Moving forward
Loki feels his focus stagger. Feels it breaking as the world changes around him forever.
He opens his eyes to his bedroom, tears in his eyes. He falls back onto his bed. Except it isn't, is it? Not his that is. Nothing here is his because he is not a son of Odin All-Father. What was he than? Who was he for the King of Asgard to take him in?
'Hey, now. None of that thinking you're worthless! I didn't tell you so you can spiral into a pool of self-pity.' Her voice softens, 'You are not who the world tells you to become. You are who you want to be. Do you want to be this person?'
"I don't know." He didn't know anything anymore. What did he know about himself? What did he know at all? Nothing.
'Do you want to be the person who breaks if all of Asgard hates you? Even if it means they can't see your worth?' There was the sensation of reproach. He could feel what she felt about that and it made him feel a bit better. 'If they can't or refuse to see your worth than go out find it for your self. Conformity is the jailor of freedom and the enemy of growth*. You have the potential to be anything you want. Anything at all but you only have this one life to get it. Are you going to let it stop right here? Right now?'
Her indignation churns his stomach and burns his throat. He had been ungrateful hadn't he? He wanted the truth and when she gave it, he thought terrible things about himself and his worth. After the glimpse of the future he could have, he spurned her attempt to lead him there.
"No."
He still wanted that glimpse she showed him. He wanted that future to be his. Something he could gain without the influence of Thor or Asgard. It called to him the moment the words passed her lips and he wanted it. But if he let every little thing stand in his way than would he be worthy of the future that he desires? Would he have earned it? No. It would have slipped through his fingers.
'Will you surrender to them? To this life without a fight? You are The Trickster. Rebel!' she snarls at him, angry at his complacency. He didn't mean to but...
"What about family?"
He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to wonder why he was here instead of with his birth family. Was he not wanted? Was he abandoned? Stolen?
'Your family is who ever you choose. It can be the House of Odin,' her disdain cuts him before suddenly its gone, 'or the House of which you were born. It can even be no House at all but a group of people who accept you for who you really are. All of who you are.'
Loki thinks on her word. In runs over each letter and stews on them. On the meaning of them before he understands and the world doesn't seem so dark. He could make his own family couldn't he? Maybe not now but years later.
"I would like that."
'Than I shall set before you a near impossible task.'
Loki sits up, curious and eager for something to focus on.
'You're task is to learn to grow to be the best that you can be. Whether Asgard accepts you or not. For you to accept and love yourself. To find peace with yourself. Do you accept?'
What she asked was indeed a near impossible task. It is a form of magic that even the most skilled at magic had difficulty achieving. But those that have achieved it are capable of the most profound feats of magic in all the Nine Realms. Not even Odin or his mother Frigga can brag of such skill.
"I'll...I will try." To accomplish such a thing will be incredibly difficult but the reward? It will be worth every struggle.
'Then I'll be here to help you every step of the way. Now,' Suddenly he can feel just as easily as he can hear the mischief in her voice, 'lets see if we cant speed up your studies in magic.'
It has been some time since Loki was fully healed and started to practice magic from her.
Frigga finds herself deeply disturbed.
Loki has always been an introspective child. Always in deep thought. His focus on his studies is to be commended. He simply absorbs everything she teaches. Unnaturally so. To her knowledge, no mage has ever accelerated so much in so little time. It is as if he knows the theory before she even present it and is simply humoring her or that he made his own assumptions and is waiting for her to prove or deny them.
Perhaps he is simply a prodigy?
His magic is also strange to her. It is a bright star to her senses. But like all users, it will eventually, focus down. As the studies progress, the magic will lean toward a specific specialization. She assumed it would lean more toward ice magic or even illusions. It does not. He does dabble in such branches of course but it does not seem to call to him. Concepts that the most skilled apprentice struggle with are easy to him. Spells that were meant for one thing are twisted until they are new spells entirely.
Loki does it all with a smile.
It worries her. Did the mage do something else before she got there? Or was this how her son has always been? If so, it is no wonder the mage tried to ruin him. Prodigal mages are beings of immense power and are often credited with shaping the Nine Realms. If Loki is destined for such a thing it is no surprise that another might feel threatened by him and seek to cripple him before his full potential was ever realized.
At least he still acted like a boy.
