- “There’s blood on my/your hands.”
Clint/Bucky/Nat
Clint fist sees them when he is sixteen, a week short of being seventeen, and the first sight of them is really more of a glance than anything else. He is performing at a night show, the glare of the lights bright but he loves looking out at the crowd and it the flash of red that catches his eyes as he scans it during his act. Her hair is red, bright and fiery, and it catches the lights, grabs Clint attention. She is watching him intently , just like most of the crowd is but there is something in her gaze, an intenseness that he sees mirrored in the man next to her. He only gets a tiny glimpse of him before turning his attention back to the performance but something about him seems vaguely familiar but Clint really doesn’t know why. He brushes it off, puts them out of his mind and finishes the show, messing up once, a shot not dead center, not that the crowd notices but Clint knows that if Buck is watching tonight, he did and so he hangs around the tent after it is over, talks to the crowd so he can put off having to face the consequences for messing up. Barney has been gone for a while now and he can’t protect Clint from Buck anymore so Clint does what he can to avoid the other man and hanging out with the crowd will do that.
This is something Clint has gotten used to over the last couple of years, dealing with the people after the show, the excitement of some, the rudeness of others. Most of it is mostly back ground noise really, Clint just smiling and playing along till one voice catches his attention and draws his eyes to the speaker.
“I can see why they call you the amazing hawkeye, seems like you hardly ever miss.”
There is a lilt to her voice, almost a hint of impressed teasing to it, and as Clint turns to the voice, he sees the same red hair that caught his eyes during the show. She stands there, the man right next to her, and Clint had only seen just a glimpse of both of them and it is nothing compared to seeing them up close now. They’re beautiful , both of them, probably a few years older than him, the woman with her bright hair and green eyes staring at him like she sees right through him, and the man with his sharp eyes and longish hair, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. They are both looking at him and he grins at them now.
“Thanks, world’s greatest marksmen, every show better than the last.”
He says this with practiced ease, trying not to think about how he sort of missed a shot tonight. He had forgotten about it the last few minutes but her compliment of hardly ever miss has brought it back to the forefront just a bit. He is sure it doesn’t mean much, they couldn’t have seen that the shot was a bit off. The man just looks at him for a moment before asking a question.
“ So if we come back tomorrow night, your shots will be even better, even closer?”
There is something about the way he says this, a slight smirk on his lips, that makes Clint think he knows about the shot being off, not being perfectly on target but he just sells himself more, knows how to play to an audience.
“Come back tomorrow, they will be the most perfect shots you have ever seen, I’ll bet my life on it.”
The woman smiles now, eyes gleaming just a bit and she leans forward a little bit as she speaks again.
“We just met, shouldn’t offer your life right away, we might take it. “
“She’s right, we might take it but we’ll see you tomorrow, see if you keep your promises.”
The man says this with another little smirk and then they walk away and Clint wonders if he really will see them again tomorrow. The thought leaves his head as the crowd thins and he heads back to his tent, no sign of Buck there and Clint feels a sigh of relief, goes to bed thinking of red hair and smirks.
The next night comes and Clint is once again performing, finds himself looking for that flash of red again and he sees it, sees both of them and he can’t quite believe that they came back. He remembers his promise from the night before and all of his shots are amazing, right on target and he finishes the show with the usual applause, waits outside the tent and he doesn’t have to wait too long till he hears one of the voices that he heard yesterday, finds himself looking at them again.
“Looks like you keep your word. Nice show tonight , hawkeye. Perfect.”
It is the man who says this but both of them are looking at him and Clint can feel his face heating up just a bit. It isn’t the words that are making him blush, more the way they are both looking at him but he tries not to let it show, not like any of this is going to lead any where so he just smiles at them, tries not to get too flustered.
“I aim to please and you can call me Clint.”
“Alright, Clint, very good show. You might be someone to keep an eye on.”
