Prologue
Wade stumbles, registering the back of his head blowing open, and the rest of his body leaving with it. Ringing fills his ears, which he's pretty sure is one of the only parts of his body intact right now. No—he can still see out of his eyes so he figures his head’s relatively fine. Phew, that's good. There's acid sizzling on his skin. He can hear it along with the ringing. He registers being picked up seconds before he goes to court Death.
Peter shoots another web, and finally reaches his destination. His mind hums with exhaustion and relief as he lands in the alleyway and picks up his duffel bag. He registers the sound of people walking into the alleyway and quickly ducks behind the dumpster.
"Aw man, that was too easy," some guy says.
"Yeah, you think he'll stay dead this time?" another responds.
"Who the fuck cares, man. It's Deadpool. He comes back, we'll just blow his ass to hell again. All ya gotta do is threaten a kid and he comes fuckin' runnin'. Just throw him in the dumpster, then let's blow this joint."
There's a big crack! as Wade's skull collides with the dumpster and the bone shatters, then a low snicker.
"Yeah, let's blow this joint like we blew his ass up."
Spider-man steps out from behind the dumpster, but they're already gone. He goes to check the dumpster and, much to his horror, he finds three quarters of a skull and half a mask still on it, eye sockets staring blankly at him as the guy’s mask begins to slide off his head. He quickly abandons the thought of changing into his civvy clothes and picks up the head, shooting his webbing out, heading for home.
He's vaguely aware of how stupid and impulsive this is, bringing a mercenary home with him, but he's only met the guy once, and he does have a moral code. Besides, he reasons, it must be awful to wake up alone like that, sitting in a dumpster, dirty and naked. He'd never wish that on anyone, no matter how cruel. It must be lonely, he realizes, to have enemies that are just willing to toss your dead body in a dumpster and leave. Peter feels bad, which he probably shouldn't, since Deadpool is still a mercenary, but he does. He wonders if maybe he could get some tips from Wolverine on how to help Deadpool regenerate easier, since it must feel unpleasant to knit yourself back together again like that.
As previously mentioned, he's only met Deadpool once. It was purely coincidence, but someone had literally blown his head off that day, and by the time Peter was done with his battle three hours later, Deadpool had already grown and new head and was slipping a new mask over it. He'd made some innuendos and told him his ass was great, and then he’d left before Spider-man could properly meet him. Peter figures since it only took three hours for Deadpool to grow back a head, that his whole body shouldn't take more than a day.
Peter arrives at his apartment and takes a careful look around before crawling in through the window, setting Deadpool's head down on his counter. He grabs some blankets and pillows to make it rest comfortably, figuring he'll move it to the couch or something when it grows a little more. Right now it's just a skull and half a mask. Peter pulls the mask away, figuring it might help Deadpool heal faster, before slipping off to his room to change.