Screams were still echoing in his head when he roamed the streets of New York, and he couldn't tell which of them were his own. Steve had told him to get some rest, tomorrow would be their first mission as a team. He didn't feel sleepy. He wasn't sure if he would ever feel sleepy again.
Bucky remembered what the world had been like when he was a kid. Women in short, glittering dresses, feathers in their hair, mysterious smiles on their faces. Men whistling as they walked home from work, without a worry in the world. Now everybody seemed grim. Most had lost someone, some had already lost everyone. Some hadn't heard from their friends and family in Europe for months.
Bucky wanted back on the field, he wanted to serve his country and do the right thing. He wanted to shoot Nazis, hell, he wanted to punch Hitler himself like Steve had pretended to do so many times. He wanted to fight alongside his best friend, even when he knew any time could be the last.
The future didn't really seem as bright as it had at the Stark Expo a few months ago. He should've looked forward to the war ending, to finding the woman he would marry, having kids and growing old. That was what kept all the other men sane.
But before he'd always had Steve. They'd always had each other, only each other. While he didn't have trouble finding girlfriends, he had trouble keeping them. None of them mattered like his best friend did. He had been protective of Steve, telling himself it was brotherly, selfless love, but after Steve saved him he wasn't certain anymore.
Now Steve was his equal, more than that. He was stronger and more popular than him. He didn't need to look out for him anymore and he wasn't sure how to do that. It had been two weeks yet he still expected the small boy who he used to know when he heard Steve's voice before seeing him.
Everyone had the hots for Captain America. Nobody cared about Steve Rogers. For Bucky, Steve had always been beautiful and he genuenly hadn't understood when the women he set him up with weren't interested, but he had to admit that he was truly a first class specimen now. And women saw it too – almost so that it was the only thing they saw.
Deep down, he knew that was a lie. Peggy Carter knew the man behind the shield, maybe not as well as Bucky did, but well enough for her love for Steve to be genuine.
And Bucky was happy for them, truly. He wanted nothing more than to see his Stevie happy, but he couldn't help but feel hollow watching them together. He didn't have his own sweetheart, and if he was honest, he wasn't really looking for one. It wasn't just the ladies who were head over heels for Cap.
For years, Bucky had reassured himself that his feelings for his best friend were just a normal part of growing up. How many books had he read where the protagonist had a nearly romantic relationship with another boy, but when he grew and matured he settled with a woman?
It was just that for Bucky, the endings always felt forced. He was left wondering if the writers were struggling with something repressed, like him, since they spent pages and pages describing the romance between two men, just to destroy it in the last few chapters.
Bucky liked women, for sure. He liked kissing them, touching in the dark, looking at them from afar, flirting at pubs. But none of that reached his heart, it had always been reserved for Steve. But he'd told himself if it was love, it wasn't the sort of love between two men that was considered a sin, it wasn't physical. Like Alexander the Great and his general Hephaestion, someone had said about that kind of friendship.
But then he'd tried reading ancient literature, and the philosophers argued over which of the two warriors was at the receiving end of anal sex. After that, he gave up looking for answers in Hellenic texts.
This morning, when him and Steve had changed in the same room he'd caught himself stealing glances at Steve's naked chest. Steve had noticed and raised a brow at him.
"It's hard getting used to you looking like that," Bucky had said, rolling his eyes. "You were always the better man out of the two of us, but at least I was stronger. My masculinity has taken quite a blow."
Steve had grinned as he was tying his belt. Bucky's eyes had fallen to his v-line. He was pretty sure he could never look like that, even if he worked out all his waking hours.
"You're still the handsome one," Steve had said, laughing. His laugh was still the same as always, like the sun coming out. Bucky hadn't been able to stop a mirroring smile spreading on his lips.
"That's bullshit and you know that as well as I do."
It was drizzling now, a full on rain would break out any minute. Bucky walked faster, towards the place where they were staying. It wouldn't do any good getting his uniform wet.
