A Game of Catch
By the time Tony managed to finally return to his quarters in the New Avengers’ facility the sun was already setting over the surrounding treeline. Expecting to see Peter sitting on the couch watching The Office like he had been before Tony had left for the day, he instantly felt something that he didn’t want to admit was concern when he was instead met with total silence and no spiderling anywhere in the vicinity. While Tony knew that the Avengers’ compound was one of the safest places in the world, Tony still did not like for Peter to wander the complex on his own whenever Secretary Ross was supposed to pay a visit.
“FRIDAY, do you know where the kid is?” Tony asked towards the ceiling.
“The back lawn of the compound, Boss. He spent most of the day in your quarters, but he said he was bored of watching Netflix, and decided to go on a run around the compound,” FRIDAY answered dutifully. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before continuing, “He seems to be upset.”
Now Tony could admit to himself that he felt full-blown concern. “About what, FRI?”
“I’m not certain, Boss, he was fine when he made his first lap around the compound. He stopped midway through his second lap, and then just decided to sit down near the team shed. Would you like me to tell him you are here looking for him?” FRIDAY inquired.
Tony thought about for a moment, but decided against it. Shaking his head as he exited his quarters, he replied, “Nah, I’ll just go to him. This was supposed to be a fun weekend for him, but I’ve just been ignoring him. The least I could do is check up on him.”
Like the loyal AI that she was, FRIDAY chided, “You haven’t been ignoring him on purpose. The meetings were decided last minute, and Peter understood that.”
Tony was silent. He knew logically that he couldn’t have avoided the damn meetings with Ross and his staff, but he still felt as if he was ruining the kid’s time. This weekend was supposed to be special, for both of them.
For Tony it was supposed to be a stress reliever after the weeks of conferences and talks with the ex-Avengers in order to help them receive full pardons over what the media had dubbed the “Avengers’ Civil War.” While he had not fully forgiven his old team for everything that had happened leading up to the Leipzig airport fight, nor had he forgiven Steve for everything that had happened afterwards, he also knew that something powerful had set its eyes on Earth. In order for the world to survive, the Avengers needed to reband together, and learn how to trust one another again. And Tony was man enough to know that, while Team Cap had made many mistakes (Tony would still sometimes find himself screaming in the night as he was forced to watch his parents’ murder in his dreams over and over and over and over …), he too had not helped to defuse the situation. And if Tony needed to bury his feelings in a deep dark ditch (darker than even that cave in Afghanistan) in order to guarantee the safety of the world, then so be it.
He hadn’t originally meant to ask for Peter to spend the weekend with him at the Avengers’ compound. Even through his busy schedule, he had still been seeing the kid on their “official” lab days so the kid could get credit for his Stark internship and give the proof to his little nerd school. However, Tony had noticed that lately, Peter seemed more frayed around the edges. His eyes shifted more, and it took longer for him to process things. It seemed as if the kid was perpetually staring off in the distance. He had even been paying less attention his lab sessions with Tony, causing him to break a couple of beakers. It all concerned Tony enough that he called up May one night after Peter had left.
“Oh, I had hoped he was acting better around you,” she had said when Tony voiced his concerns.
“What do you mean,” Tony frowned as he tinkered with new armour for the Hulk.
“He’s been like that almost all month,” May sighed. Tony could practically see her biting her lip as she debated whether to tell him the reason why. Before Tony could cajole her, she continued in a smaller voice, “The first anniversary of Ben’s death is coming up.”
Tony dropped what he was doing, all of a sudden feeling numb. It made sense, of course it did. Peter had never told Tony of his uncle’s death, nor had he told him of the circumstances of said death. But Tony had done his research when he first recruited the squirt, and it all started replaying in his head.
Shot in the chest , he thought to himself , while his young nephew watched. Ben Parker died in his nephew’s arms . Tony felt like the biggest dick in the world. He should of known what Peter was going through, and yet he had snapped at the kid that same day when Peter had dropped a third beaker. He was a terrible mentor.
The next lab session that Tony had with Peter after his conversation with May had been awkward on Tony’s part. He tried to keep his jokes light, and his annoyances to himself. Still, Tony felt like shit, so he invited the kid to join him for the weekend at the Avengers’ compound. For fun and training , he had promised. We can even have a couple of science fiction movie marathons.
Peter had genuinely been happy with the invitation, a light that had been missing for a while brightening his brown eyes. The first Friday night had been fun, with both of them watching all three Back to the Future films in the living room. However, early that morning Thaddeus Ross had called, demanding to speak to Tony over new amendments in the Accords. Tony was tempted to just send the men straight to Hell, but Peter had protested.
“It’s ok Mr. Stark, I know that you’re always super busy. We can just do something fun after you’re done, I’ll be fine,” Peter had promised, a half-hearted smile on his lips. Tony had felt terrible about it, but since there wasn’t much he could do he just ruffled Peter’s hair and went to the conference room with Ross.
