dreams, though.”
“Oh, wow!” Sebastian’s eyes rounded, gleeful and giggling uncontrollably. “That’s real smooth, Evans. You get brownie points for that one. But seriously, though - stop it. I don’t wanna get into trouble because of you.”
Chris smirked. “What kind of trouble?”
“Serious enough trouble.”
“Really? Okay. Sorry, I’m so hard to resist.” He grinned. “Anyway, yeah. You don’t have to be in a hurry to move out or anything, Seb. I’ve gotten used to having you around. I appreciate your being in my space, so don’t ever think otherwise.”
His face was already red from the alcohol but Chris could tell he was blushing hard and fast. A huge grin broke on Sebastian’s face. “Sounds like you’ve a really soft spot for me. Don’t you? Just admit it.”
“Only because you’re always ahead when rental is due,” Chris smirked, playful in his comeback. “Also, the building management won’t let me keep a dog…”
“Hah!” He punched the CEO on the shoulder, roaring with laughter despite his annoyance. “You’re such a punk, you know that?”
“Sometimes you’re a jerk, so we’re even.”
“Fair enough. Anyway! Where was I?” Sebastian was back at his list. “Mmm. New car, maybe...Hm. What else?”
“What about ‘ New boyfriend ’?”
Chace Crawford was suddenly in their zone with all of his pretty boy perfect brown hair and piercing, green eyes glory. Chris totally did not hear or see the guy coming at all but *poof* there he was, sliding up to the other man’s side and giving Chris a smile that, if he wasn’t already going bonkers and seeing things, had a lethal dose of back away from the merchandise, bro.
”Hey babe.”
Sebastian’s face lit up. “Hey, you!”
Maybe his good friend was a ninja. Maybe Sebastian was all that Chris saw until that bubble was burst by that ninja. Him and his suave as Hell heybabe that turned the photographer into giggling, lovesick puddle of goo just like *snap fingers* that.
Wait a minute. New boyfriend?
And the new boyfriend-slash-ninja went, “hey, Evans.”
They bumped shoulders in greeting. A solid friendship that spanned well over 10 years was no joke. “Hey, man.”
Next to the ninja was the drop dead gorgeous brunette and he only realized her existence when Sebastian voided his with Chace’s appearance. Not wanting to be any more rude, Chris quickly extended a hand out to her and locked her eyes to his smile.
“Hi. Hayley, right? Chris. Good to meet you.”
“Hi, Chris.” Her smile stretched when she shook his hand, friendly. “It’s very nice to meet you, too.”
From the corner of his eyes, Chris took note that his good friend had slipped his arm around Sebastian to hold him. Funny that the first word that came to Chris’ head was territorial .
The one with the snazzy hairstyle since the day he was born (possibly the legit truth) was looking back and forth between the CEO and his partner next, curious. “Didn’t know there’s a private party happening over here. We were waiting for you guys near the Pier.”
“Oh, no. We were just chatting and about to head over when you two popped up,” Sebastian drawled, licking his lips before pulling the young entrepreneur into his chest.
“And yes! How can I forget that I’ve got you now, sexy? Come here, you. Kiss me proper.”
Oh. So this is what he meant by ‘serious enough trouble’.
The feeling in his stomach turned when they kissed, making him feel uneasy and even a little sick. He wasn’t uncomfortable because they were men and they gave zero flying fucks about their public display of affection - it’s just that Chris had no freaking idea that ‘they’ happened already. Sebastian didn’t update him on that.
Not that he had expected to be clued in or anything. He knew they'd been dating for a while now but wait. Why do I care anyway?
The fireworks between the new couple were almost blinding, Christ. He returned to Hayley to see that she too, was mouthing a silent plea for let’s get out of here .
Thank God. “Shall we?”
Chris’ decision to lead her away from them and towards the Pier was a smart one. Once on their own, he restarted their first date with an apologetic, “sorry to have kept you waiting. I’m not usually like this. Parking was incredibly insane.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she sang, understanding. Her accent was light on the ears, very pleasant. “I had trouble with that too. Should’ve known better than to drive down here.”
A gentle toss of her hair over her shoulder gave off a seductively light, floral scent. Her eyes were a piercing shade of sky blue but Chris couldn’t help thinking that he knew a more outstanding pair of stunners to put hers nowhere near breathtaking.
