It's So Hard to Say Goodbye
For as long as Loki could remember, Thor had always been there. When they were younger, Thor had been his playmate and companion until Thor began to crave the company of his peers. Even then, there had been times between the two brothers where they hung out or did things together and the bond was tried but not broken. This day, when Thor would leave home without any contact with home had always loomed, a nebulous maybe and even now he is unsure of why this was happening.
But over the last six months, Thor had changed. There was a sadness that slowly took Thor, making him more and more nostalgic. And now, Loki almost felt guilty about anticipating the coming year of being out of Thor’s shadow and making his own place in school.
“Come on brother, if you keep your voice low, I will remember any number or address you give me and we can speak before your return.”
“I have told you, I cannot have any outside contact.” Thor replied sadly. The two of them passed the threshold of Loki’s attic room. “Now you behave yourself in my absence.”
“I am on the verge of telling Mother about your designs upon her position.” Loki joked before being pulled into a crushing hug. Loki was about to make another comment when he saw Thor about to cry. There was a universal sense of wrongness about his brother crying and Loki scrambled to find a way to stop it.
“I will miss you greatly Loki.” Thor said in a harsh whisper. Loki fought back his own tears and clung to Thor tightly, regretting that he was unable to stop his parents from forcing Thor into whatever was about to happen.
“Shh, it will be alright. A year isn’t that long Thor and you’ll be home before you know it.” Maybe it was the coming absence, maybe it was a product of being too close to Thor all the time or maybe there was more to too many moments when his imagination was a little too vivid. If Thor asked, Loki would lie about why, citing that Thor’s crying brought him back to more innocent times but Loki inhaled Thor’s scent deeply and shushed him before kissing him softly on the cheek. Both stilled and Loki wished that time would just stop, so that he wouldn’t have to deal with beyond this moment, that he wouldn’t have to leave this moment.
“Loki..thank you.” Thor said, tears welling in his eyes. Loki could do nothing but give him a reassuring nod in return.
“Go on Thor, Father always hates when you are late. I look forward to your return.” Loki said before Thor turned and stepped beyond the door. This door had locks on the inside and Loki reluctantly turned them shut. He listened as Thor slowly made his way downstairs and closed the door at the foot of the stairs, and then the turning of the locks below. Now he was sealed in his tower until tomorrow. Loki sighed and quickly crossed over to the window to watch the family car pull away and ponder the same questions that always filled his mind on nights when he was locked in the attic.
Without really thinking Loki fired up the laptop that sat on his desk and opened his chat program to see which of his friends were on. Victor, unsurprisingly, was not on, neither were Verity nor Lorelei. Janet, however was on.
“Well, if nothing else, she will not let me dwell too much on things.” Loki said to himself with a slight chuckle and clicked her name.