“The truth is…” It dawned on Tony Stark, as he read the guide notes that were filled with lies meant to be passed off as true, just how ridiculous it was, Tony Stark was a goddamn celebrity. Nothing, especially as big as this, could be hidden well for long.
So Tony decided to save everyone the trouble.
“I am Iron Man.”
Everyone in the press room seemed shocked, they were standing up, ready to take photos, ready to tell the world who Iron Man truly was, when…
“That’s very funny, Mr. Stark.” The voice echoed throughout the room, everyone froze, then fell back into their seats, ready to listen and possibly report anything newsworthy. “But I don’t think that a man who had only escaped from captivity in Afghanistan would openly throw himself back into life-threatening danger, and you have been known to lie to the press before, so why should we believe you?”
Tony Stark scanned the room to find who was talking to him, when he found a pair of lips that matched the words escaping into the air. He simply smiled at the young brunette reporter that seemed comfortable enough to interrogate Tony Stark in front of the press. He paused, before speaking again.
“I am Iron Man.” His voice left no room for argument.
They all stared at him, unimpressed.
The press was so unimpressed they weren’t pressing.
That was what frustrated Tony Stark the most. They couldn’t believe that he was Iron Man because of one little kid stood up and said “I don’t think so.”
But being frustrated wasn’t worth his time, and if the press wasn’t going to listen to him, who they’ve come to listen to and write about, then they weren’t worth his time either.
He had bigger and better things to do.
Tony Stark sighed deeply, then let out a forceful laugh that filled the then silent room. He pointed to the young kid who had the guts to stand up to Tony Stark and winked. “You’re going places, kid.” was the only other thing that he had said, before he burst out laughing again, truly laughing this time because how could they be so stupid? And exited the stage with other reporters stood up and started barreling him with questions once they realized he was about to leave.
“Mr. Stark, who really were the men piloting those suits?”
“Mr. Stark, some people have claimed to see Ms. Potts running into the building, what do you have to say about that?”
“Mr. Stark, could we schedule an interview for talking about what truly happened in Afghanistan? My news network is–”
Tony Stark slammed the door behind him.
He figured everyone would want to rip his head off in privacy.
Agent Coulson had his lips pressing into a fine line, Tony was almost certain it was because he was trying not to smile.
“That, Mr. Stark,” The agent said. “was brilliant.”
Tony didn’t reply.
“Not only did you keep the identity of Iron Man a secret, but you’ve secured it without having to give anything away on what happened and where you were that night. No details for the world to pick apart.”
Tony gave him nothing.
“Mr. Stark–”
“Sorry, Agent Coulson, I have somewhere I’ve got to be right now.” Tony stated, they both knew it was a lie, this press conference was meant to last for another hour, but Coulson let him go.
Tony Stark crawled into the backseat of the car, told Happy that he wanted to go home, and was left alone with his thoughts.
……………………
“Did it even cross your mind that this might me a good thing?” Rhodey said once Tony had told him what happened. “If nobody knows who Iron Man is, then they can’t go after people close to you, can’t try to get you personally, and you’ll never be caught off guard, because people wouldn’t know who to attack out of the armor.”
“It’s not that I don’t see the good things about this Rhodey,”the corner of Tony’s mouth twitched, “It’s that I was ready to deal with those things, I’m not ready to keep something like this a secret though.”
Rhodey sighed. “If you don’t want it to be a secret, then just don’t hide it, like you did. People will have to believe you if you give them the proof.”
“It bothers me I even have to prove this, all because of a kid.”
“Trust me on this, okay? I mean, how hard do you really think it’s going to be for people to find out about something you’re not even hiding?”
……………………..
Apparently it was harder than they thought.
Even when Tony Stark had arrived at his Stark Expo wearing his armor with his face revealed. Everyone believed that “Tony Stark’s good friend and bodyguard.”had allowed him to enter wearing his suit to bedazzle the audience.
Tony almost wanted to scream. But a part of him was laughing too, there was a part of him that stared at people’s obliviousness to him obviously being Iron Man, and it made him want to laugh.
So Tony made an executive decision.
Instead of being butthurt that nobody believed he was Iron Man, he’ll turn in into a game, an experiment.
How far can he go until someone, anyone, figures this out? What kind of overly stretched reason will they come up with next?
Oh, Tony thought, this is going to be fun.
…………………..
“Big man in a suit of armor, take that off, and what is he?” Tony was truly, truly astonished. How could the Captain America. The fucking Captain America, pinnacle of human potential Captain America, not realize how obvious it was that Iron Man was Tony Stark?
