Inimitable

Tony is surprised when Nakia finds him in the morning with food- some kind of weird fruits he’s never seen before and he thought he had been through with weird new things- and smiles. “How was your night last night?” she asks.

He frowns, “pretty sure you can smell how last was,” he says, earning a mildly disgusted look in response.

“I did not need that much information- fine would have been sufficient,” she tells him.

“And you’ve come to find me because?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

She tilts her head to the side, “do you always assume people have an ulterior motive?” she asks.

“Well you do, so get to the point,” he says thought not unkindly. He can already take a guess at her goals are but he figures he’ll let her fill him in.

Nakia sighs, “fine, I do but we can get to that later. I thought I should warn you that I’m going with you to the border- T’Challa and a few of the river elders thought it would be a good idea,” she says.

“What the hell am I about to walk into?” he asks, eyebrows drawing together. If T’Challa thought it was reasonable to bring his ex along for a road trip and so did some obviously trusted others how exactly were these people going to react to him?

“Nothing good. I trust you looked up Ulysses Klaw?” she asks and he nods.

“Moderately decent arms dealer- I actually have a vested interest in finding that asshat too,” he says. When they had discovered Obadiah selling Tony’s designs on the side Klaw had been a name that came up but Tony hadn’t gotten a first name- just his last name and the barest glimpse of a picture. Imagine his surprise when he looked the guy up to find it happens to be the same guy.

“Good, because making some kind of effort to find him will be the only way to gain the favor of the border tribe. Or at least W’Kabi- the rest will follow,” she says.

“And you’re helping me why, exactly?” he asks. He can take a guess at that too but he chooses to let her explain herself.

“Ideally I’d like your help too,” she tells him, surprising him with her honesty.

Well, despite the nice change in pace he’s still unsure of her goals. “Nakia, I get where you’re coming from but I know what my country alone is like. First of all America likes to pretend whatever resources they steal belong to them, and that doesn’t even touch on the absolute suspicion the country has. Wakanda- you’re all way more trusting than America could ever be. America would straight up shoot America if America thought America was going to stab America in the back,” he says. Nakia laughs but Tony shakes his head, “I’m dead serious- that’s basically the history of militia groups.”

Nakia shakes her head, “not that- just the way you put it. I’m aware of what other countries are like Tony; I’m not a moron. But realistically no army would be able to withstand the Wakandan force and more than that other countries have outreach programs, things they do to help. We could do all that and we could do it better but we sit around and hoard our knowledge for ourselves while everyone else suffers. Its not right,” she says.

“Nakia,” Tony says softly, “people would be terrified of what you have here. If history has taught me anything its that people do not respond well to fear on a wide spread scale.”

“They are already terrified, Tony. Its what drove your country to send you here to begin with- desperation that they could exploit an unknown resource. Extending resources would help alleviate that fear,” she say, tone as soft as his.

“And if someone decides to just… take what they want? What then? What about all of the people in the country, the stability you have here? What I know about this system- its frighteningly efficient and extremely focused on its population. You start stretching resources that people start fighting over and that’s all gone,” he says.

Nakia raises an eyebrow, “is it? America is not nearly as efficient as Wakanda but your system is stable enough despite sharing your resources. As far as greed goes, well. Wakanda has never taken well to outsiders trying to storm in. Only one man in all of history has managed to get in and out alive.”

Klaw, Tony knows, and he’s curious about how that happened. His first instinct is to say someone on the inside was helping- there’s just no other way- but he knows he’s looking at things from an American standpoint, not a Wakandan one. And looking at it in any other way is useless. “From what I’ve gathered Wakanda doesn’t do wars- we’d hear about it if you did,” he points out.

“Survivors are required to hear about wars, Tony, and were none. Many countries have tried. I suspect its why America sent you in place of a soldier- perhaps they thought we were stupid enough to just give you information that could destroy us,” she says even though that’s literally exactly what T’Chaka did. Though, Tony thinks, his risk had been quite calculated and, if he’s honest, it worked well. Granted that kind of plan is a massive risk to take but all of T’Chaka’s guesses about him had been right. Tony isn’t likely to betray the country because he’s more pissed off at his own to care to. And because, despite his knowledge of America’s goals, he doesn’t agree with them.

He wonders how exactly T’Chaka would have known that until it occurs to him that the man has access to his life in America. He’d know Tony had a change in heart about weapons around two years ago and has been quite vocal about his opinions on weapons since then. And if he thought he could take advantage of America’s suspicious nature and Tony’s exploited situation… Apparently the king is smarter than Tony gave him credit for.

