A Crack Interlude
“So I've been doing a little digging.”
Steve rolled his eyes. Sage was at a friend's house - Reisling, if he remembered correctly - and so Tony had called an "Emergency Avengers Debrief”. When they'd walked into the room, a picture was pulled up on the holoscreen, and it didn't take anyone long to figure out who it was."Tony, is this really necessary? Didn't Sage even say it was only a potential interest?" His inquiry was met with ten identical glares, so he lifted his hands in surrender. "Alright, fine. But quit accusing me of being stuck in the forties. Christ.”
"As we were saying," Tony side-eyed Steve pointedly, "We're gathered here today to discuss Aerin," he pulled out a clicker, and the picture switched, "A potential date mate of Sage's.”
He had a PowerPoint about this kid. Steve was going to cry.
"They are nineteen they're currently going to Harvard Law on a full ride academic scholarship. How is their customer service?”
"Quite pleasant.” Thor spoke up, a grin on his face, "They recognized me and created a drink named after me on the spot and refused to allow me to pay for it. Delightful person.”
Tony nodded, a contemplative frown on his face. "Bruce?”
“They were accommodating. Quite good at making a cup of tea. Very good at keeping an eye out for when I needed a refill.”
“Interesting.” Tony began typing in a StarkPad. “Super spies? What about you?”
“I like them. Nat ordered the most complicated drink I've ever heard and I picked a fight with some dude. They were really polite about kicking me out. Made Nat’s drink perfectly.”
Phil nodded. “I stuck around after both of them left, and the kid didn't complain about either of them to anyone.”
“I see.” He made a few more notes, and turned to Bucky. “Killer Bee?”
“They're not intimidated by the Murder Stride.”
“Dammit.”
“Tony!”
“Oh, lay off, Cap. Superspeed and Wiccan, gimme something good.”
Pietro shrugged. “I've tried ordering from then at a minor high speed before, and they kept up just fine so they must be an extremely quick processor. That indicates intelligence.”
“The only time I've ever sensed anything even remotely unpleasant from them was when an older gentleman came in one day, being openly and loudly homophobic. They were vaguely contemptful, and even then it was on behalf of the young lesbian couple sitting in the corner.”
“Okay. Lokes?”
“I have visited that coffee shop at all hours of the day, wearing all manner of shape, size, skintone, and accent and Aerin has never treated me differently no matter what form I wear. what say you to that, my love?"
Tony sighed, eyes frantically scanning the StarkPad. He looked up at the rest of the team with a grimace. "I cannot find a single thing wrong with this kid. I think that if they want to date Sage and Sage wants to date them, so long as the two of them come to us about it, I don't know that we have grounds to say no.”
Steve groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "I can't believe you people.”