She says this now, voice low, and there is something in her eyes that Clint can’t quite figure out but it makes his cheeks warm just a bit more. He looks back at the man again and he still looks a little bit familiar and he is debating about asking if they have met again when his attention is pulled away by someone calling to him, saying that Buck wants to see him at the other tent in a few minutes. He turns and calls back an answer and when he turns back around, they are gone and he is just a bit disappointed that he didn’t even learn their names. The circus leaves tomorrow and he is never going to see them again now. He pushes the thought aside and goes to meet Buck, tries not to think about the way they looked at him, the interest in their eyes, about what might have happened if he could stay here longer.
^*^*^*
It is a couple of months and some cities later when red hair catches his eyes again and he swears he sees them in the crowd, but he can’t pay too much attention to it, has to focus on the show. He gets it done, hopes they show up to talk again but they aren’t there and he thinks he must have imagined it, pushes it out of his mind but a few months later a flash of red catches his eyes again and he swears the guy waves at him, something shiny covering his hand but once again they don’t approach him when the show is over and it must just be him seeing people who look like them in the crowd, a bit of wistful thinking. He doesn’t know quite why he thinks about them so much, he has seen a lot of attractive people through his travels but these two stood out to him and he swears he sees them for a third time about nine months after he first saw them. He figures nothing will come of it just like the last couple of times but he is wrong.
“You get better each time we see you.”
They are here now, the redhead speaking and Clint gives just a little bit of a smile.
“And how many times has that been now?”
He asks and it is the man that answers, with just a bit of a smirk.
“I believe this makes five, the fourth city we seen you in.”
“So you guys either travel a lot or you’re stalking me.”
He says this and it gets him a little grin from the redhead.
“Maybe it is a bit of both. We don’t stay in one place too long and your show is good.”
“If you’re going to stalk me, maybe you should give me your names.”
He says this lightly but he really wants to know their names.
“Are our names all you want?”
She asks him again, voice just a little teasing and Clint tries to play confident right now. It isn’t like he hasn’t flirted before, there have been some girls and a few boys scattered in different towns that grabbed his interest but none quite like these two. He gives a little smirk now, plays it up.
“It will do for now.”
The man gives a little huff as the woman smiles and speaks.
“Alright, I’m Natasha and this is James.”
The man holds his right hand out and Clint takes it, gives it a shake.
“You know you look kind of familiar. “
Clint says this now, still think there is something familiar about him and James sort of chuckles a bit.
“Well, you have seen me a few times now. Do you need to stay here or can you go to the diner nearby, get a bite with us?”
Clint knows that he should probably stay around here , Buck likes him to stay near by,but he gives a nod.
“I don’t have a show till tomorrow afternoon. I could eat, let me get out of these clothes, I’ll meet you back here.”
They both give a nod and Clint rushes back to his tent, relieved to see that Buck isn’t here, doesn’t want to deal with his questions. He gets dressed quickly and rushes back to the front of the big tent, a little nervous that they won’t be there but they are still waiting, smile at him as he gets closer and then they walk to the diner. They end up spending the next couple of hours together, Clint eating a stack of French toast while neither of them really eat much , just drink coffee and ask Clint questions about himself, about why he is in the circus, about his life before. It has been a while since he had attention like this, attention on him, just on him and he laps it up, answers all their questions and feels content with things when they head back to the circus. It is pleasant and he wouldn’t mind them showing up at the afternoon show tomorrow.
They don’t show up at the afternoon show or even the evening one. Clint doesn’t see them again till a few weeks later but when he does, they invite him out again, and he enjoys it. It becomes a ritual of sorts after that, they will show up every once in a while, anywhere between a few weeks to a few months, take Clint out to a diner and the three of them will talk for a while. They learn all sorts of things about Clint and he learns a few about them but not that many. He learns that James does have a metal hand, a prosthetic replacing an arm he lost during a war. He learns that Natasha is from Russia and knows ballet but they don’t talk much about what they do now or about any family they may have. They are a bit mysterious like that but he doesn’t mind too much though he is a little curious about one thing.
“You know, I never see you at any of my after noon shows. You guys allergic to the sun or something?”
It is true, he has never seen them during the day, only at night and Natasha shrugs her shoulders as she answers.
“We’re just night owls. “
She says this and he just accepts it as fact, likes them too much to think too much about all the mystery surrounding them. James just smiles now, leans forward just a bit.
“I don’t think you mind too much, staying up late with us.”