“I mean, T’Chaka did kind of do that. But I have good reason to believe he knew I wouldn’t say much,” he says.

Nakia smiles, “because America would do what it needed to in order to spite America for stabbing America in the back,” she says and he laughs. Yeah, good point.

*

T’Challa sighs, giving Tony a nervous look like he expects something bad to happen and Tony squints. “What are you looking at me like that for? I can’t solve this,” he says.

Concrete lets out a loud meow from the back seat of the car and Nakia sighs, “this cat is very annoying,” she says.

“Just let her out, she’s upset that she can’t sit in Tony’s lap,” T’Challa says. Nakia follows his instructions; making an offended noise then the cat bypasses her out stretched hand to go to Tony.

He grins, “take notes T’Challa, this is what true love looks like,” he says.

Nakia laughs a little, “too bad this is all about to go terribly. He’s quite charming,” she says.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Tony mumbles.

“It has less to do with confidence than knowing the border tribe well,” T’Challa says. “But come along- we might as well get this over with. Maybe they will change their minds like the miners did.”

Yeah, something tells Tony that’s not going to happen but he gathers the cat in his arms and gets out of the car anyways, figuring he might as well deal with this. He’s surprised, though, when he’s greeted- and he uses the word loosely- by a small crowd of obviously organized people. A small army, he realizes, and he shifts a little uncomfortably.

“W’Kabi, was this really necessary?” T’Challa asks in a friendly enough tone. Probably to try and break the ice but it doesn’t work.

“You,” the man Tony presumes is W’Kabi says. “What do you know about Ulysses Klaw?”

Tony, because he’s curious and probably incredibly stupid, responds with a snarky comment. “You do know not all white Americans know each other, right?” he asks and T’Challa winces hard at that. Well, he already knew it was a dumb thing to say and now he has confirmation.

“Last I checked you ran in the same circles,” W’Kabi says. “So it stands to reason that you’d know each other.”

Point to W’Kabi for that pointed barb but Tony doesn’t let it show on his face. As misguided as his weapons sales were it wasn’t really the same thing as Klaw’s exploits. It certainly wasn’t better either, but the actions aren’t equal. “We didn’t run in the same circles- he took things of mine to sell too. I’d be just as interested in finding him as you are.”

W’Kabi lifts his lip a little, all but snarling at Tony without noise. “I highly doubt that. He killed my parents,” he says bluntly.

T’Challa looks deeply uncomfortable with this exchange but says nothing for the moment.

Tony sighs. Given the context for his suspicions Tony understands why he’s acting the way he is. “I’m sorry,” Tony says genuinely, unsure where to go from there but W’Kabi makes it easy for him by rolling his eyes.

“Don’t hand out an apology you don’t mean. I know what your country does to other countries with resources they want. They’re experts at destroying governments for their own profits,” he snaps.

Well, he’s not wrong. “Maybe you should learn more about my government and me personally because I don’t take kindly to the mistreatment I get there for being an omega. And I really don’t take kindly to being seen as a political tool before I’m seen as a person. So how about calm your shit and ask questions before you make judgments. FYI I know about the vibranium and have for weeks- if I really wanted to sell you out it would have happened by now,” he points out.

T’Challa frowns and responds before W’Kabi does, “FYI?”

“For your information,” he and Nakia say in sync. They share a look, grinning at each other before turning back to the small army in front of them.

W’Kabi looks Tony up and down like he’s trying to size him up but T’Challa shifts slightly towards him. He notices W’Kabi’s eyes flick over to T’Challa, clearly noting the movement and he shifts back a little. “I hope you know I’m not stupid enough to think America would attack immediately after getting that information,” he tells Tony in a tone that’s slightly less harsh than the one he had been using.

Tony snorts, “he doesn’t know America that well then,” he says to Nakia, who snorts.

“In his slight defense they usually wait a little bit,” she mumbles back and Tony laughs. Yeah, if it suits them maybe. Or whomever is currently leading the country.

*

To say things are going badly is an understatement. Tony mostly ignores the insults but a few were rude enough that even Nakia defended him. T’Challa jumped down several people’s throats and Tony has discovered full face eye rolls are universal in body language so he uses them often. So he doesn’t understand the language beyond, he’s discovered, a few basic words- that doesn’t mean he won’t let these people know he doesn’t care about their insults. T’Challa doesn’t at all appreciate his methods but he didn’t like being treated like crap in America and he’s quickly growing tired of it here too. If he really wanted to end the damn country they’d damn well know about it.

