And the Time the Avengers Took Care of Darcy
Darcy wasn't sure what had started things. There were some things that she knew would set off a bad reaction of nightmares, insomnia, shaking hands, nausea, and headaches. For instance, she hated puddles. As a child, she had admired their window-like quality. They were charming reflections of the sky, her face, a tree branch. Now still, reflective puddles reminded Darcy too much of portals. She was careful not to look down into them after a rainy day.
Darcy could still enjoy rain, her favorite weather. She just tipped her head back and watched the tiny drops falling onto her face. Since her bonding with Thor, she also loved thunder and lightning. She thought of thunder with the fondness she had for Thor's booming laugh and lightning like his protective streak. Darcy just did not look down. She was resilient and she had learned to cope with what triggers she had identified. The problem was, there were just some times when she couldn't anticipate a trigger before it happened.
When Thor needed to go off world for a mission assigned by the All-Father, he wanted someone else to continue her training. Since he was aware of her history, he knew she wasn't ready for Natasha and Clint's style of training just yet. Instead he talked to Steve about working with Darcy for a few weeks. Darcy liked and mostly trusted Steve. They were familiar with each other's bodies in only the way long standing dance partners could be. It still wasn't the same as with Thor. Thor was her brother, a bond she felt in her bones, and she (literally pretty much) worshiped him. Steve was also muscular and significantly larger than her. This wasn't a problem for the first week or so of their training.
Steve was not familiar with swords, so he had offered to start working on her hand to hand skills. For the first week, they worked on form. Darcy already had a fair grasp of the balance of her stance from her work with Thor. This meant it didn't take her long to find a stance that worked for her for this type of fighting. After that, Steve worked on teaching her the mechanics of a few types of punches. Then they worked on stringing them together into combinations. Both of these were done using a variety of punching bags. Steve wasn't as fun to train with as Thor, but he still joked with her and encouraged her. Darcy also made good use of their joint playlist through Jarvis, making sure it was pumped through the speakers of the gym from start to finish. The trouble came when Steve got a glint in his eye the second week.
"Whaddaya say to a go in the ring, Darce? Want to dance?" Steve cocked an eyebrow her way where she was panting beside the heavy bag. They were nearly to the end of the lesson. She eyed the traditional ring in the center of Steve's preferred gym. It had a springy floor and red ropes around the edges.
"Why not," she yelled to him, wandering over for a slurp from her water bottle. She strapped her gloves back on and headed into the ring where Steve already had punching mitts on. She swung between the top two ropes and lined up with Steve in her stance. He talked her through the correct way to shift her feet for this kind of fighting. It was kind of like dancing and they quickly found a rhythm between the two of them. Then Steve had her start with the basic 1-2-3 or left, right, hook pattern that he had drilled her on the most. The moves were already starting to feel familiar and Darcy enjoyed the sharp pops of a good hit when she caught the mitts with a solid punch. However, her comfort with the new drill was apparently what Steve was looking for. Suddenly he went from unassuming to looming. He took up all the space that his tall, muscular frame would allow and started stepping with purpose.
Pretty immediately, Darcy recognized that Steve was herding her into a corner as a test of her skills. She knew Steve was her friend and he would never actually hurt her. Darcy's body was another matter. It remembered all the times she'd been backed into a corner before and how that had ended for her. It recognized Steve's body language and adrenaline started pumping through her veins. She could feel her heart racing and her palms starting to sweat. She fought to keep her panic off her face, and she must have succeeded. Steve continued as he was for another three sets before complimenting her and clapping her on the shoulder. Darcy managed to flinch only minutely. Clint, Natasha, or Thor would have caught the flinch. Steve, bless his heart, was chattering on about which location they'd be hitting up Friday. Darcy choked back the half formed thought aimed at Thor. She didn't want to distract him for something so minor when he could be in the middle of battle.
Darcy kept herself together through her cool down routine with Steve. She walked into the women's locker room afterwards long enough to gather her clothes. She then counted to sixty to give Steve and his super soldier hearing time to climb in the shower. Then she booked for her apartment, shaking and sweating but somehow cold. She locked her door. "Jarvis," she breathed quietly, "I'm not doing so great dude. Play my Chill Out List? Loud as you can. And for the time being, divert anybody from coming into my quarters. I need some breathing space." Her playlist clicked on softly as soon as she finished.
