Chapter 3
The thing inside him would not quiet. It was always there, deep within his roots, burrowed into his core. It did not speak, it didn’t need to. The last relic of his home world, Planet X. Once it had sustained all life, and held all the power of his kind. Now it was little more than an unknown nuisance. Without meaning or memory. Groot carried it inside him and knew that it was there but did not know what for or why.
“I am Groot!” He lifted his head from where he stared at his hands, a million thoughts flying through his head.
“What’s up twig?” Kraglin asked, poking his head into Groot’s newly cleaned room. The adolescent Flora colossus finally decided to do it, if only to stop Rocket from pestering him.
“I am Groot?”
“Yeah, of course,” the ravager answered, face looking concerned. Groot rolled his eyes, why was it that grown ups always acted like they were going to hear some devastating news when you asked them if you could ask them something? Karglin gingerly stepped in, his wide eyes scanning the room for signs of the raccoonoid.
“I am Groot.”
“Where’d he go?”
“I am Groot,” he ALWAYS off doing something. Some repair on the ship, some new bomb building, or drinking himself under the table. Groot thought disgruntled. Kraglin bounced his leg beside him, waiting. “I am Groot?” Groot finally asked. The man’s eyes narrowed, he tilted his head.
“Sorry…what?”
“I am Groot?” Groot tried again, already exhausted by the effort. He watched Kraglin trying to comprehend. “I….AM…Grooot,” Groot repeated. Why couldn’t they just hurry up and learn already? He knew all their languages.
“What was it like….growing up with….?”
“I am Groot,” Groot leaned closer. The ravager’s mouth opened but only silence came out before he looked away.
“Yondu, what was it like growing up with Yondu?” Not Groot’s exact question but like always, he’d have to settle. He tried to let go of the hot anger at Kraglin’s incompetence, at always having to accommodate everyone’s inability to grasp even the simplest syntax. He tried, but that unknowable, omnipresent thing in his chest only set his leaves ruffling in more anger.
Another thing he didn’t fully understand. He doubted anyone would except maybe Rocket.
“Yondu was good captin’, tried his best to be at least…” the regret seeping off of the ravager was almost too much. Groot grounded his feet into the metal floor, roots wrapping around the mesh. He was no empath like Mantis, could not read emotions or bend them to his will. But he felt them when they were strong enough. He could feel the increased vibrations of Karaglin’s tattered heart. “Got us into lots of trouble, did a lotta things that would’ve seemed wrong by anybody else. Maybe they were.” Groot nodded, he could tell that much from when he and Yondu and Rocket escaped his old ship. “He loved Peter….didn’t show it nearly enough, until…until the end…but he did. After what he said to Rocket, I reckon one of his other big regrets was not…how did he say it…?”
“I am Groot?” Kraglin blinked, nodding.
“Yeah…that he didn’t let that little bit of love into his own heart. He just pushed it away.”
“I am Groot?”
“Naw,” Kraglin waved him away, “it wasn’t all bad. We had some good times too. The old Captain would always let us go off and have our fun after we took a good prize. Rewarded us well, can’t deny that.”
“I am Groot?”
“Yeah,” Kraglin laughed, “Yon…” Groot turned around. Rocket stalked in, wiping his yellow oil stained hands on his jumpsuit, muttering curses to himself. Most of the time Groot pushed Rocket’s buttons and boundaries but this was one he dared not cross. The rest of the team learned long ago the new number one rule: NEVER mention Yondu in front of Rocket.
“Well Groot, I best be going,” Kraglin awkwardly patted his arm. “Nice talkin’ to you twig.” Rocket only nodded in acknowledgement as the ravager left. Groot stewed, glaring at his bunk mate, how come Rocket always walked in when he was the least wanted? Deep down, Groot scolded himself for the thought. It was wrong. Rocket had always been there for him, Groot remembered back on Dravia, when Peter’s plan cost him his arm, how outraged Rocket had been. Then how he’d taught him all about their adventures before….before, well the raccoonoid had simply ignored any of Groot’s questions around that subject.