He could see how everyone stopped, and stared at him, expecting to defend the Iron Man. Everyone in here save for the SHIELD agent Romanoff and Director Nick Fury, didn’t notice that Tony Stark was Iron Man, but the media has claimed time and time again that Tony Stark and Iron Man were “the best of friends” so often that there’s a rumor going around that Rhodey is both Iron Man and War machine.
Tony snorted, because he had managed to pull the wool under the eyes of Captain America without even fucking trying.
Captain Rogers eyes narrowed, “Do you know what he’s doing that is more important than this?” he asked in a hostile tone at Stark.
“Yeah, I do know what he’s doing actually” Tony replied. “He’s not sitting on his ass and distracting the people trying to figure out how to stop a “gods”–still a little iffy on that, by the way– plan that first phase had managed to nearly kill 100 people in 2 days.”
Rogers looked him dead in the eye. “80 people.”
“I said nearly.”
“Be more respectful to the dead.”
“I kind of want you to make me.” He wasn’t trying to be disrespectful either.
“Do you really think you can manage this without your bodyguard?”
“I managed to nearly die 12 times a day in a cave in Afghanistan surrounded by a lot more people a lot more willing to kill me for 3 fucking months, and I escaped, I think you’re underestimating me.”
Rogers flinched. Maybe they hadn’t told him that happened. “But you’re a civilian.”
“I don’t think that matters to terrorists, Captain. Also, I’m not the worse “civilian” to be hanging around with when shit hits the fan.” he almost wanted to cackle at the look Captain fucking America gave him when he said that. “That means when trouble starts.”
“Uhm…” the nervous voice of Dr. Bruce Banner filled the air. “Not to interrupt…bonding time, but I think Stark is going to want to see this.”
Tony didn’t wait to see if Captain Rogers wanted to continue or not, he turned and paid attention to his work.
…………………….
“Stark! Get to safety! And call Iron Man in now!” He could hear Captain Rogers yelling into his ear on the “comm” that he received for being a “consultant” of the Avengers.
“Iron Man is already here Captain, don’t you worry.” Tony smirked, he didn’t have any sort of voice modifiers, he sounded exactly like he did when he told Rogers off on the helicarrier. “And I’m bringing the party to you.” he said before turning the corner. And the battle begun.
………………..
Tony Stark was cold.
Absolutely freezing. He wanted to tell someone to turn up the heat, or go and get a coffee, or, if he was sleeping, find the blankets.
Then again, this is the kind of cold Tony didn’t think could be cured by blankets.
Tony Stark knew he was dying, he had felt it before, he knew that he had somehow managed to land back on his own planet, back on the cold ground. He wanted to fight it, to live, but he also just….didn’t.
He didn’t care. But he did. It was like his primal instincts were screaming at him to “fight it, fight. It. You’re not fucking done yet.” While another part of him was whispering “just let go, you won’t have to suffer anymore, you can just…stop.”
And Tony Stark didn’t know what part to chose. He didn’t really care either, he just didn’t want to be so cold anymore.
Turns out he didn’t have to chose.
The Hulk did the choosing for him.
Didn’t mean he didn’t nearly scare Anthony Stark to death, with a roar that ended up saving his life.
Irony at it’s finest, I guess.
Oh, Tony almost didn’t notice he was talking about…Shawarma? What the hell is a shwarma? It seems like Tony Stark wasn’t 100% back yet. But he was getting there.
He hopes nobody had to kiss him.
……………………………
“That was a reckless move by Iron Man,” Steve claimed, looking exhausted at the small table everyone was eating in silence around. “You could’ve–No, you almost died–Mr. Stark. Doesn’t that bother you? I thought Iron Man was meant to be your protector, not the other way aroun–”
Tony held his hand up in Rogers direction and the noise stopped.
“You know what I absolutely love more than anything?” He asked the table, but pointed to Rogers. “Is when I’ve almost died and then nearly immediately I get bombarded with the big questions, let me at least have one cup of coffee, Steve.” The name rolled off of Anthony Stark’s tongue so quickly and smoothly it took a moment for anyone, including him to notice. “Rogers.” He tried to correct himself.
“Sorry, Sta–uh, Tony…?” Steve looked highly unsure of himself. The table stopped and watched Tony’’s next move.
“If you’re going to apologize to anyone,” Tony was too tired to consciously play his game right now, but he’s been doing it for so long, it wasn’t something he had to focus on. “Apologize to Iron Man, he was there, he was on the verge of death, ready to accept it even–oh and he can hear you. And that suit saved my life” Tony averted his eyes “….Again.”
