Tony is so fucked.
That’s his first thought as soon the door opens. And here’s the thing: Usually, that wouldn’t be a bad thought to have, walking in on what is obviously supposed to be a very romantic candlelit dinner at the top of the Avengers Tower, with his boyfriend smiling at him while holding a flower bouquet on one hand and a champagne bottle on the other.
“So,” Steve asks, his shy grin clearly nervous, and Tony takes a moment to forget the dinner and the flowers and the world at large to marvel at how insanely good he looks in a navy-blue three-piece suit, complete with an adorable bowtie. “What do you think?”
Tony swallows, steering his thoughts back from how fantastic that suit would look on his bedroom floor, and stares at Steve’s expectant face. “It’s… It’s perfect.” He says.
And it’s true. It’s perfect, it’s amazing, it’s... Tony has no idea what this is about.
Here’s the thing: Steve is big on “firsts”. It’s one of the first things Tony noticed when they started their relationship, and boy, was he glad he noticed it soon enough to program into Friday’s code a duty to remind him of their anniversary. It worked perfectly, and they had a fantastic one-year anniversary, complete with sex on the Louvre’s floor, because Tony Stark didn’t do half-assed celebrations, thank you very much.
The problem started, though, when he realized Steve wasn’t just big on the obvious “first time they stopped being idiots and got together” date. No, the man was apparently incredibly into relationship milestones in general, and on their second year together Tony almost went insane trying to keep count of every single important “first” Steve remembered. The day they met. Their first kiss, their first date. Their first time having sex. Their first public outing as a couple. Steve’s super serum enhanced memory meant he remembered everything. And Steve’s non-super-serum-induced-but-still-way-above-a-normal-person romantic streak meant he always wanted to note them all in some way.
Granted, Steve wasn’t big on fancy celebrations, either. He’d much rather just cuddle in bed and watch a movie or eat a pizza, while caressing Tony’s hair and whispering “Do you know what day is today?” before proceeding to turn the world’s biggest genius into a flushed mess with some incredibly specific detail about their history only he could remember.
(So, ok. Maybe Tony doesn’t usually mind Steve’s memory that much. Ok, fine, maybe it’s one of the most adorable things he’s ever seen, but still.)
The fact that Steve didn’t think they needed to do anything big for all the dates he remembered made things easier – in theory. In reality, Tony still wanted to remember it all, wanted to be the perfect boyfriend Steve deserved, to stay one step ahead and woo Steve with his amazing romantic prowess.
Which, Tony thinks, glancing around the terrace again, he very obviously didn’t.
Steve, completely unaware of Tony’s confusion, steps forward, handing him the flowers. It’s a bouquet of red and yellow roses, arranged in a kind of pattern. “I wanted to go for the… You know, the armor.” Steve says sheepishly, his blue eyes searching Tony’s face nervously. He smiles a little. “I know, it’s a bit cheesy, but-“
“No, no, it’s perfect.” Tony says, even though yeah, that’s absolutely one of the cheesiest things he has ever seen. Still, his heart takes a leap on his chest when Steve hands him the flowers. “This… This is amazing, Steve.” He says, because, hey, it’s his anniversary of… Something, a man is entitled to some cheesiness, right?
Steve beams at him, straightening his bowtie. Tony’s eyes follow his hand, darting from the tie to his shoulders, filling out the perfectly fitted suit like nobody should ever have the right to, and… Shit, Tony notices. It’s a new suit.
Steve buys new clothes once in a blue moon, and usually only when Tony pesters him endlessly about it. It took Tony six months to convince him maybe he should have more than one pair of social shoes – which, he notices, with a quick glance to the floor, Steve isn’t wearing now, either.
So – new suit, new shoes. Flowers, candles, and champagne. All combined with a seemingly nervous but happy Steve, who’s clearly eager to celebrate some very important date on their relationship Tony has completely forgotten about.
He is so fucked.
“Uh, could you, hm, excuse me for a second?” He blurts out, leaving the flowers on the table before Steve has time to answer. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Friday,” Tony calls as soon as he closes the door behind him. “Search for any important reminders set to today.”
