Chapter 1
You see, Tony could blame all the mess that happened between the break up of the avengers on the dispute of the Sokovia accords, but he knew better.
It was Ultron, and it will always be about Ultron. He could care less about Wanda Maximoff, who’s the real mess in the matrix, but no one else seems to agree with him on that.
He really did have the worst luck with happiness.
This always seemed to happen to him- he’d try to protect the people he loved only to lose every single one of them in the end. It was amusing, really- how he’d spend his efforts protecting them yet they did nothing to protect him.
Tony sometimes wondered if the universe just simply enjoyed screwing him over on multiple occurrences out of sheer amusement. Or maybe this was just his karma coming back to bite him in the ass for all the innocent lives lost because of his blindness and selfishness.
He couldn’t move due to his shut down armor, but It didn’t matter considering he just wanted to rot away there. It hurt to move- hurt to speak. He laid in absolute silence. His damaged arc reactor flickered dimly in the darkness and it’s then that Tony realizes that he’s been down there for a lot longer than he thought- a lot longer than he should be down there.
He was probably going to die.
He wondered for a moment if that was such a bad thing anymore.
The cold winter air nibbles his skin. It whispers through his ears, soft, almost mockingly. He stares blankly at the shield that laid against the rough and ice cold cement of the bunker. The long jagged scratches are like symbols- a mark of the betrayal and sadness he felt.
The armor didn’t feel as heavy as the bitterness in his heart.
He shut his eyes, just wanting to melt into the ground and disappear. If only things could be that easy. His body was numb with pain and coldness, and he felt blurry, as if he’d pass out sometime soon. And then, over the cloudiness, a voice-
“Mr. Stark!?”
Tony’s eyes shot open then. Because- what the hell was the kid doing here?
”FRI.. FRIDA-Y?” He manages to choke out in a pained question, tone filled with anger as the masked teenager landed next to him from above, looking down at him.
“Sir. Mr. Parker is here. I contacted him after Ms. Potts was unable to respond quick enough. You have; two fractured ribs, internal bleeding, a broken ankle, and severe bruising along with a possible concussion that could ultimately lead to a coma if not treated quickly.”
Stupid AI.
“Holy shit, Mr. Stark-? What the hell happened!?” Peter exclaims, pulling his mask off to reveal large frightened doe brown eyes staring at him in worry.
“Mr. Parker. Mr. Stark is in critical condition and requires medical attention immediately. Ms. Potts is currently five minutes away from your location via helicopter with medics. She will meet you outside. This requires you to get Mr. Stark out of the bunker as soon as possible.” FRIDAY says, impatience evident in her voice.
“I-Oh! Right! Right!” Peter grabs Tony by the shoulders of his arm and pulls. Tony let’s out a pained groan. Peter stops immediately, panic obvious in his eyes.
”Oh god- is there someone else I should call!? I don’t want to hurt you! Someone else that can help us?” The kid rushes out, nervously chewing on his lip.
”No.” Tony croaks out.
“You don’t want me to get anyone!? But Mr. Stark-“
”No- Peter.”
The kid stops then, looking down at his mentor with a certain wariness in his eyes. Tony doesn’t look at him, continuing to stare with blank, glossy eyes at that shield.
”Th-There’s no one to call.”
>>> <<<
Tony spent the next four weeks in the hospital under heavy care.
Four weeks.
It was suppose to be three weeks, but Tony was so busy with the new accords and trying to clear the avenger’s names, that he got worse- having to stay for an extra week.
So when Ross came in on the second week of his hospital jail time with a huge grin on his face, he knew something was up. “The Avengers’ charge has been lifted.”
Pepper, who had not been pleased with the turns of events, sneered in anger from where she sat next to Tony’s bed, annoyance clear as crystal on her face as she flipped through the pages of a book with vigor.
“That’s good.” He says, voice quiet. Even though he’s relieved that the matter was fixed, he can’t help the heavy feeling in his heart that was almost akin to disgust. “And what about the new accords?”
”Here for that too! It’s been approved by the UN! Now all we need is the avengers to sign. I’ve already been in contact with them and they’re willing to negotiate the new accords.”
That eased Tony’s stress a bit. He glanced over at Pepper to see her glaring out the hospital window, jaw clenched and scowl present.