“You will not last,” W’Kabi tells him, sliding up beside him as he sits purposefully on the fringe of the activity. He has no interest in whatever surely political battle T’Challa is currently in and given how offended Nakia looks she must be having a similar discussion.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Tony tells him, looking up at him. Too bad he’s such an asshole- he’s good looking and well dressed. And he obviously speaks his mind too. Usually the combination is something Tony finds attractive but he’s mostly just annoyed by W’Kabi the same way W’Kabi is clearly done with him too.

W’Kabi laughs softly, looking down at Tony, “if you think he will chose you over Wakanda you are delusional,” he says.

Tony laughs right back, “if think the choice is between me and Wakanda you’re the delusional one. Look, you don’t like me and you don’t want me here, I get that- really, I do. I’m not stupid enough to not consider what being American means to someone who isn’t from the country. If you want Klaw though I have a potential plan,” he says. “Gunna involve more Americans though.”

W’Kabi gives him a somewhat disgusted look, “you think that the king will agree when he let him go the first time?” he asks.

“I don’t ask permission but I’m sure if I state my case T’Chaka might hear me out,” he says. More like when Tony tells him what Klaw stole. Well, what Obi stole and sold to Klaw. It stands to reason that the weapons he stole could be used against Wakanda. Plus if America gets desperate they aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. It wouldn’t be the first time the country has involved itself with terrorists for their own ends and he’s sure T’Chaka could be swayed to see his point of view.

“You know nothing of Wakanda and what the king will agree to,” W’Kabi tells him, shaking his head.

“And you have no idea what Klaw has of mine. Didn’t we already cover making assumptions before asking questions?” he snaps, irritated with the man.

“Didn’t we already cover you having no right to be here to ask questions?” W’Kabi snaps back. “Make no mistake I will get you out of here and I will warn you it won’t be with all the information you have now. T’Challa might be stupid enough to trust you but I am not.”

He raises an eyebrow, “is that a death threat? Because as far as I know Wakanda doesn’t have mind wiping devices of some kind. And just so you know I don’t do threats either,” he tells W’Kabi. He glares down at Tony but Tony glares back, unafraid and generally used to this kind of thing. This is what he gets from politicians back home all the time, and from Howard. If W’Kabi thinks being large and angry will make him back down he should find a new strategy. The problem, Tony thinks, is that unlike the usual morons he deals with at home W’Kabi is smart enough to find a suitable solution to his problem.

“I’ll do what I need to,” he tells Tony eventually, turning and walking away.

T’Challa finds him not long after with a concerned look on his face. “What did he say to you?” he asks and Tony shakes his head.

“Nothing useful,” he says.

“Don’t lie to me,” T’Challa says. “He said something that made you look especially suspicious, what was it?” he asks.

Tony shakes his head, “I’m not worried about it,” he tells T’Challa because he isn’t. This conversation is proof he’s not going anywhere. Its not like T’Challa asked after W’Kabi’s health and safety.

*

T’Challa finds W’Kabi after Nakia has sufficiently distracted Tony with the rhinos and how Wakanda cares for them. “You don’t look impressed,” W’Kabi says when he sees him, smiling just a little like an old friend might but T’Challa is not in the mood.

“What did you say to him?” he snaps.

W’Kabi rolls his eyes, “he tattled already? Americans,” he mumbles, shaking his head.

“He said nothing,” T’Challa snaps. “Whatever it is you believe is true about him it isn’t.” None of the things anyone thought here were true about Tony- he’s spent all day dispelling everything from stupid misconceptions to wild accusations and conspiracies. He wonders if Tony will find Wakandan conspiracies so amusing if he is the subject of them.

“You are naïve,” W’Kabi tells him. “I can’t believe you’re even indulging this absurd plan, its completely ridiculous!”

“You’re not wrong about that,” he agrees, surprising W’Kabi. “But not because I don’t have faith in Tony or because I am stupid enough to think his being here will result in America backing off. The marriage relied too much on coincidence- it was an educated set of coincidence- but coincidence nonetheless. That’s careless.” Not necessarily within Wakanda, but in a world wide context? Not so much. They are all familiar with Wakanda’s inner workings, they are less familiar with how people from other political structures will react to their new surroundings. Its just lucky, exceedingly so, that Tony reacted the way his parents predicted. “However careless it was, though, I don’t believe Tony is a danger to this country and neither should you,” he says in the tone he adopts in political meetings. Its not a voice he likes using but it W’Kabi will not react to him as a friend he will react to him as a prince.

