Baby Love

Instead of preparing further for his meeting, he changed into jeans and a long sleeved Henley and Googled everything he could about ten month olds.

After much research and several long texts with his mother, he fumbled through giving her a bath in the kitchen sink with his fanciest bubble bath for sensitive skin. He felt like a failure for not having baby wash. “We’ll get more tomorrow,” he promised, carefully shielding her eyes with one hand as he rinsed the suds from her thin curls.

She gave him a gummy smile and his heart stopped. He glanced around wanting someone to share this with. She was smiling at him!

He hastily dried one hand on his jeans and snapped a few photos on his phone. “Do you like the bubbles? Do you like your bath?” he asked rhetorically, smiling wider than he had in longer than he could remember.

He hit record and filmed a few seconds of her splashing in the warm water and giggling at the bubbles. Maybe he wasn’t so bad at this after all.

~~

After he’d dried, diapered- and hadn’t that been an adventure- and dressed her in soft pink footie pajamas with little white sheep printed on them he realized he had nowhere for her to sleep.

Time to pull out the big guns. He called his mother.

“Erik? Is something wrong?” she answered immediately, sounding worried.

“No, mama. Everything is fine. I didn’t mean to worry you,” he said softly. Bouncing Anya on his hip as he shifted his weight side to side. She grumbled when he stood still.

“Is it the baby? Is she giving you trouble?” she asked sounding more amused than worried.

Erik slanted a look at the baby in question. As usual she was looking right back at him. “I don’t have anywhere for her to sleep,” he admitted heart in his throat.

How was he going to explain giving her away to strangers? He never should have sent her those photos of Anya in the bath. He’d just wanted to share that joy with someone who would care. It was a sobering realization that his boyfriend and his friends wouldn’t see the charm in such a scene.

He hadn’t even told any of his happy hour buddies about her. What would be the point?

“Can’t she sleep with you?” his mother was asking. “It might be best for her; you said she seems to like you. She scented you, you said?”

He blushed at the memory, “Yes, mama. After she had her bottle.”

“That’s a good sign that she’s comfortable with you,” Edie cooed. “You were always so good with kids when you were younger. Most in demand babysitter on the block,” she reminded him fondly.

He struggled not to roll his eyes. None of those kids had been under five; his experience with them was useless. “I don’t think Seb would appreciate that,” he said shortly.

Edie was quiet for a long time. She didn’t approve of his relationship with Sebastian. She didn’t see the point of being together without bonding. Erik would have been amenable to a bond, but knew that such a biological connection would make their urge to procreate virtually impossible to resist.

“Mama?” he wheedled.

“Hmm. Well, maybe one of you should take the couch, just so everyone is comfortable,” she said with a sniff.

He rolled his eyes, knowing who she had in mind. “Maybe I will have her sleep with us. I don’t think I’d be able to rest with her in another room.” He admitted with a frown.

He’d gotten anxious just leaving her with her dolls so he could gather bath supplies.

“Oh! I was just the same with you; of course you were a terror! Always climbing things and knocking everything over!” she laughed at the memories. “When are you going to take some time and bring that sweet girl to visit us? I want to show her off,” he could hear her smile through the phone. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m not sure, mama. We’ve had a big day. I think I’m going to turn in.”

“You do that my dear, make sure to check if she’s hungry before bed. Call if you need anything.”

“I will, mama, thanks,” he rang off to a censorious look from Anya. “I don’t need sass from both of you he grumbled as he took her back to the kitchen to make up another bottle.

~~

He once he’d fed, changed, and burped her he’d held read aloud from the Chippenham file until she’d fallen asleep against his chest.

He glanced down at her drooling face and felt his heart melt. She really was the spitting image of her mother.

He made a few notes about the file and sent off two emails about the next day, but his heart wasn’t in it. He finally set his work aside and began searching for reputable adoption agencies in New York.

After rejecting most of them out of hand he finally found two that seemed acceptable. He called and left a voicemail at each; more than half hoping they wouldn’t get back to him. He face palmed, his thoughts were all over the place when it came to Anya. He needed to get his act together.

After watching a few videos on co-sleeping he changed into his pajamas and arranged a few pillows for safety. If Seb didn’t like it he could take the couch, he decided self righteously before he fell headlong into sleep curled around the slumbering little girl.

He woke to his alarm the next morning. And the realization that he had one of the most important meetings of his life and an infant to care for.

“Crap.”

He bustled around; showering and dressing with his usual flair and making sure his briefcase and Anya’s baby bag were packed. The Lady herself was still sleeping deeply, snuggled against his pillow like it was a life raft in the ocean.

