Girl Talk
Darcy didn't notice the way Steve's eyes had flitted to their hands. She was too distracted by the conflicting emotions of wanting to beat him over the head for his terrible timing and conversely wanting to wrap him up in a blanket because...yeesh the guy had obviously been through some shit over the last few months. He was, thankfully, all in one piece but it looked like that piece had been tossed into a trash compactor, freaky killer eel alien included.
She released Bucky’s hand to run the last few yards to launch herself at Steve, her arms scrabbling up around his shoulders and relief flooding through her at his safe return. She felt him sigh into her hug, wrapping his own arms securely around her middle for a quick squeeze before setting her back down on her feet with an affectionate smile.
“Darcy, glad to see you're still in mint condition.”
“I wish I could say the same to you, buddy. You look like you could use an ice pack or twenty.” Darcy's eyes flickered over his form, cataloguing the series of minor (mostly) injuries he was sporting.
“Yeah, well some of us were busy kicking Hydra ass while others were holed up playing house in the Love Shack.” Steve smirked and slung an arm over Bucky's shoulders. “Buck, I leave you for a few months and you go and seduce the babysitter? Typical.”
Bucky rolled his eyes, shoving playfully back at Steve and pulling Darcy back to tuck into his side. “Yeah yeah. Can it, punk. You told me to play nice, didn't you? Well, I played real nice,” he purred around a devilish grin. Darcy gave a squawk of indignation, smacking the back of her hand over Bucky's stomach.
“That's enough out of both you assholes. If you're gonna talk about me, please have the decency to do it behind my back.” And with that, she stomped up the ramp to go locate Natasha.
Darcy found her seated in the cockpit, preparing the aircraft for take off and closing the ramp as the two men stumbled in. Darcy was glad to see the other woman didn't look nearly as bedraggled as Steve, but she still wore the signs of battles hard fought.
“Nat!” Darcy shouted, rushing over to attempt to throw herself in the other woman's lap for her own hug and thorough once over. Natasha held up a single finger, her eyes focused on the series of dials on the dashboard, maneuvering the jet back up into the air. Darcy stopped in her tracks, waiting the brief seconds while the redhead got the craft up to altitude and then switched over to autopilot. The other woman removed her harness with nimble fingers and then rose gracefully from her seat to immediately wrap strong arms around Darcy.
“Malen’kiy sestra,” she murmured into Darcy’s hair on a relieved sigh, before pulling back to stroke gently at her face. “I've missed you.”
“Missed you too, Nat. I'm glad you and the team are alright and back in one piece.”
Natasha gave her a patented enigmatic smile before her eyes slid to focus over Darcy's left shoulder to where the two men were chatting quietly. Her head tilted and a perfect auburn brow rose as her focus returned to Darcy's face, a considering and somewhat amused look on her face. Darcy opened her mouth to question Natasha on the strange look but the other woman cut her to the chase.
“You look stronger, Darcy. Did having your ass handed to you by a Hydra agent finally get you to take self defense seriously?”
Darcy puffed up slightly in offense at Natasha's smirk, and then she dropped down to sweep her leg behind the other woman's knees. The Widow anticipated the move, jumping with the force of it and flipping backwards to land back on her feet behind Darcy, dropping to the floor and trapping her in an arm bar faster than Darcy could blink.
Darcy relaxed into the position to keep from hurting herself and tapped Natasha on her thigh to signal her request for release.
Nat obliged with a rare wide smile. “Well done, Darcy. But you need to work on not telegraphing your moves so much.”
“That's what I keep telling her,” Bucky butted in as he and Steve drew closer to the two women, a smug smile residing on his face. Steve made an awkward little motion of reaching for Natasha, but aborted the action and instead folded his arms across his chest, letting her rise to her feet on her own.
Darcy, who was still flat on her back, craned her neck up to stick her tongue out at Bucky. Natasha rolled her eyes and extended a hand out to her, helping her to her feet and dusting off her back.
“Still,” Nat added, “most Hydra goons wouldn't have picked up on it. You've done well for yourself, Darcy.” She preened under the other woman's praise.
Natasha turned her keen gaze to Bucky, eyeing him silently before speaking to him in a soft purr. “Thank you for taking care of Darcy in my absence, James. You’ve trained her well.”
Bucky gave a sharp nod and cleared his throat to respond but was interrupted when Steve swayed heavily into him. Bucky turned to his friend, catching him by the shoulders before he could fall to the ground.
