Chapter 7
You stared at Bucky's sleeping form for what seemed hours. It reminded you so much of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty because of the chamber in which he was kept, waiting to be awakened. You could only see his face through the frosted glass. His vitals were being monitored and all the others in the lab had only given you a glance before getting on with their work
Tishala stood behind, patiently waiting for you.
"How long has he been here?" Your voice was broken
"He was put to sleep a week after he arrived," She explained and your heart broke
Steve knew about this but still, he brought you here. Your skin was growing hotter by the second and you were blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill.
"I see Steve told you about his friend," T'Challa entered and saw you in the lab
When you finally met his eyes, his face fell. You weren't just feeling hot, you were beginning to emit heat and your eyes were glassy with tears building up.
"He didn't tell me anything," Your voice was barely a whisper
"Excuse us," T'Challa spoke loudly and everyone nodded to leave; soon enough, it was just you and T'Challa in the lab along with Bucky in his chamber
You sunk down to your knees and the tears fell like raindrops as you cried your heart out
"I'm tired of this," You gasped, "Enough. I can't go on forever,"
T'Challa's posture was firm but his eyes spoke another story. He looked at you, unsure if he was to be a good man or a good king. He chose the former and sat on the chair beside the chamber. You cried until your eyes dried up. You leaned against the icy glass of the chamber as your bloodshot eyes swept over the lab. Your chest heaved as you took deep breaths and tried to control yourself so you wouldn't blow up the entire floor.
"I wanted to grow old with him," You finally spoke, "He was supposed to be my end,"
"The heart makes one do strange things," T'Challa mused and you sighed as you pulled out the chain and stared at the ring that Bucky had given you a lifetime ago
"I had a daughter, you know," You spoke of her for the first time in far too long, "She died within a year but for that brief moment in time, I loved someone more than I cared for myself,"
"Did you have a family?" T'Challa's voice was soft
"Of course I did," You breathed, "Everyone has a family," You twisted your fingers in your lap, "I had a mother and a father, like everyone else,"
"But do you remember them?" His question wasn't surprising but it did catch you off guard
"I remember some things," You confessed, "It was a long time ago," You breathed, "I might've been around for a while but I'm still human. I don't remember everything,"
T'Challa took a breath to speak but the door burst open as Steve rushed towards you
"You," You growled as your hands glowed and Steve's eyes went wide with shock
"Now," T'Challa's voice warned you, "You do not want to do this here,"
You stared at Steve as your eyes glowed with the King standing between the two of you
"Give her time," He spoke softly as you avoided Steve's gaze
Steve's jaw tightened as he nodded and left the room, looking back to you a few times and T'Challa sat down again
"How much do you know?" He met your eyes and you shook your head, "About the Accords,"
"Nothing, really," Your voice was hoarse, "Just what the news mentioned,"
"Perhaps it is for the better that you speak to Captain Rogers," He stated and you looked him with defiance, "I understand your distrust of him but you must speak to clear a lot of things. Including why Sergent Barnes asked to be put to sleep,"
"He asked?" You couldn't believe your ears but T'Challa nodded and your eyes fell to the floor
You hugged your knees as you pulled away from the glass of the chamber. The cold was seeping into your bones. He offered your his hand so you could stand and a part of you understood the treatment that you were getting from T'Challa. He respected you; for your age, for your life and for the deaths you had seen along with the parts you had played.
"Tishala is waiting for you outside," He explained and you nodded
"Thank you," You said softly, "For everything. You're a good man,"
He nodded but he was still unsure if he was to be a good man or a good king.
You didn't encounter anyone on your way back to your room. You had Tishala to thank for that as she used routes that hardly anyone knew of. Every palace had secrets of it own.
"Could you ask the King if it would be alright for me to visit Bucky?" You asked unsurely, "Maybe I could read to him,"
"I will let you know," She said with a soft smile
Tishala reminded you of a grandmother. Not yours, you didn't really remember having one. No, she reminded you of the essence of what a grandparent should be. She was kind and warm, most of all, she had a smile that could make you feel at ease.
You washed your face with cold water and she cleaned up the bedroom slightly.
"You will have dinner here, right?" She looked at you knowingly and you nodded
"I'm not up for a lot of social visits right now," You agreed with a sad smile, "Would you stay for a while?"
"Of course, child," She said softly and sat down at the edge of the bed
It was almost as if she knew you needed the maternal love, something which you hadn't known for far too long, "You know when my little ones are sad and aren't going to sleep," She began, "I always sing them a song," Tishala gestured for you to get tucked in
"Which one?" Your voice was small
"It is called Lala Kitoto," She smiled and began to sing the soft melody
You hadn't felt so at peace in the longest time and her voice was serene enough to make you go to sleep. Perhaps it was the long flight and the emotional shock that had come right after or maybe it was that she just knew that you were tired, you had been tired for so long and now, her soft Swahili lullaby was somehow taking it away.