He couldn’t help but snap a picture; it was too sweet an image to pass up.

He went over his meeting notes again and practiced his pitch as he went about preparing a bottle. By this point, Seb was out of the shower and preparing for his own day.

Erik bit his lower lip and threw a Hail Mary.

“Sebastian. Is there any way you can keep Anya for about two hours today? You know I have my meeting with the Chippenham account and I don’t have anyone to watch her.”

Seb looked deeply offended to be asked, “First you kick me out of my bed and now you’re asking me to miss work for this kid? She hasn’t even been here for a full day and you’re already becoming a naturist!” he snapped irritably.

“I didn’t kick you out of bed!” he hissed angrily.

“Oh please, you expected me to sleep with an unbonded omega with a child? Are you trying to drive me into a rut?”

Erik rolled his eyes; Seb was so heavily dosed with pheromone suppressors that he hadn’t had a rut in years. “Don’t be so dramatic, we’re both suppressed.” “Then why can I smell you? Even through both our meds you’re giving off heat.” He accused sharply.

Erik willed himself not to blush at the crass statement, “You’re projecting. Maybe if we’d taken a heat break like I asked last time I was due, you wouldn’t be so paranoid about this!”

“Oh this again! We’re not doing this again! I don’t have time to drop everything and fuck you on demand, Erik!” he paused and took a calming breath. “The whole reason we work so well together is because we don’t give in to those instincts. You know that.” He said softly, placing a comforting hand on Erik’s shoulder.

Erik knew he was right, but something about all this still didn’t sit right with him.

“Well what am I supposed to do with her? I can’t miss this meeting, this is my big chance.”

Seb pulled him into a quick hug and pecked him on the lips, “You’ll figure something out. You always do. Good luck today.” And he was gone.

Erik grit his teeth and went to get Anya fed and dressed. “Looks like it’s just you and me, sweetheart.” He crooned. She blinked up at him and gave a wide yawn in agreement. “You’re such a good girl, you’ll be good for me today, won’t you?” he asked rhetorically.

~~

The answer was no. She would not be a good girl for him. Or more accurately she would not be a good girl for anyone but him.

“Please just watch her while I’m on this conference call,” he’d handed her off to his assistant, Angel. A fellow omega with a work drive to match his own.

She frowned at Anya who was clutching at Erik and eyeing Angel with a pout.

“I’m not good with kids,” she began hesitantly.

“You don’t have to be, she’s a doll,” he handed her off quickly and turned to go. The screaming stopped his retreat.

Angel was holding Anya away from herself, arms outstretched face twisted in embarrassment and Anya was wailing like an air raid siren. Writhing in her grasp and reaching for Erik, face beet red.

She looked possessed.

He hurried back to her side and took her in his arms, she stopped screaming and blinked up at him gratefully, eyes bright with tears. She tucked her face into his neck and scented him deeply. He flushed in embarrassment.

It had been hard enough walking through the office holding an infant that looked like him. He knew the rumor mill was already churning and Anya acting like he was her father wasn’t going to do him any favors.

“Angel,” he began again.

She took a big step back, shaking her head violently, “Sorry boss, the kid has spoken.”

He glanced at the clock; it was almost time for his conference call. He grit his teeth, “set it up with a still image of me. I’m not going live with a kid in my arms.”

She nodded looking amused and relieved. Thankfully Anya was happy playing at his feet, rolling around on the plush carpeting of his office and chewing on the assorted toys Erik had spread out on the floor.

“That’s exactly right. And as you’ll see if you look at Page 6 Graph C…” he cast his gaze around the room as he spoke, keeping an eye on Anya only to see her standing, both hands braced against the wall. She looked back at him over her shoulder and grinned, proud of her accomplishment.

“Mr. Lehnsherr?” his attention was pulled back to the conference call, he was grateful that he wasn’t visible to his clients. He was sure he looked like a star struck fool.

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry for the interruption. As I was saying. Page 6 Graph C shows the steady increase in our influence on the young male demographic ages 16-24-” he continued, trying to rush through the rest of his presentation so he could catch up to Anya who was stumbling around the perimeter of his office using the walls and furniture as support.

She tumbled over frequently and spent a great deal of time scooting on her butt and crawling, but…well she was very nearly walking on her own and that was pretty impressive.

By the time he rang of the call an interminable quarter hour later she had worn herself out and was laying on her belly sliding across the carpet like a slug. He hoped this was normal behavior.

“What are you doing? Are you trying to walk? Are you going to be walking soon?” he asked making his way over to kneel at her side and lift her onto her feet. She stood and blinked at him. He took his hands away and she fell back onto her diaper padded rump with a look of surprise.

