To be honest, Bucky didn't even realize what day it was till Shuri came barreling into his room with a chocolate cake and the words “Happy Birthday old man!” with the block 101 candles on top.
Back when he was younger, they never really celebrated. Yeah, his Ma would bake up a cake, but it was rare for him to get any sort of presents from anybody because money was hard enough as it was.
That’s why it nearly brings Bucky to tears when Shuri hands him a neatly wrapped gift with the tag addressed to White Wolf. Bucky rolls his eyes, Shuri reminds him so much of Becca that it makes his heart ache so much. Now that he is finally getting his memories back, he sees so much of his sister in her, the way she tries to make Bucky’s life a living hell being the most memorable thing.
“You didn't have to get me anything,” he mutters. “You have already done so much. I cant accept this, Shuri.” He tries to hand it the gift back to her but sees the way her eyes narrow as if daring him to not open it.
“Bucky, this your day! Everybody deserves presents on their birthday!” She exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air like its the most ridiculous thing in the world that she has to even explain herself.
“I know I know, but really, just- it’s just another year for me,” he sighs. He wishes Steve were here. Steve used to spend every birthday with him, whether it would be taking out Bucky to buy whatever he wanted with the money Steve was saving up all year the day.
“It very well may be, but its the first year where you get to be yourself in such a long time,” She says softly.
The realizing hits Bucky like a bus. He hasn't had any sort of birthday in over seventy years, the last birthday he remembers was back before he shipped out. Steve took him to the best spot in the city for dinner, he saved up all his money from his side job selling portraits to families. It was the best night of his life, he remembers wanting to tell Steve how much he loved him, how badly he wanted to grab Steve by his face and kiss the living day lights out of him.
Bucky sighs. He opens the gift, ignoring the squeal Shuri lets out in front of him as he lifts the lid of the box. Inside the boxes are a bunch of letters that look like they've seen better days, he lifts a letter to see the name is addressed to him where he was being stationed when he was out over seas.
It takes him a second to realize the messy scrawl of writing and realizing who it’s from. Bucky’s breath catches, he lifts up the other letters and sees every single one of them is from Steve. There has to be over thirty of them inside the box, all letters from Steve to Bucky while he way at war.
He opens up one of the letters, his hands are shaking as he focuses on the words in front of him.
Bucky,
Becca came over today, and my god Bucky is that girl a handful. She gets it from you no doubt but getting to hang out with her makes me feel like you are here with me sometimes, she is so much like you that I feel like she is going to scold me for not being bundled up enough. She did anyways. (I cant believe you are making her check up on me. Yeah she told me about the conversation you guys had.)
I miss you, Buck. I didn't realize how hard it would be for me while you were gone, not hearing you every morning getting up to head off to the docs is such a strong thing. Come back safe, you jerk.
Yours,
Steve.
Bucky lifts up another letter, his entire body feels so heavy that he sits down on the floor in the middle of the room and starts reading.
Bucky,
I don’t know if you are even getting these things but I promise this will be the last one. I met somebody today, his name is Dr. Erskine. He was rambling about an experiment he wants to try on me, says it will make me stronger and faster. I know you probably think I'm crazy for believing this guy, hell I think I'm crazy also but if this gives me any sort of chance to go to war, why the hell not?
I’ll be leaving tomorrow to meet up with him.
I’m so scared, Bucky. What if it doesn't work? What if my body isn't strong enough? I need you so much, Bucky. I miss you even more. If I don't make it, just know that I love you. I always have. Even when you make me ride the cyclone and I threw up all over your shoes after we got off that god awful ride. You are the most incredible man, the ability for you to see the good in everybody, your caring nature, your sense of humor, your horrible dancing, are only the few reasons why I love you.
Take care of yourself, don't do anything stupid.
Love yours,
Steve.
Bucky didn't realize he was crying till he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder. He leaned he head on Shuri’s arm, releasing a deep breathe before wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
“How did- how? I didn't even know he wrote any of these,” Bucky’s voice cracks, he feels like he has a lump the size of a baseball in his throat.
“I was able to get into contact with the exhibition that has all of yours and Steve’s belongings. It took some persuading and some money, but it was totally worth it.” She squeezes his shoulder.
“I don't know how I can ever thank you,” Bucky is so filled with gratitude for her, she has helped him so much over the last year and a half. Helped him heal, become the person he was always meant to become.
“You can thank me by walking right outside this cot and see the second part of your gift.”
“Shuri- C’mon this is too much-”
“Hush now, go outside before I drag you by your ear,” she taps his shoulder before getting off the floor and offering her hand to him. He takes it gratefully.
