Chapter 5
“Honeybear, Have you packed yet?” A drawn out sigh from the other line answers him, “You haven’t have you? I knew it-”
“Tones, it is another week before we visit. I am not packing a week early-”
“And just why not? I’m all packed-” he has the audacity to huff in exasperation.
“Yes, because Pepper forces you to so she doesn’t have to the day of.” The eye roll is physical enough that Tony feels it hundreds of miles away and pouts. “What’d she say to get you to do it yourself anyway?” Dead silence. “Tony what’d she say?”
“Nothing important…” Mhmm sure, wait it out. “...She threatened to sever something if she had to do it, and I’m quoting, ‘one more fucking time Anthony Edward Stark’” Full blown laughter on the other line. “Oh shut up Honeybear! Y’know she’d do it too.” Fucking tiger, always ready to sever something.
“She used your full name, of course she meant business.” Shuffling can be heard as Rhodey wipes the tears from his eyes. “Does that mean you’re forced to pack Natasha’s and your new beefcake’s stuff too?” Nothing, “Tony, you did ask them right? You’ve been talking about this for the last month.”
“I mean, what, what if they don’t wanna come Rhodes?” Uh oh, Rhodes. “I want them to,god I want them to, but it’s new with Bucky, and meeting everyone might be too soon for them, and-” The man’s on the verge of an absolute panic.
“Tones fucking breathe okay? In-” The bear makes a point of inhaling as loud as possible so it can be heard until Tony takes a breath as well and holds it, “Out. Okay. How about you just ask them? I promise you it’s not as tough as you’re making it out to be.”
“...Okay, love you Honeybear,”
“Love you too Tones… and stop calling me Honeybear.”
The dragon shouts “Never!” and hangs up the phone.
***
The Winter Soldier and the Black Widow had been locked in a poker game for nearly an hour. Not so much locked, as the redhead was kicking his ass and the soldier refused to leave until she was defeated.
“For supposedly being unbeatable, you’re really getting your ass kicked, huh?” Bucky shoots a glare over his hand at Clint watching the proceedings. Natasha’s only response is an upward tilt of her lips before slipping back into an impassive expression. The soldier’s glare hardens.
“Feel free to fuck off, unless you’d like to pull up a chair and join in. I don’t needa peanut gallery here.” Natasha snorts so he must of said something right, he knows he said something right when the gargoyle gasps in outrage and storms away to the kitchen. Mumbling something about not being willing to lose his own dignity. Finally something to smile about.
“Call.” There goes his smile. He lays the cards out onto the table, two pair, queens and fives. Natasha wraps an arm around the chips on the table while placing her own cards on the counter. Four aces. The sound of Bucky's head hitting the table's surface could be likened to a rifle shot.
“How are you doing this?” The drider says nothing at first and just leans over to place a kiss on his head.
“You have a shit poker face,” The man just groans so she runs gentle fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe. “Wanna call it and just get something to eat?”
“No.” He lifts his head and points a finger at her. “I am winning one fucking hand before we do anything else today.”
“You won’t be doing anything else today then!” Could be heard distantly from down the hall.
“Shut up peanut gallery!” There’s a red tint to the man’s eye before he loosens up and nudges the deck over to his girlfriend. “Your turn to deal.” She rolls her eyes but shuffles the cards anyway and starts setting them out.
“You are determined. You’re also too easy to read, maybe you need a pair of sunglasses, you could always ask Tony for a pair, he’ll buy you ten.”
“I don’t need sunglasses.” He grumbles. Not only at her, but his hand as well. Garbage.
“Let’s get your muzzle then-”
“It’s not a muzzle,” She gives him a patented unimpressed look and swaps out two of her cards. Bucky does the same and curses, folding entirely. He grabs the cards up and shuffles again.
“Could have fooled me, what with your penchant for using teeth.” That earns her a smile and waggled eyebrows.
“I thought you liked it rough,” His new hand is trash too, fucking hell.
“I never said I didn’t,” She sends him a glance and rolls her eyes. “Control your face, it looks like you need to fold.”
“I am not folding,” said like a curse. “Not this time.”