"I can't believe you didn't tell her, man," Sam shook his head
"I didn't think to-," Steve protested
"That's the problem," Clint scolded, "You didn't think! And I'm saying that, jeez,"
"Okay, I get it," Steve groaned, "I fucked up," He held his face in his hands and Scott gasped loudly
"Captain swears?" Scott looked at everyone
"Dude, I don't know who you've been talkin' to but Rogers has a potty mouth," Sam stated and Clint nodded in agreement
"Why did you keep it from her?" Wanda asked Steve softly as Sam, Clint and Scott talked to each other
"She wouldn't have come if she knew," Steve confessed
"She would've come," Wanda tore away from Steve's gaze, "She would've,"
You successfully avoided Steve for almost a week. However, it also meant that you couldn't see Bucky because Steve was always roaming in those corridors.
"He's lookin' for you," Sam called out as you sat on thick branch of a tree
"Tell him to stop," You shot back and Sam laughed
"Can I join you?" His voice reached you and you finally looked down
"If you can get up here," Your gaze narrowed and Sam chuckled
After almost fifteen minutes of hard labour, he joined you as you made room for him
"He's worried," He finally repeated himself
"And here I thought you came here to talk to me," You said sarcastically
"Pretty girl like you? I'd forget his golden ass any day for you, darlin'," He flirted and you laughed loudly
"You're a whole lot of trouble," You smiled
"Yes, ma'am," He winked at you and you took a deep breath
"So, why are you really here?" You looked at him and his smile faltered
"Steve is worried about you," Sam frowned and you rolled your eyes, "No, really, man. He's worried,"
"Yeah, well," You sighed, "He should've thought about that before lying to me and smuggling to another continent,"
"Ouch," He flinched, "Bad decision on his part, but you've known him since the stone age, so, you gotta know that Barnes used to be the brains of all his darin' do,"
Your face broke into a soft smile and you nodded, "Yeah, Bucky was majority of his impulse control,"
"Look," Sam began as he started to climb down, "Talk... To the guy... If you don't like... what he... says," His feet landed on the ground, "If you don't like what he says, well then, Wanda can hold him while you punch him. Clint promised popcorn and Scott could make a video,"
"What about you?" You laughed
"I'll be cheering you, sweetheart," Sam shot back and left you to your thoughts
It wouldn't hurt to listen, would it? You thought to yourself
"Dinner in room?" Tishala asked and you shook your head
"No, I'll have it with everyone else," You said unsurely
"I will keep some in room for you," She offered, "Just in case you come back early,"
You were beginning to realize that you just adored the woman. She just knew what you needed and how you were feeling even when no words were exchanged.
Dinner went without incident. Sam flirted with you shamelessly and you didn't mind either because you knew he wasn't serious. Flirting was almost second nature to him and you liked it. He flirted with every human being with a pulse. Sam was all fun and jokes and everyone loved it.
Steve's brows were furrowed throughout and he made very little conversation. Scott and Clint didn't care as they had their own banter going on. Wanda ate quietly.
"Can I walk you back?" Steve asked softly and you nodded
His hand pressed against the small of your back as he guided you out of another door than the one you'd come from.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Your voice was cold
"He told me not to," Steve's voice was small and at first you didn't even hear him properly
"Excuse me?" You seethed, "And you're a fucking adult! Both of you are! How are either of you still making decisions for each other?"
"Y/N," He began but you cut him off
"No," You said sharply, "Don't Y/N me! I'm so done with both of you. We're not kids anymore. This isn't some back alley fight that you had to hide from me,"
Your eyes burned with tears again, surprising even you because didn't think you still any left to cry.
"You two were frozen," You voice became deadly, "You don't know what I've lived through,"
"You can't possibly," He began again but you shook your head
"No, Steve," You gasped for air, "You don't understand,"
"Then tell me!" He almost screamed in the deserted corridor
"I'm over 300, Steve!" You matched his volume, "I'm exhausted! I came here because I wanted to be with Bucky, like before. I came here because I thought I could trust you to tell me the truth!"
"He lost control, Y/N!" Steve's eyes shined with tears, "There's..." He took a deep breath, "There are words that if anyone says, they can turn him into the Soldier. Buck wanted to go to sleep because he wanted to be safe enough for you to love him,"
"I would've loved him no matter what," You whispered and showed him the ring that you wore around your neck
"That's why he went, Y/N," He sighed, "He knew that you'd love him. He just wanted to earn it back,"
"He didn't have to," Your eyes fell to the floor and instinctually, Steve's arms wrapped around you and you let him pull you into a hug, "He didn't have to," You kept repeating until you found exhaustion seep into your bones and you blacked out
"Is she alright?" Steve spoke to Tishala after he carried you to your room
"She will be," Tishala assured her, "She has had a long life," She frowned, "For someone like her to still love, to still hope, well, it is a muujiza in itself,"
Steve looked at her because he didn't understand the word she had used
"A miracle, Captian," She smiled and Steve nodded, "Come in the morning. She will be happy to see you,"
"Really?" Steve chuckled
"She might have lived longer but no one has the wisdom of a bibi," She smiled, "A grandmother, Captain," She explained herself and Steve nodded again
Tishala was right. Age had brought you wisdom but your youth had kept you reckless and careless.