Which was so wrong because they belong to Sebastian Stan and you fucking serious now, Evans? Why would you even think like that?
Her voice sliced into his internal turmoil, bringing the CEO out and back to her zone again. “You're worth it but you’re still gonna have to make it up to me for making me wait, handsome.”
Handsome.
The English model’s straightforwardness seemed to have struck him dumb with shyness for a second. Chris didn’t know he needed to put more effort in his warm up until Hayley moved from standing across him to standing next to him.
Her blood red lips curled into a coy smile. “I promise I won’t be difficult to please.”
From the distance, Chris could see that Sebastian was already in his own little world with his new boyfriend in his arms. The way his housemate looked at his good friend said it all - Chris hadn’t seen that kind of smile on Sebastian’s face before.
That’s because you’re not Chace Crawford, Chris. Duh?
Something within his ribcage dropped to the pit of his stomach and Chris suppressed a groan from exiting. Funny that he felt somewhat annoyed all of a sudden. By what, he couldn’t really point a finger to it. Wasn’t the right time goddamn to pick on details, too.
He turned away from the sight and brought all of his attention to who he really came for that day.
“I sure will, ma’am,” he said, charming. “How about I start by buying the lovely lady a drink?”
Sebastian was wrong - Hayley wasn’t smart. She was motherfucking intelligent and unfuckable with.
And in all honesty, Chris was having quite the experience talking to her as they walked on the sands of Malibu, taking their time in heading up to Chace’s property where the actual party would be at. The salty breeze of the ocean calmed his senses down to a zero, the sands between his toes making him feel at ease. It helped a lot that they connected - they were on the same thinking frequency most of the time and in practically every topic they’ve talked about, which was really, very nice.
However, it came to a point where the blonde couldn’t help feeling that he was, in fact, talking to himself. Only that himself came in the form of a very sexy English woman with a double degree in psychology and neuro-linguistics who chose to live the catwalk life on fashion show runways all over the world because “why not?"
“ ‘Why not? ’” That had to be the biggest difference between him and her so far. Chris was awed by her choice. “You’ve a double major. I’m just amazed that you chose to do something completely...different.”
“I love studying people and everything but I’m not in love with the career aspect of listening to problems all the time. I tried it. It’s one of those jobs that just gets to you, emotionally. It’s unhealthy.”
He knew how that felt in some days at the office. “I see. So you chose to model. As simple as that?”
“Yes. I’d really rather be in love with a closet full of sponsored Louboutins, so…”
“Of course,” he laughed, tickled by her fast wit. “The jet-set lifestyle. So glamorous.”
“Uh-huh. And I’m truly a lot happier where I am right now than behind a mahogany desk in some glass office in a mental institution somewhere,” she giggled, throwing a hand up like so damn nope to that mental image.
And then she went, “can I ask you what makes you happy, Chris?”
That scratched on the walls of his mind for a bit before Chris let out a thoughtful sigh. He couldn’t think about anything else but “Right now? Running the hospital. It’s not much of a job to me anyway. It’s more like...A duty. To serve.”
“Sounds like you have a higher purpose.”
“I believe so,” Chris nodded, swirling around the beer in his hand. “The Haven gives me everything - the highs and lows, I appreciate it all. Even the worst day at the office is worth it for those kids.”
And then she went, “other than that?”
He was clawing at his brains again.
"I mean...anyone?"
"Oh! No," Chris said, sighing. "Not at the moment. You?"
"Same here."
"Too shy or too scared?"
She laughed. "Honestly? Too busy."
Funny. That was what he answered Sebastian when the photographer asked, too. He was really on a date with himself. "Ditto that."
Eventually, he found the right thing to say to rid of the temporary silence that wedged itself in between them. “Being here and talking to you makes me happy.”
“Oh!” She tucked her wild brown curls behind her ear, beaming from flattery. “You just know when to keep it coming, don’t you?”
“I’m being honest,” Chris chuckled, amused that she wanted to think like that. “It really has been awhile since I had a conversation this long and this interesting with a woman. You’re gorgeous and brilliant. It’s refreshing. I’m having a good time with you, Hayley. I like it.”
“Thank you.” Her smile widened to the pink flush on her cheeks. “Yeah, I like it, too.”
