[Un]Expected Introductions
It took her a while, but eventually Adeline settled on a playlist titled “Good Time.” The opening notes of Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time” rang through the car’s speakers, and Sage gasped delightedly.
“I love this song!”
“I know.” Adeline smiled at her lovingly, eyes soft.
“You know?”
The brunette gave her girlfriend an unimpressed look. “You and Riesling hae a habit of belting it in the hallways.”
Sage flushed and giggled slightly. “Right. We do do that.”
“You do.” Adeline grinned, her nose scrunching up, and God, did Sage want to kiss her.
“Alright, as much as I love aimless driving, where are we headed, girls?”
Sage looked to Addy. “Froyo?”
Adeline nodded. “Froyo.”
“Froyo it is.” Sam smiled at the two in the rearview mirror. “Are you alright with it if I tell Jason to meet us ther?”
Sage shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
“Go ahead. I’d love to meet this boyfriend that you didn’t tell Sage about.”
Sam groaned. “Sage! I thought we were good.”
“We are! I just get Superior Sibling points because you met Addy on, like, our second date. You didn’t have to wait nine months to meet her.”
“It was five!”
“I could have had a child in the amount of time it took you to introduce me to your boyfriend!”
“Five months, Sage! Five months! Not nine!”
Adeline laughed out loud at the pair. “Are you guys sure that you’re not blood related.”
“I wish.”
“Yeah, he wishes.”
“Hey!”
Sage cackled, grabbing the front seats and hauling herself forward to press a kiss to Sam’s cheek. “Love you.”
“You need to be buckled.”
“I am!”
“You need to tighten your seat belt. And don’t pull on my seat.”
The blonde rolled her eyes, stage whispering to Adeline, “I think he’s a fifty-three year old grandfather.”
“What the hell kind of grandparents you got that are fifty-three?!”
Adeline giggled at them.
---
“Hi! I’m Jason. You… might’ve known that already. At any rate, now you know for sure. Adeline?”
The brunette looked surprised at the hand that was thrust toward her, but shook it, afterward turning to Sage. “Are you sure he’s not just a human sized puppy?” She whispered, lacing their fingers together as the boys wandered over to the frozen yogurt.
“You know, I was. Now I’m not so sure. Maybe he’s been here for a while already and he’s on a sugar high.” The two giggled at the thought and reluctantly let go of each other to get their own froyo.
“Hey, you two! My treat. Don’t sneakily pay for your own.” Sam made sure that the girls both nodded in assent. “It’s important to seem supportive, you see,” he said to Jason in a wise old man voice, “Because it will lull the children into a false sense of security. And then once they believe that you truly support their relationship… You can prove them right!” He grinned as Jason started laughing at him, heart warming at the sight of his happy boyfriend.
“So, Jason. How long did it take you to get Sam to sleep with you?”
“Sage!”
“So, Adeline. How long did it take before Sage told you that she has the biggest girl crush on Riesling?”
“Samuel!”
“What?” The siblings both turned to their respective significant others looking confused.
“Tact.”
“Respect, you nuthead.” Jason rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry about him.”
“I’m sorry about her.” Adeline grinned at him. “I think we’re gonna end up good friends, Jason.”
“Same here.”
---
Peter was humming when Deadpool dropped on the roof beside him that day, and the mercenary - much to his own chagrin - thought he recognized the song.
“Green Day, Spidey? Really? I didn’t realise you were so punk rock.”
Peter rolled his eyes, though he knew the man couldn’t see it. “Pool, Green Day is pop punk. God. Get with the times.”
“Shit, Spidey. Where did that attitude come from? You’ve been spending too much time with Stark.”
Peter fought the urge to roll his eyes again and instead shoved at the mercenary playfully. “It wasn’t Green Day, actually. It was a parody. Weird Al.”
Wade gasped. “Spidey! You wouldn’t!”
“What?”
”Canadian Idiot? I’m thoroughly offended!”
“Sage’s the one who introduced me to it.” Peter mumbled, words muffled even more by his mask.
“Hmm? What was that? Sage was it? Just who is this girl that you’re probably dating and is definitely a bad influence?”
“Bad influence? Really?”
“She taught you a song that bashes Canada! She must be a bad influence!”
