Pre game jitters
Once Keith left for school, shiro decided that today was the day to talk to his father. Friday is the last game and he doesn’t think the stress is good for Keith. Even besides the game—it’s just not fair to him.
Adam was at work already so he left and drove to heiths house. He took so long to talk to him because he really didn’t know what to say. ‘Hey I know we haven’t talked in years but wow, Keith being gay—crazy right?’
He had called his work first to see if he was there and they said he’s been calling out a lot recently. He hopes he’s not drinking again.
He got there and saw a cop car in the driveway. He had to compose himself before turning the car off and getting out. He made sure to dress nice because…he doesn’t really know he’s just really nervous to see him again.
He walked to the door and knocked. It’s been a long time since he’s seen this house. He wonders how much he’s changed. If he’s even changed anything. So far, it’s completely the same.
After a minute or so, the door opened and there he was. Looking…normal. Good. Not happy—but good. Definitely not drinking.
He looked shocked though. Understandably. Shiro opened his mouth but Heith spoke, a bit rushed “Keith is with you, right?”
Shiro stared for a second and nodded “Yeah, he is”
Heith nodded back, looking a bit relieved “Good—that’s what I assumed”
Shiro stood there, a little awkwardly. He doesn’t know what to say.
”So…do you want to come in…?”
Shiro nodded “Uh—yeah”
He walked in and immediately looked around. It’s the same. Even the smell. It’s…faded though. Her cooking was mostly what he smelled when he was here. She would light a lot of candles, which they seemed to have kept doing.
“So…uh……it’s been a while, yeah?” Heith laughed awkwardly and shiro smiled, just as awkward “Yeah”
Neither of them said anything so shiro just broke the ice, more concerned about Keith than their years of not speaking “You know why I’m here, right?” He spoke quietly—gently—he doesn’t want to make anything worse by sounding upset.
Heith sighed and rubbed his head “Yeah”
“He’s doing really good in school” He said that, not wanting to start with him being gay. He should probably…ease into it.
”I know” He nodded and looked impatient in a way. He obviously knows shiro is going to say something.
“And with football—he’s a five star now”
Heith looked shocked and then a little upset “Oh…he didn’t uh…tell me”
Shiro nodded and then looked at him, sincere “He’s a good kid”
Heith looked down, still looking upset. He didn’t respond and shiro didn’t talk, hoping heith would say something.
He finally did—he didn’t look at him though “This is just a phase, right? Like, another rebellious teen thing?”
Shiro sighed “Keith isn’t a rebellious teen anymore”
Heith sighed, looking like he couldn’t believe it “He’s just…he’s so…I don’t know what I did wrong” his voice started shaking a little and shiro shook his head “You didn’t do anything wrong”
”Then…” he looked at him, like he had an idea “You’re a teacher there, that…that boy…doesn’t he give off that kind of…vibe? I think he—“
Shiro walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. He shook his head “No…Lance is a good kid too”
”But—“ he shook his head and then rubbed his face “He can’t be……oh god” he kept his hands on his face and shiro put his hands down.
”Let’s sit down”
They walked to the couch and sat down. Heith looked…defeated “I just don’t know why he would he choose this lifestyle? He doesn’t know how hard it’ll make his life—his career”
”It isn’t a choice”
”How? I just don’t see how a man can feel that way for another man”
Shiro smiled at him “Did you choose to love Krolia?”
He looked at shiro and looked like he was thinking really hard. He looked down “No”
”It’s exactly the same—Keith talked to me about it—he’s been trying to push these feelings down since he was a kid”
He didn’t speak for a bit and then spoke quietly “Really?”
”Yes, it wasn’t his new friends”
”Just….its just so……different”
”I know but Keith isn’t—he’s still Keith”
He sighed again “I guess you’re right”
”I know I’m right—he’s the exact same—just…more himself…happier”
Heith nodded “Okay….”
Heith spoke again “Krolia mentioned that he was different and I didn’t really believe her. And I think I very faintly remember her saying something about you but…I don’t know”
”She told me she vaguely mentioned I had a boyfriend to you”
Heith glanced at him and then looked really sad “I just don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me—I guess you were more supportive than me”
”He only told me after I told him about Adam—my boyfriend—and even then, he didn’t mean to”
”Really?”
”Yeah, it’s hard to say something like this even to people you love and you know love you.”
”And—oh my god” he rubbed his face and shiro looked at him, concerned “What?”