Not a few seconds later, “Buck you should fold.” Bucky makes sure to use his left arm to swing around and hit Steve in the hip. “Ow! It’s true! That hand was trash.”
“Get out! I don’t need you here! Out!”
“I’m going I’m going!” He makes sure to rub at his injured bone while walking around them. “Buck that really hurt.” Using his most sullen tone.
“Good.”
***
An hour later finds Bucky lying facedown on the floor with Natasha giving him a backrub. Apparently payment for causing emotional distress.
“I’m doubting all of these knots are from our little game,” A spectacular pop from the man’s back and he can only groan as a response. “What’s got you so tense hmm?” He mumbles something into the ground. “Sorry didn’t catch that.”
“I haven’t shifted.” A noise resembling ‘go on’ leaves her throat and he can only brace for impact, honestly. “I haven’t shifted since Stevie found me.” Her hands still. “Don’t murder me. It’s not fair to already be on top.”
“Bucky, you need to shift. You’ve heard us have this conversation with Cap all the fucking time. If you don’t, and your emotions are out of whack, you could go feral.” It almost sounds like a tinge of worry in her tone.
“Tony doesn’t shift, he’s fine-” is the mumbled reply.
“He doesn’t shift around people! He goes off on trips so he can shift in peace and not disturb the delicate nature of domestic society.” She gives a firm shove between his shoulder blades, causing a painful crackle along his spine. “His dragon is the size of a building Bucky, I wouldn’t want him to shift in the living room-”
“I don’t want to shift around people!” Again quieter this time, “I don’t want to shift around people, I’m associated with death Tasha, who wants to be around that?”
“You understand that I’m known for murder correct?” She stops him before he can try to interject. “No, really. I’m The Black Widow, not a black widow, the. Plenty of red on my ledger, and yet you and Tony chose me. Did you even know people still call that bumbling goof Merchant of Death?”
“Who the hell calls him that? He cried when that little girl gave him that card.”
A lengthy story, but point is Tony’s is probably the world’s biggest softy. And sucker for children.
Natasha just shrugs a shoulder and returns to her task “What I’m trying to say is, we aren’t known for being gentle. I remember you from before, I know what to expect, how about you just shift around me first, I know what to expect from you, yeah?”
“...’Kay,” They return to their previous quiet for several minutes… before Natasha hits a particularly sensitive spot on his shoulder and the man’s moan is absolutely indecent.
“I’m not disturbing anything am I?” They both look to the doorway Tony is leaning in, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “This looks like something that leads to one of our sexy times. Do I need to talk to you guys later?”
“No,” The beaming grin Natasha shoots him is entirely distracting, “Bucky here just needs a little stress relief from our poker game.” Tony shoots a disbelieving look at the soldier.
“You willingly challenged her?” Bucky just groans and hides his face in his arms. He knows now. “Oh honey, at least challenge her to hold ‘em, she’ll kick your ass if it’s straight poker.” He can practically feel the drider on his back preening. He hears Tony’s footsteps into the room and feels the shift when the redhead leans over for a kiss.
“Morning, handsome,”
“Morning, gorgeous, and good morning beautiful,” Said from incredibly nearby so Bucky risks a glance to find Tony laid out on the ground and grinning at him, “Can I get a good morning kiss from you too?” As if the answer would ever be no. He leans over just enough to press a chaste kiss to those beautiful lips and retreats. Tony sends him a wink and a “thank you very much” to which Barnes rolls his eyes.
“Finally decided we were better than your Honeybear?” Natasha teases, digging her elbow into Bucky’s spine when she places her chin on her hand.
“Better in more ways than one,” He quickly snatches Natasha and places the spy on his lap, smiling, “just needed to check with him about next week.”
“What’s happening next week?” Bucky shifts to his elbows and sends the dragon a questioning look. Was Tony leaving?
“Hey now, don’t make that face,” huh, maybe he was easier to read now. “Just making sure he’s packed and ready for the family reunion is all.” He catches a flicker of a pout to Nat’s lip but she recovers quickly and instead winds her arms around Tony’s neck and plays with the hair at the base of his neck.