“She isn’t my girlfriend. We’re just friends! Besides, Mister Stark would probably never let us-” His eyes went wide, and Peter clapped his hands over his mouth. “I didn’t say that! You- you didn’t hear a word I just said! Please don’t tell Mister Stark, he’ll kill me. He hates you so much, and if he finds out I told you about his daughter- SHIT!”
Deadpool burst out laughing, nearly falling off the rooftop. “Don’t worry, Spidey. Your secret crush is safe with me.”
“I’m not- She- she has a girlfriend!”
“Whatever you say.”
---
“Hey, Iron Asshole.”
Tony nearly jumped out of his goddamn skin when Deadpool greeted him from the top of his fridge. “What the hell, Wade.”
“Hello to you too, great to see you again. Been a while.”
“You need to get the fuck out of my tower.”
“Why? You don’t wanna catch up? Will I make the new hubby jealous?”
“Please.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Because you have so much to offer me that Loki doesn’t.”
“Exactly! A charming personality, have you seen this rockin’ bod? I mean-”
“Pool, seriously, you have to leave. Now.”
Deadpool narrowed his eyes at the billionaire, noting that the other man looked vaguely panicked and beginning to hear music coming from… somewhere.
Tony needed to get Deadpool out of the tower immediately, because Sage could not meet Wade. The girl had taken to having JARVIS stream music to wherever she was lately - and by lately, he meant ever since she’d gotten home from her latest date with Adeline - which meant that as she traipsed about the tower, there was always music following her. Thankfully, right now, that meant that Tony had a warning and a chance to get Wade to leave before Sage walked in, and-
They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packing heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
Tony groaned as the song ventured close enough to distinguish the lyrics and Sage burst into the kitchen, rocking an intense air guitar solo.
“Oh my god, she is so precious.”
The girl looked up, startled, and gaped at the sight of the man sitting on their fridge. “Holy fucking shit.”
“That’s the reaction women usually have to me.”
Tony and Sage both loudly voiced their displeasure at that statement, and Wade looked into the middle distance with a put upon sigh. The comment had gone too far. But it wasn’t his fault!
“Okay, my bad. But jeezus kiddo, whaddya have against Canada? I think I should be greatly offended on behalf of my great country.”
“Oh my god, you’re Canadian?”
Wade gave another flat stare at the middle distance, and Sage turned to see if he was looking at something in particular.
“Are you pretending to be on the office?”
“No, but I do like that. I’m just… really, very disappointed in this author, I mean, everyone knows I’m from Canada. You really think this sweet ass could come from anywhere else?’
Sage gave him an unimpressed glare. “Have you never seen Chris Pine?”
“Which one is he? I can never keep them apart. Was that the blonde one in that superhero movie where he played a character named Steve and died by crashing a plane for America in World War II?” Another glance at the middle distance, and-
“No, I’m not going to leave you alone, you know full well that Pine is one of the worst Chrises, you sick fuck. He’s the only one left, but it’s your universe, you’re allowed to take liberties! I mean, really.” Now the mercenary gave Sage what would have been a meaningful glance if anyone had been able to interpret his expression behind his mask. Such a tragedy that neither Sage nor Tony had that skill.
“Who the frickity frack are you talking to?” Sage looked vaguely alarmed now, realising that whoever Deadpool thought he was talking to was clearly not in the room.
“Do you see why I didn’t want you to meet him Sage? Guy’s crazier than a mental hospital.”
“Oh, zip it, Iron Giant. She knows I was talking to her.”
“Me?” Sage pointed to herself, looking more and more confused.
‘No. Her.” He winked at Sage before scrambling off of the fridge. “Anyway, I just wanted to swing by. See all the kiddos. See what fuckups had happened to the timeline. Tell Spidey hi from me, if you see him. Let Hawkeye know that I was here and I left him a present.”
“Wade Wilson, if you left a bomb in my tower, so help me god-”
“It’s not a bomb, Fuckface McGee. It’s just a present. Oh, and tell Pikachu I said hi. Miss those wondrous abs of his. Gotta blast!” He shot Sage a mock salute and did a swan dive through one of Tony’s floor-to-ceiling windows.
“Jesus Christ, that man drives me to drink.” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face a groaned, leaning on the counter as if in need of support. “Avoid him, Sage. At all costs, do you hear me?”
“Yeah. Sure.” She offered Tony a bright smile and privately wondered just who the hell it was that Deadpool had been having a conversation with.