“We’ll be able to invite the avengers back once you’re back in shape, Tony. I’m sure a lot of them have equipment that needs some serious repairs from you.” Ross chuckles. Tony hates the sound of his voice. It’s just so annoying.
Equipment that needs repairs. He thought bitterly. Not like he didn’t have any broken bones that needed to be repaired that night in Siberia. Not like he didn’t have a broken heart- shattered- that needed repairs, right?
But then again, Tony Stark wasn’t suppose to have a heart.
So he blanked his face to a look of disinterest, smoothed his wince out to an expression of boredom. “Got it.”
Then Ross left.
He had barely even opened his mouth before Pepper cut him off.
”No.”
”And I didn’t even say anything yet! I’m hurt.” Tony pouts.
”Exactly- You’re hurt.” Pepper stares at him with a hard expression.
”My bones will heal.”
“That’s not the type of hurt I was talking about, Tony.”
Tony stared down at his fingers. “Listen-“
“No, you listen!” Pepper snapped shutting her book loudly before slamming it down on the little table next to her as she stood. “I am sick and tired of seeing people like that,” she spits the word out with disgust, “taking advantage of you! Every single damn time! And I’m even more angry at you for letting it happen!”
Tony rubs his eyes. “What do you want me to do? Like the Cap said- they’re family-“ he began sarcastically, only to be caught off once more.
”Those monsters are not family.” She’s snarled. “Family doesn’t try to kill you Tony. Family doesn’t betray you the way they did. Family doesn’t pick on one person as a scapegoat for their hatred. And the minute Captain America is back, I know you’re going to forgive-“
”No.” Tony’s voice is firm, eyes harding as a flare of anger blazed through them. “I’m not going to- no way in hell.”
Pepper rolls her eyes. “And the scarlet witch? What about her? Or Natasha? Clint? Bucky?”
Tony flinched at the last name. “People don’t care about Tony Stark, Pepper. And right now, Iron Man is more important than Tony Stark. And with Iron Man comes the Avengers. We. Have. No. Choice.”
Pepper covers her face with her hands, letting out a shaky breath. “This isn’t right, Tony.” Her voice murmurs. “They.. They can’t just come in and freeload off you and expect you to bust your ass for them. You can’t keep letting them tear you down with their words- letting them literally stab you in the back.“
Tony breaths out a sigh. “And they won’t. I won’t let them. Not anymore.”
He he pulls out one of the files on the side table giving her a soft, yet tired smile. She frowns at him.
It’s then that they hear a loud clatter and snap their eyes towards the door.
Peter is standing next to a knocked over trash bin, a sheepish, yet horrified, look on his face for being caught.
Tony raises an eyebrow.
”Uh... H-Hey, Mr. Stark!” He stumbles over the trash can looking down at it apologetically. “I promise I’ll pick it up before I leave!” He states.
His eyes widened then, and with a panic filled voice, he tries to explain himself. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I swear! I was only here for like, a minute. Maybe five. Okay- I was totally eavesdropping. But I didn’t hear anything! Alright that’s another lie- I totally heard it all. But if you don’t want me to hear it, then I definitely did not hear anything.” He rambles.
Pepper sighs, grabbing her clipboard and turning to leave. Tony grabs her hand before she can and she looks back at him. With an expressionless face, he hands her the file. She glanced down at it before back at him, eyes wary.
After a moment of Tony giving her that look, she nods and takes it, leaving after saying her goodbyes to Peter. Once again, she isn’t pleased.
“Thanks Honey! I love you!” Tony cooed after her.
The thunderously loud slam of the door is the reply he gets.
He chuckled. “FRIDAY?”
”Sir.” The AI replies instantly.
”Remind me to buy some Louboutin stilettos for Ms. Potts later.”
”Noted, sir.”
Tony then turns to Peter who’s replaced Pepper’s seat next to the bed. He’s fiddling with his fingers anxiously.
“How’d you get in here, kid?” He asks and Peter blinked. “Ah- I climbed through an open window from the roof.”
Tony isn’t surprised, only amused. “Alright, next question- why are you here?”
Peter looks at him then, an unreadable look in his eyes. “I was worried about you.”
Tony blinked.