Clint doesn’t say anything, just gives a bit of a smile of his own and goes back to eating his pancakes. He likes the little flirting that is going on, wants it to be more, but hasn’t quite figured out how to push for it other than flirting a bit himself. He thinks maybe nothing will come out of this, after all James and Natasha are already together from everything they have told Clint and he is a little bit younger than them but he did just turn eighteen so everything should be good ad he wants them, thinks it might be worth saying something. Tonight, he decides to take a chance.
“I do, wouldn’t mind staying up even later with you. Do you have a place nearby?”
It is a bold move and James gives him a quirk of an eyebrow while Natasha gives him a bit of a smile with just a tiny bit of edge.
“If you come with us, we may not let you go.”
“I would be ok with that.”
He says it, means it and Natasha just gives another little smile before giving a nod.
“Alright, we are staying nearby, may not keep you quite yet, need to make sure you’re ready for that but we can still have a bit of fun.”
She says this and Clint gives a little nod and the next minutes are a bit of a blur, they pay for the food and head out, Clint walking between them, bodies touching him and they are a bit cold but he doesn’t mind too much. Even with his words from earlier, he knows he can only spend a few more hours with them or Barney will probably come looking for him but he still wants this, wants whatever they are willing to give him right now. They are nearing a little house now, are walking on to the porch and James stops Clint for just a moment, leans in close and then there are lips against his. It is just a light press and his lips are cool instead of warm like Clint would expect but it still sort of makes Clint’s knees a tiny bit weak.
“Wanted to do that for a little while now. If you want to change your mind, you should go now, run.”
There is something in James’s voice, a little hint of warning and both he and Natasha are watching him, stares intent and for a brief moment, Clint wonders what he is getting himself into. He doesn’t run, just leans forward and returns James’s kiss.
“Not running.”
He says it simply as he pulls back form James and Natasha smiles and moves closer.
“Good, we might have chased you.”
She says this and then leans in closer, brushes her own kiss against his lips. It is a brief press but promises a lot more just like James’s did. They go into the house after that , stopping only to take off their shoes, lead him to a bedroom and there are more kisses now, kisses and touches, and it is everything that Clint wants.
“Want to see all of you.”
Natasha says this in between kisses, is pulling at his shirt and Clint doesn’t fight it, doesn’t fight it when James does the same with his pants just a few minutes later. Soon enough he is completely bare before them though they have lost anything yet and he feels a bit exposed but tries not to lose his confidence.
“Like what you see?”
He asks now, spreads out his arms and does a little twirl even, tries not to think about the scars that are on him. Natasha leans closer to him, places a finger lightly against a scar on the top of his right shoulder.
“We do. So many marks though.”
There is just a hint of curiosity in her voice and with everything that he has shared with them,he hasn’t shared this. They know that his parents are gone, know that it has only been him and Barney for a long time but they don’t know what came before, the bruises and the marks, and he wonders if he should tell them now.
“Who gave you that? Where did it come from?”
James asks now, has placed his finger against the scar just like Natasha now and Clint tells them, doesn’t want to keep it from them.
“My dad. It is from his belt, not the only one. Doesn’t matter now, he’s dead, can’t ever do it again.”
Clint says this and means it, it doesn’t matter anymore even if he still sometimes has nightmares about it, about his dad. Their fingers move now, only to be replaced with Natasha’s lips placing a soft kiss against the mark and James leaning close and whispering against Clint’s ear.
“If he wasn’t already gone, I would rip out his throat or help you to do it.”
His voice is low and maybe he is joking but Clint doesn’t think he is and a shiver runs through Clint now but it disappears just as soon it come when James kisses against his cheek and speaks again.
“No one gets to hurt you now. You’re ours.”
After those words, he crushes his lips against Clint’s and Clint doesn’t worry about what was said earlier anymore, focuses on how they are making him feel. He ends up pulling on James’s shirt after a moment more of kissing.
“I want to see both of you now.”
“We can do that.”
Natasha says this and starts stripping off her clothes while James helps Clint get him out of his shirt. They all get on the bed then, more touching and kissing and Clint knows what is going to happen and all the ways he thought this would happen, he never quite thought it would be like this. He is with the two most beautiful people he has ever met and they are giving him all the attention he could want, kisses and touches and words of affection.
