Scott is way too excited for this.
He definitely catches on, from the body language and heavy silence in the car, that this is supposed to be way more serious than he’s acting like. Falcon and the Badass Dude With A Metal Arm are super quiet during the entire ride, and they exchange meaningful looks every time Scott asks a dumb question, so he can tell they’re regretting the whole thing already. Before they get out, Falcon holds his arm and reminds him that doing this means going to war with 117 countries, and Scott tries to play it cool, nodding as an answer.
Still, when he jumps out of the car and lands his eyes on Captain America, in the flesh, standing in front of him to shake his hand, Scott forgets any attempt to be cool. He shakes his hand too much, babbles a bit and manages to hold himself back just enough to avoid saying anything like “I used to have underwear with your name in it”. In Scott’s opinion, it’s a success.
And after everything goes down, when Cap breaks them out and they end up on some shady hotel in the middle of nowhere, after calling Hope and Luis to tell them he’s alright, Scott catches a look Captain gives him when he’s stripping out of the suit and, well. It’s… An interesting look.
It’s quick, but Scott feels himself smiling, and he asks “What’s up, Cap?” before he can think much about what’s happening.
“Call me Steve." He says, blushing slightly, and, wow. That’s definitely worth going to war against 117 countries for.
“You’re out of your mind.” Hope’s voice comes through the line.
“Hey! I’m trying to do this the right way here.” Scott says, looking around to make sure no one is listening.
“How so?” Hope asks, and she seems to be having way too much fun with the conversation, so Scott sighs.
“You know, like… Communicating. Talking. Giving you the heads-up.”
“You’re giving me the heads-up that you might bang Captain America?”
“Well, kind of.” And yep, Hope is definitely smiling now. “I mean, I know we talked before and it’s not like, an exclusive thing between us, but… I, I just don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, ok?”
Hope laughs. Her laughter echoes through the line, raspy and beautiful, and Scott’s heart takes a leap on his chest. He feels that weird good feeling in his stomach, the one people usually call butterflies, but he’s pretty sure on his case should be ants. “Scott, part of me thinks you’re full of shit, but another part of me wants to ask you to record it.”
“Really? Because I can-“
“Don’t. Honestly, I don’t know why you’re calling me for this...” Then she pauses for a second, as if she’s thinking, and her voice sounds more serious. “Scott, please, don’t tell me you’re trying to pick up war hero and national icon Captain America with a “it’s not gay if it’s a three-way” line.”
Scott gasps, because he’s totally not with this image on his head now, and it’s totally not making his mouth water a little. “No, no! I just, I don’t know if this is going to happen, ok? But if it does happen, I want to know how you would feel about it.”
“How would I feel if you banged Captain America?” Hope pauses for a second, as if she’s really thinking. “Scott, there’s no way he was checking you out.”
“Hey! I know when someone checks me out, ok? I knew when you did, and I know it now.”
Hope sighs. She’s probably blushing now, which makes Scott smile. “Fine. To be completely honest,” She says, now in a definitely amused voice. “I’d probably give you a high-five.”
So Hope is cool with it. Scott is, honestly, more than cool with it, watching Cap - Steve talk to everyone else in the team in a way he can only hope is not too transparent. Then Steve comes to talk to him, and, yeah, Scott is not crazy, Steve’s eyes linger on his arms way longer than strictly necessary. He is so going to rub this on Hope’s face later.
“So what I mean is, I don’t think we’ll be staying here much longer.” Steve says, and Scott realizes there was probably an important explanation there he missed. He nods and Steve looks at him with those insanely blue eyes. Scott forces himself to focus on the stuff he’s saying now. “Nat said she’s going to have your paperwork figured out soon.”
“Oh, that’s great!” Scott says, grinning, and he can tell Steve wasn’t expecting such a chipper reaction, but he smiles back anyway.
