I Got You Under My Skin
The night is chilly when they leave the restaurant, and Jessica tells them that if they are looking for a good place to stay, ‘The Eye of the Sea’ is barely a few meters from them, she tells Bucky something else that Jane doesn’t quite catch since she is already a few steps closer to the exit. Jane doesn’t even complain about the bags being too heavy when they get them out of the trunk, Bucky doesn’t offer to carry hers anyways. The idea of finally resting in a bed sends a rush of excitement that ironically enough scares the sleepiness she was feeling away, though she knew not for long. Jane is about to ask Bucky if he could help her with the bags when sees them again, the men in black that almost stopped them from entering the colony that afternoon, they seem to be lurking in the shadows casted by the buildings on the broadwalk. And Jane can’t help but feel like they are watching her.
“I’m dying for a shower” Bucky says, he turns realising she isn’t next to him, “Jane?”
She blinks several times before realising she had stopped walking. Bucky glances around and frowns, taking a few steps towards her.
“Sorry, I thought…” She glances at the dark corner behind them and sees nothing, she swallows feeling the paranoia settling in.
Bucky grabs her chin and makes her look at him, “I saw them too” he tells her, “Jessica said that if they see you acting suspicious they will take you”
“Where?” Jane asks in a whisper.
“I rather not find out“ He says quietly.
She swallows, Bucky sees her scan his face before she nods, “Yeah, okay”
“Let’s go”
Jane sees the lighthouse above the building they start walking towards to – the hotel – and wonders if it actually works, before Bucky gestures her to get in. A woman, olive skin and dark hair, smiles when she sees them entering, and Bucky walks towards her with a polite smile on his face. Jane stands on the doorway as Bucky exchange pleasantries with the woman in the counter, she tells him to call her Claire and he introduces himself as Jack, the name on his ID Card – Jane and Jack, they don’t sound like fake names at all, Jane thinks amused – The man explains briefly that they are traveling and need a room to spend the night.
“Let me see what I can do for you, handsome” Claire winks at him, and Jane notices Bucky leans against the counter.
She feels like rolling her eyes at the interaction, and the fact that Bucky falls into a laid-back, almost charming version of himself so easily with strangers – The receptionist back in Haze, Elektra, Esther (kind of), also Jessica… Ok, maybe he just likes women – Maybe he isn’t as bad with people as he seemed to her. The first time they met plays on her head, he had just won a fight and she was his prize, but he didn’t seem happy with either. She then wonders, as he hears Bucky ask Claire if there is a bar nearby, what version of him would she had met if they had met under different circumstances.
“A Ranger, huh?” Claire says, “That must be… Exciting”
Bucky shrugs nonchalantly, “It has it’s perks”
Claire smile widens and Jane does rolls her eyes this time. She sees the woman typing in her computer and it had been a while since Jane saw one, so she walks towards them to look at it up close, leaning against the counter next to Bucky. Claire throws a glance at her and Jane leans back. Bucky cocks an eyebrow and Claire gives her a questioning glance, and for a moment all eyes are on her, so she leans back before they both resume the conversation she hadn’t realise they were having.
"We have the honeymoon suite available" Claire says.
Bucky clears his throat, "We-"
"We are not like that" Jane cuts him off, “Claire”
A smile splits Claire’s burgundy-tinted lips, "Good to know" and she winks at Bucky, again, "But what I meant to say was, it's the only room available right now"
"Are you sure?" Bucky asks.
Don’t sound so disappointed there, Jack. Jane bites the inside of her cheek.
"We are booked" she answers with a pout, "with winter coming the market is full of merchants, they have a lot of money to spend and all want a place to sleep"
Bucky clicks his tongue, “Is it big enough?”
Jane looks at him.
Claire nods, “And it has sea view” she then adds, “It’s a bit too expensive, but it’s definitely worth it”
Bucky pretends to look at Jane for approval before he turns back to Claire.
"Give us the room"
Claire smiles back, and Bucky slides his ID card towards her. The way she smirks make Jane’s stomach churn, specially because they both continue to make a conversation as if Jane wasn’t there. Claire tells Bucky about the low tide, and that the beach looks better when it isn’t like that. Jane knows what jealousy is, but she doesn’t feel entitled to be jealous about or for Bucky, or maybe Claire, whatever. She feels tired, and irritated.