A pause. “No data found.” The A.I. says.
“What? No, no, that’s impossible.” Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “Search, uh, search the Captain Handsome file.”
A – significantly longer – pause. “There’s a reminder to stock up on Captain Rogers’s Lucky Charms, along with a note with the potential cost of the General Mills company.”
Ok, so maybe he’s still running through ideas for Steve’s birthday present this year. Pepper had said she would never allow him to purchase another business because of Steve again, but whatever. At the end of the day, Steve was right, the Dodgers belonged on Brooklyn anyway (Tony didn’t have the faintest idea of how could a baseball team belong anywhere or why it mattered, but the way Steve beamed when Tony told him it was happening definitely meant the Dodgers would never belong anywhere else, ever again).
“All right, but what about anniversaries? Anything?”
“No.”
Calm down, Stark, calm down, Tony tells himself. Still, the lack of a reminder is disturbing. Sure, Tony might not be able to keep up with Steve’s superserumed memory, but his hyper-advanced A.I. can. At least it should, he thinks bitterly, because he was very careful to program every date Steve ever mentioned on Friday’s code, from the day they first met to the first time they held hands.
(They were just on the way to the grocery store, Tony protesting what a complete waste of time that was, and how, honestly, if Barton wanted to use every fruit in the Tower for targeting practice, he should buy them himself.
“I’m serious, Steve, the store is four blocks away, we should let him starve so he learns.” Tony said. Then Steve rolled his eyes, smiled and reached for his hand.
Tony stopped walking immediately, and Steve looked at him nervously for a moment, hesitant, until Tony squeezed his hand back and he gave him the most gorgeous grin in the world.
Barton got himself three boxes full of fresh apples that day.)
Tony shakes his head. No, no, that was in September. September… Fuck, he can’t remember the day. Great, now he’s forgotten two important dates, and Steve is still up there on the roof, in all his fairytale prince glory, unaware he’s stuck with the world’s most inconsiderate boyfriend.
For now, Tony thinks, not without a note of desperation. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Friday, what day is today?”
“It’s May 3rd.”
Ok, Stark, deep breaths, you can do this. May 3rd. May 3rd…
What the hell happened on May 3rd?
Tony takes his hands to his temples. Steve had come back on March 30th, and that Tony kind of had to remember, if only because of the whole “saving the universe from a crazy purple genocidal titan” thing they were in the middle of at that moment. He and Steve kissed for the first time in August, but they didn’t start officially dating until October. Nothing happened between them in May, and Tony is very sure of that, thank you very much.
(“So.” Tony started, putting his glass under the water filter. He tried his hardest to keep his tone very casual. “The, uh, the… Look.” He made a gesture encompassing Steve’s… Well, everything. “You know, the, the undercover vigilante thing. Are you, um. Planning to keep it?.”
“I guess.” Steve said, running his hand over his face, his fingers lightly touching his beard, which looked unkempt and not like something Tony was desperately wondering how it would feel rubbing against his face or ass. “Not shaving was actually a lot more practical.” He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. His blue eyes gazed at Tony’s direction, and he looked rough and dangerous and somehow bigger with those dark clothes, and you could probably grab a fistful of that hair now, holding and pulling while riding-
Tony’s glass overflowed.)
So. Yeah. He may have been in the middle of some heavy pining during the first half of the year to do anything about it. But, obviously, in the middle of him drooling over Steve like a teenager, something important had happened. A milestone in their relationship. Something big enough to get Steve to buy new shoes, and, God, not even the U.N. meetings to formulate the new Enhanced Individuals Law had been enough to do that.
Tony feels his stomach twisting – he knows Steve is probably wondering what the hell is wrong with him, and from there Tony knows it’s just a matter of time until Steve starts to wonder what the hell is wrong with him, for keeping up with Tony’s crap and –
Ok, ok, deep breaths. Tony runs a hand over his face, trying to keep himself calm. He’s not going to go insane about this. He and Steve have been together for two years now and Tony is an adult, a grown and mature man. So, he decides, he’s going to handle this like a grown and mature man would.
“Tony?” Rhodey’s voice comes through the phone, sounding disbelieving.
