Chapter 12
When you woke up, the bed was empty and your heart dropped. You took a deep breath and pressed your face against the pillow as you prayed for the sleep to consume you again. The bed dipped behind you and a cool arm pulled your close.
"I thought you left," Your fingertips danced on the metal arm
"Not again," Bucky whispered
"I can't keep losing you," You turned to face him
You tucked a stray hair behind his ear and caressed the rough cheek with a growing shadow. Bucky's eyes didn't seem so dull anymore and his cheeks were rosy.
Is he blushing? You thought to yourself and a smile crept across your lips
"What?" He looked at your soft smile as his gaze flicked from your eyes to your lips
"You're blushing," You pointed out, "Why?"
"Because I got a beautiful dame in my bed," He spoke softly and you kissed the tip of his nose
"It's my bed," You reminded him and he smirked as he nodded
You knew that you were saying it far too many times but no matter how many times you did tell Bucky that you loved him or that you missed him, it just didn't seem enough.
"I missed you," You breathed and he nodded again
"I know," He swallowed, "I'm sorry for leaving. If I hadn't gone to war, none of this would've happened,"
"We would've been old," You laughed
"We could've been grandparents," He whispered and you sobered up instantly as he pulled out the chain that was around your neck, "You kept it,"
"Why didn't you tell me when you knew who I was?" You couldn't help it as the words slipped from your lips
Bucky sat up and you rested your chin on his shoulder. There was a comfortable silence as he gathered his thoughts to explain why he hadn't told you.
"Why so quiet?" You nudged Bucky as he sat at the edge of the bed
His back was hunched and the sheets were draped across his lap. His short hair was messy and your nail marks streaked over his shoulders. The sun was filtering through the curtains and it was serene.
"Just thinkin'," Bucky looked at your over his shoulder with a smirk
"About?" You cocked a brow as you softly traced the marks on his back
"Things," He chuckled and you got the hint that he was thinking about something he didn't want to bother you with
You fell back into the bed with a soft bounce and Bucky turned to face you. His hand caressed your face as he leaned down and kissed you but when he pulled away, he had a sad smile on his face.
"What's wrong?" You frowned as you saw him avoiding your eyes
"I've been drafted," He took a deep breath and you world stopped
No, no, no, no, You chanted in your head
"Whe-," Your throat was too dry to speak
"Two weeks from tomorrow," He almost whispered and tears were forming in your eyes too
"Does Steve know," You decided to ask instead of Why?
"No," He shook his head as he sighed, "Punk's gonna want to come too," He breathed a chuckle and you smiled too
"End of the line," You mimicked Bucky and he laughed as he moved you over to get back into bed
"Bucky," You broke the silence and he looked at you over his shoulder
In that moment, he seemed so young and without trauma.
"I left you," He finally spoke
"You had a duty to your country," You reminded him
"The country that did this to me?" He held up his arm, "My country turned on me when they didn't let me die,"
You chest tightened but you knew he was right. He'd gone to war, he was ready to die for his country and it turned on him by stripping him of his choice to do so. Bucky took a deep breath again.
"I didn't tell you because," He began, "I didn't know if you still wanted me,"
"Bucky..." You tried but he shook his head
"Should've known better," He had a soft smirk on his face, "You took me in, you gave me everything I need and... I left,"
"It was for Steve," You pointed out, "I know you'd follow that boy into hellfire and boast about it too,"
"Boy?" He cocked a brow
"Oh, hush," You rolled your eyes, "I'm older than both of you together,"
"I always love older women," Bucky stated and you laughed, "I'm sorry for doubting you," He turned towards you as he held your face gently, "I shouldn't have doubted your heart,"
You smiled, "Forgiven,"
Bucky and you were doing better. It had been almost a month since he'd come to your room and he'd stayed the night. Steve had decided to grow a beard and it was always a conversation point. Nothing went further than a few kisses and cuddles between you and Bucky but you were content with it because at least you were together.
Another month passed and Steve was sporting a full beard. Sam kept making fun of him with Clint even though they knew that it looked pretty fucking good.
"Steve, you look stupid," Clint sighed, "Y/N, please tell Steve that he looks stupid!"