“In the morning you will see that your credits are worth it” Claire says, returning Bucky his ID card, “Room 5” she indicates giving him two more blue cards.
“Thanks, Claire” Bucky says, “Where did you say I could get that drink?”
Jane exhales through her nose loudly and takes one of the cards, before she leaves them in their conversation.
There aren’t many rooms in the hotel, which is small but looks very luxurious – judging by the carpeted floors, and shinny chandeliers – and Jane would ask Bucky about the payment but he had already left clear that he had enough for the both of them. Once again, the debt that Jane feels owes Bucky grows in numbers, despite the fact that he seemed to do it gladly. She walks down the hall staring at the paintings hung on the walls, the white doors with ‘Don’t Disturb’ signs – although she could hear people talking and laughing inside a few of the rooms – and gold numbers on each of the doors. A few seconds later she hears heavy steps behind her, and then Bucky calls her name.
“Jane”
“Ours is the last one” She says.
“You okay?”
Jane glances at him, “Yeah, why?”
He shrugs, “You left sort of in a hurry”
“Just tired” She offers him a smile for the worry look on his face to disappear, “This is us”
Bucky looks at her for a few seconds and nods.
The room is quite big, almost the same size as Bucky's in Arcadia. He tries not to think about that as he enters followed by Jane, and then closes the door behind them. The walls are orange, beige and blue all over, a combination that should give him a headache, until he realises it looks like the beach would on an afternoon, there are fake starfish and tortoise shells decorating the walls, and portraits of boats and islands he found familiar despite never being on a boat - not a working, moving one at least. Jane practically pushes pass him, leaving her bag on the floor before she throws herself on the bed, over the maroon duvet and brown pillows.
She sighs happily as she toes off her already unlaced boots and Bucky takes his bag off his shoulder leaving it on the floor, walking towards the bed too. He sits on the bed, bouncing slightly to test the softness of the matters and Jane turns her head towards him, offering a smile. The mattress is big enough for him to feel a distance from her, and his lips quirk upwards when Jane taps the empty side next to her. He reaches for his boots and unlaces them, taking them off before he lays next to her.
"Comfortable" He says after a few seconds, ankles crossed and fingers intertwining over his abdomen.
Jane makes an agreement noise. Unlike him, she is stretched on the bed, but her body covers much less of the mattress than his does. He remembers needing a shower, some sleep and… To be away from her for a while, but now that he knows they will have to share a bed for at least two or three days that would be almost impossible. They had shared a room before, he had slept next to her and close to her, in the same bed too, but he felt like he was on edge this time. Like there was an itch to scratch or… He runs a hand through his face and remembers Claire had mentioned something about a minibar. He desperately needed a drink. And yeah, some kind of… Touch.
“I’m going to shower” Jane announces, sitting on the bed and glancing at him over her shoulder.
Are you coming? He imagines her asking.
He sits on the edge of the bed as Jane stands, when she notices he is reaching for his boots, she pauses and then resumes walking towards her bag. For a second, he thought Jane would ask where was he going but the moment passes and he realises she doesn’t care. He shrugs it off, pulling from the laces tightly. He doesn’t realise Jane is already in the bathroom until he hears the door being locked from the inside. Bucky stands from the bed and walks towards the bathroom door, he leans in and waits until the shower is on so he can leave, almost like he is sneaking out. He isn’t sure why he does it, but he does.
Claire smiles at him when she sees him.
The vacancy sign in the entrance is off, the lobby is empty, and the glass doors are locked. When he first entered he didn’t notice the television hung on the wall, he wants to ask if it works but he isn’t really interested in watching television at the moment.
She tells him that her shift is over and that she happens to have the keys to the bar, Bucky offers her a smile and a nod before he gestures her to guide the way. He isn’t sure if he is relieved or disappointed when she takes him to the now empty bar, and tells him to sit and make himself comfortable. The wooden bar is smooth and cold under his fingers as he slides into one of the stools infront of it, the woman glances at him before grabbing two glasses and a bottle from behind the bar before she sits next to him. She smells like coconuts and lime, and her red lips curve up in a smile when she catches him staring.
“Vodka” Claire says, pouring the clear liquid in both glasses.