“Rhodey, what happened on May 3rd?”
“Tony.” Rhodey says, now almost deadpan. There’s some background noise, like someone is talking to him.
“Yeah, it is me, Rhodes, I’m so glad you got that. You have one hell of a brilliant mind, my friend, I’ve always said it. That’s why we get along so well. Now, come on: What happened on May 3rd?”
“Is… Is this some kind of code?” Rhodey’s voice grows wary. “Are you in the middle of some ridiculously risky project that can only be activated by repeating the date “May 3rd”? Shit, did I just trigger a bomb by saying it?”
Tony rolls his eyes because seriously, that was one time. “Look, Rhodey, Steve-“
“Oh.” Rhodey breathes something that sounds suspiciously like relief and amusement. “Oh, we’re just freaking out about something Steve did again. Ok, go on.”
“Can you take this seriously? I’m calling you in need of severe help, help even my uniquely advanced A.I. can’t provide. My relationship might be in danger here!”
Rhodey actually scoffs, the asshole. “Your relationship is in danger because you can’t remember what happened on May 3rd?”
“You know, I don’t like the tone of mockery your voice is taking, but, in the interest of quickness, I’m going to choose to ignore it.” Tony paces like a lunatic, his voice rising at every word. “Listen, there’s a fancy, romantic, amazing candlelit dinner waiting for me on the roof right now, along with my very romantic and amazing boyfriend, who is dressed quite fancy as well, may I add, and I’m in the bathroom trying to sort out the extent of my failure as a human being. You don’t happen to know anything about it?”
There’s a pause, and Tony can honestly see Rhodey’s exasperated smile. “I’m failing to see the problem here. Steve prepared a special dinner for you, and you think your relationship is in danger?”
Tony sighs. “Rhodes. This is not a special dinner. Steve’s idea of a special dinner is letting me order pineapple on the pizza while he bakes cookies.”
(Tony’s eyes widened as he looked at the huge bowl in front of him. Steve opened the pizza case right next to them, taking off his apron.
“I thought we could stay in tonight.” At Tony’s inquiring glance, he just shrugged. “I just… I don’t know, we could still go out if you want to. It’s just… It’s been so busy lately, with all the meetings and everything, and now that the law is finally finished, I thought we could relax a little.”
“Oh.” Tony said, slowly, still taking in the image of Steve in an apron, smiling bashfully at him. “So are these glad-the-team-is-back-together cookies?”
Steve ducked his head. “I was going more for glad-we-are-together-now cookies.” He reached forward slowly, covering Tony’s hand with his own, and Tony wished he could at least try not to beam back.
“These are my favorite cookies.”
Steve laughed. “You’ve never had any.”
Tony intertwined their fingers together, and boy, what a nice image that was. “Still my favorites.”)
“Really, Tones? Pineapple? The man really loves you.”
“Focus! This is about my problem, not your unfortunately close-minded view of pizza toppings.” Tony shifts, impatiently. “My point is, this is obviously some kind of celebration. Some romantic celebration. And it has to be really special, because, swear to God, he’s wearing new shoes and everything, Rhodes! In any other circumstances, I would have taken a picture. Steve went out and bought a new suit and new shoes out of his own free will, because what he wanted to celebrate was that important. And I can’t remember what it is!”
“Ok, ok, calm down.” Rhodey says, and Tony imagines him massaging his temples. “It isn’t your anniversary?”
“No. That’s in October.”
“God, took you guys seven months to get together ever after he came back? Damn, I forget how slow you two are.” Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Rhodey continues. “Ok, I know it’s not your birthday. Is it his?”
“I’d remember if it was his birthday, Rhodey. I’m not that bad of a boyfriend.”