Casually done. He knew a really smart woman like Hayley was not about to show him that she could easily be swayed by his charm (not that he had a hard time with her. Chris wouldn’t want to brag but he was naturally charming) but oh well, it wasn’t like they were getting married after that or anything. They were enjoying each other’s company so far, just walking by the seaside and talking the evening away.
No expectations, nothing serious, nothing heavy - only good vibes and harmless flirting.
Yeah, so.
Nothing crazy, too.
There was already a sizeable number of people by the time they arrived, most being mutual friends of Chris and Chace. The delicious smell of meaty grills filled the air from a nearby barbecue pit, manned by none other than the meatman himself James Corden (the guy was a professional, no shit), feel-good party music was blasting from portable speakers and drinks were readily available in big, blue cooler boxes by the pool or at the bar.
They didn’t need to go far. Two shot glasses materialized in their hands the moment they set foot into the grassy open area in front of Chace’s beachfront home, which was a short climb up the wooden stairs from the shoreline below it.
“Try this,” Sebastian urged, his smile brighter than day, even when the sun was already sinking into the distant waves of Amarillo Beach. In that gorgeous setting, the photographer seemed to be glowing in that white shirt.
And Chris didn’t know what was more messed up: him still thinking that Sebastian could seriously rock anything because he was crafted by the hands of God Himself, or the fact that his flimsy, barely buttoned up top of his was suddenly starting to bother him - a lot.
God. Why the fuck does this keep happening?
In front of him, the brown-haired man had no idea what he was thinking. He was beyond excited about the tiny milkshakes-ish drink he wanted them to try. Each of the glass was rimmed with rainbow sprinkles, the kind that you see on cupcake frostings and cakes.
“Tell me what you think.”
Without further question, the blonde knocked it back and swallowed everything in a single gulp. It looked good and tasted phenomenal, of course. Chocolatey, berry-tangy and plain yum! “Is there Nutella in this?”
Sebastian was beaming already. “Yes! So. Yay or nay?”
Yay or nay seemed to be the decision making go-to in Sebastian’s choices most of the time, seriously. Chris wished he could apply that to some of the things in his life. Meeting with the board of directors on Monday? Nay! Cancel that. Let’s go to Disney World instead, everybody. Yay!
“This is so, so good, Seb!” Hayley squealed, bringing Chris back to the circle he was in. “Anything with Nutella is good actually but this is definitely a yay, and a more please, thank you .”
“Great! Coming right up, beautiful. Chris?”
And Chris was thinking, Sebastian should really button up his shirt for crying out loud. Not that it would've made much difference because it was practically see through but so much of his exposed skin had such a nice, sun-kissed glow in this setting and it was fucking distracting .
Christ. This is getting way out of hands. You’ve seen him butt naked before and it never bothered you like this.
Where the blonde went to in his head, he had no idea. All he knew was that he came back to Sebastian’s “....hit the bar in a few hours’ time. Okay?” with a happier-than-usual sounding “you bet!” and then watched his housemate walk away - in goddamn slow motion - with his ridiculously appealing collarbone scorched into the walls of Chris’ mind.
Christ. Christ. Christ!
Why do I feel like coming to this party is a bad idea?
“I wonder. What is it about him, Chris?”
Chris jumped when Hayley’s hand landed on his arm, snapping him out of his dream-like stupor. He turned to see the English woman gawking at him like she just found hidden national treasure that was gonna set her and the next 40 generations of her bloodline for life.
Why she was suddenly twittering up in his face with unbridled excitement, he didn’t know. He cocked a brow, lost. “I’m sorry?”
“Sebastian.” Her face was as straight as the lines on a road. “What is it about him that catches so much of your attention?”
What the fuck? “What are you talking about?”
“Chris, you can just be straight with me. Or not, apparently.”
Huh? “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her smile then widened to the size of Nebraska, if not like Joker himself, with all the red on her lips. Chris didn’t know why he was bracing himself, but he did.
And she let him have it with, “you fancy him, don’t you?”
That killed him. It felt like a bolt of lightning just struck him dead in the ass. He blinked really hard at her next, absolutely shocked by the model’s sudden and fleeting assumption. “Excuse me?!”
“Our friend over there. You have the hots for him.”
It came out from freaking nowhere and was escalating to a 100 real fast. “No, I don’t have the hots for Sebastian.”