The woman takes a seat next to him. Close enough that he can feel the heat coming off her body, she crosses her legs and takes a sip from her drink, before throwing her hair off her shoulder and looking at him. She is beautiful, Bucky thinks, full lips, tan skin and beautiful dark eyes that move up and down his body as he reaches for his glass. He feels relaxed, comfortable around her, and he wonders if Jane noticed it. Jane who always looks at him like she knows more about him that she should, he catches her staring more often than not. Bucky wonders if Jane noticed how he falls into a less cautious persona around women in particular. He likes women, the fact that they are soft, playful, kind, and the fact that he has never been hurt by any.
Not even Natasha, who he did feel abandoned by for weeks after she left.
Claire Temple is two years older than him. She was born in The Cinders but her parents left when Catalean offered a better opportunity of life. They were merchants, and his mother still works in The Exchange Market, while her father passed away eight years ago. The thought of maybe having seeing her at some point in his early life crosses his mind. The Eye of The Sea is hers, and Bucky asks her if she gets a lot of visitors from other colonies, but she tells him most travelers are nomads and Desolation Rangers.
“Like yourself” She winks at him.
For a second, with the alcohol running through his veins and the pleasant buzz in his head, he forgets about the lie him and Jane told. He manages to smile and nod, as he reaches for the bottle to refill his glass.
“You’re quiet”
“I like hearing you talk” He retorts, “and I’m not that interesting”
Claire chuckles, “The life of a Ranger must be a lot more interesting than a hotel receptionist’s”
Bucky cocks his head, “I spend a lot of time in a car” he answers, “in the desert, rummaging through garbage”
She stares.
She knows he is lying.
“Definitely most tiring than a hotel receptionist’s then”
She doesn’t care.
“What about that partner of yours” The woman continues, taking the glass to her lips.
The rim is tainted red like her lips, and she licks them before she looks back at him. Her feet is caressing his ankle softly, deliberately, and Bucky knows she doesn’t care about Jane, but she wants to ask just in case. He drowns his glass.
Bucky leaves the glass on the bar, “What about her”
“She looks almost too fragile for the life she carries” Claire says, “The life of a Desolation Ranger that is”
He chuckles. If she only knew.
“I’ve learned not to underestimate Jane” He feels a smile tug from his lips, “She’s also very low maintenance” he adds, “Surprisingly enough”
Claire chuckles next to him, “How did you meet?”
Coconut and lime fill his nostrils again as Claire leans towards him a bit more.
“We crossed paths at the right time I guess” He frowns slightly at his glass, wondering where would either of them be if it wasn’t for the other, “Luck”
“Luck” Claire repeats, “I would definitely call it that if I crossed paths with you” she huffs out a small laugh, “So you two work together”
He stares at her, “I rather not talk about my work or… Her”
Claire’s face is split by a smile.
“Me neither” Her hand slithers against his, “Would you like taking this to my room?”
Bucky smiles.
Jane turns the shower on despite still having her clothes on. She can see Bucky’s shadow under the door, and she knows he wants to leave already. Once she hears the room’s door open and close, she turns the shower off and leans against the sink rubbing her sore neck. She can’t stand the smell of her sweaty clothes or how heavy they feel, how they look as worn out and dirty as she feels. As she peels her off her body she notices there are two bins under the sink, trash and laundry, and she doesn’t even wonder where her jeans and shirt are going to go. Her feet are already naked on cold tiles and she makes a mental note to throw away her socks too. And maybe also the shoes.
There is a panel next to the bathroom door that controls the lighting, and she lowers it slightly, her eyes feeling sore for the brightness. When she takes a look at the mirror she realises she looks exhausted, and her nose wrinkles involuntarily before she unties her hair and throws the hairband next to the sink.
“What a mess” She whispers, trying to untangle her hair with her fingers.
Julia always reminded her how difficult it was to do it, yet never let her do it herself.
It was too long.
Jane realises as she grabs a fistfull of curls, glaring at the newly discovered knot of curls. She opens and closes the drawers under the sink, finding a small variety kit on the fourth one on the left. There is a nail kit, shower cap, first aid kit, and inside of it a pair of scissors. Her eyes go from the knot to the scissors, to her reflection in the mirror. And before she can think about it thoroughly, she cuts about two inches of hair. She snorts almost amused as the strand of hair falls on the sink. Taking a deep breath she starts making it even. Jane cut Darcy’s hair once, after she accidentally got chewing gum – that they had taken without permission from Julia’s not-so-secret candy drawer – stuck in it. Once she’s happy with the results, and the sink is filled with dark brown hair, Jane looks at herself in the mirror for a few seconds. the curls are now about three inches down her shoulders. Surprisingly enough, her neck no longer feels as sore as it did before.