Finally reaching the back entrance, he stared at Peter, who was sitting in the empty field, staring at the forest as he hugged his knees to his chest. Fine my ass , Tony thought.
“Hey kid,” Tony called out cautiously as he approached Peter’s form. “Watcha doing?”
If Peter was surprised that Tony had come out he did not show it. “Nothing much,” Peter said as he turned his head towards Tony. He could see that the spiderling was fiddling with something in his hand, but Tony couldn’t tell what it was from his position yet. “Just thinking.”
“Penny for your thoughts?” Tony asked as he took a seat next to Peter. “Or would a million dollars be better?” Sitting next to Peter, Tony could see that the kid was fiddling with a matte brown baseball glove, while an identical glove and ball were settled in front of him.
Peter snorted next to him. “Trust me when I say my thoughts aren’t worth a million dollars. Not even close.”
“I would beg to differ. Some of your ideas are worth even more than what I have,” Tony said. And he honestly meant that, the kid sitting right next to him was one of the smartest people he had ever met, and Tony knew that one day, Peter would change the world. Even if the kid didn’t fully believe him yet.
Tony could see Peter hide a shy smile, but didn’t say anything else. Silence took up the air around them, and Tony racked his brain trying to figure out what to say, how to apologize. Finally, he settled for asking, “Where’d you get the glove?”
Peter blinked, and looked down at the glove in his hands as if he didn’t remember even holding it. Turning around toward the compound, he pointed towards the team shed near the building. “In there. I was curious to see what was in it, and FRIDAY said I was allowed to see.”
Tony looked towards the shed and felt his heart twist. Once upon a time, when the team was still happy and whole, Tony had noticed that all the Avengers would randomly do something different outside. Steve would throw a baseball in the air and practice batting with it, while Clint would shoot at random targets that he had set up. Natasha would sit outside and read as the sun hit her face, while Wanda tried to teach Vision how to paint watercolors. Rhodey and Sam would play basketball with one another while Bruce would referee them, and Tony would just sit and watch them all as he worked on plans from his phone. After a while Tony decided to have a shed installed, to hold the chairs that the team used to sit outside. One by one the rest of the Avengers added more things into the shed, from balls of all sizes to a whole basketball hoop and headboard. Sometimes, after a rough mission or on a boring Saturday afternoon, one of the team members would bring out something the whole team could play together, like baseball or kickball. As childish as it would sound, the whole team would let loose and have fun, acting like a dysfunctional but loving family. A family that’s now broken, Tony reflected.
“Mr. Stark, are you ok?” Tony tore his eyes away from the shed, and looked at Peter. He saw worry in Peter’s eye, and forced himself to smile at the kid.
“Yeah of course, just remembering something,” he said. Tony felt his smile slowly slip away. “I should be the one asking that to you, kiddo, or at least apologizing,” Tony mused out loud.
Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean, Mr. Stark?”
Shaking his head, Tony sighed, “You know what I mean, Pete.”
Peter was silent for a moment, before he timidly asked, “Is this about how you were busy all day today?”
“Of course it is, underoos,” Tony rolled his eyes. “I promised you a fun-filled weekend, and you spent the whole day pretty much alone. I’m a pretty shitty host, huh?”
“No you’re not!” Peter protested. “It’s not your fault Secretary Ross decided to come and be an asshat. I know that you’re always busy, and yet you somehow always manage to make time for me. Plus, you spent all of yesterday night watching movies with me!”
Tony couldn’t help but smile at the kid’s defense of him. Not wanting to argue with Peter, all he said was, “Alright, kid, whatever you say.”
The two were silent again, until Peter broke it, twisting the glove in his hand. “You know, my Uncle Ben always tried to teach me how to play baseball when I was little.”
“Oh really?” Tony hummed, trying to not make a big deal out of Peter’s words for fear that he would clam up again. If the squirt needs to talk, let him .
“Yeah, he’d sit me down on a weekend and put on a Mets game. He’d explain all the rules to me, and answer all of my dumb little kid questions.” Peter grinned at the glove in his hands, adding, “Then, Uncle Ben would always take me out afterwards, both of our gloves and a ball in his hands while he’d walk us towards the park. He’d give me one glove, and have me run far from him. ‘Alright that’s far enough, Pete’ he’d say after a while, and then would throw the baseball to me. I wish I could say I caught it Mr. Stark, but before the spiderbite I was terrible !” Peter laughed, and it wasn’t an empty one. No, it was a full one that shook his whole frame. Tony couldn’t help but laugh along, pleased that Peter was acting like the bright teenager that Tony knew he was.