“Steve?” Bucky asked in alarm. “What's wrong?”
Steve shook his head sharply and regained his footing. “‘M fine, Buck. Stop mothering me,” he grumbled, pulling out of the other man's arms.
Bucky's face pinched in annoyance. “Obviously the fuck you aren’t. You look like shit, Rogers, and you almost passed out just now. When was the last time you ate? You been getting enough sleep? You look like you haven't slept in about four years.”
Steve's jaw clenched and his hands went to his hips. “Dammit, Bucky I told you I’m fine. I can function just fine without you hovering over me. Besides, me and Nat ate on the way here.”
“And what about rest? You been sleeping enough?”
“Yes, you ass. I’ve been sleeping plenty,” he groused, sounding every bit the defiant little boy being confronted by his mother.
“He hasn’t slept more than three hours at a time for the last two months,” Natasha smoothly inserted.
Steve glanced at her with a look of betrayal while Bucky turned to him with renewed ire. “You what now? Are you trying to run yourself into the ground?? Jesus, just cause you're big now doesn't mean you can neglect your health, Steven Grant Rogers!”
“Look, Buck, can we talk about this later? There's some stuff I need to tell you.” Steve's eyes went a little cagey and he shuffled his weight from one foot to the other.
“Nope. We’re not talking about anything until after you've had a fucking nap,” Bucky snapped, one hand on his hip and the other pointed at one of the seats lining the wall of the quinjet.
“Listen Bucky, I really do need to catch you up on what happened while we were gone. We discovered some...stuff that is pertinent to you.” Steve looked up at him with those sincere blue eyes, a dash of guilt glimmering in their depths.
That stopped Bucky for a second as he considered what intel Steve could have and how deeply it could potentially fuck him up further. He scrubbed a hand over his face with a sigh before asking, “Is there anything I can do about the intel while we’re en route to the Tower?”
“No,” Natasha responded before Steve could. Bucky glanced at her and nodded.
Turning back to his stubborn friend, he laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We’ll talk back at base. For now, rest while you can, Steve. Please?” His voice softened.
Steve sighed, glancing at Natasha before finally nodding and letting Bucky push him towards one of the seats. He dropped heavily into one, leaning back as much as he could and crossing his arms over his chest. The others watched him shift uncomfortably in the seat a few times until Bucky rolled his eyes and went to sit next to his friend, bolstering Steve up on one broad shoulder and crossing his arms.
Steve sighed in relief and snuggled into Bucky's side, his blond head resting on Bucky's shoulder, looking for all the world like two puppies cuddled together.
“Shit that's cute,” Darcy muttered. Bucky’s eyes snapped open to fix her with a glare before shutting again.
Steve shifted a few more times against Bucky until he poked him in his side. “Sit still, punk,” Bucky muttered and then started crooning softly in some language Darcy couldn't identify. The reaction in Steve was almost instantaneous, the weary lines on his face smoothing as he finally settled into sleep.
“It's Gaeilge.”
Darcy turned back to see Natasha watching her closely. “What?”
Nat nodded towards Bucky. “The language he’s singing in. It's Gaeilge. An Irish lullaby.”
“Oh,” Darcy replied, her eyes wandering back to the two men. She could just see it, two boys, sons of immigrants and the best of friends. One tall and strong and dark while the other was small and sickly with hair like the sun, snuggled together while the frail one struggled to breathe through wracking coughs and the strong one sang him the lullabies of his motherland.
Natasha's voice cut into her thoughts. “He used to sing it in his sleep.”
Darcy's eyes snapped to the redhead, whose own eyes were intent on the men and held some glimmer of emotion that Darcy couldn't quite catch before it was swept away.
Natasha met her gaze, a small smile playing at one corner of her mouth. “Come on. We have things to talk about,” she said softly, taking Darcy by the hand and leading her back up to the cockpit.
Natasha sank smoothly into the pilot’s seat while Darcy slumped heavily into the copilot seat beside her, kicking her feet up to rest on the dash. Natasha watched her movements with sharp eyes, her expression neutral. Darcy tried not to fidget under the other woman’s gaze but it was difficult. If Nat ever needed to get info out of her, she would crack like an egg. No torture necessary, just those cold, calculating eyes.
“Darcy, breathe,” Natasha prompted.
“Right,” Darcy replied, sucking in a lungful of air.