You laughed loudly as everyone passed judgment on Steve's beard at lunch. Wanda was indifferent to it and Scott loved everything Steve did. However, Sam and Clint weren't having any of it.
"He's right, you know," Sam pointed out, "It looks dumb,"
"Come on," Scott began, "It looks dope!"
"And Bucky also said it looks nice," Steve tried to defend himself
"Stevie," You finally spoke, "You could die your hair pink and wear a tutu and Bucky would still think you look fine,"
Sam and Clint roared with laughter and Steve swore under his breath, which made the three of you shout "Language!"
"That was one time!" Steve groaned
"Hey," Bucky whispered as he wrapped his arms around your waist as you moved around your bedroom
He was wearing a glove on his left hand because he still wasn't okay with having the metal arm. Half of his things were in your room but T'Challa had made it point that Bucky was to slowly move into your room with his own volition.
"Tell me something," You asked and he nodded as he kissed your shoulder, "Do you like Steve's beard?"
Bucky snorted a laugh and you smirked as you elbowed him, "Come on, tell me,"
"Punk looks like a fuckin' punk," He chuckled and you wiggled out of his hold as you dragged him with you, "Where?"
"I'm going for dinner and you can't hide away in this room forever," You pointed out and he brought the puppy eyes, "No, no, no," Bucky frowned, "James," You warned and he suddenly stopped, "You can't hide away. It's been two months, you need to meet everyone,"
Bucky hadn't eaten with everyone in the lounge, still. It was mostly just you, him and Steve but you wanted him to see everyone and meet them too. In that way, perhaps his healing process could move faster.
"I already know them," Bucky scoffed and you rolled your eyes
"Please?" You looped your arms around his neck, "And we'll come back as soon as you like,"
He nodded and you kissed him.
"Well, well," Sam shouted, "Babygirl decided to show her pretty face!" He then saw Bucky following you, "And her man's ugly mug,"
"Oh, you just wish it was you who was in my bed," You laughed and Steve rolled his eyes
"Every night, babygirl, every night," Sam winked and Bucky squeezed your hand a little too tight
"Careful," You looked at him, "Don't worry about Sam, he flirts with everyone,"
"Doesn't flirt with me," Bucky mumbled and you giggled
"Oh, are we jealous?" You smirked and Bucky groaned as he looked away
"Buck!" Steve called him over the table where Wanda and Scott were seated
You nodded and gave him a little push. He soon joined Steve with Wanda and Scott, whereas Clint was already by your side.
"So, how long until Cap has to bleach his eyes?" Clint whispered and you gasped
"You asshole!" You scolded Sam who doubled over laughing
"Babygirl, how could I not tell him?" Sam smirked and you rolled your eyes
"Fuckin' children," You stated as the two men kept laughing
"But, no," Sam finally caught his breath, "He doin' better now?"
"He's getting there," You sighed, "The nightmares are really bad. He's fighting a losing battle because he can't run from himself,"
"What about you?" Clint cocked a brow
"What about me?" You looked at the both of them
"Everything going alright with you?" Clint asked the obvious question
"I'm good," You said softly as you looked at Bucky
Bucky was smiling and Wanda was laughing as Steve told a story with animated gestures. He turned and stole a glance and you knew that you'd love him no matter what. Even if it meant going against the world, you would be with him through it all.
"Damn," Sam stated, "I know that look,"
"What look?" Your brows furrowed
"The look where you want him to throw you against a wall," Clint shrugged, "The sexual kind of throwing,"
"You two are insufferable," You sighed
"Babygirl," Sam nudged you, "Let me get you laid,"
"Excuse me?" You cocked a brow
"Follow my lead, sweetheart," Sam kissed your cheek as looped his arm around yours and guided you towards the dining table
"What are-," You started but then understood Sam's strategy
You didn't want to piss Bucky off but you would be lying if you said that you weren't curious as to how this could turn out.
"Y/N," Bucky began but Sam made you sit next to him, across Bucky
"Sorry, Barnes," Sam shrugged, "You've kept babygirl away for far too long,"
"She has a name," Bucky almost growled as he stared at Sam, who seemed completely unbothered
"He's just trying to get a rise out of you, Buck," Steve explained
Wanda looked at Sam but soon realized what he was doing so she too didn't say anything. A rush of energy passed through everyone except Bucky.