“Yes, I guess it is.” He lowers his head for a minute, seeming to think, before looking at Scott again. “Mr. Lang, I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done.” His voice is serious but honest, and his eyes stare straight into Scott’s, looking at him like there’s nothing more important in the world than what he's done. Scott feels a burst of pride on his chest, and right now he really, really gets why people followed this guy in a war.
“Hey, I call you Steve, you call me Scott, right?” He says, raising both hands. “And there’s no need to sweat it, man, really. I mean, working with Captain America! I never thought I’d have the chance to do something like that.”
Steve’s smile fades, and Scott sees a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. He doesn’t get what he did wrong. “You will need to lay low for a while. Probably for a long time, really.”
Scott nods. “I figured.” Steve nods back, as if the conversation is over, but Scott really can’t deal with the look on Steve’s face right now. And when Scott can’t deal with stuff, he babbles. That’s just the way things are. “I have a lot of experience with laying low, you know. I used to steal things, and, obviously, you have to be discreet for this kind of job. Then I went to jail, and, after I got out, I started to, like, steal stuff for good? Uh, I mean, I only stole one thing, and it was definitely a thing that needed to be stolen so World War Three didn’t happen, so.” Steve just stares at him like he’s crazy, but Scott is on a roll now, he can’t stop. “Uh, anyway, point is, I’m good at laying low. Especially now, I guess.” He grins, even though Steve is still looking at him like he’s just grown a second head. “Maybe I’ll spend some time at the anthill in my backyard. Could be a fun vacation.”
Steve stares at him for a moment. Then he laughs, a low, raspy laugh that sounds like he hasn’t done that in a while. “Sounds like a fun idea, Scott.” He says.
The ants in Scott’s stomach throw a party.
“Bro, that’s the dopest thing I’ve ever heard!” Luis practically shrieks at him on the phone, and Scott grins because fuck yeah, that’s the reaction he was looking for.
“I know, I know.” Scott says, shuffling the old iPod the Black Widow gave him. There’s not much to do at the hotel while they wait, and, since they can’t go out under any circumstances, each one of them gets something to entertain themselves with for a while. Scott thinks she’s given him the iPod as a compensation for sorting out Hawkeye’s paperwork first. He wonders if she’s going to kill him if he starts calling her Nat.
“Are you going to date him? Are you guys going to bang? Holy shit, Scott, you’re gonna bang Captain America!”
“Ok, I really need you to be discreet about this, Luis.” Scott says, and it’s like he can see Luis frantically nodding in front of him.
“No doubt, no doubt, bro. I’m gonna keep this real quiet.” There’s a moment of silence before he asks: “But are you going to, like, come on to him?”
That’s a good question, and something Scott hasn’t figured out the answer for yet. “I don’t know.” He fiddles with the iPod a little. There’s only like six songs in it, and Scott has totally not been listening to Star-Spangled Man non-stop for the past three hours.
“Bro, he’s Captain America. You need to bring your A game, dawg.” Luis says. “Plus, you need to play it cool, because he’s too used to people swooning over him all the time.”
“That… That actually makes sense.”
“So go for it, straight up. Take control. Don’t let him see you’re struggling!” He pauses for a moment. “Also, by the way, bro, do you think he’d mind if you recorded it? Because that’d be mad money!”
It takes a while for Scott to talk Luis out of the whole “sex tape with a national icon” angle. Still, his advice echoes in Scott’s mind, and, to his own surprise, he thinks it’s a solid idea. Steve must have people fawning themselves over him all the time, so maybe being direct and acting like hooking up with superheroes is something he’s just totally used to doing is the best approach.
That’s the logic that drives Scott to walk all the way to Steve’s door, in the middle of the night, praying none of the others see him. He takes a deep breath, stretches a little (which, yeah, presumptuous, but Luis is right, it’s Captain America, he can’t be caught off guard) and knocks.
Steve opens the door looking puzzled, wearing a white shirt and sweatpants that makes Scott’s mouth go dry, and also leads him to think he was probably preparing to go to bed. “Scott?”