He laughed; she joined in after a moment. A bright bubbling sound that filled his office and lit the dark corners of his heart.

“Lehnsherr,” he startled and looked up to see Azazel standing in the doorway of his office with a smirk stamped on his lean, sharp boned features. “Is this your daughter? She’s cute.”

“She’s my”-cousin? ward? He grappled for a word and settled on “Niece.”

Azazel cocked his head to one side with a disbelieving look, “She looks like you. What is she, two?” he dug for information. Probably trying to fit a pregnancy into what he knew of Erik’s past.

“She’s ten months old,” he said shortly as Angel hurriedly stepped into the room with a frown.

“Can I help you?” She asked Az with a stern look.

“No, I think I have what I came for,” he grinned and spun on his heel to let himself out.

Erik pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. This was bad; this was very, very bad.

Angel spoke up. “Mr. Lehnsherr, an adoption agency, Families United, called for you. I took a message. They have an opening for a meeting tomorrow.”

“Do I have any availability?” he asked without looking up, not wanting to see her reaction to her announcement.

“Yes, first thing. You’re not needed in until 11 if I move a few things around.”

“Alright. Please set it up for me, fill out any forms they send over with my information. Anya’s passport and birth certificate are in her bag if you need any of that,” he said shortly.

“I’m sure I will,” she said hesitantly. “So you’re not…keeping her?”

“I don’t have time for a baby, Angel, you know that.” He glanced up at her to see her give an uncertain nod and shift from foot to foot in her stiletto heels. Usually she was very self assured and forthcoming so this behavior was very odd.

He sighed, “What is it?”

“You said she lost her parents and only has you? I mean…you’re not a bad guy. I think you’d be a good dad if you wanted to give it a go. Foster care can be…” she faded out and nervously patted her hair. Erik knew that she’d been in foster care for a few months before her father’s family could take her in, she never spoke about it in detail but it seemed to have been a terrible trial for her.

He bristled at her words, “I’m not putting her in foster care, I’m looking into adoption,” he said firmly.

She nodded, eyes fixed on Anya who was back to crawling around exploring her surroundings. “Have you thought about getting a nanny?” she asked suddenly.

He paused because no, he hadn’t. But it wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever heard.

“Get me some prospects and I’ll look them over,” he began. Angel beamed at him and clasped her hands together over her chest. He sighed, “this doesn’t mean I’m keeping her.”

“Oh, of course not!” she nodded, eyes suspiciously bright. “I’ll get right on that. I’ll have something for you as soon as you get back from your meeting. She turned to go but Erik stopped her with a small cough.

~~

He felt bad about leaving Angel trapped in his office with an irate Anya, but at least they were in an enclosed space so her screams were muffled. He’d kissed her and fled, ignoring the way she cried for him as he rushed to the elevator and made his way out of the building.

The meeting was a business lunch at a high end restaurant downtown. It went very well but he could admit it wasn’t his best work. In spite of his best efforts he was distracted. He wondered if Anya had calmed down, if she was missing him. If she thought he’d left for good like her mother and father.

He kept glancing at his phone, expecting it to notify him that Angel had walked out or Anya had made herself ill with her fit.

“Kids?” Mr. Chippenham asked at one point with a knowing smile

“Oh n-" he caught his usual denial at the tip of his tongue. For the time being he did have a kid. “Yes. Kind of.”

“It can be hard to get back into the swing of things with little ones in the mix. Your daughter must be young,” the middle aged alpha continued with a kind smile.

Erik frowned, how he had known…oh. He must smell like Anya. And she must smell like him, the thought made him feel…odd. He deemed it prudent to change the subject.

“Yes, she’s ten months. Now about how we can best serve your firm in a national rollout-”

~~

By the time he’d made it back to the office, Anya was sleeping on the floor behind the couch, legs curled under her like a little cat.

“She seemed to think I couldn’t find her there,” Angel said grimly, looking exhausted.

He dodged Angel’s glares and promised to let her take his credit card to Neiman Marcus at her earliest convenience. Thus mollified she went back to attempting to find him a nanny.

A thought that appealed more and more as he considered it.

It wasn’t ideal, but if he made partner perhaps he could work from home a few days a week and that would give him more time with Anya.

Maybe they could make this work without him breaking him parents’ hearts and betraying Lorna’s memory.

He shifted the couch away from the wall and lifted Anya into his arms as he reclined on the uncomfortable surface, she slept on unaware. He buried his face in her soft curls, relaxing as her sweet scent filled his senses.

He supposed they both deserved a break after their trying afternoon.