“You are blinded my your affections!” W’Kabi accuses and T’Challa rolls his eyes, something he’s been reliably informed will not make the person you’re talking to react well, but he can’t help it.

“As if you are perfectly clear headed and objective,” he says. “You are over here filling your tribe’s head with absurd conspiracies about takeovers and colonization when a single person from another country is here. Do you even understand how absolutely ludicrous that is? Even if there were a whole bunch of people from other countries that’s not going to inspire a takeover so much as a suburb,” he snaps. He expects better out of Wakanda than anything he has heard today, and he certainly expects better out of an old friend.

“Were you not paying attention when outsiders were let into every other country around us?” W’Kabi asks and T’Challa resists the urge to roll his eyes again.

“I am aware of that, yes. I took history courses in school too- we were in that class together if I remember correctly. I also happen to remember that those countries experienced a take over, not a single pissed off omega with an extreme vendetta against his home country. You are taking history lessons and applying them to situations that are not even remotely the same.” And even if they were Wakanda is no stranger to people trying to invade- they did not start wars, that is not who they are, but if others wanted to start wars with them they did not win. Ever. W’Kabi would do well to remember the history of his own country before spreading conspiracies around like facts.

“Did we both not read about the Trojan Horse?” he asks, squinting.

T’Challa can’t help but rolls his eyes at that, “something tells me Tony, who is barely taller than five feet, is not hiding an army inside him,” he says.

“I didn’t mean that literally and you know it- stop being obtuse,” W’Kabi tells him.

“Then stop with this ridiculous paranoia,” T’Challa counters.

“You need to put your country first!” W’Kabi tells him.

“I am! Its you who is letting your judgment cloud your thinking.” As if Tony’s presence here will result in an eminent takeover from Americans. If anything it might be holding it off some and with any luck his knowledge of his country will be of help to them when they do get desperate and do something stupid.

W’Kabi shakes his head, “you are a fool T’Challa. And you will eventually have to choose- which one will you keep. Your arranged political trinket or the border tribe?” he asks.

T’Challa shakes his head, “I am not choosing between Tony and this tribe. This tribe is choosing between its prince or its insolent brat of a leader. You are foolish if you truly believe they will side with you,” he tells him, looking over at W’Kabi. He’s surprised by the tone of his voice and so is W’Kabi, but perhaps he should have expected the voice of a king when he decided it was acceptable to rile an entire tribe full of people up over nothing.

*

Nakia looks up at Tony and then over to T’Challa. “Have you ever looked at something happening and thought to yourself ‘that’s an impulsive decision happening’?” T’Challa asks Nakia.

She nods, “usually with children, but I am not surprised that you married a special kind of man,” she says.

T’Challa sighs, “how did you get up in the tree, Tony?” he asks.

Tony carefully shifts and reveals the cat, who had crawled into the branches and started yelling at everything that passed by until Tony finally took pity on her. “Cat got stuck. Now I’m stuck,” he says.

This results in another sigh from T’Challa. “Give me the cat,” he says, stepping closer to the tree and reaching up. Tony leans over and carefully lowers the cat, doing his best to keep his balance. The cat isn’t pleased about this but reacts mostly well as Tony hands her down. T’Challa grabs the cat and hands her off to Nakia. “Now climb down the same way you climbed up- literally reverse your actions,” he tells Tony.

He looks at the tree, then T’Challa. “Yeah ok,” he says, shifting himself in the tree and eyeing the ground. He shimmies to the edge of the branch before launching himself off, using T’Challa to break his fall. Thankfully for T’Challa he has fast reflexes and half catches Tony on the way down, but they still end up flat on the ground.

Nakia looks at him in shock, “apparently his being in the tree wasn’t the impulsive thought,” she says. She remains shocked for a moment before she starts laughing.

T’Challa looks utterly annoyed. “I am going to start calling you Concrete,” he mumbles.

Tony snickers, “isn’t it a prince’s job to catch his citizens?” he asks.

“Not when they are jumping from trees like some kind of strange monkey,” T’Challa tells him. “please refrain from trying to rescue the cat in the future.”

“Will do honey. Good talk,” he says, patting T’Challa’s chest a couple times before standing and taking his cat back from a still laughing Nakia.

“I like you. No one else in the entire country would have flattened T’Challa out like a pancake the way you did. You should give the Doras tips,” she tells him, following him as he walks away.

He grins, “maybe I will. Revenge for being called Concrete,” he says as T’Challa peels himself off the ground.

“I resent that,” T’Challa mumbles, stumbling over to them as they continue walking.