"Hey, soldier!" he heard a shout from the dark, and he stopped to look around to spot the speaker. "Do you wanna see your future?"
"I already saw the future," Bucky answered the old woman. Her clothes were worn and she was wearing strange jewelry so Bucky figured she was some sort of fortune teller. "Wasn't impressed."
"Wasn't speaking of the Stark Expo," she said. "I'm talking your personal future. I feel it's gonna be extraordinary."
"Oh?" Bucky said. He didn't believe in the supernatural so he usually kept his distance to people like her, but after spending a month as a captive he had realized that any day might as well be his last. It surely wouldn't do any harm to let her paint a pretty picture for him to dream of. "What do you see? A beautiful wife I hope?"
"A penny or I ain't talking," she said, holding out her palm. Bucky reached in his pockets, and miraculously indeed found one penny. She took it, and searched her pockets in turn. She took out a small bottle. "Drink this before you go to bed and think about the thing you're most curious about."
Bucky took the bottle and stared at it. He felt cheated on. "I thought you were going to read my palm or something," he said. That would've been entertaining. Now he would have nothing. Maybe the liquid would at least help him sleep.
"That's not how I operate," she said, and before Bukcky could answer she was gone. Almost like magic – definitely a well practised trick.
The rain was now beating his shoulders and he was shivering from the cold so he ran, pressing the bottle in his hand. He was still debating whether he should drink it or not when he entered his room, and changed to his night wear. He held the bottle against light; it was made of blue glass and the liquid appeared to be clear. He opened the cork and smelled it. Nothing. Maybe it was just water.
He held it on his lips for a moment, but then decided against it. It could've been poison.
...
He never threw out the bottle. It survived all the battles in his pocket, and once in a while he would look at it, and consider drinking it. A year passed, people started calling them the Howling Commandoes. He learned to fight with Steve, he learned to leave the room when Peggy and Steve were having a moment. He didn't learn why people kept starting wars when they ruined everything that was before, and became everything that mattered.
...
The next mission would be personal. They had to capture doctor Zola, the man who was responsible for his torture, and bring him in to custody. It should've been like any other mission, but Bucky was so tired and he had a bad feeling about it.
Once again he fished the bottle from his pocket. Maybe the future would brighten him up and if it was indeed poison then, well, Bucky wasn't scared of dying.
Finally, he threw the liquid down his throat.
It tasted distanlty of honey, and he felt almost relaxed. Maybe it would be of some use after all. He rememberred the old woman telling him to think about something, and he could think of nothing else than Steve. His Steve. Captain America Steve. He was so concentrated on Steve that he didn't even notice falling asleep.
...
When Bucky woke up, he didn't know where he was. He sat up, alert, and instinctly reached for his gun, but it wasn't there. He'd been sleeping on a couch, a really nice couch at that. The desing was peculiar, as was everything else in the room. The furniture was all sharp edges and toned down colors. There were strange little lights, and things that appeared to be highly modern machines designed for some purpose. The room alone seemed like more than even Howard Stak could come up with, so Bucky didn't understand how his subconscious could've made it up.
One wall of the room was a window opening to the sea. The view was calming, unlike anything he'd seen in a long while. He couldn't decide whether this was a dream or something else.
He heard noices, and in the few secods he had he decided he wouldn't want to risk being seen if this was not a dream. He ran to the other end of the room, and hid behind a curtain. He wished he had a gun, or even a knife to defend himself with.
Three men entered, and good natured chatter filled the room. They didn't seem to be the bad guys here, actually they looked like the first truly happy people Bucky had seen in years.
One of them had honey blonde hair and somehow Bucky's attention gravitated to him, and when he recocnized the man he almost called out his name. Steve was radiant like the sun, his smile bigger than ever. He seemed a little older than he should've been, sunburnt and happy. The differences in Steve's appearance had Bucky remain from announcing his presence. Something was definitely wrong with the picture.
