He went to MIT and met Rhodey when he first found out that a father didn’t have to hate you. He went to MIT when he found out a mother didn’t have to hide her eyes in a bottle, because she couldn’t deal with what was happening in her own home.
He was three when he first started noticing his father’s erratic behavior.
He was four when he started getting to experience it.
That night father became Howard.
---
The day before the first it happened, was also the day before he would turn four. Tony hated all his future birthdays.
He was giddy with excitement for he wasn’t normally allowed to visit his father in his workshop. Apparently “dumbs boys who didn’t know what to touch and what not to touch, shouldn’t be allowed down there in the first place”. And Tony didn’t want to be a dumb boy like the other kids in his school, so he thought that now he could finally prove that he could remember the prime numbers without any fail and even a lot of pi.
He would start to long for the days where all he had to deal with was a father that needed help to remember feeding him, and a mother who locked herself into her room with a bottle of something that smelled horrible.
The workshop had been a holy kind of thing to little Tony for a while. He would sit in hours by the door, and just listen to the sounds of pure inventing that his father made in there. And if father would sometimes step on him because he was in the way, then he could do without an apology if he could still be there, and listen to that.
Therefore, when his father had come to him the day before he turned four and told him, that he would be allowed down into his workshop with him tomorrow. In hopes that he would finally learn something, and stop being so dumb; Tony had happily said yes.
The next day the small boy had woken up and hastily made his way down to the workshop. His father was already there, and the kid was happy he could finally do something with his father.
Father had given him something he needed to build. No guidance of anything was allowed. Tony had been immensely proud of his first creation. A circuit board, with a blue tinge to it. Just like the one his father used to make. He had gotten his father’s attention with childish glee, waving it in front of him with no pause, until it finally got his attention. He handed it over a little cautious, suddenly afraid he had made a flaw somewhere, so it wouldn’t work. It ran perfectly. All worked as he knew it should have, and while his father inspected it he got some new ideas on how to improve his design.
He honestly thought that he had done a brilliant job. Father didn’t think so.
He hadn’t even seen the ruler. He certainly never would have imagined that that would have happened.
He couldn’t feel his left hand for days afterwards.
Jarvis had cried on his behalf. That confused Tony. Crying was for babies, so why did a grown man cry. When he had asked, Jarvis had just cried harder. Tony just thought he might have been too stupid to understand.
That was the moment when Jarvis became one of the people he could trust in this house. He slowly evolved to becoming a father figure to Tony.
It only got worse. Jarvis would patch him up, and Ana would smuggle blueberries into his room, when Howard had locked him in there so he didn’t have to deal with him.
When they died, he couldn’t even cry.
---
He honestly didn’t even realize when it happened. One day, when he arose from an inventing binge, and made his way up to the common floor (that he had most certainly not designed because he hoped they would stop by), when he was met with people chatting. Which was weird because the only people that could talk in this house was Jarvis and himself.
He was met with the entire team saying “hello, and thank you for letting us stay here” to him, which was also weird, because people never really thanked him; so, he did the only genius thing he could think of, he fled back into the shop.
It continued like that for a little while. Until his stock of coffee and extra coffee and triple extra coffee ran out, and he had to make his way up to the common floor. Because no it wasn’t like he wanted to get to know them, shut up.
It went smoother after that. And Tony hadn’t even noticed that these idiots had made a special place in his heart. He hoped Jarvis would be proud of him.
Him and Clint had been fooling around. Like they always did. Steve would cook them dinner. Bruce would read with a small smile at their antics. Thor would think it was normal mortal behavior and join in on the fun. And Natasha would sit and outright laugh at them. It was great.
Of course, it had to get ruined.
It was like the first time. Only worse, because this was Clint, he was supposed to be a friend. He didn’t know where Clint had found the ruler. Just that one minute, they were playing a weird game of catch the genius, and then the next Tony had looked back and Clint had somehow acquired a ruler. His breathing got staggered- he looked back, and then all he could see was Howard chasing him, wanting to punish him, wanting to hit him over and over and overandover-ver-er.
People where calling for him. Sounding worried about him. He didn’t understand, where was the revulsion? Where was the pain?
He regained his composure gradually. He looked at his team horrified eyes. Thought, he must have done something wrong then. Then he fled. He ran like the floor was on fire down into his workshop, put lockdown mode on, and activated code delta-78674, so any overriding codes were rendering useless, even Pepper’s.
He hid in there for weeks. Steve would sit and wait to be let in, but when he gave up, he would already leave a plate of food, so Tony didn’t starve to death. When he came back a small smile would appear because the plate would always be empty. He tried talking to Tony, explaining that he could talk to them, to him, and that he would always be up to listen whenever he wanted to. It didn’t even have to be about what happened, just something meaningless and ordinary.
It took time to coax the genius out of his sanctuary, but it was proven worth it when Steve kissed him, and Tony felt safe and loved, and he just wanted to curl up to Steve and let those feelings envelop him forever.
It did.