His pranks on Thor and the other boy can be heard all throughout the palace. The 'daggers' that Loki 'stabbed' everyone with are his favorite. They did not cause any actual wounds but they held a particularly potent toxin that made the victims break out in blue colored hives and forcefully eject anything within their bowels. It was quite the sight seeing so many guards, even General Tyr, and some of the nobles incapacitated by the young prince.
She sighs while sitting in her sun room.
Children grew up so fast.
Frigga still worries for her son. She did not birth him but she loves him all the same. Already there is gossip about how different Loki is to his brother and his father. Already there is gossip that he is clever but not honorable. He is strange because he prefers the use seidr instead of a sword. Odin will not quell the rumors, will not crush them like he should for fear that some secret of Loki's true family, which he would not tell her, would be revealed. Better he be subject to baseless rumors for whatever reason.
Frigga, rightfully, did not agree. Alas, there is not much she can do but what can do is better than nothing.
"Mother." Loki enters and several of her handmaidens glance at him.
He is not yet a man but not quite a little boy who will sit in his mother's lap. He is already showing signs of growing into long limbs and his green eyes are sure to break many maiden's hearts.
"My son." seeing one arm behind him, she smiles. "What have you there?"
Being caught, the little prince grins and shows his prize. A flower made from parchment and colored with magic, sparkling in the sunlight.
"For you, mother."
"Its beautiful, my Loki." It truly is.
The seidr was woven intricately and with care. She recognized a few to keep from catching fire and being crushed. Another was to change color with the seasons and one she vaguely recalled meant to create a soothing smell in times of duress.
"Loki wanted to give you an early birthday gift." Frigga snaps her gaze to the new voice, one she did not hear enter but found her eyes locked with gold. "I suggested something small but meaningful."
"I..." she swallows carefully. "Loki?"
It was her son's face, his body but not his voice. Not her son. It was someone else. Something else, speaking through him. She caught a glimpse once before and hoped to never see it again but here...
"No," the entity raises one of Loki's eyebrows mockingly and it is so wrong to see such a thing from her son's face, "but for some reason he wanted us to meet."
"May I ask who you are?"
The voice is feminine but not shy. It is not kind but hostile either. Who is this that has taken residence within her son's body and that her son would allow to do so. Why did he not say anything?!
"You may."
Gold eyes bore into her, judging her. Like before. These are those same eyes. Is this a Norn? Did the ritual somehow trap one within her Loki? She shivers at the implication and the complication it would have on Asgard.
"Who are you?"
She does not know if she has to the right to command but she is the Queen of Asgard. She must try.
"Oh?" A cold smile stretches its way across her son's lips. "And who are you to command me to answer?"
Frigga doubts her title of Queen means anything here so she discards it quickly.
"I am Loki's mother-"
"Are you?" The entity cuts her off. The questions startles her and for a second too long she is silent. "What have you done that would allow you to lay such a claim, hmm?"
"I nursed him and have cared for him. I love him. Loki is my son."
Frigga struggles not to stand, to tower over the being sharing Loki's body but her voice cracks at the end.
"But neither you or your husband," Gold eyes darken and its voice drips with disdain, "have done anything about the rumors he hears. You have done nothing to comfort him in the face of Asgard's judgement or prejudice. You have made many mistakes Frigga Fjorgydottir..."
The mention of her father stills the very air in her lungs. Her control slips and it is clear the entity approved of her horror and her fear. It is amused by it.
"...not as much as Odin of Asgard, Son of Bestla. He who will instigate and will Ragnarok upon the realm. I supposed you should glad for that. But what will you do now, I wonder."
It pauses, expecting something from her but she cannot find it within her to speak, to act. No one moves for fear of bringing attention to themselves but there can be no question that this entity must be a Norn. It must be and it is trapped in the body of a child. After another second passes, the Norn becomes obviously annoyed with the Queen.
"Inaction is perhaps the greatest mistake of all**." the Norn glares at her, unimpressed and unapologetic. "I suggest you remember that."
It turns, still in command of her son's body, and walks out. Frigga starts to gasp for air once the being is out of sight and tumbles from her seat. The flower in her hand suddenly lights up and a relaxing aroma fills the area around her.
But try as she might Frigga can find no peace in its soothing warmth.