Steve let out a small “Oh.” and was silent for a moment. But spoke up again. “Can he hear us all right now?” he asked.
Tony let out an amused huff. “Yeah.”
Romanoff rolled her eyes.
Barton looked at her curiously.
“Well then,” Steve raised his glass, “To Iron Man, he saved the world, and gave up his suit to save his friends life. That’s one of the most admirable things I can think of.”
Tony watched as he, practically on auto-pilot, picked up his coffee, and clinked it with the others glasses.
The Avengers, huh? Maybe this isn’t the worst thing in the world.
…………………….
“I’m actually quite shocked nobody has accused you of being Iron Man yet, Tony,” Steve said when they were alone in the main room.
Tony stopped dead, did someone finally beat his game? Was Steve only playing dumb?
“I mean, you let the guy use your voice so nobody can figure out what his is.” Steve continued.
Tony wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
Captain fucking America couldn’t figure it out.
“I…I would actually like to give thanks in person. It doesn’t have to be without the suit, but I barely even saw him during the incident.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “You already said thank you.”
“I feel like it’s not enough.”
“It’s more than enough for me.”
“Is it for Iron Man, though?”
Tony sighed. “He doesn’t do it to get a thank you, he doesn’t do it to be recognized, either.” He looked up at Steve. “He does it because he wants, needs to, he’s doing it because he knows, truly knows, that It. Is. Right. You don’t have to say thank you, at least not more than once. He knows what he’s doing helps.”
Steve nodded in acknowledgement. “Then he is a good man.”
Tony Stark wished he could believe that.
………………………………….
“Wait, so, you’re Iron Man?” the kid, Harley, asks. “Like, really? You’re not pulling my leg?”
“Are we sure the public isn’t pulling mine? I mean, this has to be a joke, some long term prank on Tony Stark.”
“No, I mean, really? You aren’t just trying to mess with people?”
“I’m always trying to mess with people kid, but if you actually believe what I’m saying.” Tony gestured to the broken down Iron Man suit sitting on the couch. “That would make you the first actually intelligent person I’ve met who didn’t practically watch me build the damn thing.”
Harley looked at him weird.
“Yes, really. I am Iron Man. You know who Iron Man truly is, kiddo, have fun with knowing my secret identity I haven’t tried to keep secret since 2008.”
Harley shrugged. “Cool.”
Tony Stark was pretty sure he had just met the smartest child in the world.
…………………………………..
Of course his game wasn’t over after that either, he had to practically spell it out for the kid. But he was the closest thing he’s had to a winner so far.
Of course that was before he met Barnes.
He was glad that Steve had called him for something as important as this. Even if it was last minute.
He arrived just as Captain America had crashed into the water. He was pulled out by Iron Man before his head even gone completely under.
He found another pair of vitals after scanning the water and pulled the other guy up too.
He was conscious.
He was conscious and alive and fighting.
Tony did the only thing he could think of before this guy ripped his head off.
Iron Man shoved a sedative into this man that was meant to be powerful enough to stop the Hulk.
The man screamed in anger and in panic as he started to lose what consciousness he had.
“Sorry.” Tony managed to say before he saw the other man passed out. “Really, I’m sorry I had to do that.”
…………………….
Steve was overjoyed at the fact Tony Stark had managed to get Bucky off of a serious trial and just into court-mandated therapy.
“Thank you, Tony” Steve looked truly grateful. “Thank you, really.”
“Thank Iron Man. Well, actually you are.” Tony took a sip of his coffee.
“Yeah. I have to thank him personally too.”
Tony nearly spat out his coffee in a fight against himself not to laugh.
……………………..
The look on Barnes face when he entered the workshop was priceless. It had been about 6 months since Barnes had arrived and had slowly integrated himself into their daily lives.
At first Tony was concerned. Barnes looked truly shocked about something.
It took him a moment to realize he was still wearing his armor.
Tony waited for Barnes to speak first. This might just be a mistake. Or we could have a winner.
“You, are..You…” Barnes was stuttering. “You’re Iron Man?”
“Pssh, no” Tony joked. Trying to throw Barnes off the trail.
“You’re wearing the armor!” Barnes accused.
“I’m….keeping it warm. Systems shut down if it gets too cold.” well, there was an icing problem. Like, 40 models ago.
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” he asked.
“Yep.” Tony stared right at him.
“Oh god, I just. Wait–” Barnes pointed at him. “So when I told Iron Man not to tell Stark I used the last of the coffee grinds–!”
“You did use my coffee grinds!” Tony pointed back, sounding scandalized.
“This is insane! Do the others know!?” Barnes seemed to almost not be listening.