"Hey." Scott says, giving him what he hopes is his most charming smile. Steve smiles back, apparently as a reflex, and he feels almost dizzy. He had seen many Captain America pictures before, but none of them accurately conveyed his shy grin or his flushed face or the sparkle in his blue eyes. It’s incredible, and Scott is all over it.
Which means he probably needs to think his next move carefully. Which he’s never good at doing.
“So, are you going to invite me in?” He asks. Steve raises his eyebrows slightly, but lets him in and closes the door behind them.
“Uh, is something going on?” Steve asks, and Scott takes a deep breath before turning to face him. Steve smooths his t-shirt absent-mindedly, and the way his muscles move in that way-too-tight fabric makes all the ants in Scott’s stomach form a conga line singing a chorus of USA! USA! USA!.
“You tell me.” Scott says, taking a step forward and crossing his arms. Steve’s eyes widen, and fuck, Scott has never seen anything so blue in his life. Play it cool, Luis’s voice echoes in his head, so he keeps talking. “You’ve been watching me a lot lately, Captain.”
Steve blushes, and he looks almost guilty, which is almost too much for Scott to bear. “I-I, uh… I didn’t mean to…”
“Not that it’s a problem.” Scott says, aware that he sounds more eager than he means to, but fuck it. “Actually, if you want to, I think you can see a lot more.” He says, and damn, he sounds like the protagonist of a cheap erotic novel, even Hope would roll her eyes at this one. But Steve seems startled, so Scott guesses he must be doing something right.
They’re so close now that Scott can feel the heat coming from his body, can smell the cheap shampoo from the hotel’s bathroom, can see the way his blonde lashes curl above his ridiculously blue eyes - and well, when Steve takes a hesitating step and leans forward, Scott’s already hard. “C-Can I?” He asks, and before Scott’s brain can make him blurt out the fuckyespleasedefinitely mess that’s going through his head in a loop, Steve kisses him.
It’s… Soft. Steve’s lips are kind and careful, nothing like what Scott had imagined, but enough to make him cling to him like his life depends on it. Steve kisses him in a shy, almost chivalrous way, and Scott is unable to think anymore, so he just opens his mouth to let their tongues touch in a hot, messy encounter that makes him forget how to breathe.
“Damn.“ He mutters, when Steve breaks the kiss to get some air, feeling his body against his own. “I didn’t know that would work so well.”
Steve laughs, but it’s kind of a shaky laugh that makes Scott pause for a moment. Then he feels Steve’s hands on his hips shaking.
“Uh, are you sure about this?”
Steve’s eyes widen. “What?”
“You know, this.” Scott gestures nervously, putting some space between the two of them so he can think a little more clearly. “Because it’s cool if you don’t want to do anything.”
Steve stutters. “I-I. I thought you came here for…”
“Well, yeah, I kinda did, but-“
“You’re right, I was staring-“
“Hey, hey, I know.” Scott says, and Steve looks at him for a moment, face all flushed from the kiss, and he almost loses track of his thoughts. “And I’m totally cool with your staring – actually, I’m more than cool, stare away, stare as much as you want to.” He babbles, and Steve smiles slightly. “But we don’t have to do anything. We can, like, just make out. Or - or talk. Or I can go back to my room and we pretend this never happened for the rest of our days. You know. If you want to.”
Steve freezes for a second, as if he’s thinking. Then he smiles again, and this time it’s an honest smile that makes Scott feels like he could float. “I’m sure.” He says, and his fist grabs Scott’s shirt to pull him closer, kissing him again. It’s still a bit clumsy, but it’s certain and deep and such a strong kiss Scott doesn’t even think before holding Steve against him, his hands caressing his back muscles all the way to his hips.
He pulls Steve’s shirt up slightly, not wanting to go too far, but Steve grins against his mouth and pushes him away for a moment to pull the shirt off himself, and, wow. Scott was probably able to form coherent human words at some point in time before, but now he can’t remember how. He throws himself against Steve, his mouth pressing against his like he needs to kiss him for air and-
“Sorry! Sorry!” Steve says, pushing him. “I, I can’t do this.”