Still grinning, Peter continued, “I remember once he even got us Mets tickets, him, me, and Aunt May. He got me ice cream in one of those little batter’s helmets that they sold at the stadium. Aunt May said it was way over priced, but Ben didn’t care because I really wanted it. I didn’t care that we could barely see the game from our seats, I had so much fun with them. I had so much fun with him.” All through Peter’s story, his wide grin had slipped until it was all gone by the end. He looked down at the glove he was holding, blinking hard. “I miss him,” he whispered.
Before Tony had met this strange kid, Tony would always say he was bad with emotions. Terrible, in fact. He couldn’t be in the same room as someone who was in tears without feeling like he was suffocating. But, watching this kid, his kid , struggle to hold back tears, made something in Tony’s heart resolve itself. He wanted, no needed , to make his kid feel better.
Tentatively, Tony wrapped his left arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Did I ever tell you that my dad was asshole?”
Tilting his head to look at Tony better, Peter quirked an eyebrow. “No? I don’t think so.”
Tony laughed bitterly. “Yeah well, I usually don’t try to share it with anyone. I mean, my dad wasn’t a bad man, but he was a terrible father. He was a drinker, and was always obsessive. He was best friends with our very own Cap, back in the day. But when Grandpa Frisbee got stuck in the ice, my father changed. Or, at least that’s what I was told.” Tony shook his head, and pulled his head back to watch the setting sun. “I’m pretty sure he never wanted kids. When I came along, he tried to deal with me for my mother’s sake. But he was never… involved with my childhood. Never played catch, never took me to watch a game, never even spent time with me if it wasn’t required. Never told me he was proud of me, and definitely never told me he loved me. I was so sure he hated me when I was a kid, and I promised myself that if I ever had kids, I would never treat them like how my old man treated me.
“I found out a couple of years back that he actually did love me though. Left a video message for me, and told me I was ‘His Greatest Creation’ if you could believe that. After all that time that I thought my dad hated me, and he actually did love me in his own emotionally-constipated way.” Tony shook his head. He hadn’t really thought much about Howard lately, but in some ways the man was still with him. When he was younger he had always promised himself that he wound never, ever forgive Howard for all the emotional pain that he had caused him in his childhood. But after all the experiences that Tony had lived through, he now realized he could forgive his father. Howard had never been a perfect man, he was just a regular man, with normal faults and errors. And Tony could no longer find it in him to hate the man after all this time.
“I’m sorry Mr. Stark,” Peter said plainly. Looking down, Tony saw empathy and sadness in the boy’s eyes. Peter squeezed the hand of the arm that Tony had around him. “Sorry that your dad was a giant asshole.”
Quirking his lips, Tony squeezed Peter’s hand back. “I’m not telling you all of this for you to feel bad, kiddo. I’m telling you so you can know how lucky you truly were to have your Uncle in your life. You had a man that was willing to do anything for you, and it's ok for you to remember that. I know his death anniversary is coming up, and I want you to know that it’s ok to feel sad, or upset, hell even angry! I’m sure Ben Parker was a good man, a much better man than my father, or even me.”
Biting his lip, Peter asked, “And how do you know that, Mr. Stark?”
Smiling, Tony answered, “Well, for starters, he raised one hell of a man, kiddo.”
“You really think so?” Peter whispered, eyes big.
“Christ, kid, I don’t think see, I know so."
Closing his eyes Peter leaned towards Tony. “Thanks Mr. Stark.” Opening back his eyes, Peter added, “But I think you’re one hell of a man, too. Definitely one of my favorites, and a better man than your dad ever was. Definitely a better father than him, that’s for sure, and I’m really glad to have you in my life, Tony.”
“Yeah, sure kid, whatever you say.” Tony turned his head away so the kid wouldn’t see the sudden moisture in his eyes. This kid and emotions, Tony thought.
Clearing his throat slightly, Tony nodded towards the glove and ball on the floor. “How ‘bout we play a game of catch. In light of the mood and all that.”
Peter grinned bashfully as he got up, putting on his own glove as he passed the other glove to Tony. “I’d really like that, Mr. Stark.”
“Just saying, I am a really competitive player,” Tony warned playfully, watching as the kid took up a position across the field from him.
Peter smirked. “So am I, and thanks to the bite, I am a much better player now than I was as a kid.” To show off, he threw the ball very high in the air, higher than any normal human could, and caught it easily behind his back. “You ready?” he asked. When he saw Tony nod, mouth hanging open slightly, Peter smiled and threw the ball.
“So, how long they been playing, FRIDAY?” Rhodey asked, staring at the teen and his best friend playing catch under the night sky in the back field of the compound.
“Approximately one hour,” FRIDAY answered. “Would you like me to tell the Boss you are here?”
Watching as Tony laughed at some joke the kid must have said, and seeing Peter smile brightly, Rhodey shook his head, a small smile on his own lips. “Nah, s’ok. Tony always said that he would play catch with his son one day, I just wasn’t expecting to see that day be today.”