Bucky managed to smother his annoyance with relief that Loki hadn't accidentally taken a truly deadly drug, but chosen a more laid back party style drug.
Ecstasy.
"What do I do?" said Bucky. He considered his options. All in all, any option seemed like overkill.'
"I think," said Loki, "you can keep an eye on me in case I get sick."
"How will I know when it starts working? What should I be looking for?"
Loki leaned back in his chair. "Of course, of course," he said with a wave of his hand. "Serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine release, Dilated pupils, perspiration, dehydration-"
"What is it like?" Bucky interrupted.
Loki grinned. "Fun."
Fifteen minutes later, Bucky was anxiously pacing the room.
"Do you feel anything yet? It should have kicked in by now."
"No," a very bored Loki replied.. "Nothing yet. Perhaps I'm immune."
"Maybe..." said Bucky. Loki noticed Bucky shifting uncomfortably and fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
"Look, there's nothing to worry about," tried Loki.
"How long will it last for?" Bucky said to the floor.
"A few hours is all." Loki said, patiently waiting for the drug to take effect. "Ugh, I feel awful." Loki did look a bit flushed.
"Awful how?" Bucky said as he crouched next to Loki to make sure he was okay.
"I’m alright, sit back down." Loki lightly pushed Bucky away. "It's fine, this is how it starts." A shiver overtook him, and this time he could tell the drug was starting to work. "Oh," he said. "Oh."
"Feeling better?" Bucky asked awkwardly.
“Warm.” A moment later, he heard Loki scoot closer to Bucky on the carpeted floor. He was reaching for Bucky’s metal arm. "Oh, that feels..."
Loki leaned against him, rubbing his biceps through the fabric of his tee shirt. After a moment, he looked up at Bucky."Mmmm..." Loki moaned softly, his eyes closed with a big smile on his face. "Can I keep you forever?"
Bucky huffed a laugh. "You don't like me this much when you’re sober."
"I do! I promise I do. Your arm is... the best thing I've ever touched. I'll keep it forever."
Bucky cast his eyes around the room as if it would offer a solution to the awkward atmosphere. "Oh!" said Bucky. "I bought these a while ago to share with Steve, but I kept forgetting to bring it to him." He tore open the bag of candies and unwrapped a hard green one. "Here," Bucky said, holding it out to Loki. "Suck on this."
Loki accepted the blue candy and put it in his mouth. "James," he said holding the candy toward him. "Try this. It tastes amazing."
"Uh," said Bucky. "That's all right, I've got a whole bag of them here anyway."
Loki grinned and popped the candy back into his mouth, sucking on it until it stained his lips blue.
"How are you feeling?" Bucky asked, thinking it was a good time to check in.
"So good!" Loki said immediately. He stretched his arms above his head."You should try some X sometime."
"What? Why?"
"I want you to do it too. It's so good, Buck. We can do it together."
Bucky laughed. "Ah, I don’t think Mr. America would be too happy with me if did that."
"Oh,"Loki pouted. He looked a little crestfallen.
"Don't worry about America man. I'm having a very good time. I'm sure you’d feel amazing."
"You think so? But – "
"Maybe you'll find out how fun it is someday. At least, when it’s with someone you care about." Loki interrupted.
Bucky watched Loki’s face carefully for a few seconds before Loki started settling back between his legs.They sat in silence for a while, until he Loki tense up.
"Bucky,"Loki started, his voice low and cautious. "Do you ever think about sex?"
Bucky tried incredibly hard not to laugh. "Um, Sometimes I guess. It's normal, though. You know, back in the day- "
"With me?"
Bucky froze. His instinct was to say no, obviously not, and change the subject quickly. Or maybe crack a joke, but any joke was going to sail right over Loki's head. No, that wouldn't do.
"A few times actually," he answered truthfully. And if I wasn't before, I am now, thought Bucky. "I mean," he said, "it's just a thing that pops into your head sometimes, you know. Curiosity," Bucky went on. "It doesn't mean anything."
"We could try, If you wanted." said Loki.
Bucky forced himself to not pull away in response. "Do you..want to?" he ventured.
"I want whatever you want," Loki said. For once, there was no tinge of manipulation in his voice. "I want to make you feel good too."
Of course, the possibility of this conversation always existed, but Bucky had not counted on having it tonight.
"Would it make you feel good, though?" Bucky continued. Loki was silent for a while, from thoughtfulness or bliss, Bucky couldn't tell you.
"I really can't imagine," Loki said, at last, his voice low, "anything in the world feeling better than I do at this moment."
"Really?" Bucky asked with a grin. Bucky moved his hands to Loki’s head and began combing his fingers through his long black hair, tugging gently.
"Ohhhhhh," Loki moaned quietly, "do that forever please." He then stilled abruptly. "Can I have another candy maybe?"
Bucky chuckled a bit as he reached for the bag of candies. They lapsed back into silence for a bit, only disturbed by the rustling of candy wrappers. "I wonder if Thor has ever done this." Loki giggled. "Has Thor used drugs? We should ask..."
"Maybe we shouldn't."
"I know he worries about me, and I never tell him what a wonderful big brother he is. He's always been there for me, even when we were kids and things weren't always – And every time I get into trouble or take too much-- " Loki broke off. His eyes were red. He lifted his hand. "I'm texting him."
"it's the middle of the night, Loki.”
"Okay. I got it."Loki's thumb moved over the screen of his phone.
"Don't tell him you're on drugs, all right? He’ll beat my ass."
"I won't! Wait.."
"Show it to me before you send it, okay?"
"I think I just sent it."
"Let me see."
Loki handed the phone to him, his fingers lingering on Bucky’s.
The last message sent was to Thor. It read,
I reallyy love you.. It'ss not because I'm high.
Bucky couldn't help it. He broke into a fit of giggles.
Loki's face broke into a huge grin."James," he said. "Do you want to kiss?"
"Kissing?" Bucky asked. "Like, you and me?"
"Uh-huh, yep." he said, settling himself into Bucky’s chest.
"Uh, I don’t know, maybe when you’re sober." Bucky flushed.
Loki smiled. "It's okay." He was worried for a second he might have offended Bucky, but it didn’t concern it for too long. Bucky gently pushed Loki away from him and stood up. His back ached and he wanted to sleep. He wondered how much longer Loki would keep at this. Loki's eyes were closed, so he grabbed one of the blankets draped over the arm of a chair. Bucky sat back down next to Loki and covered both of them with the blanket.
"why do you always say nice things to me even when I'm bad?" Loki asked the question into the crook of Bucky’s neck. "Do you think you have to?"
"No. I say it because it's true. You’re not bad you just..get confused."
Loki nodded. "Like you." he said after a moment. "I like you very much, James."
"I like you too Loki."Bucky, on his part, was happy but also exhausted. It was tempting to pass out here on the couch.
"No," said Loki. "That's not what I meant – " Loki looked at Bucky with such a soft expression. "I think," he started. "maybe – I love you."
Bucky could feel his face turning red as he let out a small chuckle.
“Get some sleep Loki. Goodnight.”
“Night James.”