Chapter 3
I woke in the morning with Loki's arm draped over me. I stretched as deeply as I could while careful not to move him. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I thought about the last day. How much fun Leo and I had building with his blocks, how I'd been able to sneak in a nap during the day, how great of a time we'd had as a family when Loki had come home. I remembered the story Loki had told and how sweet he'd been before bed, helping me into my pajamas and curling me into his side. Sometimes I didn't hate being his wife.
A yawn is what alerted me that he had woken up. I turned to face him, peering into his tired emerald eyes.
"Good morning." I greeted softly.
"Good morning." He responded, leaning in to peck me on the lips. I smiled in response.
"I was thinking you could stay home today." I began, bringing my hands up to place on his chest.
"Were you?" Loki raised his eyebrow.
"Hear me out." I laughed, sliding my hands up to rest behind his neck. "Stay home. Spend time with Leo. You know he'd love it. And we can catch up on some reading. Or we could watch something on TV. Or we could stay in bed until we absolutely have to get up for Leo's sake." I offered, looking up at my husband.
"I have to deal with something this morning." Loki responded, grazing his lips across my cheek. "But then I'll come home and we'll see about that day at home." I smiled. I was feeling completely content this morning. What a wonder a good nights' rest can be.
"Promise?" I prodded. Loki let out a chuckle.
"Yes." I grinned, rolling back onto my back. This time I fully stretched, feeling the euphoria of all my muscles greeting the morning. "Out of bed little one." Loki urged, rolling out himself. With a flick of his hand, we were both fully clothed.
"What did I used to do to get dressed?" I laughed.
And then in happened.
The flicker.
They come, sometimes. Little flickers, little windows into my old life. I'll be having a perfectly pleasant time and then a little flashback will remind me that this isn't where I belong.
This time it was of my older brother, Frankie.
"One day you're gonna have to live in those." He laughed, pointing his thumb at the scrubs on my bed.
"One day. But not today." I replied, carefully coating my lashes with mascara. "You ready for that big ol' world of all work and no play?" Frankie wondered, crossing his arms.
"What're you even doing in here Frank?" I asked, annoyance clear in my tone.
"Mom wants you." He responded, turning to leave my room. "Where are you going anyways?" I rolled my eyes. I was sixteen, and I didn't have to share anything with him that I didn't want to.
"None of your business."
"Thea?" Loki's voice pulled me out, forcing me back to reality.
"Hm?" I wondered, sitting to getting out of bed. Loki walked over to me, grabbing my hands in his.
"Where do you keep going?" He questioned, bringing my hands to his lips.
"What do you mean?" Keep? Have I been doing this a lot lately? Loki seemed to recognize his mistake.
"Never mind. Let's get breakfast." I frowned but still followed him to the kitchen where people were scurrying about to prepare the first meal. The commotion stopped as soon as we entered. People dropped into bows and curtsies, so deep you could hardly tell who they were.
"Oh you don't--" I started, but Loki squeezed my hand, his warning sign.
"Good morning my king." Daniel, the head chef, greeted, still deep in his bow. "My queen." Loki knew it made me uncomfortable when people referred to me like that, and still, he insisted people do it. I nodded in response, acknowledging his politeness. "What can we do for you?"
"Anything is fine, chef." I spoke before Loki could say anything. "We are lucky to eat whatever you'll feed us. And please, you can all stand straight." Daniel stood, smiling in my direction.
"Well we've got a great menu planned for today." He promised.
"Can't wait to try it." I responded, sending a soft smile his way. Loki had stayed uncharacteristically quiet as I spoke with out chef. At first I didn't know whether he was simply deferring to me or if he was upset with me for belittling his authority. He did that sometimes. Got angry when I treated people like people.
We left the kitchen in a haste, sitting down at the dining table. I was quiet, careful not to bother Loki if he was in one of his moods. The sound of workers preparing our meal could be heard from the kitchen, Chef ordering people around in order to get us our breakfast quickly. We didn't speak to each other for fifteen minutes. Just sat quietly next to one another, waiting. When the food came out, I was almost relieved.
"Oh it looks so delicious! Thank you, Chef."
"You are most welcome, Lady Thea." I smiled softly as he placed a plate of food in front of me. The smell of it made my mouth water. I waited until Loki had been served and the flock of employees had left. Then I grasped my fork in my fingers and dug in. We ate silently, though this time it was less of an awkward silence and more of a determined one. Once Loki was finished, he pushed his plate forward and knit his hands together on the table in front of him. He tended to wait for me to finish before getting up, which was kind considering I was an extremely slow eater. Going hungry after the Battle of New York had changed me in many ways, but the biggest thing it'd changed was my eating habits. I wasn't so picky about what I ate, and when I ate it, I had to go slow or risk being ill. I knew there were plenty of other families living that exact scenario and that made my heart blue.
"What's the business you have today?" I asked, finally breaking the long silence.
"I don't think you'll want to hear about it." Loki responded, peering at me from the other side of the table.
"Oh." I quietly put another forkful of eggs in my mouth. Why had everything been perfect this morning, and now it felt stiff? It was quiet for another moment before Loki sighed and placed his hands on the table. "Are you leaving?"
"No, little one. I'll be back." I watched as he made his way from the room before turning to the door that connected us to the kitchen. Daniel's head poked out. Since coming here, I'd become pretty close with the people who worked inside the tower. Chef Daniel was one of those people.
"Everything okay, The?" He wondered hesitantly. I smiled softly.
"Everything's okay Danny. Sorry. I think he's just in a mood. But it'll be fine. The food's delicious, by the way."
"It better be." He joked, making his way out with another plate. "Here's Leo's." I was about to ask him why he was bringing Leo's plate out already when I heard the heavy footsteps of my husband lumbering back towards me. My gaze landed on Loki, Leo trailing behind sleepily.
"Good morning lovebug." I smiled, standing from my spot.
"G'morning mama." He yawned in response. Danny bowed and excused himself from the room as I pulled out Leo's chair and waited for him to join me. Once he had, Loki began to speak.
"You two enjoy your morning. I'll be home soon." I smiled softly, nodding in response as he turned to leave the room. I watched him walk off, focusing intensely on the little things. The way his narrow hips swayed as he moved, the way he held his head tall, the way he asserted himself in every environment. I continued to watch the now empty space until Leo began talking, pulling me from my daze.
--
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I sang softly, pointing to Leo, who sat on the floor across from me.
"You make me happy, when skies are gray." He continued, trying his hardest to sing the right words. I grinned.
"You'll never know dear, how much I love you,"
"Please don't take, my sunshine away!" Leo laughed as the song came to an end, jumping to his feet and toddling towards me. "I know how much I love you!"
"Oh you do, do you?" I raised an eyebrow, suppressing a laugh.
"Yeah! THIS much!" The child exclaimed, spreading his arms out wide. I pulled him into a tight hug, rocking side to side slowly.
"There aren't arms long enough in this world to show how much I love you." I murmured in his ear, kissing his temple.
"How much do you love papa?" He was quiet, and yet somehow that small voice hit me like a bucket of icy water.
"How much do you love papa?" I asked in return, pulling back.
"This much too!" Leo laughed, spreading his arms once more. I smiled softly.
"Then I do too."