“We’ll be on Contraxia in a day,” Rocket grumbled, going to sit on his own bed. Groot nodded what more could he say?
“What were you talking with Kraglin about?” Groot straightened and looked at his game that lay on his bed. If he pretended to play it, he wouldn’t have to answer the question.
“I am Groot!”
“Fine,” Rocket replied, oddly quietly. “I’m going to bed, don’t play that damn game, the damn lights on it get in my eyes.” Groot ignored him, picking it up and tapping away. A welcome distraction from everything that had been going through his mind these past few days. He shouldn’t be blaming any of them, he knew that much. They only ever tried to take care of him, tried to protect and communicate with him. But they just reprimanded him for this and that, never leaving him be, always telling him what he could and couldn’t do. He remembered Yondu who probably let Peter do whatever he wanted when he was a teen. Yondu who knew more about the galaxy than anyone else Groot had ever known. If only Yondu were here. Peter would be happier, Rocket would be happier, not to mention Kraglin. Yondu would have let Groot go out there and take on the baddies no matter how hostile, instead of Rocket forbidding him from doing anything but tagging along and occasionally helping one of them out a jam in a fight when they needed it.
Groot stuffed the game under his bed and leaned back against the wall growing his branches out into the wall to secure himself, thinking of what the ship would be like if Yondu were still here. Peter had mentioned him the last time they stopped to refuel, both the ship and themselves at a bar on Ickdo. Groot listened to them talking about something called an Infinity Stone, Xandar, and a dance off before Rocket hastily shut them all up.
“I am Groot?” Groot demanded afterward,
“Nothin! A’right, it doesn’t matter it was before.” Rocket stumbled from the bar.
“I am Groot?” Before WHAT? But the raccooniod never answered him.
The familiar rush of Rocket’s breath huffed in and out, in and out. The first time he’d witnessed one of Rocket’s night terrors he’d been terrified and ran for Gamora to help him. He’d done it over and over again until he’d taught himself what to do. The episodes were so normalized now it was practically a part of this nightly routine. But once, just once, Groot selfishly wished Rocket would just shut up and deal with it himself. He hated himself for thinking that, but with each pitiful cry came another flash of anger. He shut his eyes, trying to ignore the whimpering.
“Please…don’t…” Rocket gasped, “don’t rip me apart again!”
“I am Groot,” Groot tried quietly from where he tried to sleep. He heard Rocket flailing claws scratching against the metal, dry heaving. If this went the way it had for the last several weeks the raccoonoid would eventually wake up and teeter off to find some gun that needed to be fixed. It wasn’t his responsibility, Rocket could get through it he told himself. Besides, whenever he’d try to ask him about it, his friend would always be vague.
“Groot!” Rocket wailed in his sleep, Groot’s heart cracked as he detached himself from the wall and crossed over to his friend. “Groot please…I…” Rocket’s shouts dissolved into panting.
“I am Groot,” Groot whispered, snaking his vines around him and sitting beside him. Giving in as he knew he should. Rocket lay exhausted, finally his eyes opened a sliver though they were rimmed with tears and confused. “Groot….we have to…we have to get out of this ‘dast l…lab…” Rocket choked, eyes focusing in and out. Groot stopped his comforting pats. Lab? What Lab? Groot had never been in a lab in his entire life. Rocket mentioned it awhile ago when Groot was little and he told him all about their friendship. But Groot had been too little to really question any of it. As he reflected, he found he could t recall anything about a lab or a place called Halfworld or even any of the prison breaks Rocket had talked about. He said nothing, but stroked Rocket gently until the raccoon like creature fell back to sleep. He already knew what the answer would be if he asked Rocket about this lab. ‘Nothing, it was before…” Before what? Groot was enraged in longing to know. He looked down at his friend, whom he loved, dearly but maybe it was time to ask someone else. Just then he heard the beep overhead and Peter’s voice announced,
“We’re coming in to Contraxia, be there in one click, hold on to your butts.”