“I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I know I shouldn’t have come like this, but Happy wasn’t answering my calls and... and back in Siberia they just rushed you to the hospital and kicked me out. I didn’t know what happened to you or if you were okay and I’ve been meaning to come earlier but-“ He just keeps rambling and Tony stops him.
”It’s alright kid. Take a deep breath, you’re speaking too much too fast.”
Peter follows his instructions sucking in a gulp of air before releasing it with a relaxed sigh.
“How was school?” Tony asks and Peter seems surprised with the question. “Oh- good! Our decathlon team snatched another win a couple days ago which was pretty great. Oh and I aced my mid term in Physics...” Peter trailed off when he noticed Tony’s grim expression, the older man’s eyes focused on a folder labeled AVENGERS.
Peter swallowed. “I was surprised. I mean, an A on an AP Physics exam? Who would’ve known!” He continues to ramble, because it seems like the noise is the only thing keeping Tony somewhat relaxed- even if he wasn't listening, even if his mind was somewhere else.
Peter owed him that much at the very least, after all.
Tony listens to the kid, but the words enter one ear and exit the other. His gaze hardens.
No. The avengers may be back to fighting together for humanity, but Tony was done fighting humanity for them.
And he’d go to hell and back in a heartbeat, but he would never forgive Steve Rogers.
>>> <<<
Tony threw the bottle at the wall angrily with his good arm, chest heaving and face red.
The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine.
Those words played over in his head like a broken record, repeating and unmoving. It was branded in his mind.
Really Steve? Really? The avengers were his? That’s the biggest joke of them all if Steve Rogers genuinely believed that. What avengers? A vengeful King that was out for blood of his father’s supposed murderer, A side-switching and conflicted Natasha Romanoff, A patriotic Rhodey, who has been his friend since he was a teen, Vision (There really wasn’t anything bad that Tony can say about Vision solely based on the fact that he is vision), and a fourteen-year-old spidey kid.
Sorry- fifteen-year-old.
None of them really did care, and Tony isn’t really surprised.
“Tony?”
Tony looked up, gasping for breath as fresh tears ran down his face. Rhodey’s face was calm, but he could see the sheen worry behind those concerned brown eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”
”Panic attack detected.” FRIDAY’s voice cuts in.
“No shit, Fri.” Tony gasps, wincing as he tried to breathe.
He calms down after hearing Rhodey’s soft voice in his ear.
“Steve’s a little bitch,” Tony sniffles and Rhodes hugs him tighter. “Yes he is.”
Over Rhodey’s shoulder he sees Peter’s hands slowly drop the letter from his hands, expression of disbelief.
Damn it- the kid saw.
”Get him out of here.” Tony murmurs. “He doesn’t need to see me like this.”
”He’s the one that brought me here, Tones.” Rhodey’s voice is clipped. “And he does care about you.”
No one does. Tony thought bitterly. No one except for you and Pepper.
Peter slips out of the room.
>>> <<<
There was a special place in Tony’s heart for a very few, very selective amount of people in his life. The first had to be Rhodey, who stuck with him through thick and thin and would always help him open his eyes to the things he’d be blind about. Tony would definitely take a bullet for the man. The second had to be Pepper. The strong ailed woman who spoke with fire and always knew just how to keep Tony in check and save him from disaster. Sometimes Happy too, but the guy was such a stick in the mud at times and it was a lot more interesting to make fun of the bodyguard instead. Yet, with all these people, it seemed like they always ended up getting badly hurt because of something he did.
You see, Tony’s mistake was thinking that he could add Peter to that list without getting him hurt. It didn’t hit him until the ferryboat incident took place, when Peter had snapped at him.
“No thanks to me?” Peter stood, hand gripping his mask with a squeezing tight hold. He strides towards Tony, each step vigorous and filled with irritation. His brown eyes burned with a fiery anger, completely ablaze as he approached Tony.
“Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me!” He exclaims in anger. Tony doesn’t reply.
Peter scoffs in bitterness. “If you even cared, you'd actually be here.”
Prickled with irritation, Tony let’s the suit dismantle around him and he stepped out in front of Peter. The kid’s eyes widen in surprise as he stumbled a few steps back, as if he truly believed Tony wasn’t here. Tony has to limp due to his still healing ankle since he didn’t have his crutches on him. Luckily the suit is able to support his bad leg so when the world needed him, he’d be able to still save it- but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.