(“Tony, this is…” Steve’s voice faltered as he held the ball on his hands, staring at the old, almost fading signature of Babe Ruth. “Tony, this- This must have cost…”
“You know, I still want to see your ID. The original one, not the one SHIELD definitely faked when you decided to wake up from your glorified nap.” Tony babbled, looking around the living room, staring at the couch’s pillows, the floor, and anything that wasn’t Steve’s flushed, amazed face. Steve let out a disbelieving laugh, sounding filled with wonder. Tony’s heart took a leap on his chest as he forced himself to find the ceiling very interesting. “Don’t play dumb with me, Rogers. There’s no way July 4th is your actual birthday. This is some “Star-Spangled Man With a Plan”-bullshit propaganda, and not even a subtle one.” He turned around, pointing an accusatory finger at Steve’s direction.
“You say this every year.” Steve said, his voice soft and fond, his eyes so bright and filled with mirth and affection Tony couldn’t have looked away if he tried.)
“Fine, fine. In that case… I have to admit I’m running out of ideas.”
Tony runs a hand through his hair, because honestly, so is he. Right now, Steve is alone on the top of the roof, with the perfect romantic night all around him, probably wondering why in God’s name Tony has apparently died on his way to the bathroom. Tony almost wishes some supervillain would attack, so he’d have a perfect explanation for his disappearance, but it’s not like he keeps Thanos on speed dial.
“God, Rhodey, I’m so screwed, and not in the good way. Hell, probably never will be again, at least not by Steve, not when he finds out. I don’t know how could my brain fail me like that, it’s usually the only thing I can count on, and it just stabbed me in the back, what is up with that, honestly, I can remember all kinds of useless things like traffic laws and Barton’s name, how can I not-“
There’s some movement in the line, and, after a second, a new voice says: “Hi, Tony.”
“Oh, hey, Carol.” Tony greets, before going back to his monologue. “You know, I think this might be the reason, I keep storing meaningless stuff in my brain and actually important things end up slipping off, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Pepper about that damn social security number, what am I even gonna use that for-”
“So, I couldn’t help but overhear your, uh, moral dilemma.” She says, her voice collected. “And since Jim wasn’t really helping you, I thought I’d swoop in to give some much needed, womanly wisdom.” She takes a deep breath, and Tony definitely can hear Rhodey chuckling in the background. “Tony, I know there are airport clerks out there that would say otherwise, but you and Steve are both grown-ass adults. So maybe you can act like one, tell him you’ve forgotten whatever is it that you’re supposed to be celebrating and apologize like a normal person. Steve is not gonna hold it against you. You will find out what May 3rd means for the two of you, never forget again, and we can end this call now so that, with some luck, both of us can still get laid tonight.”
Tony blinks for a moment. “Wow. Damn. That was good, Danvers. Forget Rhodey, I should start calling you for advice.”
“Please don’t.” She says, cheerfully, and hangs up on him.
There’s… Really no denying Carol’s logic, Tony knows, and… Fine, he admits he may have been overreacting a little. But it’s kind of a tough job, to be worthy of Steve’s general… Steve-ness. Tony managed most of his anxiety-induced freak-outs fine during their first year together, so he guesses he’s slowly getting better at it, even with the whole, you know, “hiding in a bathroom until his best friend’s girlfriend talks some sense into him” thing.
So. Ok. He takes the elevator back to the roof.
Steve is looking at something on his phone when he arrives, and there’s a deep frown on his face that makes Tony’s chest tighten. “Hey.” He says, and Steve looks up.
“Hey.” He replies, with a mix of worry and relief. “What happened?”
Tony breathes. Honesty and maturity, he thinks. He can do this.
“Oh, no big deal. Rhodey called. Some trouble with Carol.” He says, because no, apparently, he can’t do this. Shit.
From the look on Steve’s face, he doesn’t buy that in the slightest, but, mercifully, he lets go. He walks to Tony, wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing his mouth chastely.
“Missed you.” He says, and Tony leans forward to kiss him again, feeling the warmth and softness of his mouth, arms reaching to hug Steve’s shoulders – and, wow, that suit is really something. “I think dinner has probably gotten a bit cold, so I thought we could skip it.”
For a moment, Tony thinks Carol’s words were a blessed prophecy, and he’s about to open his mouth and say something along the lines of Fuck yeah when Steve pulls away from him, taking his hand and walking with him near the edge.
“It’s a nice view, isn’t it?” Steve asks, and Tony takes a quick glance at the cities lights and the dark sky before looking at Steve again, when he shifts a little on his side.
