Chapter 3
“Mike, get over here! We’re almost in. There’s just one more door. Loki was right, this key works!”
*Door Slam
“Remind me why we’re going back to a psycho killer? He choked me last time! I don’t think he likes me.”
“Oh shush” *Door slam “Now, be friendly.”
“I see you made it back dear Lily and your brought your pesty mortal pet.”
“I am NOT a pet! I’m her assistant. There’s a difference.”
“Silence fool. I do not care.”
“Woah, woah boys. Let’s all chill out. We’re here for another interview. Now, Loki are you still up for answering questions?”
Pause
“Why are you moving so close to the door?”
“To make your pet uncomfortable and to get a better look at you.”
“Uhmm...okay, moving on. We’re not to the point where we express our love for one another, so let’s save that tape for the last one, okay?”
“Fine by me, Lily. Now answer this question: do you live around the tower?”
“Lily, this guy is major creep vibes--” Chokes again.
“Loki! Stop choking him! His heartburn was so bad last night. He called me crying. It’s okay Mike. Loki stop! Or we’re leaving!”
“Fine.” *Choking stops.
“I..uh…”
“Shhh. It’s okay Mike. To answer your question Loki, I do live around the tower. Kind of. It’s complicated, ya know? Anyways, how long do you have to stay in this cell?”
“Not much longer. They're either going to kill me or send me elsewhere to be killed. Those are my two options.”
“Hmm...sobering. So, if you could get out of this cage and not be killed, what would you be doing? Like going to the beach? Or traveling?”
“I would kill the Avengers.”
*Pause
“Uh-huh, I don’t think you can say that on this podcast. We’ll have to edit that out. But let’s move on. What’re your hobbies?”
“Reading, playing pranks, hitting Thor, and throwing darts at the Avengers.”
“When did you have time to throw darts at the Avengers? It doesn’t count during the battle!”
“Hmph. Fine, mortal. I retrack that hobby. Let’s focus on you now, how is the security at your apartment?”
“Lily…” *Choking starts then stops when Lily gives Loki a look.
“You are getting personal here. There is no security at my apartment. Unless you count my cat and my taser. Have you ever been tased?”
“What is this ‘tased’?”
“It’s a stun gun. It has volts of electricity and it’s super painful.”
“Electricity? Then yes. Thor has thrown lightning at me. It was painful. I hate lightning.”
*Mood darkens.
“Sorry about that Lokes. Can I call you that?”
“No.”
“Okay...Lok--Lokes--i.”
“That does not count.”
“Looookies.”
“No. Otherwise I shall call you Billy.”
“Hey that was your nickname Lils, how’d he know?”
“Shut up Mike!”
“Nickname, huh? Billy it is.”
“Fine, Lokes Lokes Lokes. You blow.”
“Is this how you wish to spend our time?”
“No, no. Have you seen the fan fiction and tumblr posts about you?”
“What is this “fanfiction” and “tumblr posts?””
“Sighhhh. You’re about to be in a load of shock! Here, look at this.”
*Pause
“Why on Earth am I shirtless? Did someone draw me like this?”
“Lokes, you’re pretty modest for being the god of lies. For some reason I thought you’d be more raunchy, ya know? You have that vibe.”
“Oh, I see. You drew this didn’t you Lily? I didn’t know that’s how you felt about me, but I can’t say I’m displeased.”
“Uh….no. I think you’re seeing it wrong.”
“I see things perfectly, my dear. I’m sorry that this cage is separating us. I can only imagine the things you want to do with me.”
“Lokes, this is serious. I didn’t draw that, nor do I feel that way! I’m going to have to edit this tape so much, ugh.”
“Don’t be frustrated my dear. You don’t have to explain it to me. I perfectly understand.”
“Lily should we go?”
“No, let me ask one more question. What’s your plan for escape?”
“You wound me, Lily. Whatever makes you think I’m planning something?”
“Lily, he has an evil smile! Let’s go!!!!!”
“Hush, Mike. You’re the god of mischief. I’d be disappointed if you weren’t planning something.”
*RING RING RING
“The alarm! We have to go Lily!”
“Fine, let’s go. We’ll be back Lokes!”
*Door opens and shuts
“Oh, I plan on it.”