Natasha chuckled lowly. “Relax, Darcy. Why are you acting as if I’m about interrogate you?”
“Um, because you are?”
The other woman snorted and somehow made the sound seem delicate. “It’s not an interrogation. But I do have...concerns.”
Oh boy. Darcy steeled her spine. She loved Nat, she really did, but she wasn’t going to let the other woman stomp all over her relationship with Bucky just because she knew him back in the day when he was deep in Murderbot Mode.
“How long have the two of you been together?”
Starting with the easy questions, then. Darcy could definitely handle this one. “Since New Years,” was her prompt response.
“Your family knows? Knows who he is and that you are together?” Nat’s voice stayed cool and emotionless.
“Yup. The whole fam loves him. My dad is probably going to start begging for grandkids any day now.”
That response finally got a reaction from the redhead. Well, as much of a reaction as Nat ever gave. So an arched brow and a slightly amused smile.
“Interesting. Has he had any flashbacks while around you? Nightmares?”
“....yes.”
“And how was that handled?”
“Nobody got hurt, if that’s what you’re asking. He snapped out of it fairly quickly. It’s partially why he started training me, I think. So I can protect myself if he loses his grip on reality and things go sideways.”
Natasha looked pleased. “Good. He’s being smart about you.”
“I don’t know if it’s so much smart as it is being terrified of himself. And you expecting the worst from him is not exactly helping, Natasha.” Darcy leveled a stern look at the other woman. “He’s so much better than when Steve brought him in. Hell, he’s better just since Steve dropped him off at my place. Hasn’t had a single issue in a couple months.”
Natasha’s lips flattened, but she made no comment.
“He’s a good man, Nat. Despite everything that has happened to him, everything that was done to him, he’s still a good man.” Darcy’s voice was soft, but held an edge of urgency. She needed her friend to understand.
Natasha turned her head away from Darcy, eyes scanning the horizon. “I know,” she replied, her voice almost a whisper. There was a rare tenderness to the cadence of her voice and a sheen to her eyes that made her seem so much younger than she was.
Darcy reached a hand out to squeeze lightly at the other woman’s forearm. At the touch, Nat returned her gaze to Darcy’s with a reticent smile.
Natasha was quiet for a moment. “No matter how many times they erased him, no matter how they twisted him, he still sang the songs of his boyhood in his sleep.” She paused. “I think that’s why I…” She shook her head, blinking away the memory, smiling apologetically at Darcy.
“It’s alright, Nat. I know about...all that. He told me.”
Natasha’s brows rose in surprise. “He remembered?”
Darcy hummed and nodded. “Some of it, yeah. I don’t think he’s got too many of the details...but the big stuff came back to him.”
The redhead nodded and dropped her eyes to where her hands sat folded together in her lap. “Is he gentle with you? When you’re together?”
Darcy looked at her in confusion, her brow wrinkling.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “Sex, Darcy. I’m talking about sex. When he’s with you, does he remember to keep his strength in check?”
“Oh,” Darcy breathed, a blush rising up over her cheeks. “Heh, well, um, we haven’t exactly cleared that hurdle quite yet. We’re taking things slow. For, um, reasons.” Darcy shook her head. “Not that it’s really any of your business, Nat...but, why do you ask?”
“When James was…” she trailed off, eyes darting to gage Darcy’s reaction, “with us, he could be...rough. Rougher than was strictly necessary.” Darcy inhaled sharply through her nose, but otherwise stayed quiet, allowing the other woman to continue. “I don’t know if that is because that’s how he was instructed to treat us, or if that is just his nature, but either way, if we had not been enhanced as we were by our own serums, we would have been…harmed.” Natasha’s gaze grew sharp and a bit of the Widow slipped through. “You, malyshka, are not as indestructible. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Natasha laced her fingers through Darcy’s, giving her moment to let the information sink in.
“Whoa,” Darcy breathed. “Heavy.” Natasha nodded in agreement. “I don’t...I don’t think that’s going to be an issue. He’s pretty gentle with me in, um, other aspects so I’m not worried. The man that you were with and the man he is now are two very different people, Nat.”
The other woman jerked her head in a nod. “I trust your judgement. If you say he is careful with you, then I won’t worry.” She gave Darcy a brief, tender smile before her expression clouded and a hint of menace rose to the surface of her features. “However, should he forget himself, I will rip off his balls and hang them on my wall as a gentle reminder.”
