Chapter 14
“Y/n, baby, are you okay? Come back to me,” you heard a familiar voice say.
Through the haziness, you became aware of a pair of strong hands cradling your head. Blinking your eyes repeatedly, the blur of Clint’s face started to come into focus. But was he real this time or was he still part of the witch’s illusion?
“Clint,” you muttered. “Are you real?”
“Of course I’m real. Let’s get you up.”
He pulled you up off the ground and wrapped an arm around you to help support your weight. Your knees felt weak and you weren’t sure you would have been able to stay upright without him.
“Here, sit down,” he said, gently pushing you down. You slowly became aware of the fact that you were back on the Quinjet.
“I’ve got to go back for the rest of them. Stay here.”
Once he was gone, you lay down on the seat, curled up in a ball, and slowly drifted out of consciousness.
When you awoke, you looked around at the other members of the team and saw that she had gotten more of them than she had missed. Your eyes fell on Steve to find him intently staring at you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. You didn’t know if it was a side effect of her magic or not, but you felt like he could see straight through you and knew all of your most personal secrets. The rest of the flight was spent looking at your knees in an effort to avoid his gaze.
After the plane landed, Clint came over to you and helped you up.
“Where are we?” You asked.
“It’s okay. We’re home.”
You felt a rush of panic shoot through your body. You couldn’t go in there, not yet. He must have felt your resistance because he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t,” you muttered. From the expression on his face, you realized that you probably sounded crazy so you added, “I don’t want the kids seeing me like this. Give me a minute to calm down. Please.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Steve said. “You can help Romanoff get inside. She looks like she needs a hand.”
Clint lingered for a moment looking at Steve, but then he nodded and moved over to Natasha and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
You sat back down on the bench and Steve joined you. Once everyone else was gone, you thanked him.
“You’re welcome.”
The two of you sat in silence for a long time before he finally said, “It was 1945 and I was with Peggy again. She told me the war was over and we could go home. We were going to have that dance I promised her, but she vanished into thin air. I lost her all over again.”
You looked at Steve to find him staring at the opposite wall of the Quinjet, although you were pretty sure he was really looking a lot farther off than that.
“I wouldn’t tell anybody else on the team that, but I had a feeling you’d get it. I think you and I both know a lot about longing for something out of reach.”
He turned to you and the previous feeling of discomfort was gone. His eyes were gentle and full of understanding as he studied your face.
“What are we going to find in there that you aren’t up to facing?”
Instead of answering him directly, you said, “I’ve always assumed my life turned out the way it has because that’s how it was meant to be. That all the things I’ve wanted just weren’t in the cards for me. She showed me I was wrong. I could have had it all, if I’d only fought for it when I had the chance.”
Steve reached over and took your hand in his. You couldn’t help but marvel at how small yours was in comparison.
“You remember when you told me you would follow me into any fight? Well, that goes both ways. You’re my friend, and I’ll never let you go into one without me.”
“Then I guess there’s no point in putting this off any longer.”
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You were upstairs in the guest room that practically had your name on it towel-drying your hair when there was a knock at the door.
“May I come in?” You heard Laura ask.
“Yeah.”
She came in and made her way over to the bed to sit down.
“Sorry, the little guy is getting kind of heavy in there. Can’t stand up as long at a time now.”
“How are you and Nathaniel doing?”
“I’m fine. The doctor says he’s as healthy as he can be. How are you? Clint told me what happened.”
“I’m okay,” you replied, suddenly busying yourself with getting out something to wear.
“He’s going to go along on this fight,” she said after awhile. “The team seems to need him, which is kind of scary considering…but what I’m trying to ask is, will they have his back when he needs them to?”
“You know Nat and I will, and the rest of them are good guys. We won’t let anything happen to him. I promise.”
“I wish he wouldn’t go, but I won’t try to stop him,” she said, rubbing her belly. “Y/n, may I ask a favor? Would you talk to him?”
“You want me to ask him to quit?”
“Yes…after this battle is done.”
“I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not sure it’s my place to.”
“You love him, don’t you?” She asked. Before you could say anything, she continued, “There’s no point in denying it. I figured it out a long time ago.”
You stared at her not knowing what to say. If she knew, did that mean that he did too?
As if she could read your mind, she said, “He doesn’t know. Clint is a bit dense about such things.”
“Do you want me to leave?” You finally asked.
“No, of course not. You’ve always taken care of him in an area of his life that I can’t. You made sure my husband and the father of my children always came back to us alive. You love them, and you’ve even managed to be a friend to me. I’m only asking you to do this because I know he’ll listen to you. How many more fights does he have in him before it’s too late? He’s not a super soldier, or a god, or a genius in a nearly indestructible metal suit; he’s a man in his forties with a bow and arrows. Please, for his sake, talk to him.”
“Alright, I will.”
You saw the relief wash over her face as she looked up at you.
“Thank you,” she said. “I’ll let you get dressed now.”
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Once you were all suited up for the battle with Ultron, you went to find Clint. You found him sitting on a bench looking at the picture of Laura and the kids that he kept with him at all times. You walked over and sat down beside him.
“Everything is going to be fine,” you said.
“I don’t know this time, y/n. Some of us might not make it back from this one.”
“We will. I know we will.”
You leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder. “We’ll make it through, Clint. Then you’ll go home to your family and you won’t have to mess with all this nonsense.”
“You trying to get rid of me, baby? Do you think you don’t need me anymore?”
“I’ll always need you, Clint. More than you’ll ever know. But that doesn’t mean you have to come rushing in to join every fight that takes place. After Sokovia, go home. Watch your kids grow up. Don’t miss a single moment of it.”
“Y/n, are you crying?”
His question made you aware of the tear running down your cheek. You quickly rubbed it away before saying, “Of course not.”
“Did Laura ask you to talk to me about this?”
“Does it matter? She’s right. Get out while you can. I don’t want to say this, but I don’t know how much longer she can put up with you being on the job. She doesn’t like sitting around the house worrying that you aren’t going to make it back.”
“I know, but what am I supposed to do if you get yourself in trouble? We have a responsibility to each other.”
“You’re going to have to learn to trust someone else to have my back. I’ll still have Natasha and Steve. To be honest, I don’t want to have to worry about you either. I’d like knowing that the most dangerous thing you’re doing is working on a tractor engine.”
He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. “Alright, if I make it through this fight I’ll go home. I’m not sure I can promise that I won’t show up if I think you need me, but I’ll do my best to turn into a boring old man, okay?”
“Okay.”