“Yeah. It’s beautiful.”
Steve stays silent for a moment, as if he’s thinking.
“Do you, uh. Do you remember when I said this building was ugly?”
Tony’s eyes widen. Of course he does, it would be impossible not to remember that one time he met the love of his life and proceeded to hate his guts with every fiber of his being. “I do. But that was in February.” He adds, unable to stop himself, and Steve seems confused for a moment, but he continues.
“It feels like a lifetime ago.” He says, his thumb gently caressing Tony’s hand. “I ran to the streets totally lost, and, the first time I saw it, it just stuck out like a sore thumb, this huge building on a city I used to know.” Steve turns to him, and there’s a slight flush on his cheeks as he continues. “I had no way of knowing it would turn out to be home.”
Tony does not swoon, nor does his best to avoid swooning, thank you.
“So much has happened since.” Steve continues, and, holy shit, Tony panics, this is a speech, isn’t it? A beautiful, inspiring, heartfelt Captain America trademarked speech, about some important thing Tony still doesn’t remember. “When I… When I left.” Steve’s voice goes soft, like it always does when those memories hit, and Tony gives a gentle tug on his hand, as a reflex. He smiles. “I never thought I’d get to come back. I… I never thought I’d get this, you know?” He gestures at their hands together, and there’s that nervousness in his voice again, that Tony doesn’t get. “Never, in a million years. Even before that mess, even when we weren’t fighting, I never thought you… I wanted you for so long, since the beginning, and I never even thought to hope-“
“Steve.” Tony says, because Steve’s voice is getting choked up, and he can’t, he can’t deal with that, he needs to come out and say it.
“-that you could feel the same, and then there was Thanos, and the new law, and I couldn’t even believe we were friends again, let alone-“
“Steve.” Tony repeats, because fuck, he should have just said it already. Steve eyes him anxiously, his posture tensing up, but he doesn’t stop.
“I, I know, I’m rambling a bit, but we’ve been through so much, Tony, and I’m so grateful we can be here, and I just want to-“
“Stop!” Tony exclaims, grabbing his wrists. “Just, don’t.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, Steve.”
Steve takes a sharp breath, his eyes widening, and shit, he looks so hurt. Like, legitimately, truly hurt, and Tony doesn’t even know how he managed to fuck up that much.
“Hey.” Tony tries to meet his eyes, but Steve looks away. “Hey, please, I swear I didn’t mean to-“
Steve blinks a few times, clearly trying to compose himself. “It’s fine, Tony.”
“No, it’s not fine.”
“Yes, it is. I… I should be the one to apologize, I should’ve known-”
“What? No, fuck that, it’s not your fault I’m-“
“-I mean, we’ve never even discussed it-“
“-the worst boyfriend in the universe, but I promise it won’t happen again, I will program it deep into Friday’s code, she’ll never let me forget it -“
“-I guess I just, I just wanted it so bad and I let myself believe you might want it too, but you don’t have to-“
“-and if she does I swear to God I will dismantle her and- Wait, I ‘might want’?”
Steve looks slightly confused. “I… I guess I misread. I thought since, you know, so much has happened, we could...”
Tony blinks. “Steve, what are you talking about?”
Steve just stares at him. “What are you talking about?”
“I…” Tony waves his hands frantically, indicating everything around him. “I don’t know what this is about. I’m sorry. I tried my best to remember, I swear, and I don’t know how it could’ve slipped away, but it did.”
“Tony, what are you talking about?” Steve repeats, and Tony throws his hands up in the air in frustration.
“This! This is obviously a celebration, and clearly a fantastic one that you’ve put a lot of work in, but I can’t, I can’t for the life of me remember what we’re supposed to be celebrating today. I keep trying to run through all the dates in my head, but I can’t find it. We met for the first time in February, my birthday is in April, your birthday is in July, you came back in March, our anniversary is in October, we had sex in November and that was also our first date, and-“
“God, I go overboard with the dates, don’t I?” Steve says, his face crunched with self-consciousness, but also somehow less tense, which is a relief.
