Pride

I had a concussion, three broken ribs, a broken wrist and nose, a shattered collarbone, and about a million bruises. Lying in bed brought me pain. Speaking brought me pain, yet I did it anyway.

One of the medical drones was milling around my room, while Nebula leaned against the wall next to the door, lips curled into a frown. She hadn’t said a word - she’d just crept in and waited while my wounds were sprayed with salve and my bones adjusted.

“You lived. I’m surprised.”

“What, you wanted me to die-”

“I expected you to die,” Nebula walked over, crouching so she was eye level with me. I could barely move - I let her observe me, eyes unblinking, head tilted to the side. “You should have listened to me. You weren’t ready, anyway.”

I stared. In a low voice, I asked, “Where’s Maw?”

“Confined. Thanos plans on punishing him - for losing, and for disobeying his orders.”

Disobeying? I tried to sit up, but failed - the medical drone forced me down with one rigid, metal hand. Before I could speak, Nebula added, “You’re lucky to be alive. Extremely lucky.”

“Your training saved me.”

A smirk appeared on Nebula’s lips - but she smiled. It was small, and brief, but she smiled at my words and ducked her head. She reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from my face, resting her palm against my cheek. I smiled back, letting out a huff.

“I’m glad you learned something,” Nebula stood. Her eyes darkened, and in a low voice, she said, “But don’t think you can go up against my father if the time comes. You’ve now seen firsthand what he can do. This was his way of trying to make you stronger. Trying to use you-”

My head pounded - I winced. Nebula stopped, noticing my discomfort. She sighed, shortening her comment.

“Just...be careful from here on out.”

“I always am.” 

Lie. That was a lie. Yet I told it smoothly, closing my eyes as I heard Nebula’s footsteps get farther and farther away.

When I opened my eyes, the medic drone was gone. Time had passed - I didn’t know how much, but the hallway outside my room was no longer bustling.

Then, footsteps.

The door to my room opened. Thanos ducked a bit, entering. He looked around, a frown on his face.

He’s never been in your room before.

Always the other way around.

Without preamble, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

“You’re an asshole.”

Silence. Thanos stood, ducking his head once more and stepping forward. There was an air of hestiance around him, and something else that I didn’t recognize. I watched as he reached out to cradle my head with one, big hand.

“I instructed Maw to test you. See how you would hold up in a battle against a much stronger enemy,” Thanos murmured. “I did not tell him to…”

“Try and rape me?” I muttered.

Thanos nodded. I barked out a high-pitched, sudden laugh.

“He’d been planning it. He watched us while we were together,” I reached up with my good hand, wiping away a stray tear. “Did you kill him?” 

“No. He will be punished - at your discretion.”

Very, very gingerly I sat up, mustering the energy to look Thanos in the eyes. Then I swung my legs over the side of the bed, bare feet touching the cold floors. I used my good hand to push myself up, nearly falling - Thanos caught me before I could.

“Take me to him.”

Maw was strung up, kept afloat on his stomach in mid air by an invisible force that one of the guard drones controlled. His face was twisted into a silent, ugly grimace, and his own blood still coated his robes. He wasn’t able to speak, one hand extended in a silent plea for help.

His eyes followed me as I entered the room. His lips moved, but no sound came out.

“You were the victor. You decide his punishment.”

I stared. Maw’s eyes were filled with unrivaled hatred - all directed at me. I said nothing, and Thanos rounded on Maw, standing before him.

“He and I already had our talk. He disobeyed me - tried to claim what was mine. He knows that,” Thanos peered down at his child. “Make him hurt, little human, just as he hurt you.”

The guard drone fiddled with the controls, glancing over at me for approval.

Gulping, I nodded.

Maw’s shrieks were loud and high pitched, like that of a pig being strangled and prepped for slaughter. The noise pierced my eardrums, causing my head to pound.

Yet it went on.

“Stop,” I murmured. Then, louder, “Stop.”

Thanos raised a hand. The guard drone obeyed, and Maw’s screaming ceased.

The room went silent for a long, long, too long moment. When Thanos noticed that I wasn’t going to speak, he said, “Again.”

Maw screamed. I squeezed my eyes shut as the noise went on until Maw’s voice was raw, and I was sure his vocal cords had simply given up.

Stop.

“Stop,” I said.

Thanos ignored me.

“Stop. Stop it.”

I was crying now, yet Thanos did not give. My knees wobbled and I squeezed my eyes shut so hard that I saw stars. Again, louder, I sobbed, “Stop. Stop, please.”

Maw went quiet.

When I opened my eyes, Thanos was close, peering down. He cradled my face between his hands, a gesture that had once felt affectionate. Now it felt cold. Foreign.

“Go back to my quarters and wait for me there.”

I walked on trembling legs, backing away as he turned back to Maw and nodded to his guard drone.

The screams started again, and I ran.

“I should not have pushed you the way I did. I should have taken more time - been more careful,” Thanos said softly. “I’m sorry, little human.”

I sat, naked, on those warms sheets that I’d become so familiar with. Thanos was in the same state of undress, rough hands caressing my skin.

I said nothing. Thanos rolled his shoulders, and I could tell that he was a bit put off by my lack of words. He pressed a feather light kiss against my shoulder, one hand slipping between my legs as he tried to coax something out of me.

It worked. I couldn’t help the soft moan that slipped from my mouth.

“So she does speak,” Thanos rumbled. “And she’s wet.”

He lifted his hand. I instinctively took his glistening finger between my lips, sucking lightly, tasting myself.

Thanos reclined back, leaving my sitting, my palm pressed against his broad chest.

“I did what I did so to make you strong. The galaxy is a brutal place - you need to become accustomed to that. I want you to survive,” Thanos murmured.

“As if you’d care whether or not I died.”

“I wouldn’t continue to clothe you, feed you, fuck you if I didn’t care.”

“You clothe, feed, and fuck those other women.”

“You, and only you, have shared my bed. The others, their time was up. I only desired one." 

My hand curled into a hook, my nails raking down his chest as I snarled, “Desire and genuine love are two different things. I’m not sure if you even understand the latter.”

Thanos’ eyes narrowed. In a low voice, he said, “I understand it better than you could ever imagine.”

“Then show me. Fuck me like you love me,” I lifted my chin, sneering. “Show me.”