Steve had a strange rectangular object in his hand, and it lit up Steve's face. Then Bucky noticed his hand – left ring finger to be precise. He was wearing a ring, and Bucky's heart sunk. Maybe the old woman's drink had worked for some unexplainable reason, and this was really the future. Bucky wondered who the lucky woman was – he would bet his money on Peggy. He wanted to be happy for his friend.
He turned his gaze away from Steve, who belonged to someone else. One of the other two men had his back on Bucky since he was going through the cabinet, but he caught his attention for two reasons. Firstly, he'd never seen a hair like that on a man: it was long, and it was tied up to a bun. Secondly, he had a metal arm. Bucky wondered how that was possible.
"Stevie, do we need farine sugar?" the man asked, and his voice was so familiar that Bucky froze. He turned to look at Steve, and Bucky could see his face clearly too. It was like looking to a mirror, expect that the mirror was broken. His posture was different, he was way more muscular and the face was had a few new lines, but it was undeniably Bucky himself, with long hair and a metal arm.
"Hmm," Steve said, scrunching up his eyebrows and staring harder at the object in his hand.
"Friday, what do we need to bake a cake?" the third man said, and Bucky looked around to see if there was a fourth person present that he hadn't noticed, since Friday appeared to be someone's name.
"Six lare eggs, one cup of sugar, one cup of flour and half a teaspoon of baking powder. Shall I read the preparation instructions too, Mr. Stark?" a female voice said, but Bucky couln't tell where it was coming from. His eyes snapped back to the third person, but it wasn't Howard like he'd expected. The man had dark hair and a similar beard to Howard, and at first glance he could've been mistaken for Howard. But he had a different face structure, and like him and Steve, the third man was older than Howard. Kind of prettier too. There was a certain vulvenaribility in his eyes that he'd never seen in Howard's, and it made him look more human.
"No need," the man said. "We don't need farine sugar, Buck. Do you already have flour?"
Only Steve called him Buck, and he wasn't sure what to think of this man being that close with him. The future Bucky didn't seem to mind though, he reached on the top shelf for the flour, and Bucky noticed a ring on his hand too. It didn't arouse as much of a reaction in him than Steve's had, which he cursed himself for. He hoped he was happy with the lady.
Steve set the glowing object on the table. "Tony, get me the eggs, Bucky, a bowl and a whisk."
The man called Tony saluted. "Yes, Boss." He had a ring too. Maybe he was a brother of either of the women him and Steve had married? It seemed like a weird coincidence that his name was Stark, though. But then again, Bucky didn't know Howard that well. He could've had sisters and brothers he didn't know about, and maybe Tony Stark was one of them.
"We're not your minions, Rogers," future Bucky said.
"Oh yeah?" Steve asked and Bucky could swear that was a wicked grin and it looked out of place on Steve's face. The look went straight to his groin and he blushed, even though he knew no one was looking. "Then why do you do everything I want to?"
"That movie really ruined the word minions forever," Tony said and placed the carton of eggs on the counter before Steve. Simultaneusly, future Bucky said: "Who was the one taking orders last night?"
Bucky wished he knew what they were talking about, since a slight flush had appeared on Steve's cheeks.
"Babes, as much as I'm enjoying this, we are supposed to bake Nat a birthday cake," Tony said. At least the man was just as flirty as Howard Stark.
"And whose idea was that?" future Bucky asked.
"I'm not ashamed to admit that," Steve said.
"Yet," Tony said. Steve snorted, and started breaking the eggs into the bowl.
"I still think we should dye the whole thing black," future Bucky said. "Maybe a little black cat on the top."
"For her aesthetic, or yours?" Tony asked. Future Bucky laughed. He seemed to like this guy.
"Hers, obviously. I'm a selfless being," future Bucky said, with a wink.
"You, my dear, are greedy as hell," Tony said, but a grin was playing on his lips. Bucky was confused. This conversation seemed like shameless flirting to him, but guys didn't do it like that. He sometimes jokingly flirted with Steve, yes, but they never went this far. And he had no idea what were the things they kept referring to.
"Sugar," Steve said.