“Know I mess around with Iron Man’s stuff? Hell yes.” Tony grinned.
“Oh god,” Barnes sat down. “Tony Stark, civilian, celebrity, Tony fucking Stark. Is fucking Iron Man.”
Tony smirked. “Funny theory. Good luck trying to convince the others.”
“I…I need a minute. I’m going for a walk, or going to jump off the roof of the tower, I’ll decide when I get to it.” He quickly shot up and left.
Once he knew Barnes was completely out of sight, and even out of his super-soldier hearing range. He burst into a fit of joyous laughter.
He finally had a winner.
…………………………….
Messing with Barnes became Tony’s new favorite game.
Barnes was already the winner of his last one, he wondered if he could beat this one too.
This game was, however, made solely to mess with Barnes.
Tony Stark had bought, (and what he didn’t purchase, he made) about four identical copies of every single Iron Man merchandising he could find. He made his own mugs and T-shirts, jackets, shoes, and even pants that said “Tony Stark is Iron Man.” scrawled across the ass. He liked mix-matching them all, but his favorite was when Barnes saw him wearing it all together and everybody acting completely oblivious to Tony Stark’s antics.
“You honestly can’t even say the thought didn’t even cross your guys’s minds right!?” Barnes almost looked physically pained. “I mean, Tony Stark being Iron Man cannot be something that never even popped up in the back of your heads, right?!”
“It’s certainly an…interesting thought, Buck.” Steve replied. “But, even if Tony’s a good guy, he doesn’t seem like the…vigilante type Iron Man is.”
“Interesting? More like crazy!” Barton exclaimed.
Romanoff looked slightly amused about something.
Thor looked around at his allies like a lost puppy.
Banner took his glasses off and frowned. Concentrating on what Barnes had claimed.
Barnes looked like he was going to punch something. Or someone. How could they not get it!?
…………………………….
“Nice job guys, we really aced this one!” Steve looked around the group like a proud father. “Hawkeye, Widow, nice tag-team tactic, Hulk, Thor, what you did was effective but…” Steve pointed at the rubble still rolling onto the street. “Maybe think about the collateral damage next time. Bucky! Amazing as always.” Steve gave Bucky a small pat on his back. Bucky was looking at the ground, but there was a small smile on his face
“And don’t you dare think I can’t see you trying to sneak away over there, Iron Man!” Steve shouted. Then approached. “I want to thank you properly for once, instead of passing the message on from Stark.”
“I really hate to disappoint you, Captain.” Iron Man replied, before pulling the faceplate up. “But I am Stark.”
Bucky’s head shot up. No way, No way can Steve not realize…right?
Steve sighed. “I never thought that guy would be so shy if he was working with you. I’m amazed you two managed to switch out without any of us noticing.”
Bucky threw his face into both of his hands and groaned.
“Hey, you okay?” He could see Clint waving his hand in front of Barnes face through the cracks in his fingers.
“Just…an aneurism out of witnessing such pure idiocy.”
“Yeah,” Clint looked back over to where the battle had taken place. “Why they would try to take over the world starting with the Avengers local city of New York is beyond me too.”
“Clint, stop talking, you’re making it worse.”
……………………………
It should have occurred to Stark that Bucky would fight back.
That he would try to get people to realize, to see what was so obviously laid out in front of them.
But Tony tried that for years and nobody believed him.
It was going to be fun to watch this time around.
………………………….
“Of course I’m not Iron Man.” Tony said with a wink to one of the reporters shoving a microphone into his face in the middle of a coffee house. “Do I look like the suit or something?” He asked.
The reporter gave him a weird look, probably because Tony was wearing his favorite “Tony Stark is Iron Man.” outfit in public. With his now added additions of a pair of sunglasses, a hat, and a belt all black with bold white letters saying “TONY STARK IS IRON MAN” on every part it could fit onto.
Yes, even the ass jeans, especially the ass jeans.
what can he say? They’re comfy.
“Then what are you planning to do with all this merch? Why write something like that on it if it wasn’t true?”
“You’re smarter than you look, dear.” Tony pulled down his sunglasses so the reported could see him wink. “But I,” Tony gestured towards his outfit and smiled. “Am clearly not Iron Man.”
“One large black coffee for ‘Iron Man’.” The barista smiled and placed the large coffee cup directly in front of Tony.
“Pssh,” Tony picked the cup up in his hands and took a long drink. Remaining in direct eye contact with the reporter. “Asking me if I’m Iron Man, honestly. Amateurs.” Tony gave one last wink and walked out of the store.