”I called lance a….a queer—of course he wouldn’t have told me”
”I…I heard about that”
He rubbed his face again “Fuck…What do I do? What if he thinks I don’t love him anymore? I should’ve reached out earlier—I’m such a horrible father—“
Shiro put his hand on his shoulder again “This is still pretty big news—and I know it’s a big adjustment for you…but as long as you show Keith you love him—he’ll appreciate it”
He nodded, looking nervous “Okay…how is he doing now?”
They talked for a bit about Keith and then it turned into a conversation about their past and Krolia. It was nice talking again. He knows he loves Keith and in time, he’ll be more comfortable with the fact he’s gay.
The next day, shiro was acting weird but he just went to school without questioning it. He too tired to.
When he got to the school, Nyma was there again.
”Guess what”
”What”
They started walking to the door.
”I broke up with rolo”
Keith nodded, acting like he didn’t care “Good”
”And I was thinking…” she hooked her arm around his “Maybe we could go out?”
He didn’t move his arm “No thanks”
She pouted but didn’t move her arm “Eh, it was worth a try—is there anyone in particular that you fancy?”
Keith scoffed but kind of laughed “No”
”You absolutely do”
”What?”
“I know when people are lying—and you are definitely lying”
”I’m not”
”You are! Who is it?”
He moved his arm and they stopped at their lockers “I’m not”
”I’ll find out who it is”
”No you won’t—because there isn’t anyone”
She rolled her eyes, smiling and someone leaned against the locker next to Keith. He looked over at them and it was rolo. “So you really did dump me for him?”
”Shut up, rolo, I dumped you because you suck”
“So do you—and Keith, too, apparently so maybe he isn’t the best choice”
Keith didn’t look at him, not caring what he means.
”The little rumor mill is spinning, Kogane” he laughed “Huh, your last name fits you perfectly—KoGAYn”
Keith looked at him “What?”
”Rolo. Stop” nyma said, more serious than she’s been…well…ever.
”What? It’s just a rumor…right?” He sounded…intimidating. Where is this coming from?
”Rolo, this is why I dumped you—you’re an asshole—go away”
He laughed and turned around, waiving without looking back. He added “I’d be more careful with what you say in public, Keith.” He stopped and turned around “And who’s girlfriend you sleep with”
He left and Keith was gripping his locker really hard. Nyma noticed “Keith? You’re gonna hurt your hand”
He let go, shutting his locker. He looked at her and opened her mouth but he heard some people whispering “You really think it was him?”
“Definitely, he was even talking to that allura girl”
They saw him looking at them and they jumped and started walking faster. Nyma grabbed his arm and started walking to the broom closet. A bit stunned, he didn’t fight her.
She shut them in and looked extremely guilty. And started talking fast.
”Ok so I broke up with rolo and he got upset and called me a whore so—a bad idea in hindsight—I told him you were a better kisser than him and ended up telling him what happened that night and he showed me some video he took from under the bleachers of you and Allura talking about you going to some guys house over the weekend and—“
”What??”
She shook her head, a bit frantically “He threatened to show everyone if I left him but he’s a coward so I didn’t think he’d actually do it! But hes been so jealous of you ever since the whole party situation”
”So who knows?”
She looked away “Well……umm………everyone?—that’s kind of who he sent it to”
He felt his stomach flip and he left the closet, which feels like a really shitty metaphor from the universe.
Nyma followed him and kept trying to explain herself and how she ‘didn’t believe it anyway’.
He ignored her and the other people staring at him and just went to his class. As people came in, he could see them whispering to their friends. Maybe if he just ignores it, people will never mention it.
Turns out it’s impossible to ignore it because people are talking about it like it’s the biggest news they’ve ever heard.
Which he guesses, in their boring lives, maybe it is.
But now he’s walking into his next class. He sat down where he usually sat and started thinking. Did he say lances name in the video? Was lance outed too?
He walked in and Keith noticed how…fine he looked. He doesn’t know. And just in case his name wasn’t in the video, Keith isn’t dragging him down with him.
”Hey” he smiled and sat down and Keith, even though it felt awful, ignored him.
”What’s up?” He leaned closer to him and Keith still ignored him.
Lance looked confused and a bit sad but he just looked at the teacher and they didn’t talk for the rest of the class.
Since he knows shiro doesn’t have a class third period, he rushed there and didn’t bother knocking before coming in.
