Chapter 23
“Ma’am?” The voice felt far off, like it was coming from the other side of a tunnel.
Frank? Is that you?
“Ma’am,” The voice came rushing forward, as if coming towards her down the tunnel, “Ma’am I've administered an epi pen- she should be fine. We’re gonna have to take her the hospital for observation then figure out what she's allergic to.”
Karen finally looked up at the man standing over Sophie, a young paramedic- too young. He couldn't be older than twenty five, how could he know what was wrong with her? After she called, it only took a few minutes until she heard the knocks on the door. Karen ran to the door and flung it open, thinking back now she knew the two paramedics that came in had done everything- but her mind had gone blank at the idea that this could be the moment Sophie stopped breathing. She was breathing hard, practically wheezing- and Karen couldn't do anything, she had no way of fixing it.
“Are you the mother?”
Only one of them was doing the talking, the other was putting Sophie on a gurney- she was sitting up. He was giving her water.
“Uhh.. Yeah- Yes I am.”
“Okay then you're riding with us. Lets go.” The man stood up and walked towards the other paramedic, before turning back towards her. “Make sure to bring your phone, bag, jacket- things like that. You'll be there awhile.” She nodded her head and grabbed her purse, her phone, a change of clothes for both herself and for Soph, her jacket, and made sure she had her wallet with her ID in it. She was ready.
Or at least she thought she was, the whole thing was a blur- getting in the ambulance, riding towards the hospital, arriving. All she could remember the whole trip was holding Sophie's hand and watching her breathe- making sure she was alright. Making sure it went up, then down, then up again-
“It's gonna be okay, Sophie.” The little girl nodded back at her as the paramedics rolled her into the hospital, Karen right at her side. Soph’s pretty blue-green eyes looking up at her- innocent and beautiful, and scared.
“Four year old, female. Allergic reaction- we administered the epi. Mom doesn't know what from.” A nurse took over and nodded her head before picking her up and transferring Sophie off the portable gurney and on to one from the hospital.
“Mom?” The nurse asked her and at Karens nod, they started moving, “Follow me this way then. We’ll take her to a room in pediatrics then we’ll get her some fluids and talk.”
Karen nodded her head at the woman and followed her down the hallway, until they turned onto another hallway painted with colorful flowers and butterflies, this must be the peds department. The woman opened a door and asked Karen to wait outside for the doctor while she got Sophie situated- Sophie did not like that.
“No!! Don't leave- please!!” She started crying and all Karen could see was the night Karen left her at the police station, and her heart broke.
“It's okay, Soph- I'll be just outside, I promise.” All she could do was smile at her and walk out the door, trying her best to keep the tears from falling- she knew if Sophie saw her crying it would all get worse. Dealing with both Sophie's emotions and her own was the hard part, if she only had to try and keep herself together she could do it- but having to keep herself together so Sophie wouldn't fall apart felt impossible. Watching Sophie practically close to death and have nothing she could do about it, no way of stopping it or helping her made her feel like she was stuck in some horrible nightmare.
“Hello, I'm Dr. Jennifer Blake. I'm gonna be your daughters doctor for today- it looks like the nurse is done, why don't we head inside. She sounds like she’s looking for you.” The woman had dark red hair that was cropped short, it made her look young though she must have been Karen's age or older with the way she held herself.
“O-okay…” The woman led her in as the nurse was headed out, and Sophie finally stopped crying when she saw Karen coming back in. Her little hand reached out towards Karen, and she couldn't help but rush towards her and sit in the chair beside her.
“So my name is Jennifer Blake and I am going to help you get better and make sure this never happens again, okay? What's your name, sweetie?”
Sophie was clenching up and turning back into the shy recluse she had met on that fateful night- she was obviously afraid something bad would happen, that she would be taken- “It's okay, you can tell her.”
“M’names Sophie.” The doctor smiled at the progress and wrote it down on the clipboard.
“And yours?”
“Karen. Karen Page.”
“Okay, so Karen and Sophie Page. Alri-” Karen interrupted, not because she objected to the name- honestly she wouldn't mind if that was the name Sophie had. But that thought was for another day, she knew these would be documents and she had to set the record straight that she was Sophie's foster mother, not what they thought.
“Actually it's Sophie Ryan, I'm her foster mom.”
“Oh, okay then let me change that then- so you had an allergic reaction to something today, Sophie. Did you eat something out of the ordinary today?” The Doctor took her pen out, ready to write down on the medical chart anything that needed to be said.
“I don't think so. I ate what I normally do at school.”
“We did go to the supermarket tonight, and then it was shortly after that she started coughing and stuff.”
Jennifer nodded her head, “And what happened there?”
“We tried some samples when we were there, some ah- some spicy chocolate…. But she's had chocolate before.”
“Anything else?”
For some reason it was like her mind was muddied, she was having trouble remembering the afternoon with it being so stressful, “We tried uhh- we tried some… some soy milk. I mean- it's milk, I didn't think it would be a problem.”
“Ahh a soy allergy- no cause for alarm. Now we know, it's actually pretty common in children. Most kids grow out of it as they get older, we’ll just have to be more vigilant.”
Karen's hands started to shake, she pushed her to try it- Sophie didn't want any…. But Karen wanted her to try it, it was healthy it couldn't be bad? God, was she wrong. She almost killed her. “I thought- it was milk, I didn't think….. I didn't know, I wanted her to try something new- I thought I was being helpful making her try something new….”
“There's no need to freak out. This sort of thing is completely natural, Miss Page.”
She stood up and started pacing, “Natural? I almost killed her... How could I let something like this happen?”