"You've never called me that before," Tony said. Future Bucky handed him the sugar, and pecked his cheek as he did so. Bucky's eyes widened. That wasn't something they'd ever done, and it definitely shouldn't have been done like that. Future Bucky was demanding for attention like a puppy, but wasn't put off when Steve didn't react.
"You're boring," he said.
"Lucky you have me," Tony said. Future Bucky kissed his cheek too – or so Bucky guessed, he couldn't see clearly from that angle. The two lowered their voices and Bucky couldn't hear them anymore, but unlike Steve, he could still see them.
Bucky noticed that future Bucky had a bottle of syrup in his metal arm, and he was crushing it harder and harder. Bucky wasn't sure if he knew he was doing that; future Bucky was still chatting with Tony and he paid no attention to his metal arm. Could it be working on its own?
The bottle gave out, and the sticky syrup flew everywhere - including Steve's hair, clothes, face and the dough.
"What the hell?" Steve asked, his hand frozen in the middle of stirring.
"Language," future Bucky and Tony said simultaneusly, as if it was an inside joke. Bucky was shocked to hear Steve curse. Apparently even the best of them could be corrupted by the wrong company.
"We don't even need syrup for this?" Steve said, like a question, as if he was still astonished something like this could happen.
"Because you're so sweet," future Bucky hummed, grinning as Tony stepped closer to Steve. There was a drop of the golden syrup on Steve's cheek, and it was sliding down. It never reached his jaw. Tony stuck out his tongue and licked it off Steve's cheek. Bucky's eyes were wide from disbelief. He was pretty sure that was not what normal friendships were supposed to look like. But then again, if this was Howard Stark's brother he figured normal wasn't a word that to use of him.
"Mmm. You taste like freedom, Cap," Tony said. "Don't you agree Bucky?"
"That joke is getting old," Steve said, but even from where Bucky was standing he could see that he was flustered. Future Bucky closed the distance between himself and Steve.
"Is this?" he asked, and leaned closer. Exept that he didn't go for Steve's cheek like Tony had, and Bucky's heart was racing harder and harder. Future Bucky licked Steve's bottom lip, and from the distance Bucky couldn't be sure if there even was syrup. But it didn't matter when future Bucky parted his lips, and he gently bit Steve's bottom lip. Steve didn't seem surprised, as if this was normal for them, he just remained still and let Bucky kiss him, slide his tongue in his mouth. Tony leaned for Steve's neck and left fluttering kisses along as he moved towards his shoulders, the kisses getting more pressure each time. The two sandwitched Steve between them, and Steve moaned from pleasure. Bucky had to bite his own tongue so he wouldn't moan at the sight they made.
His own skin felt burning hot and his pants were way too tight suddenly. This couldn't have been the future, it must've been some sort of fantasy that his drug indulged mind had come up with. That didn't explain the rings or the house, but Bucky's mind was hazy and he didn't feel like analyzing the scene. He was sure he could never get the way Steve's moans sounded like from his brain now.
The other Bucky and Steve broke apart to catch their breath while Tony still continued to work his magic on Steve's neck.
"Guys... the cake," Steve panted. Tony's hand travelled down his chest – his muscular chest covered in a shirt that was ridiculously tight. He cupped Steve's cock through his pants and Steve's head fell back and mouth opened in pleasure. His eyes were half closed, cheeks and lips the same shade of rosy pink. Steve thrust in Tony's hand, and Bucky could see that he was hard.
"Do you want us to stop?" Tony asked mischievously.
"No."
The other Bucky grabbed the front of Steve's shirt and simply ripped it off. Steve's chest was godlike, smooth like a sculpure from ancient times, but alive under the touch of the other Bucky's palm. His nipples hardened as he brushed them, his abs jumped under his fingers. Bucky wanted to curse. He wanted to touch so bad that it was almost like pain, and for a moment he wasn't sure if the urge of jealousy or arousal was stronger.