“That’s a gentle reminder?” Darcy asked with wide eyes.
“Yes,” Natasha replied, her smile saccharine and terrifying all in one.
“Okay. Cool. Cool. I’ll pass along that message.” Darcy mumbled, eyeing Natasha warily.
“Mmm, see that you do.”
Darcy stared off at the horizon, still processing their conversation. Damn, being friends with ex assassins could get super intense. Natasha seemed to have settled back into her normal neutral emotional state however, the redhead’s gaze returning to the windshield. It appeared that the interrogation was over. And she’d only threatened Bucky once. That had to be a good sign, right?
Having seemingly passed whatever verbal quiz that Nat had just put her through, Darcy’s thoughts strayed to other subjects and recent revelations of her own.
“So, how long have you and Steve been together?” she asked smugly. Turnabout’s fair play, and all that.
“We’re not,” was Natasha’s smooth reply, without even a slight waver to her inflection.
“Ah see, you’re such a good liar, Nat, that I would totally have bought that if it weren’t for the fact that you decided your lover of choice should be the man with the worst poker face on the planet.”
Natasha clicked her tongue on her teeth in irritation and rolled her eyes. “Damn it, he is terrible at being inconspicuous.”
Darcy snorted. “Seriously. I could tell within the first five minutes of being on the plane. He kept looking at you with the clenched Jaw of Freedom™ and the Earnest Eyes of Unwavering Honesty™. Soooo, how long have you two been…” Darcy gave a series of crude hand gestures which earned her a thoroughly unamused look from the other woman.
“We’re not doing whatever that was. We had sex once a couple months back. It wasn’t what you think it is.”
“Well, clarify for a girl, would ya.”
Natasha sighed and gave Darcy a pretty wicked side eye, but seemed to cave. “While we were over there...there was one day that was...well it was horrific. Steve was having a hard time with it and I...well, even I was affected to an extent so that should give you an idea of how nasty the situation was. He needed something to take his mind off all of it.”
“So what? You guys had a rough day at work and made it better with comfort sex?”
“Yes. Essentially.”
“What was so bad that the Widow needed to be comforted?” Darcy asked with genuine concern. She’d never seen anything ruffle Nat’s feathers. Never.
The other woman inhaled deeply and then released it slowly before answering. “We were in Sokovia ferreting out a Hydra agent by the name of Wolfgang von Strucker. He was part of Hydra’s experimental science division, but it seems that he had gone a bit rogue. When we got there, the stuff we found, the experiments he had been working on were, for the majority, off the official books and unsanctioned by Hydra. The intel we had on him was therefore incomplete and we walked into a nasty clusterfuck. Real nasty.” Nat grew quiet, collecting her thoughts. “He had some kind of sick thing for experimenting on children.”Darcy’s stomach clenched and soured at the words.
“We...when we got there, we were able to take out Strucker and the goons working for him easily enough, but the kids...most of his experimentation involved trying to turn these children at the facility into powered individuals. He’d been messing with mutant DNA, Inhuman DNA, even got his hands on Loki’s scepter and was using that to create powered children.” Natasha swallowed hard, turning to face Darcy fully. “Darce, by the time we got there, we only found two survivors. A pair of twins who Strucker had been successful with. They were terrified, had been tortured and torn apart and put back together over and over to achieve his goals. But, god, they at least survived. The rest….we found dozens and dozens of kids, of varying ages, who hadn’t survived the experiments but Strucker had...he’d kept their bodies preserved in life support containers. They were brain dead but he wouldn’t let their bodies die, just so he could continue to study the effects of his work.” Natasha swallowed hard at the bile rising at the back of her throat at the memory.
“Fuck,” Darcy whispered in horror, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes.
“Yeah. Steve was the one to find them. All those little bodies, mangled and murdered and not even given the dignity of death...I think it broke something inside him. It’s why he hasn’t been sleeping. I think he keeps seeing their faces when he closes his eyes. I know I do. We had Bruce come in, make sure there was nothing we could do to save them. Brought in the local authorities, tried to make positive IDs on the kids, but all of them were either orphans or homeless or both. Forgotten children. When we realized there was no one to claim these kids, Steve had to make the call to turn off the machines and let their bodies finally die in peace.” There was a long pause and then, “The youngest we found couldn’t have been more than three,” Natasha murmured.
Darcy was crying in earnest now, and she rose from her seat to curl into Natasha’s lap. “Oh god, Nat. That’s so fucking terrible.”