Jane runs a hand through her hair and resting on her neck. She wonders if Bucky will like it, or if he will even notice. Bucky who is now… She finds herself unable to finish the sentence in her mind, although her brain supply her with a very unpleasant image. Bucky stripping off his clothes in somebody else’s room, his hands roaming across soft skin, pink lips kissing another. Jane’s skin feels soft under her fingers, her nipples perking up as she moves her hands across her stomach. She could have given Bucky whatever he needed. She would have. But he didn’t ask and she didn’t know how to tell him.
When she steps under the spray of cold water, Jane remembers that she doesn’t have many clean clothes left.
Jane wakes up trying to push away the heavy weight sitting on her chest.
It isn’t until she realises she’s in the same room she went to sleep in, that she stops trashing on the bed. She stares at the ceiling, trying to calm her breathing down but her hands don’t stop shaking, and she rubs them together trying to shake off the unsettling feeling she got from the nightmare that sent her back to the night Glassmere fell. Jane sits on the bed slowly wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand before she glances at the clock on the nightstand. Almost four hours had passed since she went to sleep, and the dream had scared all sleepiness away. She hugs her knees and takes a few deep breaths.
The lamp on the nightstand iluminates barely half of the room, and when she turns she sees Bucky rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. She doesn’t know a what time he came back, or why did he at all.
“You kicked me” Bucky says voice rough, before laying back on his pillow.
Jane swallows, “I’m sorry” she takes a shaky breath in, “Just… Go back to-“
“Did you have another one?” Bucky asks, resting his weight on his elbows to look at her.
Jane stares at him, “Yeah” her eyes flicker between his furrowed brows and his naked chest before she looks away, “I didn’t notice when you came back”
He moves into a sitting position, “You were snoring already” he says lightheartedly, but when she turns to him with a serious expression he adds, “I went out for a walk”
An explanation she didn’t ask for, but somehow he felt she needed. And maybe she wanted it too. The silence stretches a few more seconds.
“After having a drink at the bar, I went out for a walk” Bucky says after a few seconds, “In case you were worried” he adds quietly.
“I worry” She says.
“I do too” Bucky’s blue eyes bury into hers, “Why can’t you sleep?”
It’s barely above a whisper, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear them even though it’s just them in the room. Jane runs a hand though her face and hair, finally resting her head on her palm, as her other hand plays nervously with the ugly maroon duvet.
“I can’t stop dreaming about that night” Her voice shakes, “I just close my eyes and I’m back at the plaza, and my dad is there, and it’s so cold” She tries not to look at him, “The river of blood flows infront of me…”
Jane hasn’t told Bucky what happened. So she does. Her words come out quietly, and Bucky listens and stares. She starts where Julia wakes her up, and ends it with her being dragged into a car. She leaves out the still blurry details and the reasons why what happened happened, just because she still doesn’t know. She still doesn’t know why is she alive. Jane keeps that question to herself too.
“I feel like they are telling me something” Jane adds.
“How do you mean?” His voice is quiet, and very soothing.
Bucky’s muscular body is now closer to hers, and for a second she is distracted by the warmth, until he says her name oh so quietly. She looks at him.
“Like… Yours were” Jane sees him frown and she looks back at her lap, “You used to dream about a boy drowning, and it was Steve… He almost drowned and you-“ She stops herself, afraid she sounds stupid.
Maybe her nightmares are suppose to mean something, maybe she missed something that she needs to know. But unlike Bucky, who didn’t remember Steve or what had happened, she knows and remembers well. Bucky puts his hand on her back, moving it up and down soflty. It’s strange how so little can make her feel so… Safe. As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine. When she looks at him, her eyes are clouded with tears and she is so tired.
“...Can you hold me?”
He nods, despite the concern wrinkle between his brow deepening. And Jane sniffs, offering him a small, thankful smile. He is so warm, Jane thinks as she lays her head on his chest. She suddenly becomes aware of how cold her side of the bed was, how big and empty the bed would feel without Bucky.
“I’m here, Jane”
It’s the last thing she hears before she drifts into a deep sleep.