The other Bucky picked Steve up on his arms, easy as if he was still his small best friend, and carried him to the couch with Tony following behind. The other Bucky dropped Steve on the couch, and he only had time to rise on his knees before Tony got behind his back, and wrapped his arms around Steve's torso. He dropped a bottle on Steve's lap which the other Bucky picked up. It was syrup.
"There's syrup in my hair," Steve complained, eyeing the bottle that the other Bucky was holding. "You're getting that thing away from me right now."
"But Honey," the other Bucky said, making a pouty face. He poured the rest of the syrup on Steve's chest, and went to lick it off his nipples. "Or should I say Syrup?"
Steve was clearly about to huff annoyedly, but with the other Bucky sucking his nipples and Tony kissing his neck it came out as a moan instead. "If you were this horny you could've just told me before we started baking. Or waited until we were finished. Or had a quickie together. Anything that didn't involve syrup."
"This is more fun," Tony said, and pulled him in for a kiss. Steve had to arch his neck to kiss the man behind him, and Bucky had the urge to step out of his hiding place, even if just to lay one kiss on Steve's throat. He cupped his own achingly hard cock instead, and squeezed to get some release.
"I need to investigate if anything got in your pants, Stevie," the luckier Bucky said. He licked one last long stripe against Steve's nipple, and pushed Steve's jeans and pants down. His cock was pink and hard, hanging between his legs like a demand.
Bucky had seen Steve naked, but never while aroused and right then he would've sold his soul to change places with the other Bucky. He hoped that, no matter if the scenario was just something from the depths of his subconscious, the two men knew how fucking lucky they were to have this beautiful man let them whatever they wished with his body.
The other Bucky brushed his knuckles against Steve's shaft, then leaned forward and kissed the tip. He licked along the vein and then spread the precome around with his thumb. Tony let go of Steve for a moment to remove his own shirt and jeans. He was only wearing his underwear when he returned to kissing Steve, and his fingers were sticky with syrup. One by one they disappeared between Steve's buttcheecks, and Bucky couldn't breathe for a moment. The sounds Steve made were mezmerizing. The other Bucky took the head of Steve's dick in his mouth and sucked. His cheeks hollowed, he pushed down until he had the whole lenght in his mouth, then slid back off his cock, then sucked it in again.
Bucky couldn't help it, he pushed his hand in his pants and wrapped his palm around his dick. The friction felt so good he could've cried out. He thumbed his own head, wishing his hand was Steve's mouth. He freed his cock from his pants, and started stroking himself slowly, listening to Steve's moans. He leaned his weigh on the window behind him, hoping that no one was down there, looking up. The air smelled sweet.
The other Bucky let Steve slide out of his mouth and now it was his turn to remove his clothes. Steve pulled his shirt off while he got rid of his jeans. The body under the clothes was achingly familiar to Bucky, yet alien. The other Bucky was build heavier than him, and he had scars where Bucky only had smooth skin. His metal arm was connected to his shoulder, and seemed like a natural continuation of his body.
Tony pushed Steve on his hands and knees, and pulled his jeans off all the way. He also finally removed his underwear. It was the first time Bucky fully concentrated on this man naked, and he truly was breathtaking. Where Steve was beautiful like a breath of fresh hair and the other Bucky was ruggedly handsome, Tony was seductively pretty. He wasn't as big as the others but he was muscular too, and his dark eyes and long lashes gave Bucky the idea that not a lot of people said no when this man asked for something. And Bucky was sure he was aware of it. The special brand of seduction that Howard had created, this man had perfected.
The other Bucky was naked too, his hard dick hanging right in front of Steve's face. The other Bucky grunted approvingly. Bucky held his breath as Steve opened his mouth and let the other Bucky slowly push in his mouth. Bucky whimpered quietly at the sight, but the three men were making enough noice for it to go unnoticed.
Tony removed his fingers from inside Steve, and Steve's protests was silenced by the other Bucky's cock. Tony lined himself against Steve's ass, and started thrusting inside. Bucky wondered how Steve felt around him, if he was tight and warm or loose and pliable. He squeezed his own dick for a moment, and then started stroking harder. He was already close and while he felt good he was also painfully aware that Steve would never be his like this Steve was the other Bucky and Tony's. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to look his best friend in the eyes again, but right now it felt like it was worth it. This was worth anything.