Shiro jumped at his desk and when he saw it was Keith, he sighed. But Keith obviously looked upset so he stood up.
”What hap—“
”Apparently there’s of video of me saying I’m gay so now everyone knows”
”What?”
”Everyone knows I’m gay”
Shiro didn’t say anything for a second but then he walked up to him “What video? Do you know who recorded it?”
”Rolo—he was jealous of me because of nyma”
”Listen, I’m going to say something to the principal—“
”She won’t care?”
”She knows I’m gay—she asks about Adam every time I see her”
Keith looked down, still very upset “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway”
”What? Why?”
”If the coach finds out he’s probably gonna kick me off the team—if lance hangs out with me at school, they might get suspicious of him—and now dads gonna hate me even more and tell me ‘I’m throwing my career away’ or some shit—which now might actually be the case—“
”Keith. Calm down” he put his hands on his shoulders and Keith looked at him.
Shiro kept talking “Your life isn’t over. And the more you let people know it affects you, the more they’re going to keep bothering you. I know it sucks but the only thing you can really do right now is…own it. You don’t even have to act different, just be proud of who you are and let people know it”
”You don’t even let people know you’re gay”
”I don’t deny it”
”You didn’t even tell me until recently”
”It’s harder telling people you love”
Keith sighed and nodded, calming down a little. Then he started to freak out again “What about lance?”
Shiro dropped his arms “Did he say anything during your class together?”
Keith looked down, guilty “I ignored him…I didn’t want people assuming anything about him”
“Does he know what happened?”
Keith shook his head.
”Talk to him about it then. See what he says and chances are, he’ll stick with you”
”What if he thinks he has to?”
”Lance is a good kid, he’ll probably naturally want to do the right thing”
”Okay”
“Okay…I love you, alright?”
Keith nodded and shiro hugged him again. “If anything horrible happens tell me”
He nodded again and the bell rang. He left, feeling weirdly fine. He’s so happy he has shiro in his life. He turned the corner and immediately, pidge walked up to him “Are you good??”
He looked around at people looking at him. He used to have nightmares of this happening. He expected it to be the worst thing ever and he’d lose all his friends and family and basically everything wrong would happen.
But that isn’t happening. He has his family and friends—minus his dad I guess but he can deal with that outside of school.
Who cares what these people think? If they don’t like it literally who gives a shit? Keith sure as hell doesn’t—he didn’t care before, why would he care now? He still has his friends. He only cares what they think but they already knew.
He looked at pidge, feeling pretty good. He nodded, smiling a little “Yeah”
“You….Oh shit, do you not know?”
He nodded “I do”
”Oh…..alright then, cool”
Keith laughed and they started walking.
”So you’re fine with people knowing?”
”I mean I’m just gonna have to be, aren’t I?”
”I guess so”
“Plus, I really don’t care what they think about me”
”That’s true”
“Has lance found out?” He spoke quietly.
”Yep. He spent all of lunch freaking out about if you were okay. He said you seemed mad at him—but you just didn’t want people knowing about him, right?”
”Yeah—he should be able to chose when it happens”
”Yeah, but he was talking about making some big public announcement that he was gay but I was like hold on let’s talk to Keith first”
”He was gonna do that?”
”Yeah he didn’t want you to be alone”
”Thank you for telling him not to”
”Yeah, unlike you, he does care what people think—and I don’t know if he’s ready for that kind of negative attention—he’s gonna tell you he is though”
”I know”
”Ok good cause I love both of you and I want the best for you both”
”Ew” he looked at her and she frowned.
”I know”
Then he smiled and put his arm around her shoulder. How did he end up with such great friends?
After school, Allura told him she wanted to hang out all together so they went to the van. Lance and Hunk weren't there yet, which is pretty normal.
”So you’re fine?” Allura seemed shocked at how okay he was with everything. They had been talking for a bit now, especially since Lance and hunk are taking so long.
He shrugged “Yeah”
”Well…good!”
”My boy is so mature now” pidge pat his cheek and he pushed her away “Be quiet”
The door opened and lance got in with hunk. Lance shut the door and looked at Keith—before he could say anything, Keith shook his head “I’m fine”
Lance stared at him for a second before sitting next to him and hugging him. Hunk mouthed to everyone that he’s been crying so Keith hugged him back.
”I’m sorry”
”It’s fine”
Lance pulled back and shook his head.