Sam is trying to Y/N laid, Wanda's voice echoed in everyone's head expect Bucky's, who needlessly noticed you blushing and everyone smirking softly
"Somethin' going on?" Bucky looked around and you shrugged
"I don't know," You lied as you dug into your plate
The evening seemed to pass by painfully slow as Sam had his arm over your chair and everyone was joking, whereas Bucky's eyes never strayed from Sam. Sam would lean in occasionally and whisper literally nothing in your ear and telling you to laugh. You never laughed but you would smile involuntarily because you were feeling so childish with the whole facade but it was also pretty funny.
"Bucky, tell them it doesn't look bad," Steve tried to get his best friend's help
"What?" Bucky's attention wavered from you and Sam as he looked at Steve
"My beard," Steve pointed out, "You said it looked nice,"
"It looks fine," Bucky mumbled and when he turned, he saw you laughing with Clint talking to you in hushed tones
When your eyes met his, they were practically on fire
"Can we?" Bucky almost begged and you nodded
"Alright," You stood up with a stretch, "Wanda, boys," You smiled, "I'll see-," Before you could finish your sentence, Bucky was already dragging you along and you were halfway out of the room
"You okay?" You asked Bucky but he only grunted and your heart dropped
Sam, I'm going to kill you, You promised yourself if Bucky got angry
"Bucky," You repeated and he stopped right in front of your bedroom door, "What's going on?"
"Do you want him?" Bucky's voice was dangerously low and you looked at him with confusion, "Wilson. Do. You. Want. Him?"
"Bucky, I don't know what's gotten into you but fine, I'll play along," You twisted your wrist out of his grip, "No, I don't want anyone. No one but you. When will you stop questioning it?"
When he didn't answer you just sighed and opened the door. Bucky followed closely as you entered. You took off your shoes and there was an uneasy silence in the room. It had a heaviness that you couldn't place. You reminded yourself to give Sam a talking to because his plan to make Bucky jealous was backfiring in a huge way.
"Are you going to stay the night?" You asked as you went to the bathroom but Bucky didn't answer
You looked at yourself in the mirror and took a deep breath. Why is everything so tense? You just couldn't understand.
When you walked out of the bathroom, that's when you decided to thank Sam because suddenly, the wind was knocked out of you as Bucky pressed against you and kissed you with a ferocity that you hadn't felt in decades.
He tasted like the dinner you'd had a while ago and his hands were holding your waist so tightly that you knew bruises were going to litter your body the next day. You moaned into his mouth and he smirked into the kiss. Your body was growing hot under his touch and the wall behind you seemed suffocating as Bucky's knee applied pressure between your legs. Your hands found their way into his hair as you held on for dear life.
Possessive Bucky was an aggressive lover and you remembered it like it was just yesterday. However, this Bucky also had the Winter Soldier in him, so, it should've scared you, god, it should've scared you so much but it didn't. It only made you more wanting of him.
"Buck," You groaned as you pulled away to breathe but his teeth dug into your neck, biting and licking, soothing and painful in the same touch
"Mine," He growled and you swallowed
"Yours," You nodded and his hands went below your hips, pulling you up, whereas you wrapped your legs around his thick torso instantly
You could feel him growing hard between your legs and he was in sweats, so, the tent was becoming exceptionally prominent as the minutes passed by. Your back was pressed against the wall and Bucky was holding you up. Your breaths were laboured already as he left a trail of hickeys down your neck. You suddenly felt the cool air on your back as he carried your towards the bed and you fell into the softness of the mattress with a bounce.
Your eyes swept over him. Bucky's eyes were almost black, all colour had been consumed by his growing lust. It had been a while for you since you'd been romantically involved with anyone but you had never even thought how long it had been for Bucky. A decade? Two? Maybe even more.
You arched your back as you pulled off your shirt and Bucky's fingers hooked at your pants. With one swift motion, your legs and core were bare. Your knees were closed because honestly, it felt like the first time. Bucky's eyes drank in your image as you propped yourself on your elbows and cocked a brow.