Tony grunted when his hips met Steve's ass, he pulled back and slammed in. His stomach muscles kept clenching and unclenching, and it was strangely captivating. Steve was grasping the fabric under his fingers. Tony's hand sneaked between Steve's legs, and he wrapped his palm around Steve's cock and started jerking him, fast yet firm.
"Fuck yes," Tony said and leaned forward until the other Bucky got the hint and closed the distance between their mouths, and they kissed over Steve's back. They were moaning into each other's mouths, Steve's grunts barely audible. If Bucky's panting was a little too loud, none of the guys would notice.
Or so he thought.
Suddenly, without any warning the other Bucky seemed to freeze in the middle of the kiss with Tony, and his eyes looked straight at Bucky. Bucky stopped all movement's as if that would make him invisible, even stopped breathing. He wished that his heart would stop beating so damn loud. Then the other Bucky smirked, at him. He bit Tony's lower lip, making the older man moan particularly loud, and grabbed Steve's hair to pull him to an angle he preferred. Bucky almost came then, he could feel the heat building on his hips but he tried to hold off. He didn't know what was going on but he felt like it would be embarrassing to come under the gaze of the other Bucky. For a moment he let himself imagine that the other Bucky would call his name and invite him to join, that he'd be able to touch Steve wherever he preferred.
Then the other Bucky's smirk disappeared and he looked grim, like the man Bucky had seen staring back from the mirror sometimes. The other Bucky furrowed his brows, and his gaze got scarily intense as he directed it back to Tony. He pulled their lips only slightly apart, so he could speak. He stroked Steve's neck, much gentler than a moment ago.
"I'm so glad to be here," he said, voice hoarse. "I'm so fucking glad to have you two as my fiancés. I love you both so fucking much."
Bucky had almost forgotten the rings, and his eyes widened. There weren't any girlfriends involved, these three men were engaged to each other. He didn't know how his mind had come up with something like this, or how he could simultaneusly feel like he was on the verge of crying and coming, yet here he was.
"We love you too," Tony said and kissed the other Bucky deeply. Steve pulled off his cock for a moment, and planted a kiss on his hips.
"I can't wait for us to be married," Steve said. "I want the whole world to know we belong to each other."
He took the other Bucky's cock back in his mouth, and Tony twisted his wrist on his dick. Steve's whole body went rigid and he came in Tony's hand, letting his mouth hang open for the other Bucky to fuck him.
"All that pain I went through; dying, Hydra, rescurrection – it was worth it. It was worth it because I get the best husbands in the whole universe. And I feel like, somehow, deep down, I must've known all along that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't think I would've survived otherwise - fuck, Steve!"
Steve must have done something with his tongue that had the other Bucky struggle with his monologue. He looked at Bucky again, and his mouth opened as Steve was sucking his cock and and Tony was kissing his neck, and then Bucky was coming, and he was pretty sure the other Bucky was too. Tony cursed and squeezed Steve's tights, but Bucky and the other Bucky held eye contact through their orgasms. It was the most intense orgasm he'd ever had, like looking into a mirror with a mind of it's own. The other Bucky fell back on the couch when he was finished, pulling Steve and Tony with him. They laid their heads on the other Bucky's chest, and planted lazy kisses on each other. The other Bucky still looked at Bucky.
"You will be happy," he said.
The room went dark around Bucky, and then he opened his eyes. His room was still dark but it wasn't long till sunrise. He had his hand down his pants, a wet spot on the front. He was glad he'd woken up before Steve had come to wake him. That had been some weird dream, he needed a moment to recover from it.
He didn't usually remember his dreams, and lately all of them had been nightmares. His head was aching, like a mild hangover. He noticed the empty bottle on his bedside table, and threw it to the trash can. He would never, ever buy questionable liquids from strange women. He needed to be at his best today, fighting beside Captain America once again, his Steve.