He tried to laugh it off, failing miserably when doing so. There was a skip in his heartbeat that broke a tiny sweat in his peace. “Where did you get that idea?”
“Chris, I’m literally an expert in reading body languages and neurolinguistics,” she stated proudly but also, deadpanning hard at his denial. Maybe he was too quick with it. Only because she jumped his ass with this bullshit. He became defensive, that’s all.
“I’m not offended if you do. I had my suspicions from the start of things but I came out to meet you anyway. Admittedly, I was hoping I was wrong.”
“Your suspicions from the start of things ?” He blinked. “What suspicions?”
“This whole ‘just housemates’ with Sebastian Stan thing with you two. Chris,” she sighed. “Can’t fool me anymore. I knew something was a little off from the way Seabass talks about you. Plus, that really provocative picture of you in his phone...."
Look at that. So he did tell her about the good stuffs after all but “Whoa. Hold on a second!”
The air commas were just disturbing as Hell, damn it. “No one’s fooling anyone here - he is my housemate. Okay, he’s officially my tenant and I’m his landlord but we became friends so I don’t see it that way anymore.”
“Uh-huh. So how close exactly are you guys?”
“I just said he’s my tenant and friend.”
Hayley’s scoff was mighty. “Come on. Seriously now. I told you, I can’t be offended if you two are...you know. Ever physical with each other. And by that I mean-”
“I know what you mean and no, we’re not!” He was very alarmed by this. “There’s nothing like that between us. He’s a guy . I’m a guy, Hayley. And please excuse my language but are you fucking serious right now?”
She was silenced for a moment, looking at Chris with this really thoughtful look on her face. The blonde was about to believe that he had convinced her out of her delusions but that went to Hell when the English woman went, “but you look at him differently.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just know , okay? It’s as if no one else exists in your view, Chris - that’s how obvious it is.”
He didn’t mean to squeak, but he did. “It is?!”
The smirk on her face screamed triumph. “I’m standing here right in front you but your eyes wander to him. Whenever he’s near, you turn...weak.”
Weak!?
“Okay! Hayley, you’re taking this way too far,” he grunted, immensely ridiculed by whatever she just said. In a drastic turn of events, the lovely Hayley Atwell was not so lovely anymore.
The CEO didn’t appreciate her tactless invasion into his head space. It was bad enough that he was having these episodes in which he would become highly fascinated by Sebastian’s ridiculously blessed physicality. He told himself, a billion times by the way: Who wouldn’t, really?
Sebastian was beautiful. He was a fucking magnet and everybody knew. The kind of guy who gets all the hits from both men and women when he enters a room, that was him.
Who wouldn’t be fascinated?!
But what the English model was getting at was another level of what the fuck altogether. “So again, does it matter that he’s a guy, Chris?”
“Yes, it does!” Chris scoffed, fighting against the debating voices in his head and putting his defense up higher for the woman he was with. This epic shit just hit the ceiling and he wasn’t going to have any of it anymore.
“I’m not like that. If I fancy him, I’d be asking him out and not you. I wouldn’t agree to go on a date with you, Hayley. If I like him, why didn’t I do that?”
The woman remained calm despite his voice rising in frustration in her face. “It’s highly likely that the reason why you haven’t made your move is due to the fact that you haven’t fully come to terms with yourself.”
Joke of the Year, that one. “Christ.”
“But by the time you do …”
He followed her eyes to see that she was looking at the new couple, who was talking to some people at the pool. His good friend was spoiling Sebastian rotten with affection and pride, showing him off like he was a trophy he won in competition and the man was loving it.
“Are you sure you’re not the slightest bit jealous of Chace Crawford, Chris?”
The photographer was inches above ground, head in the clouds, lost in Heaven. He radiated happiness and glee - after years of being someone’s secret in a toxic relationship, this was it. Chace was how Sebastian’s broken heart was going to be fixed.
And you made them happen.
So you can’t be fucking kidding yourself, Chris.
Chris?
He spun away and let out an audible, disbelieving groan into the wide open sea before him. His shoulders dropped in exasperation to what this fun date had just turned into - a goddamn psychological terrorism of a mess.
“This is madness. You’re ruining my mood right now, by the way.”
“I mean no offense, trouble or disrespect, Christopher. If anything, I’m only being helpful.”