“You do, but it’s great, I don’t want you to ever stop. It’s just hard to keep up sometimes, and right now I really have to know, seriously, what happened on May 3rd?”
Steve looks at him for a moment, blue eyes blinking as he opens a small, honest smile.
“Nothing.”
Tony’s pretty sure he misheard. “What?”
Steve shifts. “Nothing happened on May 3rd. It was actually the reason I choose to do it today.”
“You… You choose…”
Steve huffs out a laugh. “Tony, you know I don’t actually care if you don’t remember everything about our relationship in extensive detail, right?” His free arm goes to Tony’s waist, pulling him closer. “My memory is different from others. I know that. I love remembering everything there is to remember about us,” He says, his hand gently caressing Tony’s lower back. “But I don’t mind it if you don’t. We’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
Tony ducks his head.“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
“You are.” Steve says, gently. “I love you.”
Tony definitely does not blush. “God, that’s so ridiculous. You were just trying to have a romantic night and here I was freaking out…”
“Hm. Actually. About that.” Steve tightens his grip on his hand, and Tony feels him shaking slightly. “I… Wait. You know what?” He lets go of Tony, looking at him nervously, bright blue eyes glancing from Tony’s hands to his face. “Screw it.” He says.
And gets down on one knee.
There’s a distant, remote part of Tony’s genius brain that’s finally able to add up the fancy decorations, the suit and the hurt look on Steve’s face when Tony was apologizing to come to the inevitable conclusion that he is, indeed, the biggest idiot in the universe. Everything else is elevator music.
Steve smiles sheepishly. “Probably should’ve led with that, huh?”
That same distant part of Tony’s brain that’s still able to have something resembling rational thoughts thanks his past self for getting rid of the arc reactor, because he’s pretty sure it would have overloaded at this point.
Steve picks something from the pocket of his jacket, a ring case with the most amazing, beautiful ring Tony has ever seen, and, ok, Steve didn’t open it yet, but who cares, it’s already the most incredible ring to have ever existed on Earth.
“So. I had a really great speech ready, but someone interrupted it, and, well, now I don’t know if I should just pick up where I left off or be straight up about it, but to be honest, I think I forgot most of what I was planning to say.” Steve says, and he’s – he’s rambling, Tony notices, he’s still nervous, as if he’s still not completely sure how this is going to go, Jesus Fucking Christ, they really deserve each other. “So I should, I should just…” He holds up the case, opening it. His eyes find Tony’s face, nervous but intense, the bravest and most beautiful gaze Tony knows. “Tony Stark, will you-“
“Yes.” Tony blurts out.
Steve’s eyes blink at him, his face flushes, the beginning of a gorgeous grin on his lips. “Really?” He asks, and his eyes are shining slightly now, like they’re wet, and Tony can’t take it anymore. “I mean, I, I really should finish saying it-“
“Yes. Yes. Fuck yes.” Tony’s hand grabs Steve’s collar, pulling him up. He smashes their mouths together, kissing Steve breathless, stopping only to start pressing kisses all over his face, and, fine, maybe it’s not just Steve’s eyes that are wet now. “Fuck, Steve, yes. Yes. Holy shit, yes.”
Steve beams against his mouth, his arms hugging Tony’s waist, breath warm against Tony’s cheek. “You know, I’m getting mixed signals here, I’m not sure I get what you’re trying to say.“
“God, Rogers, shut up.” Tony says and Steve presses his mouth against his, his beard prickling Tony’s skin and increasing the delicious, overwhelming warmth on his chest. “I will marry you. I will marry the shit out of you.”
“Well, this is awkward.” Steve mutters, a snarky smile on his face, hands going up to cup Tony’s face now, looking at him with such fondness Tony almost forgets to breathe. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to adopt a dog with me. But we can marry now, I guess.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Tony whispers, winded, and Steve’s laugh against his mouth feels like heaven.
Exactly three hundred and sixty-five days later, Tony stretches on the bed, his hand caressing Steve’s hair, lips warm against Steve’s ear, his voice low and giddy as he whispers: “Do you know what day is today?”
Steve’s smile is the only answer he needs.