“So good, we’re going make you feel so good, you want that don’t you?”
James asks this now, brushes a kiss against his mouth again as Clint nods. Natasha smiles, trails a hand down to his hips and asks a question.
“How many people have you been with like this?”
Clint can feel himself blush a bit but he answers honestly.
“Like this? None. I have kissed and done other things, just haven’t done everything yet.”
It is the absolute truth, he has had some kissing and touches before but has never went all the way before. Just didn’t want to do it with someone he may never see again. Natasha just smiles at him as James brushes another kiss against his throat and speaks some words against it.
“Good, means you’re just ours, no one else gets you.”
There is a possessiveness in his voice but Clint doesn’t mind, just takes the next kiss he is offered. They keep touching and get him ready and soon enough, Natasha is on top of him, sliding him into her while James watches, places kisses against Clint’s forehead.
“I’ll get you next time, she called first dibs. We’ll work up to all of us at once.”
James says this and Clint just nods, likes the promise that there will be more times like this.
“I’ll set the pace, just move with me.”
Natasha says this now and Clint does as she tells him, moves against her. A rhythm starts and it is good, so good, and he settles his hands against her hips and he is still bit surprised at how cool her skin still feels to him but he doesn’t mind. Her skin is soft and the little moans she is making are one of the best things he has ever heard, just as good as the word James keeps saying right next to Clint.
“You two look so good together, just absolutely perfect.”
It doesn’t take long and then Natasha is letting out the best noises, clenching around Clint, and he can’t hold back much more, can feel himself coming. Natasha gives him a smile as she relaxes against him, places another kiss against his lips. She slides off of him after a moment and James brings out a washcloth and water and they clean up, both of them laying down by Clint again who feels just a bit sleepy. Natasha runs fingers through his hair now, brushes a kiss against his forehead.
“You can close your eyes, rest for a bit, will wake you up in about an hour, walk you back.”
James says this and Clint just gives a nod, closes his eyes. He doesn’t really remember falling asleep but he wakes up after a little while with a kiss against his throat, followed by a playful nip against his throat that stings just a little bit.
“Why are you biting me?”
Clint gets this out as he opens his eyes, turns and looks at James who just gives him a little smirk.
“You taste good, couldn’t help myself. You’ll survive. “
James says this and then gives Clint another kiss on his lips and Clint just accepts, doesn’t mind it too much.
“We should get you back now, don’t want people to worry.”
Natasha says this, helps Clint get up and they all get dressed. He feels a little shaky and sort of groggy but he still wouldn’t change anything about the night. They walk him back to the circus, each giving him a kiss before they leave and Clint still can’t quite believe his luck. Even seeing the bruise left on his throat the next day doesn’t dim how much he is looking forward to the next time.
^*^*^*
There is a new routine after that, every couple of weeks, they show up at Clint’s show and Clint goes with them after, spends several hours with them, gets his fill of them, and usually has some marks to show for it. It is good and he thinks maybe this could be a lasting thing, something to look forward to when he is done with the circus though Buck keeps talking about having big plans for the two of them but Clint thinks this may be better. Right now, he enjoys what he gets from them, is sitting in between them watching a movie at the current place they are staying and sharing a pizza with them though he hasn’t seen either of them eat any of it yet.
“You know I figured out why you looked so familiar to me at first the other day.”
He says this now, having just finished the last slice he is going to eat tonight, a commercial for a World War II documentary reminding him of it and James just grabs the back of his neck and gives a gentle squeeze as he speaks.
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“I used to be really into Captain America when I was younger, had the comics, looked up stuff about him at the library and he had a team, his best friend was on it. I had a crush on him a bit from his picture, he was really good looking. Bucky Barnes, you look a lot like him, longer hair and maybe a little rougher but a lot like him.”
James does look a lot like Bucky Barnes and if Clint remembers right, his real name was James too and James just looks at Clint right now before glaring just a little bit.
“Rougher?”
He asks, makes it sound like he is a little insulted and Clint just blushes a little bit as he tries to explain.