How thoughtful. “Thanks, Hayley. I so needed this. A psych eval on my first date.”
His sarcasm was met with her soft sigh. “It’s best that you know what your deal is - it also helps that you accept the most important thing out of this.”
“And what is that, Hayley?”
“That you’re a little too late.”
Sebastian Stan and his new year, new hair, new boyfriend.
The young CEO fell silent. He felt as if he was stuffed into an iron safe, sealed tight and thrown into the icy waters to drown in his panic. He hadn't had an anxiety episode since years and right then, his heart pretty much wanted to explode from the surge of apprehension in his system. It turned his emotions cold and his conscience askew.
I can’t stay.
Next thing he knew, Chris was booking an Uber ride out of the area. For someone who was supposedly good at reading and empathizing with people, Hayley just dropped a goddamn building on his head so unfortunately for her and her tactlessness, he wasn’t going to stay around for the countdown like he planned to.
“You know, you may be an expert and everything but you don’t know me, Hayley. You’re wrong. About everything.”
He chucked his beer bottle into a nearby bin before starting past the model to take his leave.
Well, isn’t this the suckiest first date since forever.
“I had fun, Miss Atwell. I really did but...have a Happy New Year. Enjoy yourself at the party.”
She looked a lot disappointed but the model knew better than to stop him. The damage was done.
“You too. May all your wishes come true, Chris.”
It was almost noon the next day when he returned home and when he did, Sebastian was waiting for him.
“Chris!” He exclaimed, rushing to the door the moment the young man opened it and let himself in. “Thank God, you're home.”
Him and his goddamn blue as Hell eyes, practically pouncing on him like a puppy when its owner gets back from a long day out. The flutter in his stomach returned, and it turned wild with excitement.
I thought this shit would be over with all the cold showers I took last night.
Chris felt like running out of the apartment again but Sebastian knew nothing about what he was feeling right then, so doing that would raise a billion questions. He didn’t want a billion questions from the guy.
He needed to stay calm as possible. Breathe, Evans. Just breathe and all this will go away. Because whatever this is that you have for this man, it’s just a phase.
He’s God most perfect creation and he belongs with Chace Crawford and you’re going continue to be wingman as Hell supportive of that.
That was what he managed to convince himself after he took multiple cold showers and then lying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling like they had answers, in total darkness for most of the night while the world outside celebrated the coming of 2018. Chris had this shit show under control by the time he woke up and he wasn’t going to lose it again because of those eyes.
Breathe. “Hey ya, Seb.”
“Where have you been?” The photographer was doing a full on body scan on him next. Up and down, up and down, as if checking for a missing limb or something.
“You look okay. You’re okay, right?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Chris went, pretending to be clueless at what the other man was all up in his face about. “Why won’t I be?”
Maybe throwing Sebastian off his ride wasn’t as easy as he thought it’d be. The photographer’s eyebrows rose so high up his forehead at the way Chris just answered him. They came into a tight knit in the middle of his forehead the next second and he scoffed, ridiculed. “Why?”
Because there he was, obviously very worried about the other man whereas Chris, he didn’t feel like explaining why he was still in yesterday’s clothes. He didn’t feel like explaining anything to the guy, actually but Sebastian wasn’t going to let that rest, of course.
Coming home is a bad idea.
“You went missing! You left Hayley, left us all at the party. Missed the countdown. Left your car at the Pier, didn’t answer any of my calls, no reply to my texts, didn’t go to your office and didn’t come home,” he huffed, staring at the blonde in his disbelief.
“I was this close to filing a missing person report on your ass, that’s why! Where were you?”
Breathe. He couldn’t lie, no. Bending the truth, however, was workable with. “Oh. I, uh, I checked into a hotel last night.”
“Alone?”
“Yes, alone.”
“Because you needed to sort yourself out?”
“How’d you…” Chris was surprised that Sebastian knew about it until it hit him. “Of course. Hayley told you that.”
“Yes, she did.” Sebastian cocked his head and folded his arms, suspicious. “You’ve been behaving a little off since yesterday, Chris. You space out whenever I talk to you and you took off on a woman who totally gets you. What’s going on?”
Oh! She got me alright. “Nothing’s going on, Seb. I’m fine and that’s all that matters, right? Hayley was wonderful and everything but…I just didn’t feel like partying last night.”