“How long will you be gone?” She asks.
“About a week, probably less if I hear a different answer,”
“Answer to what?” Bucky fully sits up and crossed his legs, taking Tony’s hand when it’s offered.
“If you two will go with me..” Bucky can practically feel himself pale, “You don’t have to! There’s no pressure I promise,” He shoots a look to Natasha in his lap, “You don’t have to, I’d just- You guys are important to me, and I’d like-” He huffs, “I’m not good at this. Like really bad at it.” He takes a breath to brace himself, “Can, can you guys just think about it? You have the week to think about it. I’d just, like you to meet them,”
Natasha moves her hands to his face and lays a kiss on his lips, “We’ll think about it sweetheart, we’ll think about it.”
“Thank you,”
***
“Why did you look so scared when he asked us that?” Natasha queries later, now that they decided lunch was pretty essential. The billionaire had received a phone call from Miss Potts, inquiring about all of the paperwork he had left to complete before his time off. He scurried off once the conversation ended. “James?”
“I’ve never met anyone in his family,” He practically hisses and buries his face in his hands, “At least you’ve met them before-”
“I haven’t met them either,” He shoots her a disbelieving look.
“You what?”
“I haven’t met them either.” She repeats and shoves her plate to the side. “What makes you think I have? We haven’t even been together for two years. He probably hasn’t trusted me with family until now because I stabbed him that one time-”
“You what-” Nat waves him off lazily, because getting stabbed isn’t a big deal.
“Story for another time. Point is I haven’t met them either.”
“Well what do you think about it then?” Bucky shoves his plate away too but chugs at the two liter of pepsi next to him. The red head could see her brain if she rolled her eyes any harder. She gathers the plates and leaves them in the sink before resting a hand on his shoulder.
“I think… I think a dragon is trying to introduce his true hoard to his chosen one,” The soldier squints at her. “He picked us, and he wants us to meet the family.” She runs her delicate fingers over his shoulder blade, contemplating her next words, “I think, I’d like to meet them.” She moves to leave the kitchen but halts and sends a pleading look at the other. “Please think about it Bucky, you have all week.”
***
A week later Tony Stark is being carried bridal style by an unimpressed James Rhodes.
“Hey, I have your bags, you could at least smile about that-”
“Tones,” if his hands weren’t occupied, he’d pinch the bridge of his nose, “I am carrying you carrying the bags. I am carrying you and my own stuff, how is this an improvement to carrying my own shit?” Tony just sends him a dirty look which, rude.
“My stuff’s already up there, I got tired of walking,”
“Laziest dragon on the planet,” He mutters to himself to which Tony plants a kiss on his cheek.
“You miss me Sourpatch, we both know it, stop pretending.” Which, true, but still fucking dumb.
They arrive at the private jet and Rhodey just sighs in exasperation at the sight before him.
“Tony, I know I call you a prima donna all the fucking time but do you really need that much shit?” Finally his attention is drawn toward the jet and he notices all of the bags he doesn’t remember packing.
“...Those aren’t mine-”
“No, they’re ours.” Both sets of eyes snap up to find the spy and the soldier on the stairs to the jet, looking completely smug and adorable. Well adorable to Tony, Rhodey was a little shocked, considering Tony warned him “I blew it, I fucking blew it oh my god they’ll never talk to me again-” a second later a squirming dragon wriggles his way out of the bear’s hold and sprints to the jet.
“You came,” He kisses Bucky first and gives a quick peck to Natasha before shouting back, “You’ve got the stuff right Honeybunch?” Who just growls lowly at him.
“Tony I get you’re excited they’re here, but for fucks sake,” He lets his eyes shade to black, “There will be no sex on the jet to Italy do you understand?”
“Aw Honey-”
“No sex-!”
“Fine!” He leans back into the jet and shouts to his spider and hound, “No sex on the way there! Rhodey has spoken!”
“That leaves us open for sex on the return trip right?” Bucky shouts back and Rhodey might actually throw up.
Weren’t they just meant to be. Disgusting. All three of them.
It’s fine though, Rhodey doesn’t need to give a shovel talk…
The Carbonell family will handle that.