“I'm gonna be honest with you, Miss Page. How do you think people discover any sort of allergy? They have an incident- something goes wrong and luckily you noticed before anything could really go wrong. Now you'll just have to be more vigilant about her diet, okay?”
She nodded at the red head, before moving back to the seat next to Soph who looked as tired as Karen felt. She wasn't surprised Soph was tired, it had been a long day and it was around bedtime for the little girl.
“Should I call CPS, or is that something you do?”
“We will have to notify CPS, but I recommend you notify your case worker as well. But I wouldn't worry about it.”
Karen scoffed at that, thinking this was gonna be something that would be a knock against her, “Wouldn't worry about it?”
“No, I wouldn't worry about it. I've seen a lot here, and I'll tell you I've seen a lot of other foster parents who are a lot less worried or attentive as you. And I'll tell you this much, the social workers take into account the nurses and doctors assessment- so I think you'll be fine, you and Sophie.” Karen couldn't help but smile at the woman, as she stood and took the chart with her as she left the room- leaving only Sophie and Karen in the room.
“How you doin, Soph? You good?”
Karen moved closer to the bed and mved the sweaty hair out of her eyes, running her fingers through Sophie's tangled curls. “I'm okay, just tired.”
“You can go to sleep. I'll be right here, don't worry- go to sleep sweetie.”
“Okay. Is….” The little girl turned her head back and forth looking around before whispering, “Is Frank coming?”
Karen felt a lump rising in her throat, a sadness that Sophie somehow knew having Frank around was against the rules. “I don't know, Soph. Why don't you close your eyes and I'll call him, okay?”
“Okay.” Karen watched as her eyes closed before digging in her purse, not wanting to be too loud incase she actually fell asleep.
She took her phone out and moved the chair to the corner of the room, incase he did answer- she didn't want Soph to hear Frank freakout. Because that's exactly what Karen was expecting, she had freaked out enough already- but she knew Soph was okay, watched with her own two eyes. It would be harder for Frank. She knew it would, after everything he's been through with his family. And because no matter what- he couldn't be here, even if he wanted to, Frank knew he wouldn't be able to come to the hospital. She wasn't even sure she wanted him here, too afraid he would be caught- Karen would rather not take the risk. Besides Karen and Frank had enough history in hospitals, they didn't need any more. But she did want him to know- to talk to him, to let him talk to Soph. Who was she kidding she needed to talk to him- he calmed her, and she needed him right now. If not in person, then she needed to hear his voice- that rough gravelly voice that made her feel safe.
So she dialed, and heard the rings growing more and more anxious the longer it took for him to answer.
The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone---
Karen called again, hoping he just hadn't realized she was calling.
The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone---
Maybe he didn't think it was an emergency and he could call her back. So she punched his number again.
The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone---
Dammit Frank. Again.
The number you have called is not availa-
Answer the god damn phone, Frank. Again.
The number you have called is not available at this time. Leave a message after the tone---
“It's me Frank. Jesus, answer the phone. We’re at the hospital, don't freak out- were fine. Sophie had an allergic reaction, just- just call me back.”
Karen sighed and hung up, before dialling once more- just incase.
The number-
The memory of him telling her he had work tonight flitted across her mind, but she chose to ignore it- opting instead for moving her chair back towards the bed, knowing this was gonna be a long night. With an even more stressful morning with CPS to look forward to. Instead of dealing with all that Karen chose to let sleep take her.
She woke with a start- a dream. No, a memory- of sitting in a room not unlike this one with a man. With Frank, talking to a man she never thought she would be this close too. A man who made her feel things that paled in comparison to any kind of love she thought she had felt for anyone before.
“Whats a foster?” The voice startled her, and her head shot up- not knowing Soph was awake she smiled at her, before the questioned registered.
“What?”
Her brain was still in that fogged just waking up stage, “Before- you said you were my foster mom. So what's a foster?”
“Um it's uh- it's someone who takes care of someone who needs it. Like me with you.”
She wasn't sure if that was the answer Sophie was looking for, but Karen thought it must have been enough since she went quiet. Karen got up and filled a cup with water from the pitcher at the side of the room, hoping the cold water would wake her up- unfortunately she would have to wait for breakfast to be brought to them or go get the coffee from the cafeteria. And she didn't want to leave- didn't think Soph would let her.
“Isn't that what moms do? Take care of people. So what's the difference between a mom and a foster mom?” These questions were far too complicated to hear and answer at this time of day, Karen thought.
“Umm well- I guess it has to do with Miss Walker. Remember her? Well she asked me to take care of you until someone adopts you.”
“Adopts me…. Because you don't want me? Forever?” Karen's eyes widened in disbelief at the question- yet knowing this would always be the questions Sophie would ask. When would someone leave me?
“No, no, no, no, no- No. That's not it. It's- it has nothing to do with how much I want you- Some people- It has to do with people thinking I might not be good enough to raise you. That a different mom and dad could do a better job.” This might be the toughest thing she's ever had to do- including watching her almost die a few hours earlier. This was harder- to get a four year old to understand the legal system. Ridiculous.
“I don't want another Mom and Dad- I want you to be my mom and I want-” Karen was almost in tears when Sophie was cut off, the voice of the person who could take her from Karen the only reason she didn't tell them to piss off and let the little girl finish her god damn sentence.
“Hello Miss Page. Hi Sophie- it's good to see you again.”
Karen looked up at her, a look that screamed government- “It's good to see you Mrs Walker.”
You have six missed calls and one voicemail- press one to play your last voicemail.
One.
It's me Frank. Jesus, answer the phone. We’re at the hospital, don't freak out- we’re fine. Sophie had an allergic reaction, just- just call me back.
Shit.