The silence moving through the air of the cage was deafening. Between it all, left unsaid, was a blame that could not be placed on either of you. But attempts were certainly being made, at least in your own head. It was you that had gotten the two of you into this mess. It was your stubbornness that had put a target on your heads in the first place, your misspoken words that had labeled you and the Doctor as traitors to the crown, as spies. All because you wanted to see more, wanted the adventure to go perfectly, your way, for once.
After all, the Doctor had let you choose your destination. This time, you thought, you could be like her. You could pull her through the unknown, show her new and exciting things. Instead, you had landed the two of you in a cage, waiting to face an unknown danger. Danger wasn’t unknown to you as the Doctor’s companion. But it was different when it was your fault, when it was more than just an occupational hazard. When it was avoidable.
You certainly felt like avoiding everything right now. The Doctor didn’t seem to mind the situation, peering around the empty abyss your cage hung in for clues or escape routes. Perhaps if you apologized once more, ignoring what she said about not having to, it would be enough to prove you were really sorry.
“Don’t apologize again,” The Doctor said softly. “You really don’t have to. Besides, it’s not all that bad. Remember when we were stuck in-”
She was cut off with a small yelp as the cage was tugged upward, violently so. She tried to steady herself on the bars of the cage. However, just as she made her attempt, the cage was tugged again and the force of it sent her across the cage and on top of you with a loud thud. You tried to gasp, but the air was knocked out of you at the same time. Your own body moved awkwardly as you were pulled upward, pushed against the bars. The Doctor tried to steady the two of you, only succeeding in crushing your chest tighter.
“Looks like we’re getting out of the cage at least '' You winced as the alternative came into view; the Qupaci were rather hideous, both in personality and appearance. The majority of their faces were covered by the large tusks protruding from their mouths, from which putrid green saliva dripped. The Prince of the Qupaci, sharing these traits, surprisingly hadn’t caught your eye on the dance floor, where you and the Doctor had been so innocently dancing and talking several hours earlier. Your attention completely captured by the timelords dashing black suit, you hadn’t noticed him make his way onto the floor and towards another alien dancing near the two of you.
You hadn’t realized the words you shared could be seen as conspiratory either. Big mistake.
The Prince was at the back of the crowd that greeted you, watching as the cage reached the top of it hung from. Through the wrinkles and boils covering his face, you could make out his smug expression even from some distance. It stayed in your mind, the image twisting and curdling with the contents of your stomach.
“Right, I think it’s time we talk '' The Doctor said sternly. You looked at her, eyes wide. The Qupaci guards had already drawn quite a few weapons. You weren’t sure it was time to talk just yet. The Prince and his guards laughed, and he made his way towards the pair of you.
“My council deals with many issues these days, with tensions being so high. There is a lot of stress. But there are ways to relieve that stress as well” His lip curled around one of his fangs as he spoke, turning into a smirk. His eyes flitted to one of his ‘council’ members next to him, who was holding a rather rusty looking knife. You winced.
“Crosswords?” The Doctor said sarcastically. She stood, prying herself off of you and wrapped her hands around the bars of the cage, sneering at the Prince. “Best not to threaten me.”
“I promise you, Doctor, there is no threat. Or, at least…” The Prince turned to his guard and shouted: “Not an empty one!”
They all cheered, one grabbing the cage and pulling it onto solid ground. The Doctor did not budge, supported by the cage. You, however, had been trying to pull yourself up and were rudely thrust back to the floor of the cage. Cheeks burning in humiliation, you quickly stumbled to your feet- eyes meeting the Princes.
“This one,” he growled.
“I don’t think so” The Doctor hissed in response, doing nothing to slow your quickening heart rate. You had been chosen. But for what?
“Andraxi will have fun with them,” One of the guards said through their slobber. “I wonder which tools he’ll choose.”
“You’re not laying a finger on them” the Doctor said louder, voice echoing throughout the cave.
“Do you know what the Qupaci do to traitors?” Another guard asked, his S dragging on teasingly. You winced. Clearly whatever they had in store wasn’t great. You stared at the back of the Doctor’s head, as if you could somehow read the thoughts occurring inside of it. What sort of plan was she dreaming up? Hopefully there was one in the first place.
“We’re not traitors” You said, trying to keep your voice steady.
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Coward might be a better word,” The Doctor snarled. As soon as the words left her mouth, you witnessed something more rare than the birth of a star- a look of pure regret crossed the timelord's face. After all, the words had inspired several more of the aliens to step closer, drawing their weapons, staring at you with intent.
“You, then?” The Prince said coldly. He had squared his shoulders, trying to brush off what the Doctor had said.
“No!” You shouted, having successfully gotten to your feet and to the Doctor’s side. She looked at you, alarmed, and shook her head.
“Yes, me, then. Can’t say I won’t make it a challenge for you.” Her eyes were narrowed, scanning the Prince’s for any other cracks to pry open before he managed to even begin whatever sick plan was in place.
“No,” You insisted. Her narrow eyes focused on you, not losing any intensity. She wasn’t just warning the Prince, now. “I got us into this mess.”
You lowered your voice. “Besides, you’re the one who can get us out of it.”
“I’m also the only one with regenerative ability. Get. Back.” You followed her order out of surprise, physically jumping back, and instantly regretted it. Your chance at an upper hand was lost immediately. Forfeited by your own instinctive dedication.
“Doctor please,” You whispered. “Just because you can heal.. Doesn’t mean you should have to. Please”
“What should I do then, let you suffer?” You held each other’s gazes for a brief moment, waiting for the other to give in.
