My lover
So… it began quite alright, both parties entered the talk calm and collected or as much calm and collected as they could be and for a moment Tony considered two options - staying and protecting his things in the case the situation would start to head south, or subtly retreating from the room. After all, he believed his AI would warn him in advance. However as he started to lift himself from the chair, he saw Loki gaze back at him, pinning him back to the spot with his eyes in such a way that Tony feared even to take a proper breath.
Sure, staying it is then.
He let his ass fall back on the chair, leaning for a mug with cold coffee from his table, taking it to his lips. Thor was now standing and frowning upon his brother and Tony tried to remember what was the reason.
Oh, yes. Loki just told him Odin wasn´t his father and they weren´t a family and that he would be pissed off if Thor would call him brother one more time. Nice.
“I am deeply sorry that you see it this way, Loki. I know that I made mistakes…”
Loki groaned with utter frustration, interrupting whatever Thor was trying to say.
“Why did you want to talk, Thor? You can go and report me straight away if you think that I am going to pretend anything can return to how things were before.”
The god of thunder shook his head.
“I know they can´t. I´m merely trying to understand.”
“So ask valid questions and I will give you answers.”
Tony continued to suck his coffee silently.
“I want to know why you are here. Why Earth? What are your plans? And what does Amora want with you?”
Loki sighed before he let his hands fold behind his back.
“Very well, I will only repeat what I have told Anthony here months ago. I chose Earth because you are here, because of the Avengers, I need a protection until I can find out how to get rid of Mad Titan in my head. Amora can be a way how to do that.”
Tony watched Thor tense with the words. He knew that big guy didn´t like a thought about Loki being under anyone´s influence, more so if he suffered long-term consequences. It was indeed a great time seeing how Loki gave him small bones, but left important things in the dark.
“How can I know you don´t ill-think about Earth anymore? That you won´t try to do what you are saying but rather try to gain more?”
Loki smiled. “I see you finally started to know me a bit.”
“Aye.”
Thor wasn´t so naïve and blind as Loki knew him, not anymore.
“I see no reason to take over this place even if I had a chance. I do not want to attract any attention to my person in these circumstances. And after all…” Loki let his eyes wander towards the engineer sitting with his legs under his chin sipping his drink. “I have a lover on this planet. I do not wish for him to feel uncomfortable.”
Tony chocked on his coffee, spilling half of it over himself, followed by a violent cough watering his eyes.
“Are you fucking serious?” he tried to clear his voice, throwing the cup back on the table. He eyed Loki angrily, but the god looked like he was on the top of the world and nothing could tear him down. Maybe nothing except of the one of Tony´s gauntlets. Where was it anyway?
“Is it the truth?” Thor was now looking his way expecting him to maybe deny it. Tony couldn´t really read him now.
“It´s like he said,” he admitted, wanting nothing more than punch away that cocky smile on Loki´s lips and then have that mouth somewhere else. “It wasn´t planned… And before you ask and make him throw you out of the window – believe I have my experience – I am not influenced by any way. I chose him willingly.” Tony cursed inwardly when he realized he just said too much and he couldn´t even help the gentle tone overrunning the anger in his voice.
He liked the bastard. That was a fact. Even when he´d crashed his story like this. And Loki surprisingly reacted with something warm spreading in his eyes – a very addictive sight for Tony. Very clearly their eyes were locked too long because when Tony turned his attention back to the Thunderer, he looked slightly amazed and disbelieving. He looked at Tony with renewed hope like he expected him to be an answer for every problem in the universe.
“If that is so, I am happy for you, Loki. And I trust you, friend Tony, that you will keep my brother safe from trouble while I´m gone.”
“Me?” Tony´s voice went an octave higher than usual. “I don´t know when you checked the last time, but I´m as irresponsible as him on my good days and trouble is my middle name.” Yeah, we fit perfectly. “But of course, it´s not like I´m encouraging you to take him away to Asgard. No,” Tony just realized his mistake, “I can definitely keep an eye on him. Sure.” He formed his all teeth stunning smile and Loki just shook his head in despair.
“However, I want to aid you when I return, Loki,” Thor added, “Amora is our common enemy.” He looked also on Tony.
“You won´t tell others, would you?”
“No. I don´t think they would want my brother to stay here and I believe in you. I know you will keep them safe.”
