Spilling Tea
“So, you have to swing your hip in conjunction with your shoulders.” Peter says standing behind Flash as he is teaching him how to golf.
“Does that mean that I can be like Tiger?”
“Yup. If you watch all of his techniques, then it’ll all be connected.” Peter tells Flash. “You’ll get it in one fluid motion.”
“Alright!” Flash cheers.
“Coming through.” My mom announces as we are coming from the garage with a couple of boxes.
“So, what do you do, Max?” My dad asks Peter.
“I work for Dr. Connors up at-”
“Columbia!” My daddy exclaims. “I know him!”
“Really?”
“Yes. I heard that he was working on a spider project which I am funding.”
“That is amazing, Mr. Osborn.”
“Please, call me Norman or dad.”
“So what do you plan to do at Columbia?”
“I plan on becoming a professor of science in either Bio-Chemistry after I obtain my Master’s degree. I already have my biology degree, so I figured that it shouldn’t be too hard.”
I simply look at Peter because…..I was right about him about being a biologist.
“That is amazing. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to drop by Oscorp. Hell, I might even hire you if you want.”
Peter’s eyes lit up.
“Thanks, Norman!”
“You know, I always thought that Harry would go on and continues his studies in science, but instead, he went a different route. After he obtained his degree in chemistry, Harry here, decided to get away for a good year or two volunteering in India, Spain and Australia. After that, he came back and pick up odd jobs, took up art classes and chose horrible suitors.”
“Daddy!”
“Harry, I am proud of you for experiencing life and making sure that you are getting at that place in your life to take over Oscorp, but let’s face it, your suitors were horrible!”
“Name one bad ex-boyfriend.” I challenge.
“Jack. The one who cheated on you with an older man twice your ages, who is also my therapist?”
“He slept with our therapist?!”
“You didn’t know?” My dad asked me.
"Harry, even your grandma knew." My mom told me.
“I just knew that he cheated, but I didn’t know that it was with our therapist!”
“Well now you know.”
“Man, I should’ve become a lawyer or something.” I say absentmindedly.
"Yup, that way you can do your own biddings and bail yourself out when you cause trouble.” Peter tells me.
I simply stare at him, catching the actual meaning of his statement.
Peter and my parents start laughing.
“Ooh. Home made ornaments.” Peter says as I opened the box.
“Yup.” My mom confirms.
"They are...They're so beautiful." Peter says in awe.
“Harry here made these when he was little. He was a little withdrawn as a boy at times.”
“Ok, Mom.”
“Flash and Gwen were so vibrant and full of life all the time, but Harry could be a little anti-social.”
“Really?” Peter asks.
“Mom!”
“You know it’s true!” My mommy tells me. “You were gay before you even knew what the word was. I mean, we even paid a little boy to play with you, and all you did was kiss the living daylights out of him.”
Kill me now!!!!!
“He even gave us out money back and gave Harry a plastic ring, invited us to their little wedding and everything. It was adorable!” My dad supplied.
“Alright!” I say.
“After James and his family moved, it was Harry and Emily’s make-up, his little one-man shows with his friend BoBo Blonkers, and a lot of pink things.”
“Bobo Blonkers?” Peter teases as I just want to get away from everything.
“Imaginary friend.” My mom confirms.
“Thanks, Mom. Thanks a lot.” I sarcastically say as my hand is on my forehead while I look down at the floor in shame.
“You guys! I think he is talking to Bobo Blonkers!” Peter says.
My mom exclaims.
“Normie, Max just-” My mom starts laughing.
“That was good!” My dad chuckles.
“Harry was just talking to-to-” My mom says in between her laughs.
“Bobo Blonkers.” My dad finishes.
They both start laughing.
“This was great.” Peter says. “I feel good.”
“Me too!” My mom says laughing like a crazed women as my dad is rolling around on the floor laughing his head off.
Speaking of which, when the hell did he land on the ground?
“So, Max, would you like to put the angel on top of the tree?” My mom asks Peter once she recovers from laughing.
“Um, I usually do that.” I say. “I have been doing that for years. It’s the Osborn tradition since dad had to lift me up to put it on top of the tree.”
“Awww, don’t be selfish.” My mom says rubbing my cheek.
I pout as my mom gives Peter the Christmas angel.
“Daddy, that’s my thing!” I whine. “It’s tradition. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with changing up traditions?” My dad asks. “We figured that since Max is here, we’re going to alter some of the traditions!”
“But-”
“No buts Harold Theopolis Osborn!” My daddy reprimands in a voice that I'm still scared of. “Max, could you-?”
“Sure.” Peter says as he takes the angel from my mom.
“Thank you.” My parents tell him.
“No, thank you.” He says.
He climbs the little ladder and places the angel on top of the tree.
“Perfect!” My mom exclaims.
I am not happy.
Not at all.