“It isn’t a bad thing, just meant you don’t look as wholesome hero as he did in the pictures in the books.”
“Don’t worry, James, I think Clint likes the roughness.”
Natasha says this with a little bit of a smirk, leans over Clint to give James a kiss who takes it and then she leans back. James turns to Clint now and just gives a smirk.
“That true? You like the roughness?”
He asks now and Clint doesn’t answer with words, just moves forward and claims James’s lips. Soon enough, the tv is forgotten and they end up in the bed and soon enough Clint is worn out and laying between them again, starting to drift off, can hear them talk softly though he isn’t really sure what they are talking about.
“We could do it now.”
That is Natasha and then James replies to her just as he starts to go to sleep for a bit.
“Be patient, we can wait a little longer.”
Clint wonders what they are waiting for but he figures it isn’t something he should worry about too much and he sleeps for a bit, wakes up after a couple of hours and heads back to the circus, leaves them for now.
^*^*^*
It has been about three weeks when they show up again, at a night show and Clint goes with them like he does every time, finds himself laying between them and he can’t help but feel his most content with them. Natasha has fingers in his hair while James has his metal fingers resting on Clint’s bare hips and he really wishes that he won’t have to leave them.
“You know, you could stay with us.”
Natasha says this now, like she could tell what he was thinking and he doesn’t know what to say, has been thinking about it. The circus has other acts now, they don’t really need him as much anymore, he hasn’t heard much from Barney since he joined the army, and Buck has been talking about leaving soon anyway, taking Clint with him. Clint doesn’t really want that, doesn’t trust the man anymore.
“We don’t plan on giving you up, want you in our world. Do you want that, Clint, want us forever?”
James asks now and Clint thinks about for only a moment before giving an answer.
“Yes, I want that but I need to go back first, get some things, let them know that I’m leaving. We’re going on a break soon anyway, now would be a good time to do it.”
He says this now, means it though he wonders if he is making the right decision. There is still a lot he doesn’t know about them, hell he hasn’t even seen them during the day, he doesn’t know how he is going to support himself out side the circus, but it feels like the right decision when Natasha leans forward and gives him a kiss. She pulls back after a moment and speaks.
“It will be different, a lot different, but we’ll take care of you. It will be worth it.”
The words sound like a promise and Clint believe it, believes them. James turns to him now, places fingers on the mark on Clint’s throat, the one that always seems to be there nowadays, and asks a question.
“Want us to come with you? “
Clint just shakes his head.
“I shouldn’t take too long maybe an hour or two. Should probably put on clothes though.”
James just gives him a bit of smirk now as he moves his fingers away.
“Clothes would be a good idea.”
Clint gets up and starts putting on his clothes and Natasha says one more thing as he gets ready to leave.
“If you don’t come back soon, we’ll come get you. See you soon.”
He just gives them one more smile before heading out. This is going to be a big change, he’ll have to grab his stuff, talk to Buck, he can talk to the rest of the circus later. Everything is going to be different soon but Clint thinks he is ready for it.
^*^*^*
Clint can feel wetness against his side, hurts everywhere, and he doesn’t think he is going to last too much longer. Just a while ago, he was planning on everything changing but he didn’t expect this to happen, to come back and most every one was gone except for Buck . Buck who had the circus’s money, Buck who had trained Clint and asked him to go with him, Buck who lashed out when Clint refused. Clint had expected the fists but he hadn’t expected the knife, hadn’t expected his mentor to stab him and leave him to die but that is just what is happening. He couldn’t stop him from leaving and all Clint can do now is try to find someone, to get out of here but he isn’t sure he is going to accomplish that, can feel darkness claiming his vision.
“Clint.”
He hears his name, feels cold hands on his face and it wakes him up. He isn’t where he was earlier, is back on a bed and James and Natasha are here, looking at him and he can see that it is Natasha’s hand on his face but it is stained red.
“There’s blood on your hands.”
The words come out when he realizes just why her hands are red and she gives a little nod as James speaks.
“It’s yours. You’ve been stabbed.”
“I know, I was there.”
