Long taking relationship

I run to him and hug him immediately. Or more like running him over. He has to drop everything to the floor, couldn’t close the door. It is a miracle he does not fall to the ground with me. He hugs me tight and doesn’t let go as I want to break to kiss him. He just whispers to my ear “I missed you so much”. That is the best he could have said. It is even turning me on, boy it has been long since we have been together the last time or these are some pregnancy things. Finally he lets go of me so I can kiss him. I don’t want to let go of him but he breaks the kiss. His fingers wandering through my hair, he starts smiling and asks: “What do I smell? Have you cooked?” the Scottish accent in his voice calms and excites me. I lead him to our dining room and leave his luggage and the coat on the floor. (priorities  ).
As he enters the room his face shows signs, joy and wonder. In front of him is our dining table with lit candles, his presents and the best dishes we have. I hand him a glass of sparkling vine. Luckily I had the glasses marked so I know which one has alcohol in it and which one doesn’t. He looks funny but we toast on us and drink a bit. I leave him in the dining room to get the food that is still on the stove in the kitchen. His attention had already shifted to the presents surrounding his plate. As I return he was carefully shaking present number two. He looks at me “What are those, honey?”. “Little gifts, I found them to be quite fitting for you . But come on let us eat first!” I know it will drive him crazy not to know what is in one of these and to have to sit next to them will be a bit like torture. Don’t judge me  leave me a little playful joy and I might be punished later anyway, if you know what I mean ;P. He does not stop arguing with me why he is not allowed to open up one of these. Finally I give in and let him open the first one.
“Is this my book? Where did you find it?” he asks. The question is filled with joy and sadness. “I am sorry but it is not yours, I was at your grandma’s but couldn’t find it either. But the antique shop down the road, you know the one I sometimes shop in, had just acquired this book. He told me about it and I remembered that you loved that book when you were a child and how sad you still are that you can’t find it anymore. So I bought it and thought I might surprise you with it.” He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and doesn’t know what to say. Imagine that James Mcavoy has nothing to say. This is more than I had in mind as I bought it. I knew it meant a lot to him, but I think I could not imagine how much. But strike the first gift he likes, even more and without growing suspicious. So the gift concerning his childhood: check.
“Are you up for eating, now?”. “Yeah sure honey, I am starving.” He says, while looking at the first pages of the book. “James, how about you read it to… me… after dinner?” Phew I nearly blew it and said us. Focus Jamie, focus. “That is a great idea” he puts it away and now eying the others.
I put the sleeping pills in between our two childhood presents because I thought it might make the emotional part a little less and he doesn’t find out too early. After a few canapes he usually enjoys he keeps on eyeing the presents while making casual conversation with me. I give in again because I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out and I want to know his reaction. So he opens the second present and looks funny: “Why do you wrap sleeping pills. I mean thank you of course, I ran out of mine by now but why?”. Shit that is a well-considered question I wasn’t prepared to answer. “ I was wrapping up the other gifts anyway and I thought it might be funny to unwrap it as well.”. I feel like he is not buying it completely but he starts laughing. “Thank you, honey”. I get up and prepare the first real dish. That was close, I think. Two times I stumbled. I grow tensed as well. First of all I want him to know and I really can’t wait for him to realise he is going to be a dad. But on the other hand what if he thinks it is not the right time or something like it. His career is at his highest point so far and it is still rising. I put the meal on the table and smile on the man who is inquiring the other gifts.
“Have these been your shoes, the ones you told me about?”. “Yes I want you to have them in your car, as a good luck charm.” Next to the part of dropping hints I really want him to have these in his car as a good luck charm. A few months ago he had a minor car accident, nothing serious just a tiny concussion but I was scared. The hospital had called me and I drove to the ER. They hadn’t told me how serious it was so like the woman I am, I imagined the worst case scenario. I cannot tell you how relieved I was as I saw him arguing with the doctor on how long he should stay in the hospital and how necessary the painkillers would be. As he saw me, with a puffy, red face, he stopped talking immediately. I couldn’t touch him, I thought I might break something or hurt him even more. I couldn’t listen to the doctor who as James told me later, had just tried to calm me down. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t I had just sat down next to him and stared at him. I know it wasn’t anything serious but it came out of nowhere and considering the time we have wasted not calling each other… It was just terrifying and I think that there are no real words to describe you know what it felt like to me. Remembering that call now I still get chills and at the same time I get angry that I overreacted about a simple concussion. You might think I am crazy and I think when it comes to him I definitely am. Anyhow, that is why I wanted him to have them. I called my mum and asked her to find them and send them to me and luckily she did.
“Honey thank you so much, they are so cute and tiny. I can’t believe your feet fit into these. I will hang them in the windshield next time I drive.“ he smiles. He gets up, approaches me and kisses me. I didn’t want to break it this time either. But the next curse awaits. So I break the kiss get up myself, tell him to sit down again and grab the plates from the first meal. BTW, it is pumpkin soup, the kind my father used to cook and somehow it grew onto James as I made it one autumn. “Can I open the next present now?” He asks.
“No!” I laugh
“Ok!” he acts pouting and the good actor he is he succeeds unlike me earlier.
It is time for the dessert. I know he loves several desserts so I made various. Pudding, ice cream (yes we have an ice cream maker), cheese cake and chocolate mouse. His eyes light up:” OMG, are you kidding me, you didn’t have to do this, Jamie this is way too much, thank you honey.” He says the last sentence with the spoon full of ice cream. So you have a picture in your mind on how much he loves ice cream. He eats fast. I try not to reveal how anxious I grow, but again I fail. He has nearly eaten up and looks at me with his eyes full of joy. “Honey are you ok?” he asks with a frown. “Yes sure, I am just happy that you are back and that you enjoy the evening so far.” “So far? I think there is nothing to ruin this evening, love”. He has finished his meal and hold my hand which is now shaking. “Honey?” “Just open up the last present, James, please” I ask my voice a bit shaky. I don’t know if I can watch him unravel the secret or not. HE opens the present and unfolds the shirt.
Quiet. I don’t know for how long. I have tears in my eyes. His eyes are still roaming the shirt I think. I don’t know the shirt is hanging between his face and mine. Like a curtain.
The curtain falls.