“I did listen, kid.” Tony began, voice calm but getting more heated with each word. “Who do you think called the FBI, huh?” He keeps stepping forward while Peter steps back hesitantly. “Do you know I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid.” He says, voice oozing with venom.
”I’m fifteen.” Peter cuts in, eyes challenging and Tony loses it. “No- this is where you zip it! Alright!? The adult is talking!” He snarled. Peter purses his lips shut upon witnessing how truly angry Tony was. “What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on you.” Peter looked down, but he needs to hear it. “And if you died, I feel like that's on me.” Tony swallowed, trying not to wince at the thought. As if he didn’t already have enough blood on his hands. Peter getting hurt would ultimately break him for sure. “I don’t need that on my conscious.”
“Yes sir-“ Peter began. “Yes-“ He emphasizes. “I'm sorry.” He murmured, eyes filled with sorrow. “Sorry doesn’t cut it.” Tony whispers, trying to make Peter understand the risk he had put others and himself in. “I understand... I just- I just wanted to be like you.”
Be like him. Tony has to stop himself from sneering, because no. Peter shouldn’t try to be like him. He’s fucked up badly in the head, and Peter is too innocent to understand- too young. It’s then that he realizes, that maybe- maybe he’s made a mistake.
“And I wanted you to be better.”
Peter is unable to reply, looking down with a grim expression at the sound of his mentor’s disappointed voice. Tony glanced at the boy in front of him a final time before he decides.
“Okay- it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back.” Tony states with a hard voice. Peter stares at him. “For how long?”
Tony looks him right in the eyes so that the kid understands him clearly. “Forever.”
It’s like an an arrow was shot right through his heart and Peters eyes widened. “No,” he whispers voice filled with disbelief and Tony clenches his jaw at the realization that this was going to be a lot harder than he originally believed.
“No, no, no!” Peter’s voice shakes and his lips tremble. “Please, please!” The desperation in his voice is breaking Tony, the way his doe brown eyes started to fill with unshed tears, glazing over. “You don't understand! This is all I have! I'm nothing without this suit!”
Tony’s nostrils flare and he stares Peter down with the most disappointed look yet.
This was not the kid from Queens who wanted to help the little guys- not anymore. And that realization saddened Tony more than anything.
“If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”
When Peter left, Tony had clenched the suit in his hands, pressing the fisted cloth against his forehead while his face screwed up in pain, eyes shut.
Because the broken look on Peter Parker’s face hurt more than that shield smashing into his.
>>> <<<
So the kid is an idiot.
That much Tony understands. Because the little shit goes after bird-man even after Tony tells him not to and gets hurt. But somehow he manages to win and save all of the equipment and Tony will be damned to hell before he lets the boy out without his suit now.
Peter would fight- with or without that suit.
And that wasn’t up to Tony. So he swallowed his guilt and gave him the suit. Because he’s more safe under Tony than he is in that ugly goggly eyed cotton suit.
When he wobbled out of the car towards the compound, he instantly could feel something was off. “FRIDAY?”
”Sir..” the AI began, voice hesitant. Tony felt ice cold all of a sudden. “They’re here, aren’t they?”
”Yes. And Peter is in the workshop.”
Tony swallowed, clenching his jaw before wobbling his way into the elevator on his crutches, meeting a pissed off Pepper in it.
”What are they doing?” He asks as the loft clambered up the levels. Pepper scoffs. “Talking about just how much they love you.”
”Wonderful!” Tony smiles sarcastically. “Barnes?”
”Quiet.”
”I don’t even want to look at him.” Tony grumbles out.
The doors to the elevator open.
The first person he sees is Natasha but he dutifully ignores her when she turns to him.
”FRIDAY, start the coffee machine please.” Tony states calmly, going towards the kitchen.
Everyone watches him hop over and grab his mug, setting the crutches down to the side.
”Really, Stark?” Sam snapped. “A month after seeing us and all you’re going to do is ignore us?”
Tony turns to him, eyes unimpressed. “What can I help you with?”
