Elementary
“Come on Bri, the game is afoot!” Toni’s attempted British accent was downright laughable. Which was exactly what Briana did – laugh.
“Dr. Banner, this isn’t funny. Toni, stop messing around and suit up!” Stephanie tried to get the team to assemble, but not even Natasha was moving off the couch at the sound of the alarm. Not after Director Fury had debriefed them about the villain du jour. Villain might have been too grand a title. Even Agent Coulson seemed insulted that the world’s mightiest heroes were being called in to deal with a small time prankster who stole one of the shinier Crown Jewels from the Tower of London. And Agent Coulson took even the stupidest missions seriously.
“Oh my dear Captain,” She didn’t drop the accent, taking it more absurd. The eccentric billionaire draped herself over the back of the couch, posing like some swooned Victorian maiden. “Don’t be so elementary. I am suited up.” Toni had taken this as an opportunity to dig deep into her closet. Why she had a vintage vest with a black top hat to match, Briana wasn’t sure. The dark fabric made her already slim frame slimmer, but Bri had no doubt Toni had hidden some sort of Kevlar between the pinstripe lines. Even the silver watch chain over the breast pocket seemed to shimmer with the same kind of blue light that was the signature of all advanced Stark Tech. Knowing Toni, should could very easily fight any villain even in her ridiculous costume.
So when the London thief was ready to turn the crown jewels into a bioweapon, Toni was ready. With more than a repulsor gauntlet that slid out of her dress shirt sleeves, she kept up that stupid accent and talked the young villain down. Something about bioweapons being so last century and having class, honestly, Briana didn’t follow the convoluted narrative, but it worked. As they were handcuffing the wannabe villain, Toni placed her top hat on his head. “Be on good behavior, get out in five,” the accent was gone, “then come talk to me and we’ll turn those bioweapon skills into something that can save lives.”