"Anything else I can do to assist you, Darcy?" Jarvis asked her, sounding worried.
"I'll let you know, J," Darcy told him.
The AI cranked the volume when their conversation was over. Darcy let the thumping music drown out her thoughts and slowly stripped to climb into the shower. The water steamed hot enough to turn her skin red, but couldn't stop her faint shaking. Darcy scrubbed the sweat from her workout and her fear from her body, then stood under the water for awhile. She tried to lose herself in the music and the water, but scenes from her past played behind her eyes. She eventually gave up and climbed out. She got into her comfiest clothes, wrapping them around her like armor. She had soft, worn purple cotton underthings. Then her favorite pair of most worn in jeans. they were starting to fray and get holes. Then an AC/DC shirt she had stolen out of the communal laundry. She was pretty sure it was either Tony's or Clint's. She then layered two sweaters, one a lumpy oatmeal colored grampa sweater and the other thick and dark green. She gave her hair a quick braid. Her head was already starting to pound and a ponytail would just make it worse. She and Steve had had a midday workout. She should probably head back down to the labs.
Jane was gone with Thor, but she was still riding herd on Banner and Stark. If she left the "science bros" alone too long they would explode something. When she got down to the labs, Tony was clearly entrenched in his work. He was literally elbow deep into mechanical parts and mumbling to himself. Banner had retreated to his private lab so she started with him. Of all her scientists, Banner was the easiest to work with. He was the most responsible about eating, sleeping, and bathing. He had once explained to her that it was one of the ways he maintained his "little green problem." If he took good care of himself, the Hulk had less reason to come out. Darcy privately thought this must mean that the Hulk was sort of like her. Unobtrusive until needed, but definitely protective and a caretaker.
This meant that Darcy helped out in a fairly normal way for Bruce. She transcribed his notes, helped keep the lab tidy and databases organized. Basically, she was a regular intern for Banner. He wasn't as high maintenance as Tony and Jane, but most interns were too frightened of his alter-ego to work with him. Darcy found his presence soothing. He exuded a sort of zen peace and control. She knew he had some pretty deep-seated issues with self-hatred and feeling like he didn't deserve to be loved. Darcy could empathize. Bruce seemed like he had gotten over the worst of those things through a caring and persistent friendship with Tony, much like the one Darcy had with Thor. She would never guess that inner turmoil from his outer demeanor though. Bruce was probably the most enlightened person she had ever met.
Darcy exchanged greetings with Bruce, but he was distracted with a project of his own. She left him to it and started typing up his latest pile of notes-a stack of scribbled on napkins, receipts, ripped out book pages with notes in the margin, and a few post-its. He had the others' bad habits, he just was kind enough to keep his genius scribbles in a tidy pile for her so she didn't have to scavenge the lab every day. She stared at the screen but kept zoning out. She also had to keep editing things she had already typed because her unsteady hands kept hammering out typos. She was blowing out a frustrated sigh when Bruce sat a mug of his favorite organic, loose leaf chamomile tea in front of her. "That obvious, huh?" Darcy asked. Bruce grinned at her, but said nothing while he sipped from his own mug. Darcy wasn't sure why, but tears started streaming down her face while she sipped at her own.
Bruce wasn't terribly alarmed, but rubbed her back in nice soothing circles while she shook with sobs. He led her over to his couch and got her settled in with her tea and sat beside her. She found herself crying into his sympathetic shoulder while he leaned his chin on the top of her head. Exhausted from all the emotion, Darcy must have fallen asleep there because the next thing she knew, she was screaming herself awake.
Darcy's eyes flew open and she bolted upright from where she'd been slouched. She shied back into the couch as she caught that someone was knelt in front of her. As her brain gradually came back online, she realized that the person in front of her was Bruce. She was grateful that it seemed he'd been kneeling to try to talk her awake instead of touching her in some way to do it. She also realized that his eyes were rather radioactively green instead of their usual soft brown. She took several startled, frightened breaths which were a stark counterpoint to his deliberately calm ones.