Once he’s about to exit the cot, he turns towards Shuri and realizes she isn't follow him. “Aren’t you coming?” He asks, confused.
“I think you are going to want to see this one alone,” She’s smirking. Jesus christ, nothing good ever happens when she smirks. The last time she had that facial expression, Bucky ended up with a bright ass yellow arm that she thought would be funny. Luckily the panel on Bucky’s new arm is capable for him to change the color to the type he wants, he still almost lost his shit.
Bucky shrugs, he walks out of the cot, arm covering the sun that beats down over his eyes before seeing a person standing only a couple feet away from him.
His legs almost give out.
Because there is no way Steve is standing right there in front of him.
Bucky’s sucks in breath, he walks over to Steve slowly as if any second he is going to disappear from him. Steve meets him half way and wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck, squeezing hard.
Once Bucky has his arms wrapped around Steve’s middle, he feels the safest he has in years. Clutching onto Steve’s shirt, desperate to not let go.
“Steve,” Bucky breaths into his neck, which earns him a tighter squeeze from Steve.
“I know, Buck. I’m here, I’m really here. I’m not going anywhere,” They stand there for god knows how long, only breaking apart when they hear the sound of somebody’s throating clearing behind them.
“I take it you like the present?” Share says, she is such a little shit honestly, but Bucky is so glad to have her in his life.
“There is no refunds on this one, I’m keeping him forever,” Bucky says, it earns a laugh from both of them, Bucky looks over at Steve how is blushing across his face.
“That’s reassuring to hear,” Steve says, smiling at Bucky. He missed that smile so much.
“I’ll give you two some space. You know where to find me, Bucky,” She smiles before heading off towards her lab.
“It’s good to see you have made friends here,” Steve says, they walk over towards the lake that looks over the sunset of Wakanda. Bucky still isn't used to this place, the beauty of it takes his breath away every single day.
“Shuri is great. She has helped me a lot, plus she reminds me of Becca.”
Steve laughs. “You know, I was thinking the same thing.”
They sit down at the edge of the grass, close enough to where their knees are touching. It makes something in Bucky’s stomach flutter.
“I’m really digging the beard, Stevie,” the comment makes Steve blush, he rubs the back of his neck like he always done whenever somebody paid him a compliment.
“Thanks, Buck. I, uh. I just wanted to try something new, ya know? I figured the beard is the best bet,” He sighs. Leaning his head back which makes the sun beat down on Steve’s skin making him fucking glow. Bucky will never get over how beautiful Steve is, his strong jaw, blue eyes and stunning smile. He loves this guy so fucking much it hurts.
There is content silence that falls over them before Bucky blurts out: “I read the letters.”
Steve looks over at him, obviously confused. “What letters?”
“The letters you wrote to me while I was away back in the day. Steve, is it- did you mean it?”
Bucky sees the moment Steve remembers what he is talking about, his face goes white like he just seen a ghost.
“Bucky I- listen,” he lets out a shaky breathe. “I meant it, all of it. I still mean it till this day. I loved you back then I love you now. And I know you don't feel the same way but I don't want to lose you my best friend because of my feelings-”
He cuts Steve off by kissing him square in the moment. Steve freezes, he doesn't move and Bucky is about to pull back when he feels Steve relax into it, bring his hand to Bucky’s neck to rub his thumb back and forth across his pulse point. It’s the best kiss Bucky has ever had. Steve swipes his tongue across Bucky’s bottom lip tentatively, and when Bucky parts his lips, feels Steve tongue against his, there is a fire burning deep in his belly. He has waited so long for this, more than 70 years to finally have this with Steve and now that he has it he is never letting it go.
“If you really believe I’m not head over heels in love with you, you got another thing coming, punk,” he presses his forehead against Steve’s, pecking his lips gently. Steve lets out a happy sigh, kissing Bucky again like he can’t get enough.
“Say it again.” Steve says.
“I love you,” Bucky kisses his forehead. “I love you,” he kisses Steve’s cheeks. “I love you,” he kisses Steve’s nose. “I’m so in love with you, Steve Rogers, it nearly kills me.” He kisses Steve on his lips.Steve smiles into the kiss. They have been through so much together. He thinks he can kiss Steve all the time, it would be a pretty great way to go out. Put that on Bucky’s tombstone, Here lies Bucky, survivor of war, suffocated because he would rather kiss Steve than breathe.
For the first time in seventy years, Bucky lets himself be happy, lets himself have this special moment because he has waited so god damn long for it and he won’t let anything stop him from getting the happiness he deserves.