Fuck, Scott thinks, and not in the obvious way he was mentally begging a second before. He’s not sure of why or how, but, as he watches Steve take a step back, breathless and flushed, he’s pretty sure he fucked everything up.
Steve turns his back to him and sits on the bed, his head on his hands, and Scott feels like crap. He doesn’t move, because he’s not sure of what to do. Then Steve looks at him, and a part of Scott wants to run away and pretend this never happened, but he feels like he should say something.
“Hey, don’t apologize. It’s totally fine, man, don’t…”
“It’s not that I don’t want it.” Steve says, and, ok, now Scott really doesn’t get what’s happening. “It’s just… I’m not…” He gestures aimlessly, looking away. “I’m not used to this.”
Oh. Oh.
Scott stands there for a moment, like a complete idiot, as it dawns on him that apparently, regardless of everyone in the world probably being willing to teach him, Captain America is not really used to the concept of casual sex. Which means he’s probably not used to people knocking on his door in the middle of the night to get some. Which means – and Scott now feels like the dumbest person in the universe – that Steve’s really nervous right now.
That’s… That’s super cute, actually, and it makes Scott’s heart feel like it’s going to explode, but before he can summon back one-fifth of his brain to at least attempt say something, Steve continues.
“I, um, I have been staring at you. I didn’t think you’d notice it.” Steve scratches the back of his head, looking at the floor. “And… Seeing you here, I mean, I never thought you’d actually… You know.” He says, and his voice is honest and shy. Scott’s chest tightens. “But I don’t usually, I mean, I never do anything like… This.”
“Me neither.” Scott blurts out. “I wanted to look cool, you know, and I guess I thought someone like you, you’d be…”
“Someone like me.” Steve repeats, and there’s that sadness again, shit, why does that keep happening?
“Uh, yeah. You know, like…”
“Like Captain America.” Steve says, and it looks like it’s physically painful for him to say the name. Then he sighs, putting his head in his hands again. “Sorry. It’s not your fault, but I just…” He pauses for a moment. “I hate when people do that.”
“What?”
“It’s-It’s just… Sometimes I still can’t feel like it’s my body.” He looks nervous but eager, like he’s blurting out something important, so Scott doesn’t interrupt. “I mean, I don’t know, it’s not anyone’s fault, but… But Captain America is way bigger than me, you know? And, in a situation like this, like, with you, even if I want to, I can’t help but think that, well, it’s – it’s as if anyone can notice it at any moment. And I don’t – I can’t let anyone down.” He runs a hand over his face. “And I like you, but you’re… You’re going to see it eventually, and I can’t deal with that. I’ve screwed up with a lot of people lately, and I didn’t want to add another name to the list. Everything is such a mess.” He says, and Scott notices for the first time how damn tired the guy looks. He looks like he could use a night of sleep, or five.
There’s a moment of silence. “God, Scott, I’m sorry.” Steve says. “I shouldn’t be dumping this stuff all over you, I don’t know what I’m thinking.”
“Hey, hey, don’t worry!” Scott answers. He takes a step towards the bed, looking at Steve. His shoulders hunch forward, like he wants to curl up in a ball and disappear, and that’s something Scott does know a thing or two about.
He looks at Steve and tries not to think about Captain America, the hero he used to hear bedtime stories about. Instead, he looks at Steve Rogers – the handsome, brave, badass guy he spent the last months following. For Scott, they’re clearly the same person, but he can see how Steve doesn’t think that.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” Steve says immediately, and Scott can’t help but smile a little, even if he doesn’t smile back. “But I can’t… I don’t know what I want.”
“Ok.” A pause. “Can I sit next to you?”
Steve stares at him for a moment. “Yeah.”
“Cool.” Scott says, stepping forward and sitting next to Steve, careful not to get too in his personal space. “Uh, do you want to lay down?”
“What?”