"Are you okay, Darcy?" Bruce asked her in a voice only slightly more gravelly than his usual one. She took a second to take stock. Her heartbeat was gradually slowing. She was also covered in a soft grey afghan that smelled comfortingly of oil and garage. She was at the heart of her new family's fortress.
"I'm okay," Darcy hesitated but she'd rather know how much she had given away, "Did I just scream, or did I say anything else in my sleep?"
The green in Banner's eyes darkened and he hesitated before replying, "You were begging." He looked furious. All of a sudden Darcy was very much not comfortable. She started trying to stand up.
"I'm so sorry you heard that, I will get out of your way. I'm sorry for distracting you," Darcy apologized. She could feel her cheeks turning bright red so she kept her head down.
Instead of getting out of her way, Bruce sighed and slumped onto the couch she had just vacated. "Darcy, please sit, you didn't do anything wrong and I'm not mad at you," Bruce told her. His eyes were still green but he sounded like Bruce again. "I'm always angry remember?" he joked.
Darcy meekly sat down but still couldn't meet his eyes. She had Tony's afghan bunched in her fists.
"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to. Just know that I really care for you. You've really helped turn this tower into a home instead of just a base of operations. The Hulk and I both appreciate what that means. Both of us were angry at the idea somebody has hurt you," Bruce told her. Darcy fidgeted more, she wasn't sure what to say. "Also, I'm no stranger to screaming nightmares," Bruce told her, and she finally looked up to share a sad grin with him.
"Want to have a movie night tonight? You can pick the movie? I'll even make homemade curry," Bruce asked. She was grateful for the change of subject.
"That would be great!" Darcy said.
At this, they separated so Bruce could start cooking and Darcy could change into movie night clothes. When she got to the common room, it was filled with the delicious spicy scents of the curry on the stove. Darcy had Doctor Hermione clutched under one arm, and she claimed Thor and Jane's couch. It was bigger than all the others to accommodate the Asguardian. While Darcy was stuffing herself on Bruce's delicious curry, the other members of the team who were in residence gradually filed in. Instead of sitting on his own seat like he usually did, Bruce was tucked up against her side. They chatted about Dr. Who and their various theories. She had already filed her movie choice with Jarvis beforehand, and everyone knew better than to argue once Darcy had let Jarvis know. He showed a clear preference and his retribution for questioning Darcy's choice could be vicious. Jarvis' pranks made Tony and Clint look like amateurs. Tony and Pepper took their usual seat. Steve was sitting at their feet. Natasha and Clint were not back from a day of training new recruits at Shield yet.
Darcy must have drifted off partway through the movie. She wasn't even sure what movie they were on as she was pretty sure they were on the second or third choice of the night judging by the light or lack thereof coming from the kitchen. She must have been crying in her sleep because her beloved unicorn was damp. Her toes were tucked under Bruce's thigh, and her head was pillowed on a familiar slim thigh. Natasha's fingers were running absently through her hair. Steve had an arm casually thrown behind his head, but he had his fingers laced with hers hidden between the pillow he was leaning against and Doc Herm's horned head. That was an angle impossible for anyone but a supersoldier not to complain about, but she knew he'd never say a word even if his arm was cramping. She was cozy and warm and had once again been tucked under Tony's afghan. She could also feel Clint's perpetually cold feet shoved behind her back where he was perching on the back of the couch. She could hear Bruce scolding Tony for his commentary on the movie, Tony's responses, and Pepper's soft laughter. Apparently Tony and Pepper were squeezed in next to Bruce.
We will be back soon, little lightning sister. Until then, know that Frigga has graced you with sweet dreams for the rest of the fortnight, as a sign of her favor on my decision to make you my sister. That was new, she didn't realize Thor could reply to her prayers. But Darcy was beyond awed to be granted Frigga's blessing, and that her brother had somehow known that she needed him.
Darcy closed her eyes and let the pain in her heart ebb. She was safe. She was loved. She was home.