………………………
At the next party Tony throws, he’s wearing the Iron Man armor nearly the whole time, and showing people how to take it off and put it on. When someone can’t get it to fit right Tony says that it’s because it’s fit to his exact measurements. Everybody laughs.
Bucky goes to the roof and cries in frustration.
………………………
“And Mr. Barnes, what do you think?” The bold interviewer asked. This was the first time Bucky Barnes attended any sort of interview. And of course it had to be with Tony. Of course Tony had to make an offhanded comment about him being Iron Man nobody batted an eye at. Even though Tony was repairing part of the suit in the middle of the interview.
“What do I think…?” Bucky repeated. He stood up and Tony paused from his work to pay attention. “You really want to know what I think?”
The interviewer gulped, but they pressed on. “Yes.”
Bucky put his hands on his face and breathed in deeply. Then flailed them out in his outburst. “I think you people are idiots! Look at him, look!” Bucky wildly gestured towards Stark, covered head to toe in his own merchandising. “He’s repairing his suit that is tailored to his–AND ONLY HIS–body type and measurements. Right. In. Front. Of. You.” He grabbed the suit piece and threw it out of the view of the cameras. “Did you know that for a while there the suit was only capable of reading only Tony Stark brainwaves? That the suit wouldn’t work if anyone else was in it? Oh my god! What kind of press is this? What kind of hope can I have for the future if they can’t even figure out Anthony fucking Stark is Iron Man!? My own teammates can’t fucking figure this out! My best friend and super geniuses and gods and assassins trained to know when people are lying can’t figure this out. WE LIVE WITH HIM! LAST WEEK HE USED THE IRON MAN SUIT TO COOK AN EGG JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SEE IF HE CAN DO IT! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! HE JUST SUMMONED THE SUIT AND CRACKED AN EGG OVER THE REPULSER AND COOKED ONE AND THEN NONCHALANTLY THREW IT ONTO THOR’S PLATE! AND HE ATE IT!”
The entire place had gone dead quiet. Everyone was staring, wide-eyed at Barnes after his anger had subsided. He sat back down and rubbed his temples.
“Tony?”
“Yeah Bucky-bear?”
“Get me away from the stupid people before I hurt one of them.”
“Okay.”
“Well then,” Tony quickly stood up and fetched his suit part. “With that, I think we’ll be taking our leave.” He quickly grabbed Barnes by his hand and they marched to the car together.
The second the car door closed shut Tony was howling with laughter.
“OH, oh my go–You–You said that–You told them all off–On live fucking television!–Oh my god I can’t breathe!” Tony looked close to tears.
“Barnes I could kiss you!” Tony exclaimed happily once he caught his breath.
“Oh that would be the least you could fucking do, I’ve had to deal with this shit for nearly a damn year.”
“Oh yeah? What would you have me do?”
Bucky pondered for a moment. “First of all, just one kiss? Not enough, nowhere near enough. But you can’t just start off with the kissing, I’d make you work for it. Feel some of the frustration I have over these past few months.” He ignored the smirk on Tony’s face. “Fancy dinner, I won’t accept anything under 4 ½ stars. And you have to buy the whole place out so it’s just us, and it has to be a restaurant you don’t already own, or know the owners of, at all. I’ll make you answer shitty “awkward first date” questions we both already know the answer to, Then you rent out the top of the fucking Empire State building. I don’t know if that’s even possible but you would have to. And we would watch New York from a point of view you would never even dream to see of in my time if you weren’t in a plane. Then you would have to personally fly both of us out to Italy for gelato. Because I haven’t had gelato in about 70 years.”
“Anything else?”
“I think that’s about it.”
“Great” Tony smiled widely. Then checked his watch. “Okay, so it’s about 5:45pm right now, so I guess I’ll see you at about 8:00 pm sharp, tonight.”
“What?”
“I’m going to do all of that, and more.” Tony winked.
He gaped at Tony.
“C’mon, I was basically the sole reason you had a complete mental breakdown back at that interview.” Tony pointed in the direction which they were coming from. “It’s the least I could do.”
“Stark, I want to know if I’m reading this situation right,” Bucky replied. “Are you…asking me out?”
“And James Buchanan Barnes continues to be the most perceptive man I’ve ever met. Yes.”
“Then you know my answer.”
“Could you…say it out loud?”
“Yes, Tony, Jesus Christ.”
“Great, I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“Actually, I have one more thing you have to do.”
“What is it?”
“Wear your jeans that have “Tony Stark is Iron Man” written on the ass. Maybe I’ll want something to…read.”
“Oh? Is reading all you’ll be doing?”
Tony smiled. Bucky smiled back.
“Very funny, Mr. Stark.”