”It’s not—what if I told everyone too? I can’t let you go through this by yourself—“
Keith shook his head back “You don’t have to do that—seriously, I’m fine”
”But—“
“I’m fine” He stared at him, trying to show how serious he was. Lance stared back for a second before hugging him again.
”You don’t have to ignore me though”
”I’m sorry”
”It’s okay, you just freaked me out a little bit”
”You tell people when you’re ready—don’t let this make you say anything when you aren’t”
”Thank you”
The next few days, honestly….were pretty horrible.
Keith has dealt with people calling him names before. In middle school they would call him a girl because of his long hair. When he started high school, he was called a teachers pet since he was so close with shiro and a show off since he was so good at football. Now, I’m sure you can imagine what he’s being called.
James and Rolo have been having field days with it. Every time he passes him in the hallway, he says a new word—Keith was honestly a little impressed.
And how badly Keith wanted to call James a hypocrite was crazy. But he won’t stoop to his level.
Lance has not been good either—Keith keeps telling him he’s okay and Lance says he believes him but Keith knows he doesn’t.
But even though it’s sucked, Keith still doesn’t care. It only sucks because it’s annoying. He still hates attention.
He was walking to shiros class for lunch but was stopped—he was going to ignore it like he usually does but it was the coach.
”Hey—“
keith looked at him and he tilted his head as a gesture to follow him. He did and they went inside his office.
He closed the door and gestured towards the chair for Keith to sit. Again, he listened, and his coach sat down at his desk.
He sighed and immediately, but also kind of late, realized what this was about.
”So, I’ve gotten some……complaints”
Keith sighed and leaned back, just waiting for him to tell him.
”You understand where I’m coming from, right? The boys just…they don’t feel…particularly comfortable……”
Keith just nodded, not caring about what he’s saying anymore.
”And we…I…feel it’s best that you…don’t continue on the team.”
Okay, now Keith wasn’t expecting that. He thought he would just have to change in a different place.
”Wait, what?”
”Look, scouts look at our team as a whole—we get funding from people who like what we are—what we……stand for”
“It's not like I’m kissing guys during games?” He was starting to get a little frustrated now.
”I—Yeah, I know that. But I would hate for the other guys on the team to lose on an opportunity because of this”
”So it doesn’t even matter that I was outed? By rolo, by the way—but yeah, his future is so important”
”I’ve talked to him and he’s being punished accordingly”
”No, I am”
”No, you aren’t—I’m doing what’s best for the team—this isn’t easy for me, you’re our best player”
Keith grabbed his bag and just said “Whatever” He left and didn’t bother going to shiros class. He just left the school. But he doesn’t have a key to shiros house since Adam gets home right before 3 so he just drove somewhere random and parked.
He also may have cried a little. He was alone though so it wasn’t as embarrassing.
It’s the day before the final playoff and Keith still hasn’t told anyone he got kicked off the team. Hunk has asked why he hasn’t been going to practices and he said he was a little sick.
Pidge had invited him over to her house to hang out which she has before so it wasn’t weird. Was was weird was how she was acting.
She was playing a game and she kept looking at him. It was starting to irritate him.
”Ok, what”
“What?”
”You’re looking at me”
“You’re very pretty, Keith”
”What is it”
She shrugged “Nothing—just wondering how you feel about being kicked off the team”
She kept playing and Keith sighed “How’d you find out?”
”Rolo did and he’s been telling everyone”
”Of course he is” he smiled at her and she paused the game and looked at him.
“So how are you?”
”Fine”
“I’ll ask again”
He stared at her ”I’m destroyed emotionally—is that what you wanna hear?”
”No, I want to hear how you feel”
He sighed and laid his head back “I’m just…tired”
”And?”
”And……I guess I feel like I’m a disappointment—to shiro, my dad, and all of you”
”You aren’t—you’re quite the opposite actually”
“First I’m gay, now my whole career is gone—that’s pretty disappointing”
”Yeah, but you’re still Keith—and your personality isn’t disappointing”
”I’m an asshole”
”At first”
“I still am”
”A charming asshole then”
They spoke for a while and when it got a little darker, he started walking home—since shiro lives surprisingly close to pidge.
As he walked, he decided to call lance.
“It’s your turn for the dishes” his mom glared at him.
”Okay” he groaned and got up from his comfortable spot on the couch. He knows better than to fight her.