In the back of your mind you registered the door to the cage opening, but its implications did not fully hit you until scaly arms were dragging the Doctor away from you, another pair shoving you roughly down to the floor. You scrambled up to the door just as it slammed shut, a metallic ring filling your ears as you yelled for the guards to bring her back. The Doctor avoided your gaze as they pulled her out of sight, eyes fixated on the Prince.
He turned to you and chuckled. Reaching through the bars, one of his fingers- no, claws- brushed away a tear, mocking the comfort you should be receiving from the Doctor. You pushed his hand away, and he grasped your shirt instead, pulling you against the bars as tightly as he could. So tightly that it was a wonder the metal didn’t bend to your form.
“Don’t worry, you’ll have your turn before the night is over.”
The next half an hour was a blur. Firstly, you were slowly lowered back down into the abyss below, left to hang alone. There was nothing you could do. Any attempt to move the cage simply caused it to rock and sway from side to side, your stomach moving twice as fast than it. Desperate for something to happen, you laid your head against one of the bars, trying to extend your ears. Waiting for a noise; the sound of the Doctor’s footsteps, preferably. A reassuring comment, or perhaps the buzz of the sonic. Those were the sounds you wished for, too scared to think of the possibility that you might hear a shriek or scream instead.
The Qupaci were not merciful enough to only allow you the ability to hear them. The cage began to lower further, and you gripped the bars tightly to steady your bones. When you and the Doctor had been captured, the cage had never strayed lower than where you had been seconds ago. What awaited you at the bottom?
There was a loud rumbling, and the darkness started to part in the middle. A door was opening below you. Whatever awaited you was approaching fast. You gripped the bars tighter as the cage picked up speed, as if the rope that held it was running out, falling with you. Sure enough you began to simply fall, until you landed on the floor with a thud. Your body rose and fell against the bottom of the cage, making you groan in pain.
“Y/n!” The Doctor’s concerned voice. Exactly what you needed to hear right now. Just… not in the way it was delivered. When you looked to where her voice was coming from, propped up on your elbows and eyebrows drawn together in focus, your heart fell.
The crowd of guards had parted enough to give you the full view that you wished you didn’t have. The Doctor was strapped to a long, metallic table, her bonds attached to her ankles and each hand, which were spread and raised above her head. They were red, betraying whatever small movements the Doctor would’ve likely been trying to use to escape.
“Are you-”
“Enough!” The Prince yelled. You rushed towards the end of the cage with a distressed yell.
“Let her go!”
The guards and the Prince paid you no mind. The very few that did only offered you a sinister chuckle. They were all stationed at the front, surrounding the Doctor’s bound form. Their cloaks were different from the others. The Prince’s council, you determined. The ones who so desperately needed to resolve the stress they experienced. You gulped as they reached into their pockets and yelled again. The Doctor stared down at the various tools and her gaze hardened. Your heart tore as you realized she was trying to brace herself for what was to come; trying to brace herself for you.
The next few hours were a blur, existing in a special purgatory within your memory. One second, it seemed as though your brain were erasing each minute entirely, getting rid of every piece that was too hard for you to bear. The next, it seemed as though each of those pieces were receiving their own horribly intense spotlight, each movement, each slice or scratch or hit echoing through your bones and soul. Every single one of the Doctor’s yells and groans, uttered through grit teeth and eyes shut tightly.
Looking at the Doctor now, it was as if your brain was conjuring it all up. You wished that was the reality. The golden glow of regeneration energy had been flowing throughout the room for several minutes, wrapping itself around the two of you. The dust only rested near you for a brief time, healing any bruises you’d received. Its real task was to heal its owner, who had suffered so much. In the end, the servants of the Prince had decided to take advantage of his focus on torturing the timelord to carry out a long awaited uprising, freeing the two of you in the process.
“This could’ve been you,” The Doctor sighed, breaking you out of your mental recap. “But, see?”
She held up her shirt, showing off the side of her midriff. Her shirt was still torn and ripped from where the Prince and his council had carried out their evil deeds, but there were no marks as evidence.
“I can heal,”
“It shouldn’t have been you,” You breathed, the air exiting your lungs in a shaky breath. The power behind it made your chin wobble, made your shoulders shake. Your face squeezed together, trying to hold back the tears that were gathering in your eyes. The Doctor softened and took your hand in hers, kissing the back of it. “I hate that you.. I hate them, for doing that to you, I couldn’t help and it hurt, so bad”
“We got out, it’s alright,”
“You could’ve gotten us out,” You said weakly. Your body was giving in to the fear and grief that it had held onto so tightly for hours, weakening your skin and bones. “Would it have been so bad if it was me? You could’ve-”
“Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that. I felt what they did” You winced, remembering the exact moment your heart broke, the exact moment the Doctor’s walls fell, just moments before the servants had burst through the doors. When you let out a small cry, the Doctor pulled you to her chest for a moment, before pulling you back and holding you by the shoulders.
“I saved you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
"Why can't I save you, why can't I help like you-"
"Because you're not me!" The timelord shouted. She let go of your shoulders, and you froze. "You're not me, and you never will be. You can't be. I get hurt, Y/n. That's how it is, how it always has been. The least I can do is try to make sure you don't"
You shrank backward, all resolve disappearing. The Doctor took a step back as well, rebuilding the same walls that you had been forced to watch crumble.
Later you would both find each other in the library, seeking the other out. In silence, you would both come to accept that it might take a while to process everything that had happened with the Qupari and all that had been said after, words that could not be taken back. Words that conveyed the terrible, terrible truth of traveling with the Doctor. She got hurt. You had, you did, you would, as well. But your days were not infinite. Your pain was not infinite. Hers, tragically, was. One day you would stop running, stop remembering, and existing. But the Doctor would continue on, unable to give up despite the desire to, only able to keep hold of her duty of care.