Natasha idly ran a hand through the younger woman’s hair. “Yes, devochka, it was. It is. And I could see how hard it was for Steve. Can you blame me for taking him to bed that night?”
“No, no I can’t,” she snuffled, burying her face into Natasha’s soft, red curls.
They sat like that for a few minutes while Darcy shed tears into the other woman’s shoulder, mourning for the little ones that had been hurt so badly. Why was it always the women and children that suffered when evil men sought glory?
“Are you alright?” Natasha asked, stroking softly along Darcy’s back.
She nodded, pulling away and scrubbing at her face. “Yeah. I’m okay,” she answered thickly, crawling off Nat’s lap and returning to her seat. “When we get back, the whole team is getting scheduled for mandatory therapy. For at least six months.”
“That might be wise,” Nat responded with a twitch of her lips.
“What about you? Are you alright?”
“Yes, Darcy. Nothing that vodka and a good fuck couldn’t cure.”
“Oh so it was good, eh?” Darcy asked, elbowing Nat in the ribs.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “Have you no concept of discretion?”
“Nope!” Darcy declared cheerfully. “So it was good though, right?”
Natasha’s eyelashes gave a peculiar little flutter as she muttered a soft, “Yes.”
Darcy’s eyes narrowed at the response. “Then why was it only the one time, hmm?”
“Because Rogers is the type to get attached. And that is a bad idea.”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, it seems that ship has sailed for him. He looks pretty smitten.”
Natasha’s nostrils flared in irritation and she let loose a brief stream of what Darcy assumed were Russian curse words.
“I don’t see why it’s a bad idea though,” Darcy interjected when the other woman fell silent. “Especially with Steve. He’s like the poster boy for perfect husband material.”
“Marriage is an archaic ideal that does not fit with my lifestyle,” Nat rattled off in a bored monotone.
“Meh,” Darcy replied, flipping her hand through the air as if to wave away Nat’s objections. “Doesn’t mean you guys can’t be together. And don’t you give me that ‘love is for children’ bullshit, Natasha Romanoff.”
“It is for children, Darcy.” Natasha’s tone remained bored, but Darcy could sense the barest hint of sadness in the way her eyes crinkled at the corners. Most people would miss it, but Darcy was getting better at reading the other woman the longer they were friends.
“Yeah. It is. But it’s also for everyone else too, you bitter old woman,” Darcy scolded.
Nat scoffed, but otherwise didn’t respond. Darcy grew thoughtful, chewing over her next words carefully before speaking. “Not...not every relationship will be like what you had with James. Nobody is going to punish you for loving Steve,” she murmured softly.
Natasha’s head snapped around to face Darcy, her eyes cold and the barest hint of anger sharpening the features of her face. Her eyes bore into Darcy’s, but she refused to back down, and suddenly the tension drained from Nat’s posture and she broke eye contact, sinking back into her seat with a sigh.
A strange look passed over her face and Darcy thought it might be the softest she’d ever seen Natasha look. Sensing a rare opening, Darcy pressed further. “It’s okay for you to want more for yourself, Natasha. This isn’t the Red Room. It’s not even SHIELD. If you can let go of the past, you have the opportunity to find just a little bit of happiness in the present. I’m not saying you should marry the guy...but if you want him, maybe you should consider letting yourself have him?”
“Are you trying to tell me I can have nice things?” Nat teased lightly.
Darcy huffed. “Yep, pretty much.”
Natasha grinned and then grew sober, thinking over Darcy’s words. “I will...consider what you’ve said, sestra.”
Darcy nodded. “Good. Whatever you decide, though, do it quickly. You need to clarify things with Steve, one way or the other.”
Natasha groaned and dropped her head into one hand, rubbing at her temple. “This would be easier if he wasn’t so sappy.”
“The best things in life are very rarely easy,” Darcy replied, channeling her best inner fortune cookie.
Natasha responded with a seriously unamused side eye and a tap to Darcy’s shoulder. “Strap in, Darcy. We’ll be landing soon.”
Darcy glanced out the windshield to see that, sure enough, the New York skyline was now visible, and began strapping herself into her seat. Natasha shifted, flipping off the autopilot and assuming control of the jet.
Tony’s shining monument to himself came into view, a reminder of the people that waited within and the explanations still to come. Well, two Avengers down, all the rest to go. Easy peasy, right?
Right?