“Okaaaaay….” That made no sense to the other man at all. “So you just upped and slept at a hotel, all by yourself. I mean, it’s just not like you to-”
“Seb,” he interrupted, groaning. His agitation grew at how the man was still cornering him about his stunt.
Breathe. “I’m fine . Can’t we just leave it at that? Sometimes I wanna do crazy things. So what?”
“ Sorting yourself out is your idea of doing crazy things.”
Something about the way he moved in the good lighting in his apartment was making Chris see the other man’s mouth move in slow motion when he talked.
This seriously has to fucking stop. “It’s not a big deal, Sebastian. It’s none of your concern.”
Maybe he sounded more nonchalant than he meant to and that triggered the brown-haired man’s annoyance. “You literally disappeared, Chris.”
“I know.”
“I couldn’t sleep the whole night.”
Cares way too much about me. “I’m sorry I caused that.”
“You did. And I can totally feel your sincerity right now.”
He didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to but Chris had been walking on a freaking tightrope ever since yesterday and he couldn’t continue keeping his balance when Sebastian kept coming at him to push him off. Something had to give. Eventually, he snapped.
“Can you back off a little?” He suddenly barked, startling his housemate with his outburst.
“Why do you always have to be in my space, Seb?”
The photographer clicked his tongue, wondering where the Hell was the unexpected angst came from. “I thought that’s never been an issue.”
“Yeah?” Chris’ scoff was monumental. “Well, it is now.”
“The Hell’s your problem?” The other man grunted, blindsided by the young CEO‘s souring attitude. He didn’t think it was fair that Chris just ripped his head off for showing genuine concern. “I just wanna know-”
“Christ.” The other man rolled his eyes. Hard. “Typical.”
That did it. Sebastian’s expression changed from worry to looking like he was slapped across the face. “What?”
“I said typical , Seb,” the blonde hissed, unable to hold back his anxiety from spiralling out of control. “You wanna know everything , don’t you?”
Sebastian went quiet but his blue, blue, fiery blue eyes were slowly burning a hole through the back of his housemate’s skull. Fucking invasive. Chris sensed his defense crumbling the more he stood there staring back into them but no, don’t let them get you.
“I already told you what happened, Sebastian.” He threw his keys onto the counter in his frustration, walking away from the other man to head for his room. “Now lay off it.”
“Fine.” Those eyes rolled to the angry shrug of his shoulders. “Sorry for giving a flying fuck about you, Evans.”
He knew he shouldn’t. Chris should’ve taken himself out of the eye of the storm but the other man’s sarcasm was uncalled for and hit a wrong spot in him like deadshot.
“Don’t do that. It’s your goddamn choice, Seb,” Chris spat, spinning back to him, dissatisfied with his remark.
“It’s all you!” The blonde exploded. “ You wanna care so much about me. You wanna know why I do this, why I do that. I need you to fucking stop it.”
His eyes narrowed, repulsed. “Stop prying into my life - I’m not all up your ass, demanding information when you didn’t tell me that you and Chace got together now, am I?”
Wait. What?
Shit.
“Huh?” Sebastian caught that. It was loud and clear. He blinked, surprised. “What did you say?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“What’s that got to do with this fucked up attitude of yours?”
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
Chris’ heart jumped in his alarm. Denial was first to exit out of him with, “forget what I said.”
“I’d love to, really but you just made your problem mine,” Sebastian went. He moved towards the blonde, squaring his shoulders, the blue of his eyes ablaze. He looked like he was on a mission to kill .
Damn it. Damn it.
“You’re upset that I didn’t tell you about my relationship with Chace. What is this, high school?”
“For fuck’s sake, Sebastian,” the blonde snapped when more panic flooding into him. “I said forget it. Back off!”
“Or what, Chris?” His housemate taunted, unfazed, not a single bit. “I’ve the right to know what’s the issue here because it seems to involve me and my- Evans! Where are you going?”
I can’t do this. This is way too much for me to handle.
He didn’t answer. The CEO made an abrupt U-turn past Sebastian and stalked for the only way out out of this warzone, grabbing his car keys along the way.
Hot at his heels was the brown-haired man and his determination to get what he wanted, even if it meant jumping into his lane to block the exit with his entire self.
