The first time they used Fenris, while they were kind of panicking, it was euphoric. Warmth spread from their chest to every limb, making their fingers and toes tingle. Afterwards, nobody mentioned it, too caught up in what they just did and the fear of how they were going to handle this new ability making it impossible to think of anything else. The second time they used it, while it was brief and they were on their own, every single fear and uncertainty disappeared when they could see the world through one pair of eyes. That warm feeling radiated from their chest again and when they stopped they were breathing heavily but happier than they had been in a long time. And then Trask happened.
The lab twisted their view of their powers and made them reluctant to use them again. The first time they used it after getting home (and they were surprised when they realized they thought of the Underground as "home"), that warm feeling didn't come back. Instead, it felt horrible.
For Andy, it was cold creeping over his skin and settling into his bones, creating an ache that wouldn't go away. He couldn't stop shivering, wondering why he was having a reaction the exact opposite of what usually happened. Something seemed to stab him in the back of the head then, and a headache spiked in intensity in record time but he couldn't wince. He couldn't yell. He couldn't do anything and his muscles refused to move. He was unsure that he was going to be able to stop when he needed to, he was scared that he was going to bring down the forest. When he finally managed to pull his hand away, he hit the ground hard and couldn't get up for a long while after that.
For Lauren, it was a numbness that ran through her veins and rendered her into a shaking mess. She couldn't feel her arms or her legs, and the realization that she wouldn't be able to move away from her brother and stop their destruction made her panic. Heat was blooming in her stomach, but not the warmth that they had had whenever they used the power before. Instead, it seemed to burn her and she swallowed back a scream. She felt her brother yank his hand away from hers clumsily and both of them collapsed and hit the dirt next to each other, unable to move, speak, hell, they couldn't even breathe correctly.
The few days after that they were sick. Fevers and everything. Everybody else thought they caught the same bug from being around each other so much plus all the things they went through (and then most avoided the siblings because illness spread like wildfire in the underground). The point is that nobody understood the real reason for the sickness, and for that they were grateful. They didn't need anything else on their plate right now, especially with the Frost sisters back and the still active Hound Program. Reed and Caitlin worried about their kids incessantly when they had their fevers, but they suspected it wasn't just the fact that they were sick that concerned them. They assured their parents time and time again that they were fine, that they just needed rest and whatever and they would be good as new. They were pretty sure that the older Struckers didn't believe them.
They used their powers once more after that, just to test what would happen. The second they felt the cold creeping over their skin or the numbness washing over their body, they pulled apart before things got too serious. They were lucky though, because since they were only using Fenris for a short amount of time their symptoms weren't bad and they managed to hide it for the rest of the day until they could collapse onto their cots and sleep it off.
After, they made an agreement not to use their powers. Every time they clasped hands, behind the other pain radiating throughout their bodies, they could feel the crushing weight of the guilt they shared for Sonya's death and John's grief press down on them just a little harder. If they continued to do what they had been, they would both break, and nobody could afford that at the moment. They kept quiet for maybe far too long, making excuses when anybody tentatively asked them if they wanted to practice their power. It was easier because there were two of them and one of them could always feign work to do. They constantly alternated between who was too busy to practice and who was eager to work on Fenris. Between the two of them, they could keep suspicion off them until eventually Marcos, Lorna, John, Clarice, and their parents forgot what they could do.
Speaking of what they could do, neither Andy or Lauren had any problems using their individual powers, which was lucky because their parents were finally letting them go on more missions and helping out at the underground. It felt good to be useful. Unfortunately, those missions caused what happened next.
They were helping Marcos and John get information on the leader of Trask labs Roderick Campbell. It was easy enough, until they took a bit too much of a risk and tripped the alarms. With John swearing in the background and Marcos frantically trying to grab everything they had discovered (depressingly, it wasn't much), they could hear the robots scuttling toward them and not far behind the scientists and agents flooding the halls. John had moved on to radioing Clarice and wondering if she could create a portal anywhere near them if they could get out of the damn building. The two siblings exchanged looks. The building was small. It wouldn't be hard to take down and control. The pain it would cause was a small price to pay to keep them alive and get them out of there with the things they had originally come for.
Marcos, who had finished gathering the papers and stuffing them into the backpack he carried immediately knew what they were thinking and he alerted John, who's face was determined, though he hadn't been able to get ahold of anyone in the underground. He understood as well, and, with a quick glance at the doors, leaned over toward them. "Do you think you can do it?" Lauren and Andy barely glanced at each other before nodding defiantly, willing to do whatever it took to defend themselves and the other two. Facing the door, they readied themselves and then reached out to touch, not sparing a look at the others faces. If they made eye contact, saw the desperation and fear the other was feeling, they were afraid they would back out.
The second they felt their fingers touch and wrap around each other, the building changed and instead of the sturdy walls they had seen earlier, all they saw were the parts that could be most easily dismantled. As their hair started whipping around their faces, agents and robots spilled in and Marcos and John leapt into action defending them. The pain was back now and both siblings nearly screamed as they were assaulted by it. Somehow, they managed to hold back, their vision spotted with lights dancing in front of them. It took all of their concentration not to lose sight of what they were trying to do. They had never really gone this far with their powers after the whole Trask Industries thing and it was almost to much to take.