Tony was seriously stunned for a moment. He couldn´t remember the last time when someone praised him like this, even when unintentionally. Thor then said his goodbye, Loki nodding to him with poker face, but at the end at least all of them survived and didn´t even properly yell at each other. He took it on himself that Thor approached Loki without grudge only because he could see a different perspective to all of previous incidents just as Tony did.
“Now, now… let´s see who is under my jurisdiction…” he turned on the trickster god the first second Thor was out of the doors, “it looks like I can do what I want to you and even have your brother´s blessing.” The big shit-eating grin spread on his face and some very dirty pictures ran through his sick brain.
“You are extraordinarily cheerful for someone who just got caught on a lie.” Loki seemed amused and maybe a little bit anxious.
“Not a lie, a little omission of the truth. I believe, you know the difference. You think I have a problem to meet your family? While it´s true I hardly ever get to this step in relationships, I can not say I´m concerned now.” He was walking on the thin ice with all the family bullshit, but Tony had a feeling that Loki would keep ignoring it just for a little while. He looked honestly interested in the reason why Tony wasn´t angry.
“Relationships, you say?” Loki lifted his eyebrow with an innocent smile. Yes, that was the perfect word to pick up from the whole sentence. “Are you interested in those?”
“Are you?”
Loki gave him a long look, too long for Tony to not catch what that was about.
“Just forget it. It´s okay. I´m good with this. It´s not like I´m good with commitments either.” He spun on his chair faster than physics should have allowed. “I will work now, you can go eat something or wait for me in bed if you still have no other plans.”
“Anthony,” Loki said with something like regret in his voice and Tony froze with his hand on the hologram waiting for the rest.
“I´ll wait for you in your room.”
Tony nodded absently, finishing the gesture with a frown. “Okay.”
It didn´t take long until he found he couldn´t really focus on anything he saw or did and stopped altogether. He found it disturbing that he really didn´t care if Thor knew or not. He´d thought he would be more uncomfortable or afraid that team will find out. He wasn´t. He could go and tell them now, but he wouldn´t because it was dangerous.
Jesus, he was so getting wrapped into this. Even more now when the team felt a bit distant and Loki just kept on being this amazing, witty, charming creature appearing in his workshop, asking him about stuff he´s working on, laughing and eating with him and then making him scream behind the closed doors. Fuck, was he really falling for the guy?
Because that was a whole different level of crazy… He knew, he just knew that Loki could not reciprocate, so why he was doing this to himself?
He let out a frustrated groan and stood up, leaving everything how it was. Tony found the god asleep, tangled in his sheets and that made him just stop and stare for a while, drowning in his own self-pity and misery. He could already smell the pillows with Loki´s scent lingering above them. That would cause him hell when the god would eventually disappear.
Tony slipped out of his clothes, staying only in his briefs. The arc reactor illuminated the dark room for a brief moment and then vanished under the covers as well. Loki somehow sensed him being close and turned to face him, still with closed eyes he reached for Tony, but instead of reaching his hip he lightly hit the surface of the reactor. The metal produced a quick noise from the impact followed by Tony´s suppressed gasp.
Loki´s eyes immediately opened sharp and concerned. He gazed at Tony with his lips in a thin line, his hair adorably displayed on the pillow under his head. It was impossible not to smile even through chronic pain squeezing Tony´s chest.
“You´re hurting,” Loki whispered between them, he started to pull his hand back, but Tony caught it with his. It wasn´t the first time and won´t be the last one.
“Just a bit,” he half-lied, bringing god´s hand back on the side of his face, leaning in and breathing into the skin.
“I´m sorry,” Loki apologized with serious face and that was a big thing coming from someone who despised the phrase. Tony didn´t know if the apology was meant for the accidental touch of the sensitive area or for the fact that Loki couldn´t help him. Just like scepter, Loki´s magic too didn´t work where his arc reactor was involved. The thought left Tony with a warm feeling in his stomach.
“Just go back to sleep, I will be alright.”
Loki grabbed his sheets, lifting them up and gesturing for Tony to turn on the other side. He happily obligated, pressing his back to the god´s chest while Loki covered them both up, paying extra attention not to touch the reactor anymore.
“Let me at least give you some nice dreams,” he murmured into Tony´s ear, making him shiver.
“Sure,” he agreed, feeling the ghost of the fingers on his temple and closing his eyes. He let himself enjoy the moment lost in the god´s arms, pretending that it was something more than just a measure to ease his pain. Maybe tonight it was his real heart hurting after all.