An Attempted Apologia
From Sage: I’m sorry.
From Sage: That had to be the first thing I told you, because anything else is unfair to you. This is my fault. I accept that. I would like to apologise and try to explain. If you don’t forgive me, I will accept that, too, and move on, but please allow me to try.
Adeline rolled her eyes at the text messages, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. God, this girl wouldn’t give up, would she?
From Sage: The comment I made was completely and utterly out of line. I did not mean it the way it came across.
From Sage: That comment was rooted in years and years of an ingrained belief that highschool relationships never amount to anything, be they romantic or platonic. A belief that dating should only be performed with an endgoal of marriage. A belief that dating should never be done lightly, and that it should not be done until both people are out of highschool.
From Sage: That belief is bullshit. Just because highschool relationships are early, doesn’t mean that they won’t last. Just because we’re starting this now does not mean that we aren’t willing to be committed and see it through. Just because dating is serious does not mean that it can’t also be fun, and amazing, and not so damn heavy.
Where was this going?
From Sage: I fucked up the other day. I never once meant to insinuate that I didn’t think that our relationship was any less real than my parents’ relationship. I never once meant to hurt you like I did. I was trying to have a joke, and I took it much too far.
From Sage: I’m so so sorry for that.
From Sage: There’s no dating handbook. No guide to tell you ‘this is going to far’ and somedays, I really really wish that there was, because oh boy would I need it.
Adeline laughed a little at that, even as tears ran down her cheeks.
From Sage: I hurt you. I take responsibility for that, and I’m sorry.
From Sage: I like you. A lot. I might even… more than like you, and that’s a scary thought.
From Sage: Not because of you, but because of me. If this is what I’m like when I only like you, I’m terrified of what I could accidentally do if I… more than like you.
Adeline’s heart gave a little lurch, and a warm feeling started spreading from her chest.
From Sage: I’m going to try to apologise properly on Monday.
From Sage: Maybe not with words, because I will start crying, and then it feels like emotional manipulation.
From Sage: But I will apologise, and if you aren’t willing to forgive me, then I will accept that and move on, no matter how much it breaks my heart, because I did this. It’s my fault, and I understand if you can’t forgive me.
She sighed heavily, and sent back a response.
To Sage: That had better be one hell of a nonverbal apology.
---
“Dad, I need your help.”
Tony looked up from what he was working on at the sound of Sage’s voice. “What’s up, Buttercup?”
She rolled her eyes fondly and bit her lip. “Adeline and I got into a fight. I… It was my fault, and now I need to put together a bouquet of flowers that says ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I love you’, and ‘please don’t hate me’ all at once.”
“Man, that is one chatty bouquet.”
“Daaaad! This is important! If you’re not going to take it seriously, I’ll just go ask Steve.”
“No! I’m sorry, I’ll be serious.” He held up his hands placatingly and gestured her forward. “Come on, we can research flower meanings.”
Hours of research later, they decided on a bouquet of purple hyacinths, crysanthemums, violets, and hilighted with baby’s breath. It symbolised asking for forgiveness, honesty, sapphic affection, and love. Tony also insisted on ordering a veritable tower of chocolates from a gourmet chocolate shop in Fort Wayne, Indiana to go with it.
Sage almost argued with him on that, but then she decided that if Tony was supporting her efforts to get back together with Adeline and he wanted to buy her (ex?) girlfriend hella expensive chocolate then she wouldn’t complain.
“Thank you, Daddy.” She leaned her cheek against his shoulder, letting her eyes slip closed with exhaustion. “It’s been… a rough week.”
“Yeah, no kidding. First you get a fever, and then you have a spat with your girlfriend? The universe is after you, kiddo.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I should probably go do my homework. Thank you again for your help.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
---
Would it be cowardly to leave the bouquet and chocolate in front of Adeline’s locker and run? Yes, yes it would. Was Sage very tempted to do it anyway? She groaned, leaning her head against the wall of the foyer as she waited for Adeline to walk through the front doors. Yes, she really, really was.
“Is that noise because you’ve forgotten something or because you already know that I’ve no intention of forgiving you?”
Sage sprang to attention at the sound of Adeline’s voice, eyes going wide at what she’d said, currently unable to tell if it was a joke or not. “I- I’m- I’m really, really sorry. I- uh. Here.” She held up the flowers and the chocolate, desperately hoping that the other girl would just take them and reject her to put her out of her misery.
Adeline arched a dark eyebrow and surveyed the offerings appraisingly. She slowly took both, taking a deep breath before looking up at Sage. “Whether you meant it or not, it really hurt me when you said that we weren’t in a real relationship, but at this point, I’m already halfway in love with you, and I don’t know if I can protect myself if you do something like that again.”
“If I ever do something like that again, please slap me across the face.”
Adeline laughed softly, tearing up slightly. “I’m not… fully forgiving you. You’ll have to work a bit harder for that, but this is a start. A good one. You’re allowed to talk to me again.”
“Oh, thank God.”