"Like what you see?" You commented and you could've sworn that you heard him growl
"Fuckin' love it," He groaned as he took off his shirt and peeled off the glove him his left hand
You were practically dripping at the sight of the metal fingers. You wanted them inside you, the cool metal touching your deepest parts, curling against your walls. You bit your lip he almost ripped off his sweats and you swallowed visibly.
"I missed this," You smirked as you stared at his swollen member
Bucky chuckled breathily as he climbed over you and captured your lips in another feverish kiss. You moaned into his mouth and wrapped your legs around his waist. You could feel him poking at your centre as you ached for him.
"Please," You pleaded as he kissed down your neck
He tweaked your peaks of your breasts between his fingers and you shivered as he kissed and licked your stomach, trailing lower, lower, and lower. You head rolled back as the cool metal touched your core and a moan escaped your throat. Bucky bent your knee over his shoulders and almost devoured your core. His warm tongue and the cool metal, the temperature differences made you overload with sensations.
Your legs were shaking with pleasure as your thighs pressed together and squeezed his head. The stubble was creating a friction as you began to ride and before you knew it, your first orgasm was washing off in waves. Your hands went to Bucky's hair, instinctually pulling him up and kissing him fiercely. You could taste yourself on his lips, it was almost tart but you didn't care.
A string of words was leaving your lips that sounded something like a plea, begging for him but your body was still buzzing with orgasmic bliss that Bucky had bestowed upon you.
"I don't wanna hurt you," He whispered as he pulled away to breathe, "I'm stronger, I could... I could hurt you,"
"Fuck me already!" You growled as you pulled him closer and kissed him harshly
It was a mix of teeth and tongue with a sting on your lips along with the taste of copper, "Please, Bucky," You gasped and he filled you with one motion
It was the serum, he was bigger than your body remembered him to be. You felt like you could be split into two but god, it was so good and then he moved. Bucky started slow, pushing into you completely after he would pull out entirely; touching you deep inside with every thrust. Your breath was caught in your throat as your nails dug into his shoulders. Bucky's right hand pulled your leg up, wrapping it around his waist as he bit into your neck and licking to sooth the forming bruise.
Suddenly, you felt yourself being lifted from the mattress. Bucky's back was pressed against the bedhead as he pulled you into his lap and the new angle let him touch your sweet spot with every movement. His left arm wrapped around your waist, helping you ride him as you knees were far too weak to do it by yourself. You breathed and chanted his name like a prayer as his thumb found your clit.
Another wave of pleasure began to build in your stomach. A coil tightening to severely that it was threatening to break at any given moment. You clenched around Bucky's length and he nears his climax as well. His pace got sloppy and the sound of throaty moans along with skin slapping against skin filled the room, almost echoing with every thrust.
You came again and as soon as you were coming down from your high, you felt Bucky finish deep inside you. His warmth filled you so perfectly that your body quivered again. Your knees gave out and you collapsed against him, breathing in his musk as sweat shined on both of you.
As you caught your breath and Bucky pulled out of, he lied you down gently and got off the bed. Your eyes were glazed over and your body was still shivering with bliss. Bucky came back and cleaned you up before you tucking you in. He slipped into the bed next to you and pulled you close to himself.
"I missed you," His voice was barely a whisper, "I'm not gonna lose you again,"
You nodded as you felt too weak to speak and you didn't trust your voice. A loud knock echoed through the room and you were suddenly wide awake. Bucky pulled on his sweats and you held the sheets to your chest as you sat up to see who it was.
Bucky opened the door to see Steve and Sam standing at the door.
"What's going on?" Bucky's eyes darted from Steve to Sam
"First of all," Sam began, "Cat-man hasn't given us soundproof rooms,"
Your face burned with embarrassment as you realized that you weren't exactly quiet and Bucky cleared his throat as he looked at Steve
"That all?" Bucky stated with calmness even though his ears were red
"No," Steve began, "Tony called," He took a deep breath, "Something big is comin'. We need to gather,"
"For fuck's sake!" You screamed as you fell back into bed
The universe seriously owed you a break.