“Hey, I’m fucking talking to you!”
It happened way too fast - Sebastian’s reach for his elbow barely landed when Chris grunted and smacked his hand away. Before he knew it, the young CEO grabbed him by the arms and slammed the other man into the cool wooden surface of the door behind him, snarling into his face with, “you fucking touch me one more time, Sebastian and I swear I will...”
Whoa, whoa! Stop!
The look on the photographer’s face was priceless - he was beyond appalled by the sudden threat directed to him. All his time knowing the blonde, Chris would never hurt a fly. They’d gotten into numerous bickering and arguments but nothing like this one before - this was very new and it was very, very bad. Very.
Fuck, Chris! What did you just do? “Oh my God!”
Chris gasped and jumped back, quickly releasing his housemate when he did. He dropped his head and cursed under his breath, horrified by what he just did.
“I’m sorry!” He cried, regret taking him over immediately after that. The CEO caved when those eyes struck him into further remorse. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Sebastian however, wasn’t disturbed by the attack. Not at all. Didn’t even flinch when Chris threw him against the door. Instead, the brown-haired man was more baffled by the blonde’s meltdown than he was scared of or mad at him.
That was how motherfucking amazing Sebastian Stan was. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m alright.”
And that made Chris feel like killing himself right then. “I seriously don’t know why I did that. I was...I just…”
“Okay. Okay, hey. I’m okay.”
“Christ!”
“Look, please just…Calm down,” Sebastian said, his voice dropping to a decibel lower, coaxing the CEO into controlling the unbridled chaos within him despite having no clue why this was all going to shit.
Therapeutic. “Breathe, Chris. Just breathe, okay?”
That’s right. Breathe, Chris.
The CEO never really noticed that Sebastian had a tiny dimple on his left cheek but there it was, sneaking into his sight underneath the light, neat stubble he was sporting. His smile was small and tight but the worry that returned on his face was exponential.
“The Hell’s gotten into you, damn it?”
The rage in him died when he looked deeper into those eyes. Chris felt a really strong wave of emotions pushing him to do what he would never have done had he fought himself harder to obtain better self-control.
Without thinking twice and in a sudden movement, Chris leaned in and kissed the other man - hard, deep and fully on the lips. He kissed him with intensity so forceful, with his sanity hanging by a thread, with the stress of his heart galloping at a billion beats per minute and with the electrifying surge in his body sentencing his common sense to death.
The kiss didn’t last long and the repercussion of his brash action came swift. Sebastian let out an angry yelp and pushed him off before landing a whole, solid palm on the side of Chris’ his face, striking him hard.
“Fuck, Seb!”
Chris recoiled upon impact but he didn’t retaliate. He knew he fucking deserved it, jumping the other man with something major like this. Crossing the line out of his own whim, he had zero respect for him.
Naturally, things went to Hell.
“So did you get your answer?”
The twist in the plot was tragic on a dramatic scale. Sebastian’s kind nature was gone and he was glowering at him next, the smile on his face turning into a menacing, disgusted scowl as he angrily wiped a hand across his mouth. There was nothing in those blue, blue, blue as Hell eyes of his that suggested he liked what just happened.
“Did you get yourself sorted out from doing this to me?”
The blonde didn’t get the chance to say or do anything else with his entire head throbbing from the pain of the slap he received. All he knew was that the damage he created was catastrophic and the grounds they were standing on turned nuclear with hostility.
Sebastian was really, really mad.
It escalated way too fast and crashed way too soon - the photographer had grabbed the handle and yanked open the door of their unit. His last words to Chris’ face before he walked out of the Hell zone was, “You’re an asshole, Chris.”
Had Sebastian slammed the door in his face any harder, he would have caused an earthquake and the whole condominium compound to come crashing down on his ass but that didn’t matter to the CEO.
Sebastian calling him an asshole didn’t either. He deserved that one, too. For sure.
His new problem was the amount of marbles he was about to lose when the buzz on his lips began to spread this really nice, tingling sensation all over him. He was regretting it to Hell and back until the warmth from the kiss made him want to smile like an idiot at the stupid door.
Suddenly, more than anything else right then, Chris Evans had to stupidly wonder.
Was I a bad kisser or something?
To be continued...
Thanks for reading!
Gonna watch Black Panther tonight woohoo!