He remebered how Steve had opened his rose pink lips, welcoming the other Bucky's cock to slide in his mouth in his dream. He shook his head, and went to wash up. He was going to forget about that dream.
When Bucky fell, most of his senses were screaming in pain. Steve's horrified face was ingraved to his retinas. But some small part of him thought of his dream from last night, and how ironic it was that his subconscious had told him he would be happy just hours before he died.
...
When he woke up, he soon wished he wouldn't have. There was just more pain and suffering, and he tried to concentrate on Steve. He had saved him the last time, he wouldn't let him down now.
...
He didn't lose hope. He just kept forgetting what he was hoping for.
...
Once, the scientists fucked up. They forgot to restrain him, and left him in a room alone with a knife. He couldn't do any proper harm on them, the best case scenario would be that he'd take of them down and then suffer his punishment. But he could hurt himself. He cold slid open his own throat and end it all. He picked up the knife.
You will be happy, a voice whispered inside his head as he pressed the blade against his throat. It sounded like his own. He didn't believe it, whoever it was, but it made him hesitate. The scientists rushed in and put him under. He didn't try again.
...
A man called him Bucky. I can't wait to marry you, someone whispered in his head.
"Who the hell is Bucky?"
...
Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America, was his best friend since childhood. The man they were fighting was Anthony Edward Stark, son of Howard and Maria Stark, who James Buckhanan Barnes had killed. He didn't know the man personally, and yet every blow he laid on Stark hurt twice as much as the ones Stark laid on him. The man ripped his arm off. Steve carried him away.
...
Bucky was strong, for Steve, when they froze him again. He didn't need to fight against the panic attack for long because soon he couldn't move or cry anymore.
...
Steve was there when he woke up. They hugged, and it was the first warm thing in his life for a long time. He didn't want to let go.
...
Tony Stark didn't like him, but they agreed to be civil with each other. Steve and Tony got over their difficulties slowly.
...
Tony caught him, one night, when the walls were falling on him and air was escaping his lungs. He massaged Bucky's hand until he could speak again, and told him he knew how it was. They didn't sleep that night, and for the first time in a long time Bucky could open up about the horrors he'd been through.
...
Steve was happy when he told him he'd promised to let Tony take a look at his metal arm. He came to the lab too, and the three of them chatted about normal things.
...
Sharon left Steve. Bucky and Tony cooked for him, and they watched a movie. Steve said he was actually relieved, and he felt wrong because of that. He fell asleep on Bucky's shoulder, and Bucky kept staring at Tony's lips. They kissed. Tony pushed him away, and told him that he didn't want to come between Bucky and Steve. From that night, things were awkward between the three of them. Steve wasn't sure why.
...
Bucky had seen pride parades, and they made him feel like his chest was going to burst. It wasn't wrong to be a man who liked other men anymore. Love was love.
When people opposed same-sex marriage they said things like "Marriage is between man and a woman. If we let men marry men and women marry women what do they want legalized next? Polyamory?" They said the word like it was a joke to make everyone realize how ridiculous queer people were. Bucky googled it. Apparently it was a real thing. He asked Natasha. Even she laughed at first, but then she realized Bucky was being serious. She apologised. Said it was a real thing. That the world was far from ready, and apologised again.
...
Bucky's heart was beating when he waited for Steve and Tony at the park where he had invited them. They seemed confused when they arrived. Bucky told them he loved them, both. He couldn't look them in the eyes.
Steve kissed him. Then Tony kissed him, and they kissed each other when all of them were hugging. Bucky was crying, then all of them were crying and laughing. Tony tried to make a joke.
...
They made it work.
...
Steve's mouth was like pure bliss on his cock, and Tony's lips tasted like syrup. Something about the scene awakened something inside him, a memory from a forgotten life. From one of his forgotten lives.
