Chapter 36
Once Sophie came home from the Liebermanns the little girl had instantly pounced on Karen- it brought tears to her eyes that Sophie hadn’t been angry in the slightest, only concern for her mom in her tiny heart.
Karen still felt the guilt choke her up every so often, it was hard to think she has slackened on her responsibilities and Sophie has suffered because of her pain. But after talking with Frank, Karen knew trying to ignore the hurt she felt inside would only make things worse in the long run.
But that didn’t mean Karen wasn’t going to try and make it up to Sophie, and if that meant spending more special Soph and Kare time then that’s what she would do.
It was just starting to get out of real winter and the snow wasn’t falling very often, but there was still a bit of a chill in the air. So Karen made sure to bring Sophie’s puffer jacket with her when she went to pick the little girl up.
The door opened and one of the caretakers called for Sophie once they saw who it was at the door, “Hey Sophie, your moms here!!”
The body that crashed into her legs almost sent her tumbling backward, but the smile on Sophs face lit up the room.
“Hey little lady, how was school?” Karen made sure to put the puffer on her while listening to the play by play run down of exactly what happened that day. She made sure to nod and gasp at the right moments, while Sophie grabbed her hand and started heading to the door.
“Make sure to say bye, okay?” Sophie modded her head and turned around to wave at all the kids still waiting to be picked up, with a loud ‘See ya’- they were out the door and on their way.
“Sooo I decided to pick you up a bit early today.” The little girls head nodded up at her before looking up at the sky above them.
“Yea I know it’s so much brighter out right now than regular time.”
Karen almost laughed at the simplistic way she told time, looking only at the color of the sky- it would be interesting when daylight savings time rolled around, “That’s true, but I picked you up early cause I was thinking we could do something cool today.”
Sophie’s eyes brightened at the prospect of doing something fun with her Karen. The little girl wouldn’t say it, but it had been a rough few months- first with the incident at the Liebermanns and then later at home in the tub. They were scary times- and Sophie has been afraid for herself and for Karen, so Sophie jumped at the opportunity to do something with Karen that would make both of them smile.
“Really?!?! Well what are we doing? Should we go home first? Do I need to change? Is Frank coming? How bout Duck? Oh my god I’m so excited!!! Oh wait should I-“ it came out in an almost endless stream of excitement and questions, Karen was barely able to keep the smile off her face and laughter spilled out her mouth.
Sophie’s eyebrows crinkled in this adorable angry expression at being laughed at, “Woah slow down, kid. I haven’t even told you what we’re doing. Let me try and answer as many of those questions I heard: were not going home, it’s just me and you. So no Frank or Duck- did I get em all?”
As they walked down the street Soph let out the cutest exasperated sigh, almost as if she were disappointed that Laren could have missed the most important question- “Duh..... Of course you missed the biggest question of them all!”
Karen feigned innocence, then gasped as if the answer had finally come to her- “How could I forget! We’re going- drum roll please.........” Sophie started making drumsticks with her fingers and a terrible sound that was nothing like a drumroll, but kept going anyway.
“Ice skating!!!”
Karen couldn’t help but laugh once again seeing the dropped jaw of the little girl walking beside her.
“We’re going ice skating. We’re going ice skating! WE’RE GOING ICE SKATING!! OH MY GOD-“ Sophie was telling so loudly Karen had to shush her, but the laughter at the little girls excitement was hilarious to see.
“Yea I figured soon it’ll start warming up a bit and we should go ice skating while it’s still cold. Y’know get the full experience.” Sophie nodded along and pulled Karen to walk faster even though Sophie didn’t know the faintest clue to there destination.
When suddenly the little girl came to a stop, “We’re going ice skating. Oh no....”
Almost instantly there was a red ring to the girls eyes as she looked up at Karen, “What’s up? What’s wrong?”
“We can’t go...” Karen wondered why the sudden change of heart and had to ask, “And why is that?”
What came out was whispered so lowly Karen had to strain to hear it, “We can’t go because..... because I don’t know how. So we can’t go.”
She nodded her head at Sophie before getting ready to blow her mind, “Well y’know what? I love ice skating, I’ve been doing it since I can remember. But you know what I love even more that skating?”
“What?”
Karen whispered it to Sophie as if it were some big secret, “Teaching people to skate, I can show you how! It’ll be so much fun, Soph!”
And that’s all it took to convince the little girl they could go to the rink, and after a good forty five minutes or so of falling and getting up to try again- Soph was ready to take a few laps on her own. She insisted Karen not hold her hand after a while because she wanted to know how to do it ‘like a big girl’
It was probably the most fun Karen had had in a long time, and she made sure to take as many pictures of Sophs first skate as she could. She wasn’t sure she was supposed to think this, but the best part was probably watching little Soph fall.
I’m sure some amazing parenting experts would say it was good to watch her fall and show enough perseverance to get back up and try again- but all Karen could think of was how funny her face looked when she fell on her tush and got so so mad. It cracked her up to see her little girl angry at the ice underneath her.
Karen caught a picture of the exact moment Sophie landed on the ice for maybe the twelfth time, and the face she mad was so angry and funny that Karen couldn’t help but make it her phone screen. But once Sophie got the hang of it, there was a feeling in Karen’s chest that was so heavy and full she wanted to scream- pride.
She was so proud of her little girl she wanted to scream it from the rooftops of Hell’s Kitchen, wanted to tell everyone she saw on the street how amazing her daughter was. She wanted to send a mass email to every one in her contacts of all the pictures she had taken, but knew that probably wasn’t the best idea.
So instead she sent all those photos to Frank, filling up her camera roll and sending a constant stream of Sophie’s adventure through the phone to Frank.
After a while of taking pictures Karen went back out onto the rink to skate with Soph, and it was amazing. All they did was laugh and play, and chase each other until they were so tired they had to head out to grab something to eat.
“We can come back, right?” Sophie sat across from Karen eating a grilled cheese in a diner that somewhat reminded her of a particular conversation she’d once had with Frank. Karen ate her pastrami sandwich and couldn’t help but nod her head at the girl sitting across from her.
“Good. I really wanna go again..... Karen- your sandwich smells funny.” And she couldn’t help but laugh at that statement, because a few months ago Karen would have agreed with her. She’d always thought pastrami sandwich’s were to vinegar-y, but here she was scarfing it down like it was the best thing she had ever tasted.
“Yea it does. I’ll make sure to eat a mint after I’m done, okay?”
Sophie gave her a thumbs up as she ate the grilled cheese through the middle leaving crumbs all over her face and Karen loved it.
She loved these moments- times that were so small and seemed like they wouldn’t be that memorable, but stamped themselves into her mind forever. She loved Sophie, she loved showing her new things, and she loved being a parent.
Karen never thought she would want a kid, but then along game Sophie and it was almost love at first sight- a decision she will never regret. So maybe...... maybe things were gonna be alright. Maybe she’d love it just as much the second time around.
All she could do was hope.