Bargaining Pt. 1
Harry put down his beer and locked onto Peter’s concerned eyes. He could tell that the brunette was nervous and struggling to speak.
“What is it?”
“Ever since what happened to my Uncle Ben, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own mortality.”
“Pete-”
“I just want you to know, in case anything happens to me, I wrote some letters. One’s for you and one’s for Aunt May. They’re in an envelope under my bed. If anything happens to me, find it.”
“Ok…” He seemed reluctant.
“But promise me Harry, you’ll only read it if something happens to me.”
“I promise.”
Peter held his fist out for a fist bump, Harry complied. Then they went back to almost-drunkenly naming constellations. Harry finished his beer a little faster than usual, trying desperately to relax the muscles in his chest. The night was still young.
* * *
The next day was the Monday of Thanksgiving break at Osborn Academy and once again Harry found himself at the front door of the Parker residence, knocking even more reluctantly than before. When Aunt May answered she seemed shocked. His heart sank.
“Oh… Harry…”
“Hi Mrs. Parker,” He began. “I understand if you don’t want to see me, but I figured you shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Aunt May smiled, the smile was soft but sad. “Come in…”
The house seemed bigger, in an eerie, ominous way, and it was so quiet it was harrowing. Aunt May’s own silence didn’t help, but Harry didn’t expect much different from her. The woman had just lost her only remaining family member and was now in the presence of the jerk that made a scene at his wake.
“Mrs. Parker, I’m sorry about yesterday I-”
“It’s ok, Harry. I think we’re all confused by Peter’s secret. Grieving is even harder when you feel like you never really knew the person when you should have known them better than anyone.”
“You mean he never told you?”
“No, I’m afraid not. Ever since he got into Horizon he seemed more distant, always busy with something. I figured it was just him growing up and embracing his studies, and I suppose it was in part, but Peter being Spiderman? It’s something I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams. And the fact that he felt he couldn’t tell me? It just makes me feel like I failed him.” She looked like she was about to cry
“Mrs. Parker. You didn’t fail him, he was always afraid of worrying you, that’s probably what it was.”
“I suppose...” She trailed off and didn’t speak for a long time. Harry couldn't think of anything to say either which left them in a void of crushing silence. Aunt May finally ended the quiet after it had dragged on far too long. “I was just about to clean out Peter’s room, I could use some help.”
They walked up the stairs and down the hall, into the room of the recently deceased.
Harry took a moment to examine the walls of the room, there were informational posters and charts displaying every kind of science, everything from astronomy to archaeology.
The poor kid could never pick what science to pursue.
Harry thought fondly to himself.
The poor kid never will.
That thought made him sick to his stomach.
There were also drawings and broken skateboards and plenty of other things attached to the wall. Everything seemed to reflect Peter perfectly.
After he was finished taking it all in, he had to begin taking it all down. Boxing in categories, what could be sold, what could be given away, and what should be thrown out.
Putting Peter’s sketches in the throw out pile made his stomach turn over.
He worked so hard on these.
Once the walls were taken care of they moved on to his drawers and dresser, cleaning out his clothes and other miscellaneous items. Within his dresser, Harry found a chart counting his wins and losses as Spider-Man. The talleys seemed to have stopped a long time ago, seeing that the chart was full. Harry felt an overwhelming fondness swelling in his chest and was forced to choke it down.
God I miss him.
Aunt May finished cleaning out his drawers, the boy owned more hoodies than Harry thought statistically possible.
His red one was still draped over his desk chair. Harry stared at it for a moment.
“You can have it if you want.” Aunt May said.
“Are you sure?” Harry asked in shock.
“I think he would have wanted you to have it.”
He picked up the hooded sweater with caution, almost teary eyed, and held it to his face. It smelled of sweat and Irish Spring deodorant but also something uniquely Pete. He looked up to address Aunt May.
“Thank you,” He said.
May just responded with a bittersweet smile. They returned to cleaning.
* * *
The room was mostly cleared. Peter’s science equipment and posters were to be donated to Horizon and Midtown, his clothes and computer were to be sold and his sketches and personal things where to be thrown out. The only area left to clean was under his bed.
The space underneath his bed mimicked that of any other teenager. Garbage, a few missing socks, clothes and nik-naks that must have been kicked under there to collect dust. The only thing that struck Harry as unusual was a small red box near the back wall. He pulled it out and opened it.
Inside were two envelopes, one labeled with his name, the other with Aunt May’s. It was enough to jog is memory.
He pocketed the envelopes and turned to Aunt May.
“All clear.” He said.
May nodded, and they carried the boxes downstairs.
* * *
“I’m gonna head out now, will you be ok?”
“I’ll be fine…” She responded gravely.
“Are you sure?’
“Yes it’s just…” She paused, trying to muster the strength to speak. “After losing Ben I thought I couldn’t lose much more, I just figured I would always have Peter.”
Harry looked down, feeling the heaviness of her pain.
He pulled the letter for Aunt May out of his pocket.
“Here...” He said. “It’s from Pete.”
May took the letter and opened it. As she read it, she raised her hand to her mouth and began to sob. When she was finished reading she turned to Harry and gave him a hug.
“Thank you, Harry.”
* * *
When he returned home, Harry was still reeling from cleaning out Peter’s room. The letter lay on his desk in the same amount of solitude as he felt. He almost didn’t want to open it, terrified of its contents, but he made a promise to Peter and he couldn’t break a promise like that whether he was dead or alive.
He slowly fiddled with the envelope, almost procrastinating. The piece of lined paper slid out easier than expected and Harry cautiously unfolded it and began to read.
Harry,
Hopefully you’ll never have to read this letter, and hopefully I gain the courage and opportunity to tell you these things in person but one way or another you’ll find these things out.
Let’s handle the big one first. I’m Spider-Man, I’ve been Spider-Man this whole time. I was bitten by an experimental spider on that field trip to Oscorp freshman year, that’s why I got sick and disappeared. I’m so sorry if I never told you, believe me I’ve wanted to for so long, but I know how you and your dad feel about Spider-Man and I didn’t want you to hate me or feel forced to choose. I promise I didn’t get you suspended from horizon, I would never want to hurt you.
That brings me to my next confession, and to be honest it’s even more terrifying to admit this than being Spider-Man. It took me far too long to realise it myself but I am, to put it frankly, very much in love with you. Halfway through sophomore year it clicked, it clicked in my oblivious mind that I was in love with my best friend. I love you Harry, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I hope someday I’ll be able to kiss you, god knows how long I’ve wanted to.
I’m sorry if any of this information hurts you, or makes you think of me differently. Honestly, I know it will regardless but I just wanted you to know these things, so in case anything happens to me, you can hear it from me. So, If I’m not around by the time you read this take care of Aunt May and the others for me, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Things will be ok.
Love,
Pete.