He opened his eyes, and looked at the corner of the room. There he was, hiding behind a curtain, unnoticeable if you didn't know where to look. The man was wearing old pyjamas, and had his hand around his cock. He looked like a deer caught on headlines when his eyes met Bucky's, and Bucky smirked. He bit Tony's lip, and the older man moaned. His next thrust to Steve's mouth was a little too hard, and he could feel him shake between them.
The younger Bucky had stopped stroking his cock, scared of being caught. Bucky tried to make it clear that he was allowed to look, it wasn't anything he wouldn't experience seventy years later. Younger Bucky started moving his hand on his lenght again slowly, and Bucky concentrated on his face.
It was like a broken mirror. Youger Bucky's cheeks were hollow like he'd been underfed, and he had dark circles around his eyes. Suddenly Bucky remembered the screams, not being sure if they belonged to him or someone else. For this man it had only been a year since Steve had saved him, a year filled with gunfire, blood and pain. This man had learned to scream in pain, but not yet how to stay quiet.
Only a day until he as he knew himself would die, and suffer from torture for seventy years. This version of himself had been through more than anyone should ever experience, yet it was nothing like the pain that was waiting for him in the future. He could feel his smirk fading, and he gently parted his lips from Tony's.
"I'm so glad to be here," he said, and even he himself was shocked by how desperate his voice sounded. "I'm so fucking glad to have you two as my fiancés. I love you both so fucking much."
"We love you too," Tony said and pulled him back for the kiss. Bucky truly did love these men, but while his heart felt like it was bursting from happines he could almost feel the decades of torture and brain washing that stood between the younger Bucky and this moment. Steve pulled off his cock, and kissed his hip.
"I can't wait for us to be married," he said. "I want the whole world to know we belong to each other."
Steve sucked his head and then dove back, unaware of how much Bucky meant it. And he was glad – he didn't wish for Steve or Tony to remember all the horrors of his life right now. This was between him and himself.
Steve's body went rigid and he opened his mouth so that Bucky could use him like he preferred. He had his other hand guiding Steve's head, and the other on Tony's neck. Steve's hair was sticky with syrup.
"All that pain I went through; dying, Hydra, rescurrection – it was worth it. It was worth it because I get the best husbands in the whole universe. And I feel like, somehow, deep down, I must've known all along that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't think I would've survived otherwise - fuck, Steve!"
Steve had graced his teeth against his cock. It could've been an accident but he knew his fiancé, and Steve preferred to keep the emotional discussions and sex apart. He succeed; Bucky had hard time remembering what he'd meant to say. Since Bucky ignored his mouth Tony had started kissing his neck, which left Bucky with a perfect view to his younger self. The younger Bucky seemed to be beyond shame now, he was jerking off with a quick pace, his eyes filled with lust and staring right at Bucky's.
Bucky felt his muscles clenching, and then he was coming in Steve's mouth and all over his face.
"Holy shit," Tony whispered against his neck. The younger Bucky was coming too, and Bucky distantly thought that this was the most important orgasm of his life.
He was spent, and couldn't hold himself up on his knees anymore so he laid back, taking his lovers with him. They adjusted so that they were laying against his chest, and he had never felt happier. Younger Bucky had tears in his eyes.
"You will be happy," he said, putting all his plausibliness to that one sentence. It was true, but he needed to make the other believe it. He closed his eyes when the memories threatened to drown him.
"I am happy, love," Steve said, and kissed his cheek. "But I am never baking with you two again."
"I think it turned out pretty well," Tony said, and winked at him. "Don't you, Buck?"
"It's two on one, Steve," Bucky said. He smiled at them. He loved them more than anything.
"But seriously, I am happy too," Tony said, and hugged them tighter.
"I know." Bucky said. It wasn't for you, he thought, but didn't say it out loud. Honesty was the key to a happy and healthy relationship, but maybe he could have this one secret.
He sent a silent thanks to the old woman who had sold him the potion, or whatever it had been. He didn't even know her name, and she could be the reason that he had lived to see this day.
This day, when he could finally be happy without having it weighted down by shame.