He walked to the kitchen and turned the water on and waited for it to get hot. Once it was warm, he started washing the dishes.
After a bit, his phone started ringing so he dried his hand on his pants and answered it.
”Hey, this is Lance”
”Hey”
He didn’t expect Keith and almost dropped his phone.
“Hey!! What’s up?”
”Nothing, I’m just…walking”
”Where?”
”To shiros house”
”From where?”
”Pidges”
Lance gasped “That jerk! She said she couldn’t hang out today because of an appointment”
”She told me she said that” he laughed a little and lance smiled “You’re both jerks”
”That’s true”
”You talkin to your booyfrieend?~” suddenly, Rachel was next to him.
He scoffed at her, looking away “No”
“Ouch” Keith said, making lance smile.
She smiled “Tell Keith I said hi—and that you need to finish the dishes” she turned to water back on and left, laughing evilly.
”Sorry, were you busy?”
Lance held his phone to his ear with his shoulder “I’m just washing the dishes—I can still talk though”
”Are you sure?”
”Yeah I’m doing the shoulder thing”
He laughed “Okay”
They talked for a while until Keith got back to shiros house. Once he hung up, lance put his phone back down and finally finished the dishes and started drying them.
He turned the water off and he heard someone walk in the kitchen. He looked and saw his mom. She moved beside him and started to help.
“Who were you talking to?”
He smiled but held it back a little.
”Just keith”
She nodded and they were both silent for a little.
”Mijo…I love you so much” she kissed his head and he smiled “I love you too mamá”
”Even if Keith is your boyfriend”
Lance stopped drying the cup he was holding. He opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. He put his head on his moms and they silently finished drying the dishes. They didn’t need to say anything. He’s lucky to have such a wonderful family.
Keith hung up and stopped at the end of the driveway. He ended up not walking to shiros house since he was distracted.
He was at his house.
He saw his dad’s car. There were no lights on and it’s dark outside so he assumed he’s probably asleep. He wasn’t gonna go in but he still hasn’t returned that book to the library and he’s gotten a few letters.
He walked up to the door and stopped, hesitant. Then he unlocked it slowly and opened it slower. He heard the tv, which made his stomach drop a little.
He saw his dad on the couch, asleep. He quietly shut the door and walked to his room. He got the book and walked out of his room.
He got to the end of the hallway when suddenly he was grabbed and put into a headlock. He froze but luckily, his dad pretty quickly realized who it was.
He let go “Oh god! You scared the hell out of me!”
Keith took a deep breath, still a little in shock. He rubbed his neck, still not saying anything.
”I’m sorry—are you alright?”
Keith nodded, wishing he was asking for a different reason.
They were both silent for a bit until his dad sighed “So……are you comin’ home now?”
Keith looked down, not knowing how to respond. His dad spoke again “So tomorrow’s the big game, huh?”
Keith just nodded, not wanting to tell him about anything yet.
”Don’t even worry about it, you’re gonna do great”
”Yeah”
His dad nodded and they were quiet for a bit longer. Keith wanted to leave but he didn’t know how. And his feet wouldn’t move.
Suddenly, his dad sighed and rubbed his face “Look, I’m just—Its so new to me and……I’m worried that if people find out, your life is gonna be hell…”
”Well, people did so I guess I’ll just have to see” he didn’t mean to say that and regret it immediately.
His dad frowned, looking upset now “What? Why did you tell people?”
Keith started to talk but his dad continued.
”Keith, you can’t just say stuff like that—imagine the kind of life you’re gonna live if you go around flaunting that you—that you’re…different”
Keith looked at him, scoffing “Different?”
“You know what I mean”
”Yeah I do—a ‘queer’, right?”
He looked even more upset now and Keith stared at him, still hurt by that comment, even though he didn’t say it about him.
”All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t go around telling everyone—you’re throwing your career away”
Keith looked down, laughing “Okay” he started walking away but his dad kept talking “Keith—I’m just worried that you don’t know what you’re getting int—“
He stopped ”I didn’t tell people—someone outed me. But I’ll make sure not to act too gay—I should probably throw out my makeup and rainbow flags—oh and don’t worry about my career, they kicked me off the team already”
”What?”
He wanted to go on but he just shook his head “Bye, dad”
He left and started walking to shiros house, trying his best to push down any feelings he’s having.
But soon, he was crying again. He thinks he might have actually lost his dad now.