Polyphon

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denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance , defiance

gideon; harrow the ninth

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it's the taste of blood in a mouth that's not your own, cold iron clots you choke out onto the dirty insane-alien-insect-splattered ground and

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'No no no no no no no-'

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it's mismatched eyes in an obscenely unpainted face and

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'Come back, damn you, come back!'

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it's you already died once for this, you already died to PREVENT this, dammit all to skeleton infested no-tits hell, and you're DAMN well not going to die now and

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'Come back. Please come back.'

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it's hastily applied face paint and frantic half-mad promises and desperate longing entreaty underneath and

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'I'll be here as long as/until/only/if you ever when you decide to come back.'

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it's you were never supposed to wake up in the first place, and now that's everyone's problem, and they'll just have to deal with it.

depression

gideon in kiriona; nona the ninth

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'Where is she?"

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and what do you know it's Harrow's face but Harrow's not home, second verse same as the first, and fuck but that song sucks just as much the second time around, it's

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and seeing her face move that way, Harrow would NEVER, this is all wrong wrong wrong it's

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and the kiss! a kiss that you never, well okay that you've imagined far more than you'll ever actually admit, but that would never happen, and then She does it and it's - it means NOTHING, less than nothing - how DARE she puppet Harrow around like it's

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'Do you love her?'

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and she's not yours, but she's not anyone else's either, not least because she's not around to consent to ANYTHING right now, and if she were, it still wouldn't be you, not that it's about that, not that it's even allowed to be about that, it's

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and she's never going to forgive you for saving her life, and even though you've died and come back as someone else, somehow it's still your problem.