”How about help us to an apology? For locking us all up? For trying to contain Wanda? For attacking Steve and Bucky at the raft instead of helping like you said you would?” Sam hisses.
Tony doesn’t miss the way Steve stiffens, he just chooses to ignore it. “I’m sorry for locking all of you up and containing Wanda.”
Sam seems surprised that Tony had apologized so easily, but Tony honestly just didn’t give a fuck anymore.
“Don’t forget about attacking and backstabbing Steve and Bucky.” Clint hissed.
Tony clenched his jaw, fingers curling up around his mug tightly and Steve looked umbareably uncomfortable. Him backstabbing Steve? Really? Looks like someone didn’t tell the others about what really went down in that raft. Honestly, Tony isn’t surprised anymore.
“Clint, drop it-“
”It was his fault.”
”It was both our faults.” Steve says hesitantly.
“You two weren’t the ones who lied about helping and then attacked. It was all him.”
Tony smiled sarcastically, and bitterly. “I am so sorry Rogers. I was one hundred percent at fault for what happened in the raft.” The oozing sarcasm in Tony’s voice didn’t go unnoticed.
”You think this is funny?” Clint snips.
“No? It probably shouldn’t be? But I’m kinda past the part of caring quite frankly.” Tony mocks a pout at Clint.
”That’s it-“
Clint has Tony grabbed by the throat. “You’re the reason Laura is avoiding me.” He hissed, eyes wild.
”Clint!” Natasha’s eyes widened as she took a step towards the pair.
Tony gasps for a breath. “Might want to look in the mirror, Barton. You’ll find the real reason there.” He chokes out.
”You piece of-“
Something suddenly latches onto his wrist yanking the hand off of Tony’s neck.
Everyone looks over to see Peter standing there eyes narrowed at Clint visciously. “Get your hands off of him.”
Clint blinked in confusion while Steve stares down at the kid next to him in surprise. His eyes follow the webbing and realization hits him like a fuel truck.
”Oh my god, Stark. You recruited a fourteen year old kid!?” He growls in disgust.
“I’m fifteen Captain jerk off.” Peter snaps.
Steve takes a step back, offended.
“Spider-Man is actually a Spider boy!? Are you seriously Stark?” Clint gaped at the mechanic.
”Peter, leave.” Tony snaps. Peter shook his head furiously. Clint uses his pocket knife to cut through the webbing, causing Peter to stumble back.
”You just love ruining people’s lives don’t you, Stark?” Clint scoffs.
”I didn’t ruin your life, Barton- you did.”
Once again Clint has his hand wrapped around Tony’s throat, pushing him up against the counter roughly. “Shut the fuck up!”
Tony tried chuckling through the tight grip, face red.
”Tony!” Pepper calls out fearfully. Peter once again is about to stop him before Steve grabs him, holding the struggling boy against his chest. “Don’t- you’ll make Clint even more angry.”
”Someone has to do something- since you won’t do anything.” Peter hisses.
Steve is stunned at the blatant hatred Peter has for him.
“You just can’t accept the fact that this is your fault,” Tony grunts. “That you put Captain America over your family.”
”Stark shut up.” Clint tightens his grip and Tony blinks blearily. “I’m not the one who told you to join this Clint. I’m not the one who told you to leave behind your family and go against the law. I bet you didn’t even ask why, did you? You probably just jumped up the minute Cap asked for help, didn’t you? The truth is Clint, that I’m not why you’re here so you better damn well stop blaming it on me because you’re too much of a coward to blame yourself.”
”The world would’ve been better off with you dead in that wormhole Stark!” Clint growls, and Tony feels like he’s about to pass outback until he hears a crack of thunder.
And all of a sudden, Clint’s grip is off of his throat and Tony fell to the floor, pressed against the wall of the counter as he coughed for a breath, hand against his raw throat. Pepper is next to him on her knees, her eyes wide with worry. Peter is frozen in Cap’s arms, staring with amazement in front of Tony. Tony looks up, blinking.
The red cap lays flat against his back, Mjölnir tight in his grasp. He held Clint by the back of his shirt, blue eyes furious. What shocked Tony was how short his hair had become.
“What,” Thor began, voice deep and angry. “Are you all doing?”
Banner waved from behind him. “Hey guys.”