They finally let lose on the building and rubble crashed around them as bricks easily barricaded the door and blocked the agents from getting to them. The Struckers couldn't disconnect now if they wanted to. They were screaming now, and their knees went weak. Somehow, they were pulled apart and outside on shaky legs. They were still standing but they didn't remember how they got there. A portal was there now in front of them and without thinking they jumped through it, unable to land on their feet. Marcos and John came in behind them but neither saw. They also didn't see the way people crowded around them, and they didn't hear the panicked shouts being yelled across the room or at the two. They were out cold.
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When Andy woke up first, he was to hot and something was on his chest. He moved to push it off because he couldn't breathe properly but his clumsy hands met only air and he realized for the first time that something might be wrong. He was burning up. A few degrees hotter and he was going to disintegrate, turning into ash and carried away by the wind. Gentle pressure was on his hands now, which he didn't even realize were still up, and pushed them back down onto the sheets. Sheets? So he must have been in bed then, though he didn't remember how he got there. And God, he was so tired. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep, despite the nagging feeling that something was off. Before he could figure out what that feeling was for, he was unconscious again.
The second time he woke up, he was distinguishably more coherent, though he still had no idea what was going on. His dad was next to him, and he started when he realized Andy was awake. "Hey kid. How are you feeling?" the words sounded slightly awkward because his dad had never been one for the whole "let's share feelings and stuff" attitude.
Ignoring the question, Andy asked, "What happened?" His words were a little slurred, which surprised him and he examined the bed in curiosity. So he was sick then? His brain still felt scrambled but he didn't feel quite so hot and the thing that had been on his chest seemed to have disappeared. All in all, while his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton and his brain pounded against his skull, he wasn't as bad as before.
"You had to use Fenris to escape, remember? Andy didn't remember. "We think you exhausted yourselves. You've been out for a few days, and Lauren woke up yesterday. We figured you were unconscious longer because you haven't had your powers as long. Your mom was about to go crazy." From the way Reed looked pale and drawn, Andy wasn't sure that his mom was the only one who was about to go crazy. Then he remembered his sister.
"Lauren! Is she ok?" He struggle to sit up, the same way he did after his concussion except this time he was dizzier and halfway from passing out again. The blood drained from his face. His dad was on his feet immediately, trying to get Andy to lay back down and trying to calm him at the same time.
"She's fine Andy, she's fine! Trust me. You're worse than her right now, which is why you need to lay back down. C'mon." Andy lied back down but he didn't say anymore, partly because he had nothing left to say and partly because he was trying not to puke on his dad's shoes. He almost asked if Marcos and John were alright but he decided against it, feeling that it was better to keep his mouth shut because the nausea was getting worse. He fell back asleep almost immediately.
The next few days were just trying to heal faster so he could get the hell out of the infirmary and go see Lauren, who was long ago transferred back to their shared room, which obviously made him jealous. He was sick of the sickness around him and restless in his own skin. Marcos came to see him once, along with both his parents but he never spoke much. They chalked it up to him still being tired.
When he was finally released and allowed to go recuperate with his sister, who was almost back to full health again, they didn't talk much either. What was there to say? That guilt they had been feeling and pushing back over and over again had broken through their defenses and crushed them. Most days they were just trying not to break down.
They did eventually recover and were successful at acting like they were fine with everything, which was good. They didn't have to keep up the façade when they were only with each other though, which meant that they worked alone a lot. Nobody seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, most assuming that they had gotten closer due to the whole Fenris force nearly killing them thing. That was good too.
The next time they got to go on a mission, they were nearly jumping out of their skin with eagerness. Being afraid of having to use the force again was overshadowed by the need to get out, to do something. The mission was simple too (and they easily ignored the fact that the last mission they were on was supposed to be simple as well). The objective was to pick up a family with three kids. The parents were both mutants but the kids hadn't shown any powers yet, which was unfortunate because if something happened, they would have no backup and be tasked with taking care of three young kids. Of course, something happened.
It was already a battle ground when they arrived at the scene, a small run down diner that barely (and luckily) had any customers in it. The female was fighting the agents while the male was protecting the kids, but she was hopelessly outnumbered and they were just playing with her. Lorna tried to take the weapons they were holding but something was wrong. They weren't metal. Marcos tried to use his power too, but he was hesitant, afraid of hurting somebody he didn't mean to. John barreled at them and began to fight with the female, but they couldn't hold the agents off forever. Lauren looked at Andy.
"We could blow them away." she said quietly. Andy snapped his head in her direction, shocked and with terrified eyes, which she hated seeing on him, especially when she caused it.
"Are you crazy Lauren?! You know what happened last time! We promised ourselves..." he cut himself off when he heard one of the kids scream and something twisted in his gut. "Ok. Ok, come on Lauren. Let's do it."
She heard the fear in his voice, heard it in hers as well when she told him, "it won't happen again." They grabbed hands. Andy prepared himself for the coldness he was sure was about to come over him, but instead he felt the warmth in his chest again. He turned to look at Lauren, who shot him a grin even though her eyes were filled with tears. The warmth spread through their veins and made them stronger, making their fingers and toes tingle. Both gasped as their hair began to float and something like electricity shot through them, though it caused no pain. Instead it seemed to give them the energy they needed to fling the agents away from their friends, away from their family. The grief they had been feeling for so long disappeared and though they knew it was still going to be there, it was less now.
Andy returned his sisters grin. They were going to be ok. They had each other. And they had Fenris.