Clint says this and maybe now is not the best time for sarcasm but he can’t help himself. Natasha sighs just a bit while James rolls his eyes and the moment feels a little lighter but then there is a fresh wave of pain when Clint moves slightly and it brings him back to just what is going on.
“It was Buck.”
He says it simply though the betrayal still hurts. James’s eyes darken now as he speaks.
“We’ll help you handle him but first we need to take care of you. Not how we were planning on this but it will have to do.”
Clint really has no idea what he is talking about but Natasha is stroking his cheek and Clint focuses on that, on how it feels.
“This is going to hurt but you’ll feel better later, better than you ever felt before, I promise.”
She says this and then leans down and Clint expects a kiss but instead she moves towards his neck, mouth clamping down and it hurts. Her teeth are somehow sharper than Clint remembers, tearing into his throat and it hurts so damn much and he is trying to move but she doesn’t let him, holds him down with ease .
“Shouldn’t have to take too much, you have already lost so much but we want to make sure this takes.”
James is saying this, the words making no sense and then he is biting into his own wrist, pulling away and Clint can blood on his lips sees blood on his wrist as Natasha pulls her mouth away, still not letting him move. The wrist is put in front of Clint’s mouth and he is wondering when his life became a horror movie.
“Forever, Clint, we know you want that.”
Natasha says this as the blood is put near his mouth and he tries to keep his mouth closed but James places his metal hand against Clint’s jaw, squeezes and Clint has no choice but to open his mouth. The blood is there, thick and salty, and Clint is panicking, trying not to swallow but it happens, it goes down his throat. It is salty and terrible and then something seems to shift, to change. It becomes sweet, sweet like brown sugar and honey and he doesn’t fight it coming into his mouth anymore, tries to draw in more. James smiles at him and moves his metal hand away from his jaw now, settles it into his hair instead, pets him and whispers encouragements.
“Good boy, you want it, we know you want it. We’ll give you what you need.”
Clint just keeps sucking down the blood, barely notices that Natasha isn’t holding him down anymore, is biting her own wrist. After a few more moments, James is pulling his wrist away and Clint is trying to grab it back, is only stopped by Natasha who offers him her own.
“Knew you would be greedy for it, want you to taste me too.”
He takes her wrist without thinking, tasting her just like he did James earlier. She tastes sweet, like he did but almost spicy, like cinnamon. He keeps drinking but he is starting to feel a bit sleepy, a bit like he needs to stop and Natasha pulls her wrist away now. He feels like he is drifting away, everything feels a bit numb, odd but they just lay down by him, hold him close.
“It’s ok, you can rest, it will take a little while but you’re going to feel better soon.”
The words sound like a promise and he closes his eyes, lets them hold him.
Clint wakes up to pain all over, like he is burning but he isn’t alone, they are both there, holding him and reassuring him.
“The pain doesn’t last too long, just let it happen.”
“It is ok to scream.”
Clint does scream, screams and cries but they wipe away his tears and places kisses against his hair and eventually darkness starts to claim him again and just as he does, he hears another promise.
“You’ll feel so much better when you wake. And we’ll have forever.”
Forever sound nice and Clint lets that thought reassure him as he gives into the darkness.
^*^*^*
“I can feel him, I know it worked, why isn’t he waking up?”
“You took longer than this, it will be fine”
Clint can hear their words, hears their voices, and he can feel himself waking up but it feels different, he feel different. Natasha had said he would feel better when he wakes up and he does, feels strong but there is something else there as well, something almost familiar but not quite. He opens up his eyes starts to sit up and he can feel both of them turn and look at him, feels how pleased they are, how relieved and he knows those feelings are coming from them and when Natasha leans forward, he leans into her touch.
“Are you hungry?”
The question comes from James and that is what he is feeling, hunger but it still seems different than what he felt before but he gives an answer.
“Yes, very. I don’t know what to do about it though.”
He says this, isn’t sure just what he needs but they said they would take care of him and he knows that they will. Natasha just smiles at him, gives him a brief kiss.
“We’ll teach you, sun’s not down yet, you’ll have to wait just a bit but we’ll show you everything. We have time.”
James says this now and the words are another promise, one he seals with a kiss, and Clint knows that this is the world that they were offering and he is ready to see it with them.