“You know, like. On the bed.” Steve blinks at him, so Scott gestures at the bed behind them, as if to illustrate the point. “You seem tired, man.” Then he lays down himself, and, thankfully, Steve follows him, laying towards him with a still puzzled look on his face.
“Ok, so.” Scott starts, and Steve’s eyes are fixated on his now. “I get it. I mean, no, I totally don’t get what’s going on here, I’m pretty sure the Falcon must have told you that.” This gets a tiny smile out of Steve, so Scott knows he’s on the right track. He raises his hand slowly, giving Steve all the time in the world to push him back before resting on his shoulder, caressing slightly and moving up to Steve’s neck. Steve blushes, but lets him, and Scott wraps his other arm against his waist, pulls him closer, letting his head rest on Scott’s chest, and, yup, he’s cuddling with Captain America. “But, um. You can relax, ok? Like, the world doesn’t end if you take a break for a moment.”
Steve laughs, a muffled laugh against his neck that sends a shiver down Scott’s spine. He forces himself to focus.
“I’m, um, new to this superhero thing. But I have a daughter, her name’s Cassie - she’s super cute, I’ll show you a picture sometime – and, uh, she looks at me like I’m the greatest hero ever. Sometimes it’s great, but other times it freaks me out. Like, I want to warn her I’m not that great. Just so she doesn’t find out on her own.” His voice shakes a bit, and he can feel Steve’s eyes on him, so he focus very firmly on the ceiling. “And I can’t… I can’t imagine what it’s like to have this with the entire world, you know? I mean, yeah, obviously, you know, that’s the entire point of this talk.” Another laugh. That’s enough encouragement for him. “But I realized I needed to try to be that for Cassie, even if I don’t think I am, just so she can believe it’s possible. And then, I don’t know, I guess it becomes possible because I’m doing it? And I think the same works for you, too.” He risks a look at Steve, and the bright, wide blue eyes that stare back almost makes him lose track. “I see you doing stuff for everyone all the time. Like, the witch girl, she never smiles at anyone else. And the Falcon and the guy with the metal arm, they have jokes behind your back sometimes, about the way you use your phone – but they’re still here, and I don’t think there’s anywhere else they’d rather be. And even me, you – you checked on me like three times after the battle and you don’t even know me that well.” He feels the weight of Steve’s head on his shoulder, and he touches his hair absently. It’s thin hair, almost a bit rugged, like hair that doesn’t get treated enough would be. Scott smiles. “And, and… I don’t know, I think you’re pretty great. Like, in your head you might not be as great as Captain America, but at the end of the day the only reason anyone thinks Captain America is great is because of you.” A pause. “I don’t really get what’s going on with Stark, but if you care that much, he’s probably great too. And I think you’re both going to sort this out.” Another pause, this time longer, and Scott wonders if he went too far, but, well, now it’s too late. “So, um, I don’t really know how to wrap this up? But I, I think it’s going to be okay.”
There’s a moment of silence, and Scott hopes he didn’t fuck up too much, but when he looks down there's the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen staring right back at him.
“Thank you.” Steve says, and he sounds almost peaceful, his body now totally relaxed against Scott’s. It’s even more amazing than Scott had thought this night would be.
“You’re totally welcome.” Scott answers, trying not to swoon too much, not right after he just tried to talk a super legend out of some serious impostor syndrome. “And, honestly, I bet you were pretty hot before, too.” He babbles, and Steve stares at him and fuck he should not have said that. “Like, I don’t know. It’s hard being ugly with a face like yours.”
Steve laughs, blushing slightly. Then he just looks at Scott with those stunning eyes. “I think Ant-Man is great too.” He says, and Scott wants to have those words recorded, put in a loop and turned into his theme song.
“Thanks.“ Scott says, breathlessly, and there’s a hint of playfulness in Steve’s smile now.
“You’re totally welcome.” He says, raising his head towards Scott’s and kissing him.
The ants in his stomach share a collective high-five.